Continuing a conversation over text/IM

The Mrs and I both seem to have the gift of gab and, more often than not, have to hold back from saying things so as to allow everyone to actively participate in the conversation. It's great when people have so much to say they feel like they just can't get it all in.

There have been some VERY rare times though with certain people where there was the awkward silence because nobody had anything to say. Can't remember now if that was the case online with the same couple as well, but we usually get a good indication from chatting online a little how things will go conversation-wise in person.

Just as was mentioned earlier, my Mrs doesn't feel it behind a keyboard either, but you would never know it in person. She however doesn't have the same issue texting for whatever reason, and No, she is NOT a millennial ;-)

We are one of each. The Mr enjoys pre-meeting conversation. He looks at it as a way to build up on that in person conversation. As an example if they've been to Desire Resorts, a little back and forth about what they enjoyed helps to begin a further in person conversation. The Mrs can pass on pre-meeting conversation. She doesn't build friendship/relationship/sexual attraction over a keyboard.

One of us is a planner the other is a take it as it's presented. So it makes for some interesting conversations on the way. He...well they like A, B and C and have been to X, Y and Z. Her...what are their names again?

I guess we kind of fall in the middle............

On one hand, we don't want a lot of conversation before hand, because as has been said, we want to save it for when we meet. On the other hand, we want to make sure the couple we will be meeting knows we are looking forward to meeting, and we love to hear when a couple lets us know they are looking forward to meeting us. Silence does make us wonder if the level of interest in meeting is maintained.

I think Catchy said it well. Plus, we'd rather leave a lot of the topics you mentioned for when we actually meet. If you think having nothing to say is difficult when your apart, imagine how much more awkward that would be in person.

To be honest once a face to face meeting is set up there really is nothing left to talk about. After that it depends on how that meeting goes. Unlike a lot of folks we are not in the lifestyle to collect "friends" we are in it to make a connection and have a fun time with a few select people then go on our merry way until we meet up again. Now some would call that friendship and in a way it is but these are not people we hang out with or talk to daily. Some it would be just fine if they were but others well we are just in it for the sex as it were. Now this does not mean we do not have a couple people we met through the lifestyle as Facebook friends or we do not belong to a local swinger's group on Facebook but we do not have everyone as such. We also do not want to do so. For the most part we are happy somewhere between "Hey you want to get together for sex tonight?" as the only contact and 'We are thinking about going out next weekend we know you have (fill in the blank) planned but were wondering if you wanted to meet up instead or after?" in regards to contact and how much we know about each other.

BTW here is a couple prime examples of too much or wanting too much contact. We had someone who was involved in "running" a local group with regular parties. Social media was not as it is now and she was somewhat new to such things. Each and every site she joined she sent out a group mail (spam if you will) for folks to join it with her. She would then get upset if you did not. I mean really offended like taking it personally. Another time we got invited by others for a day on the water. Now as far as we knew it was going to be swingers out on an island partying and in discussing it we had mentioned it was also "National Nude Day" and it would be nice to lay out sans swimsuit. Others agreed. Well we get to the location and find everyone except us had brought kids, parents, grandparents, and grand kids accordingly. We had left our children home expecting a day on the water with adults and as was mentioned nude tanning with whatever else came up. Needless to say we decided not to stay long and simply went fishing. Having young children it was not easy for us to arrange for a full day without them so we did enjoy ourselves but had we known that it was a "family" affair we would have brought our kids or more likely done something else with them.

When keeping in contact and sharing personal information you really need to keep in mind how much is enough. Also a lot depends on what you and the other party are looking for. If this is a first meet up just enough contact to set things up and then like 24 hours before (or less) a message saying how much you are looking forward to the meet up is more than enough. After that then it can vary between "we appreciate meeting you but have no further interest." to "We can't want till we can get together again mind if I send you a Facebook request so we cal play games together?" BTW generally we find it best to go somewhere in between saving the whole Facebook thing for down the road after a few more meetings and we know we want to become more than just fuck buddies and actual friends. Like was said though except for a few rare cases we try to keep things separate ourselves.

If we haven't had sex already, I'm happy with no contact between setting up the date and confirming the day before. More than that kinda creeps me out. After, so long as it went well and we've decided we want to continue seeing each other, I'm okay with slowly increasing contact. It's kind of a delicate operation though, at least initially.

I have a playmate I've been seeing for nearly two years and we text all day long some days, like with any other friend, but we didn't start that way and I would have run if he'd tried it.

You definitely have to play this one by ear. As evidenced by the earlier responses, different couples want different things. Some folks consider pre-date sexting and essential foreplay. I don’t mind some of that, but my wife is totally turned off by it.

Everyone has their comfort zone. For me personally if there is a play date or a first meeting set up and then I don't hear anything from the person I will think they have lost interest.
I have no interest in one night stands so I am building friendships for FWB'S. I don't discuss jobs or family prior to meeting except in the case of asking if the man has children. (Kids take priority in scheduling as they should)
That contact before meeting is like foreplay :)

Maybe it is different when it is couples looking for a 4 way connection?

Stop trying. It creeps some people out. We've changed our minds about meeting couples for second dates because the male halves wanted to "keep the conversation going" until we got together again. It comes across clingy, and no one wants clingy.

Think of it as inviting the neighbors over for dinner. You invite, they accept, and then there's probably no contact until the day before/day of dinner. They'll ask what they can bring, you confirm they're coming and what time. Everyone saves the conversation for dinner.

They don't try to keep the conversation going in the meantime. They know the plans and are living their lives as usual. They'll come over for dinner, you'll have fun, and then they'll go home and go back to living their lives as usual.

You text the next day and thank them for coming over. They said they had a nice time, and we should do it again sometime. Whether you do so again is another chapter in the story, and irrelevant at this point.

Swinging is the same, except dinner is replaced by sex (though we've been known to serve dinner, then play) but the rules stay the same.

Once introductions and pleasantries are exchanged we move on to interests, jobs and what got us into the lifestyle. Now that we've tentatively set up a date it just seems rude to not continue speaking. Couples are like dating ppl, but damn is it hard to keep convos going. Any ideas?