No. Non-monogamy is part of my sexual identity and, since I figure that out at 16, probably inherent rather than a matter of opportunity. The lifestyle is a later discovery, but I embraced it as the best iteration for me. I've been able to offer a short term commitment to monogamy in the early part of a relationship, but even that has been like ill-fitting clothing.
Although I have very little experience with swinging, my whole adult life has been with women who eithier let me see other women or who wanted to see other men, which I think is very close to swinging. We would even watch each other's videos.
I never had a monogamous relationship to go back to, but I would never get into one now.
We've talked about this as a hypothetical. We enjoy sharing so much, it's a part of our life and loving relationship together. We've discussed how we got into this in other places on sls fora. But to sum it up, even though we both were pretty inexperienced sexually when we met, we shared with others very early on in our dating. It happened kinda naturally and we enjoyed it despite neither of us ever having heard the terms "swinger" before. Yes, we were naive back then.
We'd both probably gravitate to new partners who were tolerant to joyfully, exuberantly. open in their sexual and erotic lives if we had a major life change. We both would entertain non-swingers as dates or lovers, but probably not for long term relationships.
Interesting question.. so for "us" we have been active select swingers well over 30 years. It just came so natural as we are both on the same page with having sex with others and what it brings.
I have seen our friends who dont swing "cheat" because they wanted something else with variety and yes they both do , asked why not swing and the answers just dont make sense to us.
So as of right now we would say NO as we both enjoy others too much and sexually active to limit ourselves to only one person after swinging for so many years.. and NO not going to cheat at our age.
For the singles in the lifestyle and a hypothetical for couples if (for whatever reason) they were no longer with their significant other, you meet a vanilla who knocks your socks off, accepts your swinger past, but wanted to be monogamous.
Do you think you could give up the lifestyle? Not give up your friends from it, just give up non-monogamous sex?
