While I understand not wanting to be pushy or too forward, you do have to watch out for those who just like to talk, or something. I have a couple that have talked to me for about two years. I asked about a year ago if they were planning on meeting me and said not be in such a rush.
So, unless you want to talk to them for two years, I would suggest you ask if they would like to meet for coffee or lunch or anything else non sexual.
If everyone is engaged in good conversation, we usually don't feel a need to move things in a sexual direction. We'd rather miss a play opportunity than risk being considered too forward/pushy.
For whatever reason, we tend to interact with a fair number of newbies at home 2 on 2. In those cases, we try to let the couple know what the answer to the, "Would you like to play?" question would be, but many times leave it up to the newbies to ask if/when they are ready.
At parties, it tends to be a little different because most are there to actually play at the parties we attend, but they still like to do so most times with people that can carry on a decent conversation.
We usually tend to ask questions that give them the opportunity to open up: "So how long have you been in the LS?", "When did you decide the LS was right for you?", "Has there been any experience in the LS you liked?" Stuff like that.
As for "We want to swap", that's usually reserved for after an initial meeting. We all assess interest. And even if not said outright, a second meet-up is typically a good indicator.
"Many nights have been wasted because everyone was too shy to speak up."
Lucky for us (OK, for me) Mrs. G isn't everyone. She can speak up without saying a single word.
Somebody has to be brave enough to risk rejection and turn the conversation.
Keep in mind that if the chatting has been going well then chances are very good you will have a positive outcome.
Many nights have been wasted because everyone was too shy to speak up.
Just like a profile can give you ideas for common vanilla topics to talk about, it can also provide fodder for LS conversations. A common one is people lierally ask you to ask them about their fantasies in the Experience/Fantasies section. If there are no clues in the profile, you could try just asking them what an ideal meet up would look like for them.
Another tact is you can talk about experiences you had in a general sense, either in the past or present. This could backfire if they perceive you as "players", but that may also mean they're looking for something exclusive. IMHO, this kind of flies in the face of why one gets into the LS though. Better to find that out sooner rather than later, unless you just enjoy the vanilla banter.
While online, my conversations can range at any given point from making and canning our own salsa, to gangbangs, and everything in between. The gift of gab is predominant in my genes though, and everyone is different.
It's awkward to go directly from only vanilla conversation to "let's swap" ;-)
Have you already gotten a bit flirty in conversations? Have you asked about how they got into swinging or what they enjoy most about swinging? Assuming you're getting positive reactions to flirting and sexy conversation then you can suggest that you think you'd enjoy playing with them and would like to meet to confirm the attraction in person.
We tend to meet somewhere for coffee, lunch or dinner (usually not alcohol because we want our wits about us) and then if all are agreeable we'll head to our house or a nearby motel. Some people don't like to play immediately - they want to go home and privately discuss their thoughts. Being cautiously optimistic, fun and easy going will probably yield the best results.
Good luck!
I’m sure you’ll get some great advice here.
We try to keep it simple, for example: “we like you, we are ready to meet for a play date; if you’re ready also we are available next weekend”.
Be prepared to hear a yes, maybe, or no. If the answer is no, don’t take it personally (easier said than done) and move on.
If the answer is yes, have some suggestions ready as to where to meet.
Welcome... For one thats why MOST are here.. it should be an easy transition and once the small talk is out of the way we agree to meet and if all have chemistry we go home or back to a hotel and have fun in bed.. that easy. Dont over think it.. we are all adults here and just let it flow.. shy ones will always sit on sideline.
Be yourself, be respectful, be fun, , be flirty.. all real communication skills people should have.
We actually get more requests weekly than we want but sorry not all a match based on ones profile and photos.. so that is a first step for us. If you have a lame profile, not interesting we will pass you by... Ours pretty much tells what we are looking for and we do stick to what we have written.
We will not take one for the team and all have to be on the same page.. swinging well over 25 years and we enjoy it with great people.
So , Good luck and enjoy.
Say you have been messaging a couple online and thing are going great, how should you switch the conversation from normal vanilla stuff to something more sexy and we want to swap?
