That's one of our biggest complaints, we do the same exact thing, nice complimentary email, open pics of both of us. Clear face g rated, we only contact people with similar profile intrested, hell we even include multiple contact options.... Bupkus, zip zero. You'd think we'd at least get a simple no thank you. We just don't get it
Okay, here we go. We have reached out to numerous couples just saying hey take a look at our profile we opened our pics and let us know either way if it's something that interests you and if you could open your pics as well that would be great.
And.......... Wait for it ...... Nothing, absolutely nothing.
I mean, just say, "hey we're not interested.". I even tell them we don't offend easily and we interested that everyone has their own preferences, desires and fantasies and if we aren't people who can work in that equation, that's okay. ????. Almost tempting to just stop trying. ????. We're not Ken and Barbie at all. But, someone should dig us from the profile. Maybe??? ?????????????????????. I don't know.
I certainly will. And don’t forget to say hi to Ms Northgirl for me.
Well Ole Trampy One. I think we are both quite nice fellas. Tell Lady I want to be real nice to her. Haha
SB
On a much lighter note...
Southboy, Lady heard from a mutual friend of ours a couple of days ago. She was very happy to have finally met you and just went on and on about how nice you were.
I tried to get Lady to tell that hottie that you weren’t really all that nice and that I was actually the one she should spend time with, I was not successful.
Turns out, Lady thinks you’re nice too! ;^(
“I don't answer my phone just because it rings.”
Fair point...I don’t either.
However, neither do I post my phone number on the internet and encourage strangers to call it. ;^/
I don’t recall calling anyone here a jackass, but I might be wrong on that.
I do recall saying that there are plenty of jackasses in this world and that it seems to become more so every day.
Whether or not you are one of those jackasses is something that I’ll leave for you and/or those who know you to decide. I don’t really have a dog in that hunt.
Here's what sets us on edge about this, the op asked for other people who share their opinion and examples from those who don't. These things are fine and those who responded as such (including us in our first post) are not the problem. We don't really care if you disagree with us or the op or anyone else. What we don't like are people who think that calling other people names because they don't like their opinion or trying to tell someone else how they should handle their interactions with strangers on a swinger site is ok. You want to give a differing opinion that's fine but if you want everyone else to live up to your own idea of civility and politeness or else they're "jackasses" or "arrogant" then you are exactly the type that WE don't want to talk to. Which is honestly why we even bother to come to the forums at all. Every single person in this thread that got upset at what we have to say will NEVER message us...but I guarantee you that a few people who read this will. THOSE are the people we want to meet and will find us to be honest kind and fun to party with. We don't need every person who can create an sls account to like us and we have nothing to prove to strangers but we won't stay polite when we see people trying to impose their morality or ideas through shame or ridicule.
I wouldn't judge people for not responding to e-mails. It's not how we handle the contacts we get from people, but we're not everyone.
But if you specifically write in your profile that you are looking for people to contact you by e-mail with a thoughtful message, I think you should expect a response.
If you know you may not reply to every message, don't encourage people to send them. That's really our point.
Sorry I did not know the rules of your game I will be more cautious next time. Enjoy...
Good point Northgirlsouthboy, It's all about Fun :)...
Not sure how you are seeing aspects of "it cause anger, angst, anxiety, annoyance" njnybiwfemme. Just a point of view... I thought we were trying to get past labels. We find it fun when VR turns into reality when we visit the club or other event.
We do get a pretty good amount of emails and we always answer. I just don’t understand what makes a person or couple to feel they are so damn special that they can’t take a moment to say we don’t feel we would be a good match. To me it is just civil to do so. One of the posters said it wasn’t their place to care about someone else’s feelings. I would never want to even meet a couple like that. We come here to have fun not deal with the arrogant asshole that thinks this way.
SB
mayhem8, we have been on SLS on and off since 2009 and we reply to messages with polite responses even if we don't feel we are a match.
(Also, what happened to NCAL )
We don't get so many emails that it is a burden. We've been on SLS for 4+ years now and still respond, even if it's just a, "Thanks for reaching out but we don't feel we're a match" response. That is of course assuming it's not an obvious cut/pasted email, but we get very few of those.
