[LOCKED]Bring back the mail

Thanks for the heads up TallSwingersMI I will be sure to Google and check out that site! Hopefully there are members in the northern part of the state :)

We are fairly new members here but not new to swinging. Our reason for staying and "toughing it out" is that there is a local club a fairly short drive (even closer than actually going to town) from our house that is an affiliate (or whatever) of this site. The next nearest thing that calls itself a club on any site we have found in our area is 40 miles away. The next nearest we would actually consider remotely comparable is 60 miles in the other direction but it does not offer half the amenities as the one we enjoy that is less than 20 miles away. Until such time as they decide to migrate or whatever we will remain here although we are checking out other sites and have added a profile to a couple. Of course finding another on-premises club with play rooms, hot tub, and a pool among other things might change that but living in the southeastern US it is amazing that there are a couple permanent location clubs in the whole state much less the 3 that do hotel takeovers.

When we lived up in the Washington, DC metro area, there was another "alt" site which was quite popular with the local swinger community. In fact, when we moved up there, the lifestylers we met said no one used SLS anymore but they'd all switched to "alt." Our experience seemed to confirm that so it is possible for a smaller, local site to compete with the behemoth of SLS. It's just hard to get traction and become a more important site in a local area. Unfortunately, where we live now is primarily SLS country. Some other sites have a presence here but SLS is the big dog in the pack.

nnvacoupl

The "cutting off my nose" comment was in reference to walking away from SLS completely as a lifetime member. I am, and have always been on multiple sites. This may prompt me to check more out as a matter of fact, in particular, after Googling the "3rd largest Swinger site". If nothing else, I suspect a # of unhappy members are taking another look at SLS's competition.

Even after doing that though this will likely still just be yet another site that I'm on.

"...that allows us to be more tolerable to their defecates."

I'm guessing that last word is an autocorrect for deficiencies, but since "shitting the bed" is a common phrase for comprehensive failure, maybe not. ;-)

I'm really mostly here for the forum these days, because SLS does not have a lot of active members in my area. I don't think it's cutting off my nose to become a member elsewhere.

It drops cash into the competition's pocket, which is never a bad thing, particularly if extra income is reinvested, and most parties and groups advertise on multiple sites anyway.

“We've already set up profiles on competing websites since this whole fiasco started.”

Honestly, we were established on other sites before our journey here. We’ve always used this site as a supplement, never as a primary source, that allows us to be more tolerable to their defecates.

~Allen

Voting with your feet as a lifetime member is akin to cutting your nose off to spite your face. Yes, if enough people walked it would eventually hurt SLS, but until something nearly as good network-wise comes along, we'd also be hurting ourselves. It still serves the purpose I am here for, albeit, not as well.

If I was a monthly paying member that would be different. I'd stand to gain something by walking away, even if just temporarily and more importantly, SLS would feel an immediate tangible loss.

I'm sure the admins. will block saying any specific alternative (and lately, much better) websites. I will say there is one we like, that is "the 3rd largest swinger website in the world" (ahem...Google that). It can be more regional, but the more who use this globally, the better the site becomes. We are finding more and more people there from our state (Michigan) all the time. And the site itself is MUCH better IMO. Better search functions, a "flirt" function, ACTUAL EMAIL like SLS once had, plus the usual parties, and events listed.

SLS made the mistake of thinking they know what users want vs. what users actually want. Many (myself included) have tried to reach out to the Admins. to suggest alternative ways to handle certain things and that fell on deaf ears. The only voice they will hear is the silence of a tumbleweed, barren wasteland of what was once a flourishing website.

We have been doing that (looking for competing websites) for two years. The Nashville area doesn’t seem to have an active community on the ones we’ve tried. If anyone has suggestions, we are all ears!

Why is everyone just throwing up their hands and saying "oh well, I guess I just have to deal with it?" Vote with your feet!

We've already set up profiles on competing websites since this whole fiasco started. And we have a date with a couple we met there next week. SLS is the only site that I'm aware of that no longer sends external email notifications of new messages. As we continue to gain traction elsewhere, we'll no longer bother signing in here. And if anyone ever messages here, they won't get a timely response because we won't know that we have a message. If that happens with enough users, eventually the attrition will naturally cause hemorrhaging that won't be able to be stopped. Just ask Friendster, MySpace, AOL Instant Messenger, etc etc. The Internet is littered with the graves of websites who believed that the network effect would forever enable them to ignore their users' wants.

j_an_k - There are enough monthly paying members that are upset as well. Being one of those would have the same outcome but simply cost you more money if you decided to stay. You could have at least left the "product" pool and voted with your $$$ as a monthly paying member, but until another site gained significant network in your area you'd just be missing out on the type of opportunities that were the reasons behind you signing up here in the first place.

I agree it sucks. Things don't always go the way we would like, but when that happens, sometimes all you can do is make the best of it. I have little doubt these "improvements" will have a negative effect on SLS's market and perhaps in time we can say to SLS, "Told you so".

