93 total posts. Showing the most recent 92.
My understanding is that one has to be paid for sex, or make an arrangement to be paid for sex, to be charged with prostitution. Assuming only the organizer of the party is being paid, they are the only ones who could conceivably run afoul…
[quote=unlike_your_ex][quote=entirelyreal]My late husband and I were swingers the entire time we were together. I won't even meet men with no Lifestyle experience. I've tried and it's a waste of time even if they tick my other boxes. It's…
“heard SMs say that if it was his wife, she wouldn't be swinging” These hypocrites don't belong anywhere near the LIfestyle. They will condescend to fuck us but they don't respect us. This is not the Pussy Dollar Store for men who should b…
My late husband and I were swingers the entire time we were together. I won't even meet men with no Lifestyle experience. I've tried and it's a waste of time even if they tick my other boxes. It's not my entire existence, but I do host par…
Hard agree on unsolicited dick photos: don't. When men ask me if they should post a cock photo I advise them to include one in their gallery as long as it's a nice cock. I said include ONE among other photos that show his body and possibly…
I won't lie, being good looking and carrying a big stick are serious advantages. But a man can go a long way by being a good guy who is polite, reliable and a good conversationalist. If a woman or couple is looking for a hottie with 8 inch…
If you have friends with good social skills who know a lot of people and can introduce you, then go with them but don't stick to them like glue. Otherwise go by yourself. As a single woman, I would never approach a group of single guys. Pr…
If I am considering people as party guests I need to see body photos that show what they look like. Single males have to show me they don't have microdicks. Face photos are optional. If I am considering meeting someone for a 1:1 date I wan…
Every one of my parties has a few 20somethings and also a few people over 70. The bulk are between early 40s and early 60s. If you are finding "mostly" young people I'm not sure why. SLS in particular skews older because you have to pay fo…
Certs are one piece of information I weigh among many but I do consider them to be a significant plus. It indicates someone else has met this person and liked them enough to go to the trouble. If multiple people did that it is unlikely to…
I've been saying for decades that a kinky retirement home would make a fortune. Fuck shuffleboard, we have a dungeon and a orgy room. Clothing optional pool. Given the gender differential in long term survival, we bus in young men on Satur…
We just hosted our first all-bi party. I was really careful to segregate the guest list from my larger list. I think I had about half a dozen males and couples (on fetlife not here) ask me to keep them off the public RSVP lists but the ove…
I have male friends who say it changed their lives. Get your levels checked and if it would benefit you go for it.
I remember very fondly some all-bi parties I used to attend in Maryland that were balls-to-the-wall crazy fun. I'd like to recreate that. It's not hard to find single bi males but it is difficult to find couples and single women who are in…
I remember very fondly some all-bi parties I used to attend in Maryland that were balls-to-the-wall crazy fun. I'd like to recreate that. It's not hard to find single bi males but it is difficult to find couples and single women who are in…
Based on my experience a year ago my advice is to temper expectations. It's like an off-premise club. A lot of youngish, and some not so young, couples who are there to feel naughty. Only a small percentage are actually serious swingers. T…
You are paying for access to the party, not the resort. Based only on the food, facilities, etc., of course it's overpriced. But then I think ALL all-inclusives are ridiculously overpriced. Hedo is the ONLY place I would pay those prices .…
Was there leprosy involved?
It's one factor to evaluate along with the quality of the profile. Someone with certs is at least somewhat more likely to be real. I would say it's especially useful for a single male.
I laugh pretty hard at men who not only post nothing except a cock photo ... but then go on to post 15 slightly different ones. Seriously, very few penises are all that remarkable and even if it is I don't need to see as many angles as the…
In the 1990s, when altplayground was THE site for the DC metro area, I was one of the ringleaders of a group of single women (and women playing solo) who exchanged reviews and intel. We had a database. A man who was well reviewed would get…
Mayhem nailed the transgressive psychology of it. I know that when I enjoy it that's a big part of why. My body has to be cooperative that day and isn't always. And interestingly I enjoyed anal MUCH more after having a baby and I'm not sur…
If you get a message from someone with no photos on their profile, and your profile has public photos, I think it's entirely reasonable to ask for a photo in your reply.
