One sentence replies

It could take a while to get started and Certs would absolutely make or break a guy group like that, but a multiple guy scenrio is a very comnon fantasy.

Mayhem8- while I agree if someone like you were to have a SM heavy house party with guys you vetted, it would be popular. If I ever had an opportunity to join a group that someone was putting together, I would join. But I don't think SM's forming a group and cold calling couples to ask if they are interested would work. I think they would be seen as several annoying SM's attacking in a group, instead of one at a time. Unless the couple states in their profile they are looking for a group of men.

Off topic, but our regular parties are already wildly successful. Imagine being at house party with 40-60 people where everyone is polite, social, inclusive, and there to play. Of course not everyone will play with everyone else, but we have a large % of our peeps that are there to do just that, as time permits.So many people to fuck, so little time ;-)

I have no reason to think that the "guy heavy" parties won't also be wildly successful. Especially if we personally vet all of the SMs attending so that we know all are in attendance with the same goals in mind. Even though we haven't been actively looking for SMs, if/when we do, I go back and look at ones that reached out to us with more than just, "Hi" and "How R U?".

Hhhmmm Mayhem. You bring up some questions for all of us, especially those of us who are single guy friendly.

We think single guys are hugely represented online. But single guys who actually swing, like swinging culture, and who are good at it, is a pretty small demographic.

There are lots of lookie-lous, and pic collectors, but few who actually play. That's our assessment.

We also think there is a big hole in the LS for good, single guy heavy parties. Many fantastic ladies seem to want that. This could be your niche.

I scrolled back a while ago and saw Hotluvrs post -

"I’ve mentioned this before, but I will occasionally go the other way and respond with a three or four paragraph wandering missive. That normally stops them in their tracks."

The written word comes easy to me, so sometimes I unintentionally do this anyway ;-) Up until now, I really haven't engaged with SMs because we've not really been looking for them, other than at LS parties. Lately I've been slowly putting together a list of SMs with the idea of having some "guy heavy" parties. Ones with say 3-4 women and 10-12 guys, for example.

The problem is, a terse message could have success if the message receiver is looking for what the message sender appears to offer. Especially with the swipe left/right mentality.

Everyone knows that SMs are the single largest group (vs couples or SFs) on any sites like this. Few if any SMs realize that a GROUP of guys would likely be in much higher demand than any SM alone. There's really nothing stopping any guy from forming his own group, other than most can't think outside the box, pun intended.

I'm thinking that a group of reliable vetted guys actually endorsed by one or more couples or SFs would probably be like gold on any site like this, but I suppose we'll see eventually. Just like we started having our own parties because we couldn't find exactly what we were looking for, this could wind up being a slightly different slant on that theme.

So, with such a group, I wonder if a, "Interested in a gangbang?" message would work? That is 4 whole words though, so not quite the same ;-)

First message I just got from a couple was,
Bi
Hi

I take great joy nowadays in providing substantive feedback to people who cannot be bothered to write to us with any semblance of forethought.

BLOCK. If they can't communicate here with chat they won't be able to carry on a conversation in person.

Ya. To build off what others have said - it doesn’t have to be a long intro - but some kind of opening line and a personal touch to the messages get a lot further. Nothing worse that a “copy and paste” cold call message.

"Don't be so hard on the SM, it can be quite time consuming for us to try to connect with others when sites are swimming in an ocean of 'D'"

Meh. You've taken the seemingly smart but ultimately short-sighted road here. You don't need long, carefully crafted messages in order to avoid the seagull screech of the endless stream of "hi" and "hello" messages those of us who aren't single men get. A simple "Hi, my name is X and I (see we both like to Y) (really liked the part of your profile where you Z) (thought we might have some chemistry if we met).

Something like that gives people a reason to connect, unlike "hello," which is the virtual equivalent of showing up in front of my face in a bar and trying to claim my attention with no reason for me to give it to you other than manners. Which, after a lifetime of guys, have worn paper thin. "Hello" means you have no game, in life or online and nobody has time for that.

