Asking for galleries open?

Anyone who posts us from the automatic function on the app with one of those posts gets blocked .

picture etiquette after you have been on for a while is pretty clear. the serious people here have pictures to share and typically will if asked politely and there is reciprocity. I will show you mine first if I am asking to see yours. Now again where this is serious, there should be some geographic plausibility that you may actually meet otherwise this is just a bit of fooling around and teasing which is OK but not really why we are here.

Everyone else are just wasting time and are easily ignored.

It bothers us when we are asked out of the blue to open our galleries. At first, we thought it was just more rude people than in the past were joining SLS. Now, however, we see that it is a "function" of the phone app. If you are looking at pictures on the phone and the person/couple you are viewing has private photos, one extra swipe brings you out of the public photos to the private. The app will then send the Please Open Your Pictures request if the viewer swipes right to the private pictures. It's automatic and annoying at the same time.

So, while it still pisses us off, we no longer consider those requesting access to our private pictures to be creeps or photo collectors. I don't know the solution but, for now, we are ignoring such requests unless they are accompanied by an introductory message.

This is just another reason why getting rid of email on the site was a bad idea. However, another site we are on is doing the same thing and dropping email for a messaging option. It appears to be the wave of the future but that doesn't mean it is a real improvement.

Ours are closed.
Of those who write us based on our profile, a little under half have actually read it.
Of those better than half are both near enough and able to put a sentence together.

After that sifting process and one or two exchanges , in which each of us can decide if proceeding might be worthwhile, we open pictures and for the first time look at theirs.

I don't understand why so many people have accounts on this site and don't post any photos. I don't need to see all of the couple's private or personal galleries, but I would at least like to see some "PG" rated or face pics. There is no way that I want to hook up with someone who doesn't share any pics. I just feel that they want to hide something. When in this lifestyle, you are going to get nude and have sex with strangers, so why not start the relationship with a couple of photos with your smiling faces.

Yikes! That's definitely pushy. We don't have many options in our small area, so driving 80 miles for an initial meeting isn't a big deal, but we'd prefer people who are closer.

We frequently go to a nudist resort 120 miles away, usually about one weekend a month for events (that's where we are now, actually!) and use it as a jumping-off point to meet in town. We also have met SLSers here, since there are quite a few couples who are already members. We all try to be discreet since not all nudists are swingers. When we meet up, it's helpful to have nude galleries open because there aren't clothing clues to go off! Also, some people have their faces covered except in locked galleries, so we feel it's fair to ask then. We think that physical attractiveness is important, even though personality is more often the deal-breaker.

Young2Ginger...I had one guy really wanting to get something started. Distance what I consider too far (80 miles or so) so there was no chance from my perspective of every meeting. Kept asking to open my pics which I repeatedly denied. Came back his were now open but I did not check them out. No way to maintain a cordial chat and all he wanted was my pics open. After repeated denials and no desire to check his out and his hounding to open my pics, I blocked him. A simple no should be enough. Honestly, if someone hits me up from far and distant place, my initial inclination is to avoid. I get it some may just want to chat but sharing pics with no reasonable opportunity to meet is silly. I will not check anyone out over 40 miles or so and that is a stretch.

Slender, I wondered about that, too. At first. But sometimes I read something in the forums that leads me to check a profile for answers. Or sometimes it's curiosity, especially when someone points out conflicts between forum statements and a profile.

On the subject of the subject, we all have criteria for opening our galleries and shouldn't be expected to know what every member thinks is acceptable. Personally, I like to get to know someone before opening mine, but it's fine if someone else opens first. And don't feel bad if you don't know what others expect!

Agreed...get a conversation started then move to opening galleries. Another thing...I get people viewing my profile and there is no chance of meeting. These are people 200 to 2000 miles away. What is that? Get the usual message, "read your profile and like it so will you open your pics?" Not giving some one jerk off material on the other side of the country.

"Is that not how it works? Now we feel horrible."

That pic demand (because that's what it is) is a function no one asked for but SLS, which apparently hires no one who is a member of the lifestyle, gave it to us anyway. So it's no surprise that new people think it's just a thing they're supposed to do. Please don't feel horrible for using tools to navigate an unfamiliar situation.

