No replys

PW - hopefully that helps him understand.

I was about to reply to this topic, but then I remembered...

YMichael - you're reading my explanation backwards - the people you see as matches are what YOU are looking for. They are not reciprocal matches.

If your toggles show interest in couples and your age preferences are 18-99 then you'll see ALL the couples even if they only want single ladies.

If your age preferences are 60 to 99 then you won't see that 30something couple that's looking for retired single guys. ;-)

I just checked my matches. Out of 4, one is not interested in SM and two I am too old for.
To be fair, the last one is a match, but they just joined today and the profile is too good to be true so I will wait a week and see if they were shut down for spam before I contact.

Phoebert- not in my case. I am never close to what they are looking for.

"... this site sends me the same profile everyday as a match..."

Matches shown on your home page are profiles that meet YOUR requirements, not ones that are looking for someone like you.

Melvin- I agree.
But I also used it and just put "checked" in a profile that I do not meet their minimum requirements.
This is useful because this site sends me the same profile everyday as a match. For weeks.

I am slowly broadening my reading here in the fora. I came across this topic which has sat dormant for a couple of years... I'll add my two cents.

I have been in the lifestyle for quite a some time, as a true single male. And as what this topic's discussion is about, I have received more 'no responses' than I can count. I do not take it personally, as I see the higher road in that.

Sure, it would be nice if people did say that they were not interested, versus no response. But, the higher road way of thinking is, it is one less person or couple that you have to deal with. It eliminated them from your searches and narrows the field.

The notes feature here on SLS is a very useful tool. For every profile you do not get a response from, re-visit that profile only once more and put a note on that profile that they did not respond to you. This gives you a head's up if you come across this profile again or even see it in your Who's On feed, to not look at that profile again, as they chose to not respond to you.

I couldn't tell you how many profiles I put notes on for 'no response' or other things that caught my eye about that profile. The notes feature is your friend!

Midwest - making contact online takes time - sometimes much longer than you can imagine - and a response rate of 10%-20% is considered great (and that includes the "no thanks" responses).

If you're brave enough to post a profile review request there are several of us that will offer advice based on what we have learned about making contacts here. At a quick glance your profile isn't too bad but it has issues that might be limiting your success. If nothing else you'll want to replace "peak" with "pique" and maybe break up the big ole blocks of text into paragraphs.

Good luck and have fun!

~Phoebert's Wife

New_and_Naughty. Thanks, for the encouragement. We are definitely not in a hurry as we already have the best. LOL But we would love to find a little variety that we can also have something in common with outside the play as well. Yes, we are a little "picky" since it's not something we really need... just something that is exciting to both of us if we see a couple that we are both attracted to. For me (him) a beautiful face and great legs are more important that a perfect body and for her, a muscular chest and well groomed facial hair makes her hot. LOL. But we are not the suit and tie kind of couple and that seems to be most of them on here.

Midwest, after going through your profile it’s obvious what you’re looking for. You’re pretty picky, which there is nothing wrong with, you put it out there as to not waste your time or theirs. That being said, your options will be that much more limited. I’m sure you two will find what you’re looking for. You’ve only been here for a couple weeks, give it some time, you’ll be fine.

Cheryl and I are new to this... although I was in this lifestyle over 25 years ago, it was nothing like this. My ex was very bi and always arranged the dates. Now, this new online thing has both myself and Cheryl trying to decide just how to reach out to couples that we are interested in. So far, we haven't had much success. Most of the time she thinks we should just wait until someone reaches out to us, but I feel if we both like the couple, we should tell them. What works best and is there a certain protocol that we should be using? Or is it simply because she is strictly straight and I'm 65... although I work out and look and feel much younger. Or is it because we desire to be friends with the couples we play with as well that is stopping the replies? Any advice would be welcomed. Glenn and Cheryl.

Agree!

Especially when those who IM do not bother to READ your profile and requests.. yes it gets old !

This web site (and others like it) are for people to meet each other for the purpose of engaging in various levels of adult play. You take the time to write a profile, take & upload pictures, and pay money to put yourself on line.

So why do some people seem to take offense to receiving messages? Isn’t that why you’re here?

No reply is actually a reply. It’s just a more subtle stealth way to say you’re not interested.

I agree, reaching out to a couple is a risk that we take. Rejection is a part of life and a part of the Lifestyle. However, I have had multiple occasions were they have initiated contact and interest, and after exhausting emails, and excuses, you find you've been blocked.

We particularly enjoy the people who initiate usually with something tedious. Against better judgment we respond, and then they just dissappear. What was even the point.

I also enjoy the profiles that have language encouraging you to reach out and that they appreciate "no thanks" responses versus ignoring, but don't extend the courtesy themselves.

At this point. We log in to indulge our masochism and increase our misanthropy.

Why? It's basically like sending unsolicited direct mailers. Nobody owes anybody a response.

Metaphor...
I have a house with a door. You can knock. I am not required to answer or even to tell you to go away. You chose to come to my door. I didn't ask you to.

If they're polite we'll respond if we're not interested. The half ass messengers get deleted.

By them not giving you a reply its a clear answer that they are not interested. It sucks, but no couple owes you a reply

Yes, it is "kinda like polite", but your assumption that politeness is totally prevalent in today's society and here on SLS is where your expectation runs off of the tracks.

Country.. you have been here since 2008 .. and havent figured it out on SLS?..

Its what some do just move on and ignore them or block them .. only focus on those who are fun and get what you want..

There is an entire forum question on this .. with all sorts of answers.. seems you are late to this one..

Why is it that when you express interest in a profile then reach out politely to the owner suggesting there might be a match so to speak and open your pics for them to see and maybe chat if interested, then never even hear a reply, are we missing something, isnt that kinda like polite to say thanks but no thanks at least.