"... for the first contact, I believe a short hello is appropriate."

But there's a big difference between a short hello and "hello" being the entire message. ;-)

"Time consuming".. there it is.. LOL

Not for "us" we just turned down 2 short "hello's" as we are looking at forums.. .. one cannot communicate on an opening line.. we have found the same in person.. boring .. sorry our 25 plus years swinging and run into many one liners !

Once again.. not for "us"!

Love our single guys who we play and travel with..and all have some game and great communication skills from day one!

From a SM perspective.

I agree that the lead off with a friend request is bad form. And I will send a message stating as much!
However, for the first contact, I believe a short hello is appropriate. From my experience, and much effort spent previously sending long intro messages, I learned that the thoughtful and lengthy openers have not created more open dialogue. Therefore, I say a brief hello ...and then if they respond in kind, I take that as a signal of some interest, and will follow up with more detail or leading questions.
Don't be so hard on the SM, it can be quite time consuming for us to try to connect with others when sites are swimming in an ocean of "D"
Cheers to everyone ??

The latter. Probably bufuffled too.

~Allen

So, we've started replying to the single word messages in kind. If we get "Hi" we respond "Hi".

We must be totally repulsive because of the 10 or so hi's we sent back not one has responded back. I mean did they expect us to immediately beg them to let my wife sit on their cock? Or are they so shell shocked someone responded that they don't know what to do?

What about one word intros? Does "hi" actually work for anybody?? WTF?

On several occasions we have offended sm's and their, "Hi" "She's hot" "How's it going?"'s by replying in kind with a simple one word response. It isn't necessarily a generational thing, but rather a sense of entitlement. For example: "What the f***! You write that long profile and you can't even give me a real response?" Oh, wait... maybe that is a generational thing.

We get 4-5 "Hey's" a day...if not that it's idiots with a profile pic of a boner in sweatpants lol. Finally had to remove our interest for males.

Just got our shortest one yet.

Hey

That's it.

We also hate friend requests as a hello. More like Hell NO!

The last few well written messages on a second read thru are a copy and paste style that can be assumed is messaged to hundreds.

Geez, I guess it’s too much to want an articulate message that is written specifically for us.

Now to be fair we don’t message new people very often at all but when we do we take the time to do it right.

NR us too.. and now we have stated what we want in our profile.. and sorry not accepting the "generational thing".. as these guys have no clue how to talk and communicate.. in life too!

Sad but true and we will block them!

We've had a ton of responses in the last 10 days since we changed our profile to look for a SM. At least 5 have taken it to a new low by just sending a "friend request" with no words at all. Another bunch sent one liners (todays was "how is your weekend going?"). The rest have been articulate multi-sentence introductions that show they read our entire profile- although I admit most of them have been from guys over 50 (our age range is 49-75). So maybe it is a generational thing and an indictment of our educational system and cultural norms and we just have to get used to it

So, I also wonder how many have never had an actual written correspondence with of a personal nature? Maybe they are talking in “text” answers because that’s how they know to engage? I will admit to being guilty of this type of response to messaging from time to time. However, I do try to match the level of effort that the other party has invested- if we are interested. Or state we aren’t really interested, maybe just at this time or never.

Just the thoughts of a 40s Country Boy.

This can be a hard one.

I think some just aren’t talkative folk. Some don’t really get how you chat online.

On the other side I’ve had people tell me I say too much. Like I’m too responsive. Ask me what we are into, I’ll tell you. Ask how we are? I’ll tell you.

I’m just super chatty. It turns a lot of people off. There’s a weird middle I guess.

But we always connect better with other chatters that can talk to anyone like ourselves. In person, online, whatever.

Conversation can save any situation.

Hot,

3 or 4 volleys? Really? We almost never even get that far. It usually goes

Them - Hi
Us - Hello

Ghost.

It's pretty funny tbh but also frustrating. About 80-90% of our conversations go that way. And it is the same with couples too.