Try looking for women your age or older who are in the LS but might be interested in actually dating you. That lets you bring something to the table that has nothing to do with your physical attributes. You will probably do better as half…
My husband and I were swingers for the whole 14 years we were together. After he died, I asked myself if I wanted to stay involved and it took about five seconds to decide that I did.
The men who post 12 dick photos and nothing else make me laugh. I laugh even harder if it's small.
You are all right about why this wouldn't work. People would give themselves false ratings, people would give bad ratings for silly/vindictive reasons. The group I was a part of worked so well because it was a group of women who knew each…
I love kissing when I'm into the person. However, there have been times when I just fucked someone (or many someones) at a party purely for sport, maybe with little or no preliminary. I usually do NOT want to kiss someone who I have grabbe…
When I was swinging as a couple I liked both for different reasons. I always enjoyed watching my husband but separate rooms was more intimate and more of a novel opportunity to really explore someone new.
6-8 inches, thick, attached to someone interesting.
This would end up subject to petty vendettas and scamming and a headache for the website. Such a thing has to be privately held to work and really has to be focused on a local area, both to make it more useful and to make it manageable. Ma…
If a woman is in a swinging situation it is likely she has enough experience to understand that penises get larger when they get hard. Granted, they don't get smaller, so a guy who starts off large might have something of an advantage when…
My hypothesis is that couples roughly his age won't have a big problem with it, might see the opportunity to play with a younger woman as a bonus, but young couples will see it differently. Think of it from the perspective of the woman in…
For starters, be honest in your profile about being married. Someone who responds to it and then finds out is not going to be pleased, and this may cost you the interest of someone who will walk away because they feel lied to. I know I for…
Another couple joins the hordes who think they will find a unicorn to fulfill their fantasy. There are few single women who want this, and you are statistically unlikely to be the successful exception. Your profile is all about what you wa…
@ronkathy The number of trans women who want to compete in sports on a serious level is vanishingly small, and nobody would go through a gender identity transition for that reason. That would be insane. Do you really think someone would ta…
Oh and Blue Cross covers it 100%.
I am going to add my experience, which has been profound. I had taken HRT right after menopause and it made me feel better, boosted my libido a bit and reduced my mood swings. But I lost my insurance for a few months and when I wanted to r…
By the way, the word is "discreet." I am a professional writer and this drives me nuts. "Discrete" is a completely different word with a totally unrelated meaning. It's like saying "He is boulder than me." Makes educated people think you a…
It is a supply and demand situation. Many couples want this but there are far fewer single women in the LS and they aren't all interested in couples. On a given night at a party I might go for it but if I am making time to meet someone it'…
@wkendfun: There are individuals who somehow manage to obtain advanced degrees without being very smart but there is a definite correlation between education and intellect. Educated people are also far more likely to be tolerant of sexual…
When I hosted parties I absolutely had a list and blacklisted anyone who misbehaved. I also reported egregious behavior to other party hosts.
