First Contact
Introducing yourself online and your first meeting.
Did the internet ruin things or help
Rant! Did the internet ruin things or help? I don't take any of these sex sites very seriously. I don't come to any of these sites (SLS, FL, Recon etc..) thinking I'm going to fin…
6replies193viewsDTF
We are very experienced lifestylers. We like to meet another couple for drinks, lunch or dinner. Then we go home and discuss if we would like to play. If yes, we ask the other cou…
4replies328viewsDress code
So what do you wear on a first meet? After years in the lifestyle, I still struggle with this. Obviously the venue is a factor, whether you're meeting a single or a couple, yes I'…
by sexxyjessy6915replies1,269viewsSwitching the conversation
Say you have been messaging a couple online and thing are going great, how should you switch the conversation from normal vanilla stuff to something more sexy and we want to swap?
by malandliz9replies971viewsIntroduction
What do most people put as an opening line to contact, and inquire as to whether a couple may be interested ? I tend to say where we are from, that we are interested in "your" pro…
by MNJFLA2replies811viewsWhat to talk about?
My partner and I are new to navigating this lifestyle. When you first meet up with other couples for a meet and greet, what's "acceptable" to talk about? What do people find turns…
by Delmania24replies1,983viewsProfile Review Request
Hello. I’m a single male and very new to the site, I was hoping to get a profile review please. I’ve sent out a good amount of introductory messages to interesting couples but hav…
by XeniaGuy5replies703viewsCan I have your opinon privately
I have no experience with meeting people on here. I have only met people in person at a club. A couple recently messaged me on here and they are in a hurry to play with me. I said…
by Ymichael1468replies2,965viewsFriends feature
We're new to the site. We got and accepted a friend request. It doesn't seem to have changed anything. Still the same level of photo access. What exactly does being "friends" do f…
by JandJDoeSRQ14replies888viewsProfile evaluation
Hello all. We were wondering if we could get an evaluation of our profile? Also, why do paid members not respond to initial contact of saying “hello”? I just don’t understand!! Th…
6replies560views- 6replies612views
Business / information cards
We often carry and hand out information cards. One side has our photo the other side has our contact information. When we cruise we even write our cabin number on the card. This a…
by MNJFLA4replies592viewsGHOSTING NEW TWIST ???
We chatted with a couple on a site today, they seemed very interested, even showed us their photo. Start out with him doing the talking, then "supposedly" she takes over and state…
by MNJFLA8replies1,145viewsAruba Christmas vacation 2022
We are going to Aruba from 12/20/22 to 12/27/22. Is anyone else going to Aruba at the same time. We are planning to stay at Holiday Inn there. We can meet and have a great time.
by Man700replies648viewsMultiple Private Gallery requests
I suspect that these were accidental, but I got 4 requests from a couple with no other contact. If it were just 1 or 2 I might have Messaged them, but after 4 in a day, I just blo…
by mayhem811replies1,340viewsMy favorite part
The very first moment is probably my absolute favorite thing about swinging! When the door opens or when you're walking toward each other across the lobby or when you see them hea…
by sexxyjessy690replies903viewsDemanding ALL pictures opened before first contact?
So, I have been seeing an uptick in profiles stating 'if you contact us, make sure to have ALL your galleries opened!" and I'm wondering what their deal is. It feels like a red fl…
by Kefkalaugh5replies681viewsNever available or plans change on a dime
Perhaps this should have gone in the BF thread, but... We have a couple that we've chatted with for a while and exchanged outside emails. They occasionally write to us saying we s…
by mayhem810replies977viewsCopy and Paste introduction
It there something off putting about a copy and paste introductory message? Have lifestyle things picked up since Covid? It seems I have been having trouble meeting new friends la…
by SevenCoxxx47replies1,889viewsBad impression
So last night we got a message that in and of itself made us lose interest quickly. Not being ones to judge so quickly we went to the sender's profile and found that the message w…
by RusticMagic6replies728viewsKik
Brand new members here. Question: Should messages asking if we have Kik be considered suspicious? Is Kik even a good app? Everything else in profile seems legit so they might just…
144replies7,340viewsCamping
Looking to see if camping is a good way for a first meet. We own a camper and love the outdoors. Is anyone else interested in this.
