How do YOU read a profile?

Shes got great eyes. The B&W pic is one of the best pics I've seen in a while.

I suppose that's true, and I hadn't given that a thought, but we do in fact have pictures that show our eyes. I wasn't saying it was the first thing, just an important one.

Ok, this is just because I find it funny.

HA wants to see eyes . . . their lead photo hides their eyes. Hmm :)

Our experience has been one of chance. Sometimes the profile pics are great, the body of the profile is well written and interesting, but the meeting doesn't live up to the hype. We have met couples at an event, had a great time and later checked their profile only to find out that they would never be on our radar. lol We now only do events. We sometimes get spontaneous and do a hot date thing. See where it goes with zero expectations. lol

@HA - This is the ultimate outcome from participating in the forum. I look at it as a way to learn and improve, and it's clear from your last sentence that you've done that and will likely be better off for the experience. Even better when you realize things yourself from having participated. I think that's awesome.

Cover photo first. It's right up front and I feel it sets the tone for what they want to portray. A cover photo should be attractive and accurate and convey a real sense of who they are, (perhaps I need to reconsider ours).

Next, I look at stats. I look for a couple that is pretty close to our equals. If there are big differences in weight or age, I feel like it won't fly.

Then the body of the profile; I want information, I want to feel like I understand who they are and how likely we are to get along. I pay close attention to grammar, punctuation, vocabulary, and originality. I don't care for cliches. I look for personality and I really love good humor.

And absolutely, photos are crucial. I must see faces, eyes. Do they appear to have similar interests? Are the photos interesting, are they well-groomed? If the photos are weak, it's a major turn-off.

Hmmm... I think I need to go rework my profile.

I will admit I do check some of the pop-up stats. First their age range, then their distance? Any profile that is more then a 100 miles away I will rarely check any further. If we are close to their age request then I will read a profile from beginning to end regardless of the Straight or Bi preference on the pop-up. Sometimes the guys height and/or weight becomes a thing for the wife and I believe most women prefer a man to be taller then them anyway.

We also will notice a surge in views from posting in the forums or when in the chat rooms....and funny thing you rarely see anyone from the chat rooms in the forums and vise a versa and both of them you will see a steady repeat of the same profiles.

Yeah, being active on the forums definitely produces views. In fact, I get at least 3 times as many views over 400 miles away as I get within 150 miles. I've verified this by emailing distant viewing couples just to ask if it was my fora asshattery that made them look. I asked, because I wondered how a couple that far away would even be able to see my single male profile, suspecting that my profile was popping up somewhere else on the site, like the list of cruise attendees (for the record, I'm not).

MoT,

I think you would be surprised how many lurkers there are in the fora. We get views and occasional messages from all over the country, and sometimes, like today, from all over the world when we got an IM from a guy in Norway. .

Another source of views will be from certs. We always look at a couple's or SM certs to see how selective they are so people probably wonder why this couple from NOLA is perving their profiles in SC, GA and FL. Lol

~Scamp

We've noticed an increase in looks at our profile from people 100's of miles away since posting in the forum. I assume they're just interested in learning more about us even though we'll likely never meet.

In some cases it may just be people that are looking for more ideas for their profile. A number of my postings are in the Better Profiles thread.

MoT - Some of the far away looks at your profile may be because of your forum activity - they are curious because of something you posted. As for your system - it is fine for you keeping track that way but as far as I know no notice is sent to a profile when you mark them as a friend or open your galleries for them. So you either have to send them a message or hope they see that you viewed them and respond.

We look for pics first. Generally if there isn't enough pictures up to intrigue us we don't even bother with the profile.

I did notice the part about the "hobby ranch" disappeared, so some part of that update may be on me. There appeared to be such an extreme need for discretion that the male half couldn't risk even a headless torso shot in the public gallery, but posting that they had cattle and fences and such to tend to on their "hobby ranch" was OK. It may well have been, if they live in an area that has a fair # of "hobby ranches". Something I can't tell, but we live in the suburbs and someone that "has a high profile job and a hobby ranch" would be WAY more identifying than a generically clothed headless picture. The latter would serve their needs for finding others better.

The LS is always a balancing act. You balance your need for discretion (risks) against the potential gains. You balance your work and home life against the time you allot for LS friends/play. They all inter-relate and are as personal as you are, but an extreme need for discretion is ALWAYS going to make the LS more difficult.

s for the base question, I mentioned it before that some read a profile for a reason to say Yes or No. We tend to be in the former camp.

Don't read too much into profiles on this site. People have a tendency to say what they think you want to hear rather than the truth. They also post pictures that are more than a decade old. They lie about their ages and their weight, and when they indicate watch/soft/full play, consider that full play only. Look at the profiles, but more importantly ask questions, talk, or set a dinner date just to get to know each other. When I first put my profile together I got no responses. I asked for advice on the forum and was surprised at the replies. By the time I took the advice offered and changed my profile, it gave very little real information about me and my wife, what we were really looking for, and what our limits were. Personally, I think profiles are just bait.

Some really good advice on here was well worth reading thank you.

