First dates and fucking

People are different. We know this. I get why some set it as a rule not to play on the first "date." It's not a transfer over of "vanilla" dating etiquette whereby a lady may feel cheap getting into bed too early. Even though the lifestyle is predicated on random and immediate, meaningless sex in a celebration of hedonism, and liberal attitudes concerning morality, there are still some folks who cannot be fully stimulated right away. "Demisexual" is the term for it, I believe.

The way I was raised, sex is always a big deal. I wouldn't have it any other way, treating it too casually. The time I seduced my editor was sort of a first date, and it still feels weird that she died around this time only a year ago. The older married couple who introduced me to swinging took my lifestyle "virginity" on our first meeting when I accepted their invitation into their home. I'd never been with a married woman before, compromising my morals so drastically. And despite their years of lifestyle experience, we all treated our sexual encounters as having special significance each and every time. I see it as an honor and a privilege to be able to fuck the lovely wives of other men. It's a big deal. I'm sure that my retaining a portion of the perspective that it's all so shameful and indecent spikes the thrill for me. All of that being said, I still banish all expectations when meeting a couple for the first time. I cultivate that respect for them, and it works out that, if the chemistry isn't favorable, I don't succumb to deep disappointment.

May I ask how you are about repeats. Guessing not friends but fucking the same person at a later date?

We don't take fucking all that seriously.

If we want to fuck people, we fuck them. Sometimes it works out great- and if so - great. Sometimes it doesn't, and if so - oh well.

If you don't place a whole lot of meaning on sex - which we don't - it's a little bit like a meal or a movie. Some are great and we want that again. Some are stinkers but - at worst - a waste of time.

Come down to Atlanta and we will just fuck.

I am the opposite it really trends me on to fuck a stranger. The first time I meet him or them. People that wanna do a meet and greet first and see how it goes. Never works out for me. We get in the friends zone and then I just don’t find them attractive.

That's an excellent way to handle it.

Several months after meeting, we ran into that same couple at a house party we had both been invited to. They weren't dressed "to the nines", but looked better than when we met them. But we still couldn't get the image of the way they were dressed in our first meeting out of our heads. It just illustrated how important first impressions are. Even if the plan is not to fuck on the first date, we want to leave that first meeting with an overwhelming desire to see them again and play with them. We love that anticipation and build-up.

@harley

If we agree to meet, we are fucking and when it turns to more thats great

Exactly....

Since I mostly look to meet older couples, I have no problem meeting at a location set by them without any expectation of it going any further. That gives them the opportunity to meet and see if someone, sometimes much younger than them, is compatible with what they are looking for.
This has worked very well for me so far.

If we agree to meet, we are fucking and when it turns to more thats great

I have done both! It all depends on the couple or lady for me. Many times I will suggest a meet & greet to a couple to see if their is chemistry and take the pressure off having sex on the first date! But that has failed for me so many times because before the end of the date the couple is suggesting we go get a room...hehe!!!!

For us my wife always dresses in good taste, will change into something sexy in the house. Keep in mind that the neighbors are always watching. The clothes all come off completely when we are ready to play, lol. We keep our swinging on the down low. When neighbors ask what about that car in your driveway. We tell them church friends LOL

We have walked away from a couple encounters for poor hygiene and dress.. it speaks volumes . We clearly state what we look for and if one doesn't have enough common sense to dress for success even with a hint of perfume or cologne along with ones clothes on a first meet.. NOPE not coming home with us.

One was a couple in overalls looking like they just came from working in barn or fields with dirty shoes!

Our profile.. the photos in a dress or sport jacket is how we meet our new playmates . We dress like its our date night.

We once invited a couple to our house to play. The wife walked from her car to our house in a super slutty negligee. Could you wear a coat or change in our house?

"Meeting and engaging playmates in these environments, and parties are much more efficient."

So true. Like speed dating.

All the people we meet with now outside of these parties are the people we already met at one of these parties.

"Again, this is the huge advantage with a LS party, assuming people are OK with them. Especially parties with open room play. I know some aren't into parties, but they not only increase odds by an order of magnitude, you may get to see a potential playmate in action."

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This point cannot be emphasized enough. That's why events like Bliss cruises, Naughty Nawlins, Hedo, Splash Mocha, etc are vital. Time is precious, and I hate wasting it. Meeting and engaging playmates in these environments, and parties are much more efficient.

You've see part of our tribe in action, Mayhem. Lol.

showing up for an encounter where the intention is to have sex, it's inexcusable to show up in a poor hygienic condition.

