First dates and fucking

“Hedo Handshake”…….

Fantastic

We usually don't have enough free nights for multiple dates, so we prefer to play on the first date. Meet for a drink in your room, have some laughs and lets get naked. You wont regret it

"...when she had a handful of lube and my partner was sitting on the pool deck at the nude pool.... "

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Ah yes. The 'Hedo handshake', such a great greeting :-).

"Some of the Hedo encounters just came out of the blue..."

We met a couple at Hedo (and continue to see at Naughty every year) when she had a handful of lube and my partner was sitting on the pool deck at the nude pool. There have been a number of those spontaneous encounters, but so far that's the only one that has led to meeting up in other towns. ;)

"Two of my favorite experiences at Hedo involved having sex five minutes after I met the person."

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GGMM, Same here. In fact, in a few instances, I didn't manage to get to know them as we never got to exchange contact information. Some of the Hedo encounters just came out of the blue from scenarios as being 'sat upon' in the pool/hot tub to an unexpected 'happening hut' encounter. ;-)

A big thing for us is we want people to feel comfortable. If the "no play on a first date" rule helps accomplish that, we are fine with that. For whatever reason, we appeal to a lot of newbies and have been lucky enough to be the first for a number of LS people/couples. We have never lost how scary all of this can be when you're new.

Just because we can now look at sex like vanilla people might look at bowling with some new friends, that is something that came with time and experience that newbies don't yet have.

We generally do not have enough free nights for multiple dates. We go with no expectations, but if everyone hits it off, we are GTG that first night. We have no problem if we are not for them, nor any problem saying "we are not feeling a good match" if not for us. Honestly, when meeting a new couple we have already had some online comms and covered the basic interests. (I am talking with people you meet online, not Caliente or other folks you happen to meet at resorts as GGMM pointed out which is a different dynamic).

Everyone pretty much knows in the first 30 minutes with the first drink if things are going well. We do make a point to both need to use the restroom/make a call/or some excuse so that each couple can talk together in private, but if we are not feeling it that first night, it is very doubtful we will put effort in to meeting a second time.

Definitely a 'not on the first meeting' person, but in some circumstances I can be more flexible. It has to do with safety and risk management, so it doesn't apply at Hedo, sex clubs, or Naughty. Even there, I still enjoy the slow build of anticipation, but it's a bonus not a necessity.

Two of my favorite experiences at Hedo involved having sex five minutes after I met the person.

We see the “we don’t play on the first date” rule as a way to lower expectations and/or take the pressure off a first meet. Or maybe the couple is not 100% confident that they will feel an attraction, and this rule gives them an “out”.

We get that for some, this is a true and honest feeling. And that’s ok. We respect rules and it’s up to us to decide if we can go along, or it’s deal breaker.

yourluvrman - Things like this may or may not make someone re-evaluate their "first date" rule. We are very busy in both our family, vanilla and LS friends lives. A large part of that is that a number of people really seem to enjoy our company, for some crazy reason ;-)

That said, if you're enjoying someone's company then it would seem to be common sense that others may as well, and that could make someone less available for a second date. Just something to consider for those with this "no first date play" rule I suppose.

"We also like to play on a first date, but if people are coming to us and have a "no play on first date" rule, we honor it. It can be a while before we can get back together though. This is especially true if people are over an hour away.

That happened with a couple we met and they decided they wanted to play on the second date. Between our schedule and theirs, It literally took months to schedule that second date."

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Mayhem, I get it. The logistical dynamic expressed above seems to be in the realm of common sense to me, yet I hear complaints about 'why can't I get another shot'. Many of us have established circles and schedules to honor. When you say 'no' or 'later' or whatever, you risk not getting another chance. It's not like we're just sitting around waiting and twiddling our thumbs. A fun analogy is getting on a merry-go-round. If you miss an open slot, when that point comes around again, that spot will likely be occupied.

Harleycouple12 - We also like to play on a first date, but if people are coming to us and have a "no play on first date" rule, we honor it. It can be a while before we can get back together though. This is especially true if people are over an hour away.

That happened with a couple we met and they decided they wanted to play on the second date. Between our schedule and theirs, It literally took months to schedule that second date.

Personally, we don't get why people need so much time to figure out if they want to play. Especially where they know what we look like coming in and we all seem to be enjoying each other's company. If they need to talk things out, we'd gladly give them room for them to talk in private instead of waiting for a second date.

For us, this is all just recreational sex with the idea of making friends if possible. We can still have fun without the sex, but I'd think that sex is why people are here vs vanilla venues.

FWIW - I can't imagine anyone wanting to wait for a second date to play with you ;-)

@mnjfla - it's your home. You say "sorry, this isn't going to work out" and you show them the door.

Same as OWC.. we talked prior, saw your profile and photos.. the meet is just a formality to be sure you are as real as your profile / photos.. then we are off to our home or if out of town a hotel.

Only one time in the last couple years someone did a bait and switch and the photos were well over 10 years old.. we confronted them and then passed on a further play that night!

We are definitely playing on the first date. Most times it’s hard to schedule a date to begin with so not going to ruin a chance make some great friends.

Just be honest and tell them you are not feeling the attraction you had hoped for.

One pre qualifier to being comfortable enough to pay on first date, is all four talking on speaker phone, or face chat. Also agree that after spending time chatting, and getting to know the other couple, then meet "in public," if all agree play. We have made the mistake and invited people to our home not chatting with them, and now we do not want to play. How would you politely ask them to leave ???? How do you get them out of your house ? I fein a stomach ache or the flu. They get the hint and leave hopefully.

We play on first date for sure. By the time we meet we have seen pics we like, read your profile and saw same interests or had that clarified. SO meeting is simply a neutral site to assure you match your pics, confirm a "spark" and then....get a room!

We on first date for dinner and chat. We ended up playing and fucking my wife's brains out. It went so well we met again the next day for more hot action.

Sexy vibes is the new tequila.

We will definitely play on the first date if everyone is interested and sexy vibes are flowing

Unless someone, or a couple shows up and says and looks like advertised , we will fuck on 1st date , this is why we are on swinger website, not looking for replacements just a good old fucking, or atleast I will suck you cock dry Amanda

A hippie expedition sounds perfect for a groovy road trip to Woodstock.

Hey, you have any idea how many hippies i can stuff in an Expedition to attend our drum circle??? ;)

"...your moldy shower curtain and stained toilet tell me all I need to know."

I know, right? Those stained toilet pictures inevitably have the lid up. I check for sinkers or floaters. You can tell a lot by that.