Meaning of Select Single Men

I've found it means men that they've met before and are respectful and perform well. Men they can count on to not be assholes or have performance anxiety around others.

Thanks, we have joined a few groups here, now of to the events page.

Twohearts - do you check the "events" section?
You can check hot dates, clubs, parties all in the same section.
Also, have you tried joining groups?
Some groups only notify members of the group of house parties.
Go to the group section and join the ones you like in your area.

Twohearts....There are tons of house parties out there in every town. You'll find them. Sls has been very good to us in this regard.

Thanks for the advise. We definately spoke about it already. Nina is looking forwaard to finding a house party as we feel more comfortable interacting with folks in-person. Thanks for the tip about parties being posted. We must be doing something wrong with this site since we haven't seen anything posted in our area (Boston). We are an easy learn when it comes to ettiquette. We learned the flow of the resort we attend pretty easy si I guess a house party can't be that much harder.

Twohearts, usually House parties are posted in your area no invite is necessary unless it's very private. Thanks for the look emoji wink.. if you are new to this lifestyle know that there is etiquette and no it doesn't come naturally. Discuss things with your wife before you get to the party or event.

Oh my... if we are ever fortunate enough to get invited to a house party we'll have to bring our lawyer, stylist, life coach, and 7th grade English teacher with us.

LOL ...There is no swinger etiquette in the lifestyle no more! And this goes for everyone interesting how everyone picks on the single man.. how about couples let's talk about couples grabbing without asking couples fighting in-house parties. Husbands trying to make their wives bisexual in House Parties?

I've counseled plenty young people in their early twenties most don't even know what etiquette is majority of them laugh because they think this lifestyle is a free for all.. I know this is off topic but geez!!

Twohearts- a rehash of things you should know in a polite society.
The club has private rooms with a curtain and a rope across the door. You can choose how much involvement people can have with you. Rope down you can enter and ask to play. Rope up, you can watch but not enter. Curtain open you can watch. Curtain closed you can't watch.
One of the rules is, and they repeat it when they give new people a tour, if you open a curtain or peak around a curtain, you get thrown out.
They didn't need to explain to me what a closed curtain meant, but I am guessing they have thrown a lot of single guys out , based on the fact they wrote that rule down, and require you to read it and explain it again on the tour.

Twohearts: We feel your disbelief. We've been to house parties where they have an "orientation" session, and one with a paper release form. Both seem ridiculous to us, but some single guys and some couples, just don't get the lifestyle, etiquette, nor possess the ability to chat/ask/engage properly with a lady in particular. We try to vet guys via chat, some non-challant questions, and key indicators. These usually get rid of the cheaters, poseurs, and downright immature guys. If you don't have some gates, bad actors will slip in. The best swinger's party in Washington DC was essentially ruined and shadow-banned by the city due to violence and patron complaints perpetrated by non-swingers who slipped into big parties and acted up. It's a shame because that was where we got our swinger start and we really miss that party. No one has been able to replace the vibe, sexiness, and fun that party fostered.

OMG, a multi-page list of rules? What was some of the items on that list? Was it really specific stuff or just rehash of things you would expect folks to know in polite society?

Meaning of Select single men a while back I attended a house party up in the Tampa area. The Host hired some College football players I would say under the age of 25 they were well hung and we're on Viagra/ Cialis all night long they were very good looking muscular dressed very well and beautiful dark skin.

" Single men are very much desired in the lifestyle, probably now more than I've ever seen. But the poor behavior of many single guys is the cause of their lack of success."

Yeah, no.

I finally got it.
90 % of single men behave in ways I would never dream of, so I didn't understand the need to say "select".
As I have mentioned before, I recently attended my first swing club/private party. I had to request to be invited and one of the requirements to get invited was to read and agree to the rules. One set of club rules for everyone and a whole page of rules just for single men. I couldn't belive they needed to write these down. But obviously, they had a problem with guys doing these things and with guys not reading the rules, or they wouldn't have written them down and required guys to acknowledge they read them.