I got a message today from a man whose profile has multiple photos of a gorgeous woman (allegedly his wife) and NONE of him. He offered to send me photos on Kik. I told him that posting photos only of his wife is a red flag, and sexist and…
My position on this has changed radically in the past few years. I was dictatorial about condoms for penetration for most of my LS participation, would actually throw men out of my parties for not using them. But the situation has changed.…
There are definitely a lot of shades in sexual orientation and it's sometimes difficult to choose between the binary of "straight" and "bisexual." I play with women in a group setting and have very occasionally done so 1:1, but I'm romanti…
@mayhem Thank you again for saying this. A man who tells me he wouldn't share me if I were "his" gets quite a response from me, and it doesn't involve my pussy. When I was hosting parties, that was enough to get him blacklisted forever. As…
I always advise newbies to start with a big swingers' club. This may sound counterintuitive, but a big club is anonymous and there is zero pressure. It is very easy to just watch, or just go in a room and play with each other in that excit…
@ionsawmill I knew long before we were married. For us getting married didn't really change our relationship, we did it for legal/practical reasons. I told him about my previous experience at a swingers' club after our second date. His res…
@ionsawmill Do you think your neighbors would "look out for you" if they knew who you are? I'd just as soon have zero contact with my neighbors, even though I live in Fairfax County VA, which in many years has the highest average education…
When I was married I enjoyed an occasional separate-room thing. It's kind of like having a 1:1 date, more intimate. But mostly it was same room and I certainly did not worry that my partner was having too much fun! I loved watching him fuc…
There are several parties in the DC area that are explicitly bi-friendly and some clubs and parties that advertise that on certain nights. I favor them because I like watching men play and I tend to really like bi men. A few weeks ago, I f…
My husband was doing it long before he met me. He told me his first experience happened when he was approached at a rest area and thought "What the hell, why not?" The guy sucked his cock and he thought it would be interesting to try it. H…
You need to communicate. Every couple in the Lifestyle has to decide on their boundaries and ground rules. What about these interactions is bothering you? That she is kissing men rather than just mechanically fucking? That strikes me as un…
When I was part of a couple we would invite people to our house after meeting at a bar or party. Real names didn't get exchanged unless/until we hit it off and wanted to be social. I felt safe with my husband around. As a single woman the…
@onehorneywife: What on earth is the chemical/medical name of this wonder drug? I want what she's having.
Esperanza, there are some things about polyamory you misunderstand. A poly relationship does not "begin with a monogamous couple." Once they embark on polyamory they are no longer monogamous. I do agree that a couple who became a couple wi…
There are a lot of relationship paradigms under the banner of "polyamory." I'd say triads are relatively rare. A primary relationship where both parties also have other relationships is the most common in my personal experience and that de…
I expect the proportion of men in the LS who use ED drugs is upwards of 60%. I know plenty of young men who take it for parties so they can stay hard all night. Nobody will even blink, they would be surprised if a guy your age was NOT usin…
Listen to the OP, guys. At a party with a lot of open play, you might once in a while succeed by asking someone to play out of the blue, but you are mostly going to do a lot better by starting with typical cocktail party conversation. Get…
I think it's due to male bi interest becoming less stigmatized. My late husband was bi and back then it was a problem for a lot of people. It still is in some cases, but much less than it used to be. Some of these guys are probably explori…
I think you are highly unlikely to attract another couple unless it is explicitly a situation where she plays with them and you watch. Look at it from the other woman's perspective: she is giving more than she is getting in this exchange a…
I read that as a couple saying "we are picky about single men." Its specific meaning is vague. They could be referring to looks, attitude or both. A single man who is less attractive than the couple he is considering is unlikely to succeed…
Yes, it's weird. You are not wrong. There are dynamics on the other end you aren't privy to. And if he wanted a second go he should have asked himself.
I apologize for assuming someone who says they are not a Republican understands which party actively encourages racists. It's usually a fair assumption.
I couldn't agree more. A single guy who says he wouldn't want to share his girlfriend or is hanging around the lifestyle until he finds a "serious" relationship is a huge turnoff. Fuck them. No, actually, don't.
Hedo is the one example where not booking directly is better. The groups who book multiple rooms get a better rate and there are sometimes perks. You should always look for groups who are booking at the time you want to go. If you want a l…
@grtguy: the message you posted is very polite and I think deserves a response ... unless you wrote to couples whose profile says they aren't looking for single men, or who stated a preference that doesn't include you for some other reason.