AMEN!!!!!

Neither C nor I are single and on dating web sites, so maybe we have this wrong. But if you match with someone on a dating web site and agree t meet for a drink or dinner, do you shop up dressed shabbily? Or do you dress to make a good first impression?

Maybe the female of the couple we met was interested in us but the male wasn't so keen so didn't make an effort. We get that.

But as Mayhem said, showing up for an encounter where the intention is to have sex, it's inexcusable to show up in a poor hygienic condition.

MandC - the male was in work pants and a shabby sports logo hoodie. Turned C right off. Total buzz kill.

It makes you wonder what goes through people's mind when they do this shit. Let's say you are meeting at a beach bar, sure khaki shorts and a polo or button-up shirt are appropriate. Gym shorts and a T-shirt are not the way to make a good first impression. The lady in a sundress is fun, not in Walmart pajamas - LOL.

As I type this, I'm wearing old jeans and a camo shirt. My bride is out at the horse barn in old jeans and a sweatshirt. While quite appropriate attire in this circumstance, we would never be dressed this way for a "date" with a new couple we were meeting.

Sometimes, you just need to have the nerve to make a U-turn and walk away.

Mayhem- That's a buzz kill.Prepare you and your house to host, and have that happen.........sorry.

We're just not wired to understand how people can show up to a situation where it's understood you'll be intimate with them, and they decide to look like slobs.

MandC508 - "All we could think was how glad we were we had just met for a drink because if they answered their door like that, we'd have felt more trapped."

We had someone show up like that at our house once, and we just told them "No". He had camo flannel PJ bottoms and looked like one of the late-night Walmart shoppers you hear about. She was dressed like someone getting ready to paint a room, including having actual paint stains on her old jogging suit that had holes in it.

As if that weren't enough, when she smiled she was missing one of her front teeth that was not shown in any of the pictures. In case anyone was wondering, Yes, they were from Maine and the "Have all of my teeth" stereotype is apparently a thing.

This was on a first date, which made it unlikely we would ever play with them in the future is well,

MNJFLA- We've experienced the same on dates. Agreed to meet a local couple for a drink to gauge interest. We freshly showered before leaving, dressed nice (like we were going to dinner ourselves), and met this couple. We had liked each other's profiles & pics, exchanged some messages, and we prepared to take them up on their offer to host us at their home on the following weekend. They showed up and while the lady was dressed nicely, the male was in work pants and a shabby sports logo hoodie. Turned C right off. Total buzz kill. All we could think was how glad we were we had just met for a drink because if they answered their door like that, we'd have felt more trapped. Can't help but think that if they are not clean on the outside, they're probably not clean on the inside......

We ran into them about a year later at a house party we were both invited to, and they were both dressed better than when we originally met, but we still couldn't get that first meeting image out of our heads. Sometimes people don't understand how important a first impression is. Remember, you're trying to appear fuckable.

Again, this is the huge advantage with a LS party, assuming people are OK with them. Especially parties with open room play. I know some aren't into parties, but they not only increase odds by an order of magnitude, you may get to see a potential playmate in action.

For women, they can see if a guy is having ED issues. Is he attentive or is he a "Suck my dick and spread your legs" kind of guy. You can see how they treat a women after they play. Some guys actually engage women in conversation while others are like a pack of wolves looking to take advantage of a heat-of-the-moment opportunity.

For both men and women, you get to see if they can carry on a conversation about something other than sex. These people are right in front of you, so pictures or anything else in a profile (assuming they even have one) don't matter. No 4-way texting or verification calls needed. If they are there, they are on your schedule. You decide in the moment if you like their looks/personalty enough to play, or not.

Aside from all of the above, you still have the option to meet and talk and potentially play at a later date.

We have played first date most of the time. Only time we did not is when they showed up, talked too much, drank too much, or were slobs. We always dress well, shower, shave, look and smell great. We hate men that think they are Gods gift to women. They simply do not have any tact, act like my wife should fall all over them, and their wife just sits there, like she had been dragged along. We do take some chances and meet people thinking "benefit of the doubt." Hard to know exactly what people are going be until meeting. Sometimes we have not met a couple in a while and meet them, out of sheer boredom. In summary this is a numbers game, and there are people out there that have no business in the lifestyle. This being said because so many are dishonest, deceiving, and a waste time.

We intend to play the second time, let other couple know.

We have had a few situations where three out of four wanted to play. The fourth person often took one for the team. We then established one vanilla meeting, then ask other couple if they want to meet the second time. Sometimes yes, sometimes no.