I believe a lot has to do with upbringing. My generation was taught to be polite respectful and when meeting a woman to dress nicel take a shower and use deodorant. Many younger guys now a days don't seem to have that standard of being respectful.

Having really positively stepped into the single guy dating/playing/fwbs aspect of the lifestyle, I think we can comment with some accuracy here.

Select single men are few and far between. Let's put aside the physical attributes and play preferences for a moment, since everyone has a different idea of their "perfect" guy friend.

What couples mean by "select single men" is defined by the following list: possesses good manners and is a true gentleman, thoughtful but not overbearing with the lady, shows up on time, dresses appropriately for the occasion and venue, exceptional cleanliness and hygiene, and appropriate conduct for the couple/lady and their mutual desires.

If men in the lifestyle would follow these guides, they'd be so much more successful in bed and in friendships with couples and ladies. We feel blessed that we have found a few of these in our lifestyle journey, and the results have been wonderful. But we have "kissed a lot of frogs" to get there.

Single men are very much desired in the lifestyle, probably now more than I've ever seen. But the poor behavior of many single guys is the cause of their lack of success.

I'd treat it as if they were a straight man and not interested in dudes. Or your average woman on a dating app... also not interested in dudes.

entirelyreal - I was referring to a club , social or house party.
In a profile, I kind of get it. They just mean they are a lot more selective with single men than with couples.
But at a club, social or house party, I would rather they say what they are not looking for.
In other words, if they are not going to let single guys in over a certain age or dressed like they live on a park bench, why not just list the age limit and say you must be dressed to impress .
The only reason why I asked was the few socials and parties I looked at said they would accept select single men. But they can't possibly accept everyone. One was a private party in a club that was open to the public at the same time. So I assume you have to meet whatever criteria the club has. I have never seen a club that lets everyone in. I would hate to travel 100 miles just to find out I'm too old. Or don't have the body of a Greek god. I was just wondering what you had to do to get into the select group and why they don't post who is not getting in.

If you have to be told about what select is at your age..well sorry its on you again.. it is not someone in sloppy pants and shirts.

We always dress to impress and expect those who we invite to our bed to do same.. and yes had those who showed up in overalls and flip flops.. not happening!

We both want that extra something that we look for in all couples and singles! Of course we have had this conversation already and well just keep on doing you and let us know how it goes next year.

I read that as a couple saying "we are picky about single men." Its specific meaning is vague. They could be referring to looks, attitude or both. A single man who is less attractive than the couple he is considering is unlikely to succeed with them whether that word is in their profile or not. That is reality.

A lot of parties will limit the number of single men to a predetermined number, so that may be another definition.

Many are called but few are chosen... I read that somewhere.

PhoebertAndWife- I was referring to group and club advertising but I suppose it applies to profiles as well.
If I ever hosted a party or was looking for a single guy, I would just post what I was looking for. Age , height, weight, race, etc.
If I say "select", then I have to read through a lot of emails that are the wrong age, height, weight, race, etc.
I just saw several posts for socials that had no posted restrictions on single men. Just said " select". They can't possibly consider every guy that contacts them. I assume they get a lot more single men than couples . I was just wondering if it had a meaning, or if they really do consider every guy and are just letting you know that not everyone will get invited.

Ronkathy- I have to be realistic.
"Select " is not a description or limit. Age, height, weight, race are all things a person will post in a profile and it is obvious what they mean.
If you are twice as old as thriver limit, don't waste your time trying.
"Select " doesn't say what would get you to be not selected.
I'm not negative, I'm a realist.

Are you asking about that phrase in profiles or in group or club advertising?

It's slightly different in every case (profiles will have more individualized meanings) but usually it has nothing to do with looks and everything to do with attitude and personality.

Why is everything so negative with all you posts, select men , clothes, woman, etc etc in your posts..shall we go on ?

Enjoy swinging with a positive attitude does wonders... or yes you will be just one disgruntled guy on SLS !

Yes most couples here do have some sort of standards to get in ones bed.. including in vanilla life! But we have been through this same conversation weeks ago! Just you be you .. but obviously it bugs you that people have standards in ones life .