by Newbee72923replies3,373viewsQuestion About Free Accounts
I've received a friend request from a couple with good pics, profile, validations, etc. No red flags. But no message and their profile is marked as a free account. I've sent them…
by Sparkline11replies1,522viewsIn Defense of Lets Fuck DMs
People often bitch and moan about lewd messages that skip the foreplay and get right down to business. These very same people will also decry timewasters and flakes. After a lot o…
14replies1,769viewsDistant contacts
Sometimes it's just people checking out your profile, and other times people actually reach out like you're going to get together for a drink sometime soon. Though they didn't rea…
by mayhem87replies729viewsNeed suggestions for an appropriate response
On another web site we just received a message saying just one word: “interested”. The couple didn’t attach any pictures or open any private galleries. Their profile has one publi…
by hotluvrs32replies3,200viewsFirst dates and fucking
I don't understand the frantic "I won't play on the first date" stuff in a swingers' community. A community specifically about sex. The boundary is don't fuck anybody you don't wa…
by Esperanza911158replies11,542viewsYes and No partner communication
Hi Everyone, We're still new, and just looking to meet sex positive people for drinks and chat with no expectations. However, at subsequent meets or a positive 1st meet, we may wa…
by Argonaut735replies700viewsInitiating First Contact - Its Complicated
I think your issues are much deeper than just getting pickup advice from other swingers. If the fear of making small talk with a woman at a swingers party indeed causes insurmount…
26replies3,398viewsOne sentence replies
One sentence repliers are odd characters. I think that anyone you're exchanging messages with should reciprocate an equal level of openness. I've had inquiries from various profil…
by MrTrainer34replies3,155viewsWhy do so few coupled women in the LS seem directly involve in their own dating lives?
It's frustrating to go to the trouble to actually finally meet a couple only to find out that the woman hasn't actually read our profile at all and just follows her husband wherev…
by Esperanza91182replies6,181viewsContact
Is it me, but i am in an ENM relationship with my fiancé. We play as couple but also separately. She has no issues finding playmates on SLS. Single guys, or guys that say they are…
4replies835viewsNo replys
Why is it that when you express interest in a profile then reach out politely to the owner suggesting there might be a match so to speak and open your pics for them to see and may…
21replies2,533viewsPersonal Gallery Pics
We were just contacted by a good looking guy with lots of G rated pics in his profile. He also has over 20 Certs to his credit. Something that set me back was the fact that a numb…
6replies1,132viewsSo bad I had to post it
Just got this contact from a single guy. His profile grammar is about the same. Really does he think he can attract anyone with this? Hi haw are yall doing i open my pic for yall…
49replies6,018viewsQuestion about the back and forth
Hello all, this forum has been really helpful for us as a couple as we start to navigate through some exciting experiences. We are completely new to this site and the LS. One ques…
by Jajk78806replies1,123viewsHow much is too much
If you don’t get a reply from a single or couple after your initial message, how many times should you follow up before moving on?
by ItsMrFlex51replies5,516viewsSharing Personal Galleries
Happy summer to you all. Couples/single women: what is your take on single guys opening their personal galleries in the 1st message, granted of course that the message itself is d…
by curious_mo11replies2,674viewsReading Profiles!!
I find that so many message me without reading the entire profile and if they did they would realize their odds were slim at best and proving that they didn't care about things I…
20replies2,702viewsTrend of skittish contacts?
Looking back to earlier this year when we first joined, our profile was pretty bad. Way to general/broad in the text and our pics did not flatter or even really show us. Fast forw…
30replies2,712viewsMessages to nowhere.
We have been in the lifestyle for a number of years and have meet a lot of great couples. But why is it that we send massages of interest or just to say hi and not even get any re…
by Lkng4Mschf58replies4,071viewsConnection on a first date?
When you are meeting up with a couple on a first date, what helps you both to feel connected to the other couple? Thanks!
23replies2,983viewsSexual expectations and communication?
We haven't made it as far as clothes coming off yet. And the first couple we met up with was absolutely wonderful when it came to talking about sexual likes/dislikes/etc. But we'v…
132replies8,820viewsLingo
We are very green when it comes to a lot of this. I understand that swapping would not be considered "soft". But, where is the line? What constitutes being into soft swinging? Tha…
by ButtsnPucks2replies1,023viewsCuriosity!!!!
My wife and I have a promise to each other. Either we both play or neither one of us plays. Why do so many men let there wives have sexual encounters, and they get what they are g…
by jb3ton12replies2,060viewsContinuing a conversation over text/IM
Once introductions and pleasantries are exchanged we move on to interests, jobs and what got us into the lifestyle. Now that we've tentatively set up a date it just seems rude to…
by WhiskeyGames9replies1,130viewsFace pictures requested .
So, some people say they won’t respond to you if you don’t put a face pic in your message... I feel that once you do that, you should at least get the courtesy of a response. Am I…
15replies2,553viewsInitial Contacting via messaging
Now that SLS has eliminated mail we all must use the messaging system. What is the consensus . . . . or various opinions as to the best way to make initial contact through the mes…
by pcbguy0183039replies3,955views- 2replies964views
Why do people swing?
We know why we swing. But ya think of all the jealous peeps out there amd we wonder, why do so many swing??? We are curious of reasons...
58replies5,101views