So I'm a married guy out here and on AM, in an LTR of 40 years. I love my wife, and am committed to her. She has lost most interest in sex a while ago - 15 years or so. I twsn to be the romantic, the pleaser anyway. I have been fortunate to find just a few women over the years in the same scenario, sexless marriage with their husband. We navigated through the being discrete part well. Maybe I've just been lucky. But I've always sought to please first. It's lovely when a couple still really enjoys the physical part of their relationship. It's a real celebration. But, as I'm finding, there are plenty of us on both sides of M&F that still have needs to connect physically and mentally with an actively involved partner... So here some of us are.
SF with married guys
Women are the ones that run the lifestyle women are the ones that say yes or no. Can't imagine it the other way around all us females would all be screwed we have the first say as I was taught many years ago.
@Loveme Single female here heck no I would not put myself in a Solo married man single female scenario.. I make like Forest Gump and run run from couples. Sounds as though too much drama and toxic relationship.
No. No way. That behavior is just rude. I'm a single male, and just like a husband told me after I was playing with his wife 'you gotta bring something to the table.' That man did not reach out, did not make a connection, just put his dick up. WTF. You have to seduce, period. He's got a very nice wife, but she's gotta go looking for a better man.
That is a bit strange. We make sure we all meet together. I the husband tend to do the communication and also 3 way text or phone calls before and after follow up making sure we are all on board and want to move forward. After sex I/we follow up with thank yous good or bad. Common curiosity.
I agree with everyone, seems & sounds odd, don't appear to have been a good experience for you. I couldn't imagine not thanking a lady for her time & effort to participate in the situation. Hope you have better future experiences. I hate to say it, but these the type of guys that make it hard for others when we come along, I've heard it all too often, unfortunately.
Being a male I cannot imagine that I would not thank the lady for her time and regardless of how the session turned out, I would suggest that she was the best love diva I was privileged to be with for that last decade. I surely would suggest the next time (frankly, we are all different. The first time may not be a great time just because it is the first time) and if she was the great diva I would try to get a commitment for the date and time. I surely would leave my number.
Yes, we encountered a guy who simply said "I am done" and walked away. There are all kinds of rude people. It took my girlfriend weeks to forget that one.
Long discussions about all kinds of things will prevent these situations when the guy treats the lady like a mug of beer not needing a second one. Very sad when it happens to you.
Then I have to agree.
That was weird.
All plausible but not in this instance. I had met them both at a M&G and we have mutual LS friends. So this was definitely her. Plus I knew she had surgery, what kind and how long the recuperation would be. Again, mutual friends. All legit. So nothing nefarious. It was as I presented it.
And, as others, and I, have said, there won’t be a second time. The purpose of my post was, I guess, to understand the dynamics of playing solo with a married guy and how that manifests in the communication. From what I’ve read here, this was an exception rather than the rule.
Though I wouldn’t be opposed to couples weighing in on how they communicate with single partners.
~LMK~
Are you sure there were two of them?
Any chance he was pretending to be the wife?
I'm just wondering if he is a single that uses the wife searching for him as a trick.
Could also be she is trying to get rid of him.." not tonight dear, I just had surgery. What about this woman?"
Yes, it's weird. You are not wrong. There are dynamics on the other end you aren't privy to. And if he wanted a second go he should have asked himself.
LMK, the weird communication thing just sounds super weird.
It used to be guys I met with their partners at parties or meet and greets, but since 2107 it's almost always been guys contacting me online. I tend to trust my instincts (and that they have certs on their couples' profiles), but if they stick around past my three times and you're out limit (which means I like them, the sex is good, and I didn't get bored), then I meet their wives. It doesn't happen often.
GGMM Oh girl. Make no mistake. I knew there wouldn’t be a second date the minute he walked out of my door. A few nights later, I was having dinner with a gf and she asked how my date went. I said, “what date?” I literally had forgotten about it.
Two separate things though. The act itself and the subsequent communication. Or lack thereof. Regardless, I’m clearly done with them.
But since your preference is married guys, how do you generally communicate with one or both?
~LMK~
It doesn't matter whether you're right or wrong, you didn't enjoy it and there are waaaay too many opportunities available to go for try #2 with someone who didn't do it for you socially or sexually.
I prefer married guys, but I'd bail on this one. At a guess, they have rules for his solo play that weren't disclosed to you, which is kinda creepy.
The whole scenario seems pretty odd. The unremarkable sex part is enough to pass on a second try.
LMK.. Yes some just have no class at all or any manners in life!
Check them off your do not invite list !
By the way " Happy New Year"!
You’re not wrong. That’s definitely strange…. And ZERO class. Move on. NEXT….. BTW, you’re cute and SEXY AF
I recently had (what I think was) an odd experience. Let me know your thoughts. I’ll preface this by saying I’m a SF, bi comfortable in certain situations but definitely not a unicorn.
Wife posts on a FB group I follow that she’s recently had surgery, will be recovering for a while, and would anyone be interested in keeping hubby entertained? I thought he was super cute so I message her. We then get in a three way chat on Messenger. All good, so far. As we’re planning the day and time, he says very little. All planning is with her.
Day arrives and, again, all messaging is 3 way. Even how far out he is, where I’m sitting in restaurant etc. Still odd but I’m ok with it. We meet for lunch first. We decide to go play. It was….unremarkable. But fine. Not terrible but certainly not really memorable.
He leaves, and an hour later, the wife messages me (still on the chat that includes him) how much fun he had, thank you so much, next time she wants to join, blah blah. Never heard directly from him. Not even a “thanks, had a great time” on the chat. Nothing.
I’ve heard that husbands often negotiate and plan for their wives. But I feel like the wives have some input at some point during the process. To me, this was very transactional and off-putting. Makes me want to stick with SMs (which is my preference anyway) and leave the married guys to their full swaps or whatever.
To be clear, I don’t care about the three way chat. I understand they’re being transparent with each other. That’s their business. What bothered me was he never addressed me directly afterwards. Not even in the chat.
OK you get the gist. Am I wrong for thinking that was just rude and classless? Or am I just being over sensitive?
~LMK~