Dress code

[quote=HOPnrBED]Never a second chance for a first impression.[/quote]It's been well over a year since we met that couple, have run into them at a couple of parties since, and still can't get that initial meeting out of our heads.

On one hand, I feel like we're being petty and over-reacting. But on the other hand, we took it as a sign of disrespect that we weren't important or interesting enough for them to make a minimum of effort to look nice. We keep thinking that if we arrange to play, will they be dressed in a way that would be a turn off.

So HopnrBED, you are exactly spot on.

We are happy that people have posted this and others have responded with some great comments. We too have had some wonderful experiences with people that dressed and presented well. There also have been some that we honestly should have gotten up and walked out on. We gave them the benefit because we wanted to see what their personality was like. Honestly even if they had great personalities, we could not get past the initial attire part, of the introduction. Some one here mentioned that first impressions, and basically " selling yourselves," is what this is all about. We need to look and act our best, do not drink much, and get loud and crazy. People that drink a lot and brag about themselves, in our opinion, actually have very little to offer in the bedroom. We are not animals by any means, but are here like most people, looking for sexually compatibility. Hope you all will take time and read these well written comments, and give some serious thought how you want to present when you meet a couple for the first time.

HOP... EXACTLY !

Just amazes us how many do not have it even with photos on SLS!

Never a second chance for a first impression.

Always with us too SOC.. YES dress to impress and the ones with Kat in a dress are from mainly times before a meet or a date night!

We will not accept anything less for our play times and our guys and couples get it as they do same.

We tend to enjoy dressing up anyway, I guess we are old school. When meeting a couple, we dress as though we were going on a "date", you know, like the old days when you were hoping to get lucky. I used to do a lot of career coaching. I often advised people, "A first impression is a lasting impression." That seems like appropriate advice for this topic.

Looking at this from a different angle:

If we were to meet a couple we really liked, found them interesting to talk to, felt like we could really enjoy their company in the bedroom, felt them to be compatible in every way........and the reason they would decide not to see us again is because I dressed shabbily and made a poor impression when just a little extra effort on my part would have made the difference..........shame on me for the missed opportunity.

If it's just a meet, dress as if you and your spouse or date are just going. Be classy. You want to make a positive impression and not stand out. It's not hard.

"I'll actually go through their profile and look at what they are wearing in their photos lol."

That's actually not a bad idea at all for setting your minimum. Checking their photos and dressing to match, or maybe one notch above. I tend to dress fairly casual (despite what's in my photos, no t-shirts, not THAT casual), but I also accessorize. One silver ring that I made about 20 years ago that has some sentimental value, and a good mid-level watch, usually a Seiko Presage or one of my microbuilder chronograph or diver's watches. Yeah, watch collecting is one of my joys, expensive hobby though.

Our initial meets are always in public settings of mutual convenience, typically a mid-range restaurant (somewhere between "fast food" and "white tablecloth"). We'll dress so that you would not pick us out just "looking over the crowd". Mrs. FL will almost always wear a blouse and tailored slacks; I'll be in a collared shirt and slacks. A closer look might suggest that the clothes fit well, shoes are polished, accessories are coordinated, and jewelry is tasteful-- in other words, we are "put together" individually and as a couple. We are not wearing logo shirts, religious medals, etc. If there is something that stand out--for example Mrs. FL is wearing a pin or brooch, it's an invitation for someone to say "what a lovely...whatever" because there is a backstory to it.
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We have been turned off when we’ve met under dressed couples. Not looking for club wear when meeting at a pub for a drink on an initial meet. But wear a sports logo hoodie? Hard to get the that image out of our heads.

We try to look fuckabke.

Always dress to impress.. always. If it works out clothes coming off within the hour!

For "us" first impressions mean everything!

Comfort is of the essence for lifestyle events. But if you intend to get naked as part of the play, you will become comfy at some point. We tend to dress up one notch or so, since we enjoy that. We've been to a lot of LS parties in the post covid era where many are in fuzzy PJs or worse.

Guys: We recommend you dress up one notch or more. Women do notice your appearance, attention to grooming detail, and manners. Put together men are noticed for the right reasons.

I get and stay cold easily, so it's likely to be leggings and a sweater. Is it sexy? No, but neither is shivering. Even when it's warm out, I make no particular effort to sex it up. Basically I dress well in comfortable, somewhat stylish clothing that I'd wear for vanilla meetings too.

Don't over-think it - sounds like you've got a grip on what to wear.

It's summer - a pretty sundress for her and slacks & a shirt for him should be fine (dress slacks & shirt or khakis & polo will depend on casualness of venue).

So what do you wear on a first meet? After years in the lifestyle, I still struggle with this. Obviously the venue is a factor, whether you're meeting a single or a couple, yes I'm aware of all the obvious factors. But what else? I'll actually go through their profile and look at what they are wearing in their photos lol.