Responding to emails

"We always put as much effort into our response as the other party does in the initial message."

I like that.

2MuchFunClub2:

Yes! We do that as well. Another fun thing we like to do is if the message has no punctuation, is written in text speak, or has typos, we'll include the same in any reply.

At this point, my most used response to emails is “Have you read my profile? Really? The whole thing?”

If we don't find someone attractive, I have no issues telling them. We don't usually say that when saying no, but there was one time that I remember there were some emails back and forth, the profile seemed like a good match and then after they opened their pics we had to say no. It took a bit to find the best way to say it without purposely being hurtful.

I virtually always respond, even with a polite no thank you. And despite the SM stereotype, I've had several SFs give me that "why?" whining and hostility as well. People are people, and they're capable of being whiny bitches, no matter what kind of genitalia they're sporting between their legs.

The percentage of people who respond negatively when I've given them the answer to the question no one should ever ask - Whyyyyy did you saaaayyyyy nooooooo?????? - is pretty high. I particularly appreciate being called a bitch, which I'm pleased to report hardly ever happens with anyone under 30.

Sometimes, when we do respond with a "no, but thank you for the interest" type response, it literally just invites non-stop additional messages. We have one very young SM we politely said no thanks to based on his age, and then gave advice to him as to how he could approach couples better (like read their profile!). It has been non-stop messages since. We have not blocked him out of curiosity to see how long the begging will go on.

Yes, we're long past being upset when not getting a reply. Clearly, common courtesy is a personal choice. And we know that virtually everyone here is "always open to meeting new friends", we get that this is the expectation. And when we send an introductory Message, we tend to write way more in an effort to show a little of our personality, say what about their profile motivated us to write, and demonstrate that we read their profile. If we get a Message that had obvious effort put into it, it deserves a response even if it's to say we're not interested.

If someone walks up to you in a club or at a party and introduces themselves, you'd never just look at them and not respond. We think of on-line messages as a similar introduction even though it's not face to face.

Perhaps a better question to ask other than "Why not?" might be, "Is there anything that I could have done to improve my chances so I can learn from any mistakes I may have made?"

You may still not get an answer, because nice people are reluctant to hurt someone's feelings. Telling someone they simply don't find them attractive kind of falls under that umbrella.

We always put as much effort into our response as the other party does in the initial message.

I agree with the theme that no response IS a response. An actual written "no" seems more harsh.

Also seems a number of people (almost exclusively single guys) have reoccurring amnesia. We always get a kick when we get the guy fawning over wifey only to be called out on his past transgressions revert back to the personal insults and threats. It’s comical.

Agree with LMK.. we have answered "sorry not a match, enjoy your journey" and then some come back with insults, ask why not, please, etc etc..

YES No means No!

I don't think we have ever gotten a "why not" to any suiters we have declined. We are normally fairly polite in our responses as well.

Even if it’s a polite “no thank you,” I often get “may I ask why?” Sometimes, I may answer. If it’s an age or geographic issue. That’s pretty cut and dry. If it’s a personal preference, I’ll simply say, “Do I really have to explain that no means no?”

To Esperanza’s point, no one owes anyone anything. I get that. But I do at least try to be polite. Unless it’s not returned in kind. Then I’m done.

~LMK~

Lately, it seems as if the profiles with the tag line "always up for meeting new friends" (or similar) are the worst offenders in not responding to Messages.

Oh, the irony........

Well it seems that polite no thank yous are a thing of the past for most people.

I am a single man looking for a couple. I do not know if my messages are read. I think a polite no thank you were not interested would be nice.

Slightly of topic, but how about unsolicited information on a specific topic or event your familiar with given as a genuinely kind gesture... No talk of meeting or asking for pics, just info... Doesn't that at least deserve a thank you?
I don't get it ??

Got a nice enough DM the other day, but they were not in our age range preference. We responded saying as much, and they were really cool about it.

I don't see what the big deal is responding politely to good faith efforts.

On the other hand, I blocked some guy who sounded illiterate with a "got pics" type DM.

Only one of two people is typically corresponding, so it is as simple as "I am sorry there isn't mutual interest" or more completely, "As a couple, we reviewed your profile. Thanks for your time. There isn't mutual interest."

Direct is kind. At the same time, this is all direct marketing, and nobody owes any responses to unsolicited direct contact, ever.

@EdandBritney Ha ha ha! Imagine that. Where have I heard that before? Hmm…

@RonKathy I bet you guys get a ton of doozies! Doing great thanks. I really need to start thinking about another trip south. XO

~LMK~

We had a good one the other day...

"Let me put a collar on her and have my way with her".

That was it. No hello, no introduction, nothing else.

I wonder if that approach ever works for him.

@LoveMe ... he was trying to top you online but you weren't letting him Haaaaaaa

Same here.. Loveme..we had 4 just this week and its only Tuesday.. guess some just cannot or will not read ones profile !

Hope all is well just came back from Nashville and had a great time !