We deleted this because we thought it didn't fit with the original post, but here it is anyway... : )
Are the seasoned forumers (and maybe swingers) still giving the same old advice about responding to emails. Here is some advice, just send that "hey are you interested" email. You don't need a communications and/or liberal arts degree to send an email. If you don't get a reply move on , the couple or person you are email is a probably P.O.S and you can do better. If you get a reply back, GREAT get busy arranging a meeting. Most of the people giving advice seem to be single or were single and converted to a couple some time ago or have multiple profiles and you just can't or don't want to figure out what they heck they are doing.
I don't answer my phone just because it rings. I only answer it if I want to talk to the person calling. That's a pretty small subsection of the number of calls I get. Such a small subsection, that I have special ringtones for the few people whose calls I will always take. Otherwise, it's voicemail, even if I'm not busy.
Mind, If I get anything resembling a coherent email (a few appear to be in code, or at least not in English. and I no longer try to find a response in that case), I answer it. Because it's good manners and because I have no trouble saying no. I suspect the lack of one or both of those things is the reason even well crafted emails from people who have clearly read your profile is the reason for 80% of the non-responses, with the other 20% explained by "life got in the way."
I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before that I abruptly stopped having anything to do with SLS on a former profile. Like, one night we had a date with a couple and I never even opened the account the next morning to thank them and didn't even think about swinging for two years. That's a little dramatic, but it was also just life. I'm pretty sure we had a line saying we responded to all emails, too.
GGMM: Because their profile specifically said that sending a well written e-mail that showed we had read their profile was the way to get their attention.
I don’t find it at all unreasonable for a person to believe that they would get a reply to a legitimate email they sent.
It’s like believing that someone will pick up the phone and say hello if you were to dial the phone number of a business. Clearly every business has the absolute right to ignor their phone if they want, but it is a little perplexing if/when they do.
(Lady happens to work at such a place.)
Clearly, there are more than a few folks who lack the civility to give those replies, and it usually doesn’t take a rational person very long to learn that this is actually the rule as opposed to just an occasional exception.
All of that aside, I still find it completely understandable that someone would be looking for some sort of civil reply in a case such as the one MandC described.
Why would you have any expectations at all? I'm not being snarky, but I am curious.
Haha. If we thought we’d get no response, we’d have just sent an e-mail that only said “Hey”. It would have taken way less time, and our expectations would have been a lot lower.
I’m curious, are you arguing with anyone in particular, or just dancing with yourself here? ;^)
Right, so everyone obviously has their own opinion about things and rarely does one's opinion change about anything. However, all we've done is offer our own unmitigated opinions. What we've never done is come on here and start calling people assholes and jackasses because of their own opinions or get mad because someone ghosted us. We're not mad or butthurt at anybody, not even the ones who send hateful emails. We happen to live in a major metropolitan area with hundreds of local profiles and dozens more being created every day which means our volume of messages is too much to answer every one. Others in the thread are far more diplomatic than we, but the message is the same...grow up, move on to the next people if you get no response instead of whining about it.
...more so with each passing day, sigh.
Tramp
While we reserve the right to not answer any email we get if it's a hard no, the truth is we DO answer most emails from couples. If you're a single guy and you're mad about people ghosting you? Hahahahaha....let me break this down for you. We explicitly state early on in our admittedly long profile for single men to not message us, we will message you knowing perfectly well that the following will happen. Half of them will not read it, they'll get as far as epic ass profile pic and bi profile and think "oh, cuckold couple, I bet she needs my dick" and send us a message. Of the other half the vast majority will read that line and think " well she hasn't met ME yet..." And send us a message. A very small minority of them will read the whole profile and think "Man, I know it says don't message but they seem really cool and I think we'd get along great, well, no guts no glory..." and send us a message. Trust us on this we can tell the difference between those three types and will only respond to the few in the last group that we(she) likes enough to want to meet. Obviously this leaves about 99% of you with no response, but it's not like one day we're going to think "Gosh, I wish we hadn't blown off that one single guy three months ago, wherever will we find one now...."
8^O