That is something of a philosophical question. My personal answer is "it depends." A single who is interested in engaging with couples or moresomes and/or going to parties and events is a swinger, especially if they have some experience an…
I thought you were confused and opted to charitably pretend you weren't. To address what you were apparently saying, Joe Biden certainly has some dubious moments in his past but he does not now support racists or racist policies. He has le…
Unsolicited cock photos. Corollary: posting nothing but cock photos. Wanna fuck? I'd like to pound you, I love your tits, etc, etc. as an opening line. Please desist. Messaging every female on the site randomly. Please read profiles, note…
I have experienced some uncut cocks over the years where the foreskin is really tight, with a small opening, and the head doesn't come through all the way. I find that actively unpleasant to suck on and kinda icky. If the foreskin retracts…
@necouple I don't know if he is actually a racist or just uses it cynically to gain the support of racists. I don't know that he cares that much about anything but self aggrandizement. Either way, it is horrifying to note that his racism i…
If I am meeting someone privately (i.e. not at a party or event) I'll exchange phone numbers for logistical reasons. I have a Google Voice number for this purpose. Someone doesn't get my "real" number until I've met them, and possibly for…
For my first 30 years in the Lifestyle I never asked potential playmates about politics. It would not have occurred to me. One of my closest friends is a Republican. Things have changed radically in the past six years, however. This has go…
I agree 100% with the advice to go to a club. It may seem counterintuitive but there is way less pressure at a big club with a lot of people and a lot of spaces, public and private. You will meet a lot of people and see play happening and…
I look at the profile of pretty much anyone who writes to me and respond to anything that isn't insulting. Sometimes I respond to those, too, and it isn't pretty. If someone deletes the message unread I imagine it is because they are not i…
I can't believe the shit people are giving this guy who is actually trying to do a nice thing! He wants a partner in the Lifestyle, unlike the millions of guys who just want a warm place to put their cocks for 10 minutes. If you want a Lif…
I am looking for SMs, hoping to find a few I can develop ongoing friendships with. A dating or hookup site isn't going to do me much good because I've learned that men with no LS experience are not a match for me. I am way, way too much. I…
They lie because it increases their chances of getting laid. As simple as that. Average is a little over 5 inches for white men, somewhat larger for black men. Remember, "average" means about half are smaller. And there are really small co…
@hotluvrs OMG yes. When I hosted parties, I would immediately move to the "do not invite" list men who espoused that attitude. Single women in the lifestyle may or may not be interested in finding a long term partner but certainly do not w…
The only thing they will listen to is a drop in revenue. If you are not a lifetime member, cancel and tell them why.
If the mail doesn't come back I'll stop coming back, lifetime membership or not. This is ridiculous. Maybe the owners will listen when their revenue drops, which it will.
I have a lifetime account but I probably won't bother coming on here any more without a mail function.
In the Lifestyle, single males always pay. They are legion and couples who want to play with them are not. That may seem unfair, but it is reality. If you won't pay, the couple can easily find someone who will. However, if the couple plans…
Your profile says nothing whatsoever about you. All it does is make generic sexual statements that could be made by 99% of the men here. There are also grammatical errors throughout, which make you sound unintelligent. And there are too ma…
Those critiques are not wrong but don't even mention what jumped out at me. I cannot tell from what you wrote whether you are married or single and what you are looking for. Relationship(s)? Play only? Is BDSM an essential component for yo…
Everyone is right about photos. You need some. They don't have to be face photos; I've never sent anyone a face photo in 30 years of swinging. But you do have to show what you look like. I want to comment on what you did right, however. Yo…
My late husband was bi and we played 95% together. I enjoyed watching. Not only did I enjoy watching him receiving pleasure in whatever form, but this had a higher than average "nastiness" factor which was a plus in my pervy mind. We did a…
Bear in mind that there is no benefit for a single woman in being your "swinging partner." It gets you through doors but she can already go anywhere she wants. If you hang in there and get out in the community you may make some female frie…
May 2019.
When my late husband was still with me, we corresponded with a guy who claimed to be large, used "Mr. Big" as his handle. Well, as you can guess, he turned out to be not even "Mr. Average" but "Mr. Painfully Small." We fucked in front of h…
I'm a veteran swinger (my late husband and I were swingers the whole time we were together) and I'm definitely interested in finding a like-minded long term partner. I have a number of girlfriends who have found a guy in the lifestyle and…