But now that you do know, please don't use that particular function again. Instead, if you're interested in knowing what people look like, you're going to have to initiate a conversation with them and hope they respond favorably and, without prompting, open their photos for you.

As a general rule for us we don't open our pics for anyone we don't feel a connection with or even see any chance of playing with. We do get many requests from mostly single guys looking to get access to our pics. Most of those guys are no where near us. Try establishing a connection with someone before asking that they share their pics. You might find that to work better for you.

As a new couple, we don’t know the etiquette. We’ve clicked on nearby profiles and clicked to ask that they open their private pics. Is that not how it works? Now we feel horrible.

Just ignore them...... then how about the ones that visit your profile all the time and never say hello......

Moon most are those from the CL holdovers when it closed down and are NOT real swingers especially those with NOT ONE photo.. voyeurs and pervs on SLS looking for cheap thrills.. !

This is probably the most annoying thing when a profile makes initial contact. Things like “hey wife has nice tits, can you open more pics?” Or a small conversation is initiated by the other and then asks us to open pics when he/they don’t have any to offer or maybe just one. It’s obvious they haven’t read or profile or even tried to get to know us. If we are interested we always open our pictures first and expect the same. Just seems to make sense to have the profile that initiates the interest to open their galleries first.

I know the last post is old but I didn't want to start a new thread on a subject that is similar.

I am seeing another rude trend where people are saying open "All" your pics before contacting us or you will be blocked. Of course this is targeted to the SM. I do have pics that I open when I am interested in a couple but when I see that on a profile I just move on no matter how good they look. I don't even bother reading the rest of the profile.

As others have stated, I do open my pics if I am asking to see someone's pics but this is only after we've been chatting back and forth for a few minutes. I also open mine when they ask if the chatting is going well and I am not consistently getting one word responses.

The worst part is I am seeing this statement to open pics from people that have no pics or just one or two public pics and no private galleries.

Spell checked yes.....Grammar maybe.... LOL

Just got a message today from a gumby couple profile: "Nice pics, anymore?" They had 2 pics in a closed gallery, on SLS since 2016 with no certs & 3 lines in the profile. BLOCK!

Oh YES.. these guys think just because they are on a sex site usually with gumby profile want to see yours.. hell NO!

Too bad we had to change our positive new profile.. to a more negative opener with all these requests daily!

As an opener, "Let's see your pix" is not a good one. As things progress, I'll ask about when others are comfortable with it and suggest we'll open ours.

Our faces are visible in all our public pix, so we just have a Naughty Pix gallery to share anyway. But there are so many different views on it that we just take it one request at a time.

We think a lot of these messages are single males "carpet bombing" everyone who is on line or comes up in a search. They don't appear in our Who Viewed Me until after we look to see who they are. It's a fishing expedition with bad bait.

What hotluvrs said, wife has done that a couple times by accident when using the app. Usually we send a follow up oops message

The part that annoys me is that instead of understanding swingers and the lifestyle and anticipating what a clusterfuck it is to have an easily accessible button that sends rude demands, all they had to do was make it a notification that people were sharing their photos with you. That would actually be somewhat useful.

But no.

Instead, there's a poorly worded suggestion that you share your photos with yourself. By clicking the other person's profile.

We agree it's rude. We have a few rules we go by. If we initiate contact, we expect to open our pics first. If they initiate contact, we expect them to open pics first. If we've chatted and people open theirs for us and we're not interested, we still open ours for them so all are on level ground. Provided the private galleries actually have their identities exposed like we do in ours. Lately we've been finding that people's private galleries are just a secondary public gallery that reveals nothing extra.

Early on I asked that they allow us to block that function The answer was that the powers that be could not see why anyone would want to do that.
That is another way in which the owners really show that they just do not care.

Just for their information.: the reason that we want to be able to block it is that there is no reason we should have to go through the step of deleting them each time.

“.... sent a private image access request

<--Click their profile image to the left and press the 'Private' button to accept and share all of your private pictures withhotluvrs

(Automated Message Sent From Mobile App)”

If some of you are complaining about getting this message, remember that there is evidence that users of the app can inadvertently send this message despite not really meaning to request access. We simply delete these messages.

If we get a message where it is clear that the sender knew they were requesting access without first introducing themselves, they’ll usually get a polite rejection and a quick explanation of why we think their request was inappropriate.