Do SMs Want SFs?

As Oscar Wilde observed, the only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it....

I am tempted to open our profile to single men just so that I can specifically block you.

And you, Mr Esperanza, are not straight. No straight man would talk that much about bisexuality unless he were bi himself. Sounds like bi-erasure to me.

But wait a minute, Sorillo! How dare you tell someone you've never met what their sexuality is! And accusing them of bi-erasure?! Beyond the pale!

I'm being facetious of course, the only person who can define Mr Esperanza's sexuality is Mr Esperanza. In a perfect world, Mr Esperanza would show others the same courtesy. But we live in a fallen world. sigh

P.S. You are not bisexual.

The swing lifestyle is, generally, about going outside of the traditional marriage expectations regarding sex. It's no wonder to me that SMs are interested in couples.

I do find it odd that there are so many SFs here who list as bi, but have no interest in actually getting with women or a couple where the woman is bi.

Loads of SF profiles say BI , and then go on to talk about the huge cock they want. There's a lot of stuff that makes NO sense here.

Singles seeking singles for no strings sex... isn't that what Tinder and Bumble are for? Why here?

“Appearance is more important for women in the Swing Lifestyle..."

We all know that 3 people having sex is a threesome, and 2 people having sex is a twosome.

Am I misunderstanding why so many people call me handsome?

LMK: Thanks for the insight from a SF (unicorn) perspective. "Not to beat a dead horse" but my in-person meet n greet success is 100X better than my online presence. The eye test and personality connection can't really be appreciated thru a key-board or photos (IMO). LMK ... as always my soul-mates are always 2000+ miles away !!! Enjoy your SLS journey!!

Mayhem: Bingo! Although attraction is key, that doesn’t necessarily translate into traditional “beauty” standards… for men or women. I’ve had Ken dolls who have left me achingly unsatisfied. And average looking (by society standards) guys who have blown me away and have me begging for more. The older I get, the less I care about physical beauty and more about cerebral connection.

As for getting “hundreds” or whatever, messages from SMs, I’ll admit when I first joined, it was very overwhelming. Fresh meat and all. But I don’t receive nearly that number anymore. Under 10 a day or so. And many are rude or unintelligible. Easy to weed out the idiots from the quality guys. And there are definitely quality guys out there. So please don’t let perceived number bias discourage contact.

~LMK~

"Appearance is more important for women in the Swing Lifestyle..."

Something else that I expect is apparent is that a pretty guy that can't perform has little value for LS women, other than maybe eye candy.

" Appearance is more important for women in the Swing Lifestyle as job, money, kids and future stuff is not important..."

A rather obvious, but often glossed over point.

I find that trying to reach out to SF (Unicorns) on this SLS site is useless. A Unicorn friend of mine told me that she gets an min of 50+ messages here a day from SM or couples. How can anyone sort thru that daily? She also mentioned that the number of SM on this site is Huge!! With that said SM's would need a SF to reach out to them direct or meet at a SLS party or event (IMO).

“I am way way too much “

And I am way more than that.

I am looking for SMs, hoping to find a few I can develop ongoing friendships with. A dating or hookup site isn't going to do me much good because I've learned that men with no LS experience are not a match for me. I am way, way too much. I've had some success though I'm still looking. :)

Particularly, this isn't a site for NSA fun or FWB. What you are looking for seems to be found on a hook up or dating site. If this was a man asking for this, he would be easily rebuked by couples and told to look somewhere else. Ironically.

As TravelVeteran mentioned, most single women are not looking for single men online but are highly receptive in person. Same goes for couples, who are not trying to be bombarded by single men filling up their inboxes.

So if you're looking to connect, attend your local meet ups and parties. Initiate contact with the men you want to play with and plan accordingly.

Many single men don't approach single women online because of the stigma. Most single female profiles express the desire to play with couples and other women, leaving little interest in single men. By the numbers, it is more likely for a single male to connect with a couple than with a single female, so men will choose that option more frequently to better their odds of playing.

On top of that, single women have the tendency to require standards and guidelines for single men that they don't uphold for couples and single ladies.

Appearance is more important for women in the Swing Lifestyle as job, money, kids and future stuff is not important...

I'm just getting back into the LS but This is how it was when I was in it before. Most interaction was with couples and singles the interaction between singles was almost nonexistent. Even though most members posted that they were up for singles they usually gravitated towards couples until parties and clubs.

As one who was married in the lifestyle and now a SM in the lifestyle, I have met SFs on this site. I would agree with R&K that pictures are a must, so is a profile that is worthy of reading. I also believe that SFs are inundated with the bad SM players thinking this site is a meat market.

Bottom line when I reach out to anyone on this site, I do so respectfully with the understanding that I have actually read and understand the person's profile As a rule I don't look at the gallery pictures without first reading the profile, it solves a lot of embarrassment (i.e. SM reachhng out to a SF who is not interested in SMs).

Being a paid member of this site does not guarantee you will meet up with anyone, you have to do the work, be respectful, and be yourself!

I agree with a prior post. I find SF (aka Unicorns) to be Much more receptive at SLS events or parties (meet n greet) with SM... I feel online SLS contact that SF are overwhelmed with messages or creepy profiles. One SF (Unicorn) told me she gets 70+ messages per day!! Is this typical for SF in the lifestyle?

By far I find SLS meet n greets, party or club event contact with SF works best for me!!! I mostly use the SLS site for events or lifestyle info.

Steve... so we are wondering maybe it is because no one can see any photos of you.. yes you are on a swing site so for "us" the chemistry starts with your profile and nice photos!

We dont care if you are a single guy, woman, or couple we will not consider you at all if we do not see some photos especially ones with some smiles!

What, no swing clubs in Reno? not even Sacramento??? Gillagus in Reno was so fun, couples only however, in a bar with a large back room for swinging on Sat. nights, not sure if still around..So much fucking was going on...Everyone there was there to fuck...chat in the bar area, fuck in the back room...

There is really no way to tell who likes who. I look for single women who want single men. I have been on two sites with very little success. As one woman said to me is that you have to go to clubs to meet people and I have had more success doing this. I have met some very nice people. All of the clubs but one are gone due to business decline.

Agree with the observation Travel Vet mentioned regarding Single Women being nearly impossible online but very receptive in-person.

Couples are not necessarily what I am looking for on SLS. Met a couple of couples, but primarily I am looking for a single female. Definitely find more open minded/adventurous people here than on Match lol

“ profiles will specifically say couples only, or they will actually block Single Males. But get them to a party, and all of a sudden Single Males are just fine.”

Yup, that’s us.