It’s been my opinion for a while that anyone still approving pictures or profiles for this site is a fool

They are removing more and more of the usability we paid for and asking for evermore of our time to help them run their site.

Let them give up their own time approving their own members and pics. Iif they can’t be bothered to respond to the mass of complaints, we shouldn’t be bothered helping them run their site.

~rabbit~

It doesn't matter if you are a lifetime member, a recurring payment member or a free member, the clear and obvious fact is that SLS simply doesn't care what you think. I've been on this site over 15 years and not once have the admins responded to the wishes of its members.

We can protest. We can boycott. We can leave. It won't matter one iota. I don't know how much it costs to maintain a site with 1980's architecture but my guess is the site owners consider this a viable business model. Unless every single one of us leaves, they will continue to believe that.

~Scamp

I can't help but disagree with the idea that lifetime members provide no financial benefit for the owners. Not only do we provide a stable active base, which attracts new members, but we also have the "benefit" of screening new photos and profiles, and re-rating existing photos. If we look at that as a free service we provide, instead of a benefit, we definitely add value to the site. I personally spend around 1 hour per day providing those services. I wonder how many labor hours are provided by all lifetime members, and how much it would cost to hire people to perform the same service we give away for free.

I am going to stop providing the free service, until SLS management restores the email service I paid for. I know that it's a feeble protest at best, but it's all I have, and just imagine if all lifetime members did the same thing. I picture new members having to wait days before anything gets approved, and maybe deciding that this site might not be worth joining.

@mayhem

I appreciate the kind words and suggestions. However my point is that SLS does not an economic incentive to cater to the needs of lifetime members. They've already gotten every nickel they ever will from us. Our only value is in that we're the reason new members will consider paying money. So, in essence, we're now the product that is being sold, rather than being the customer.

I don't regret paying for my membership, but I do wish that I chose the recurring monthly membership in order to ensure that SLS continued to have to earn my business.

@sorillo

"On the plus side, there's a lot of fora lurkers who have decided to jump into the deep end and comment. Which is nice for idiots like me who crave an audience for their asshattery."

Too bad they don't have a "like" button for forum posts.

j_and_k - Welcome to the forum, and BTW, a very nice "product" at that ;-) If you can still find and meet nice people then you haven't wasted your money. The whole purpose in this site is to find and meet nice people, and that can still happen (also making lemonade here). If you are able to do that then you are using the site rather than the other way around.

The experience of doing that has been diminished, but the end result can still be the same because everyone is strapped/limited by the "improvements".

You will see a lot of "Hi there" and other short messages from people hoping to engage you in an interactive conversation, which is what IM tends to be better for, but you can still send a set of messages that essentially make up the content of a decent email. It might take 8-10 messages to do that, but it can be done.

In the meantime, some of SLS's market share will migrate to other sites that could have a better user interface so worth it to Google around and look for/check some of those out too.

Feeling dumb for having a lifetime membership? No, not at all. Smartest move we made here.

As long as we've been on here (110 months and counting) our lifetime membership has cost us less than two dollars a month. The longer we hang around here the lower the cost gets.

For less than two dollars every month we have found a lot of new lifelong friends and countless adventures.

Count me in as a Hater on the new system.....Will probably look elsewhere for a more user friendly site.

I paid for this one in 2012, plus maybe three months for a single's profile, so it's not like I haven't gotten my money's worth. And I don't feel dumb at all. Since I have the power of a negative review and will use it, that rather makes up for not being able to withdraw financial support.

@goodgolly

Like us, you're a lifetime member. You're no longer a paying customer. You're now the product being sold to prospective new members.

I feel so dumb paying for a lifetime membership.

"PLEASE bring back the mail !!! If those in charge at SLS care at all about their customers they will listen to what all of us are saying."

Please do not hold your breath while waiting for even a whisper of evidence that SLS gives even a tiny, faint damn about their customers.

Let me join the crowd in sharing my disappointment in the new IM system that replaced the mail. I used it for the first time today and I hate it. It is fine for a short message or chat, but if you want to send an introductory message to someone you want to try to connect with that tells a bit more about you it stinks because the length of your message is limited. You can keep this new system but PLEASE bring back the mail !!! If those in charge at SLS care at all about their customers they will listen to what all of us are saying.

On the plus side, there's a lot of fora lurkers who have decided to jump into the deep end and comment. Which is nice for idiots like me who crave an audience for their asshattery.

Okay, it's not MUCH of a plus side, but I'm trying to make lemonade here. ;)

@num1scamp, that's so true. The fact that you can still email your "Archived Mail", receive bulk emails, and receive special SLS emails tells me the code is still there. They've just disabled it for the regular user to initiate a new email. It certainly appears that the powers that be in SLS have let their ego get in the way of listening to customers.

nnvacouple