We much like most everyone who usually adds value to the conversations, look over the stats and the likes first. If there is no weight listed I generally look for a picture to see why. One of the most important things to us is common interests. Imagine going out with another couple and having absolutely nothing to talk about other than do you want it on the bed or the floor? We realize we may be in a minority but we like to find others that we can enjoy each others company which is much more than just sportfucking as I have seen others insinuate as the real reason for swinging.

@adorkablepair

First of all, GREAT profile name. We’ve used the term between ourselves for years.

Secondly, we agree with pretty much everything you wrote about your approach to checking out new profiles and yours is a great read.

Thirdly, great to see hot pictures of both of you in your public gallery and some pretty creative shots. We may steal the necktie idea. ;^D

Finally, we were going to say how sad we are that you are 1,300 miles away but the whole age and hair thing disqualifies us anyway but if you ever find yourself in New Orleans, we would be happy to share drinks, and stories of our unique journeys, with you.

R&S

Perhaps I am the odd one. I read the profile first. Pictures say a thousand words, but that is a snapshot in time. The written word tells me more about you than the picture.

With that said, preferences are the most important. Our profile is really explicit in our comfort level and if people aren't similar, it just creates friction. Either they have to come to our level or we have to go to their level and that is not fair to either party. After that, it's the weight more than the age or the height. In our profile we state we are typical americans. We can stand to lose 15lbs and during tax season it's probably 25. But we are not overly obese. We can each see our genitals and not via a mirror :) We are not into people who are that large. When we see the age listed, it ties into the profile and if they are experienced or not. We have found people who are in their 20s that are more at our level than people in their 50s. Therefore, it is the level that means the most. Then lastly, the pictures.

On a side note, I do chuckle at some of the comments in here and/or on people's profile because, well, I don't think people thought them through clearly.

The comment about we want to find people who are passionate about life and things in life. But wait . . . you can't be passionate about sex with others and go out every weekend. Huh? Seriously? So if your passion is golf and you play 8 times a month that is OK, but if your passion is sex and you play 8 times a month that is bad?

Then the age thing - well, that's interesting because last I checked if you saw someone at a party you would never ask them to produce their ID to see if they are within the age that your requirements are. Yet, here, it is some magical line in the sand that excludes instead of includes.

The the height thing. My wife is probably one of the tallest women on the site. She rarely finds guys taller than her and she rarely pursues much shorter men. However, she learned that excluding these short guys was not always in her best interest. One of the best lays she has is with a guy who is 5'5". His personality got him in the door and his skills keep him inside. If she had that line in the sand rule, she would loose out on what she calls top 3 guys she likes.

Most of the people are looking for reasons NOT to meet and to not fuck. Hey, that's fine if it was gets you off. I just think it's funny. Partly because it does give a little credence to Ncal's statements.

Thanks for the welcome! And no worries! We all have different experiences and expectations here. I'll just add that in five years of doing this only two or three times has someone shown up to a first meeting with the other couple being way off of their profile's numbers and photos (either weight, age, or height). For us, there's no recovery from that, because then we wonder what else they're lying about. Maybe we've just been really lucky spotting the more honest profiles!

Only those that dont care if their face pics are posted all over the internet put face pics on any site that has to do with swinging or sex. Some of us prefer to keep our sex and swinging life private and discreet.

When we look at a profile we add ten pounds to the stats and ten years to the ages. We want full swap couples. We then ask for a phone call from the couple and meet for a drink. We just got a email from a couple that claimed to be 60. they sent pics which looked more like 70.

Honest profiles are few and far in between

Only speaking for us here… We first check the stats, height, weight, and ages. If those are in line with what we say we're looking for, we'll give the profile a read. Too many negatives and we'll know we're not a fit. Instead of writing all of the things you DON’T want/don't like, how about the things you DO like and look for? We're big on communication, so if there’s hardly any words, or the few words are full of grammar and spelling errors, we're likely not going to be a fit. If there are no pics of the male half, we're likely not going to take it any further. If you're a couple looking for a couple, we don't understand not putting up a picture or two of the male half. We also would hope that if someone reaches out to us first, that they’ve opened face pictures (we always do when we reach out first). With face pictures, we love the pictures that show some personality: being active, being goofy, that stuff goes a long way with making us want to know more.

So many profiles end up being some derivation of all the others. We think it’s awesome when there’s some personality and humor in the writing. I mean… we get it: We’re looking for a good time and no drama too! What else ya got?

I look first at their basic stats first. Membership type, age, height, weight, location, age range, drink or smoke. Even though their membership time is listed, I don't really put much weight into that.

If all looks good on the stats, then it's on the their profile. If it's coherent and flows nicely all the better. Short & sweet is OK if it tells enough info about themselves and what they want. A long drawn out profile is cool, but one with all the I don't do this, I don't like this and all that BS is a definite no go.

If everything is still good, then I will look at their pictures. No pics at all, and I will not waste my time on them. I like to see a picture or two of the male, but that's really not a deal breaker. If they will not provide one when asked, than that is.

I will respond if we are interested or not though.

~N

Just as long as the Link In gathering doesn't turn into a sausage party.

And if any of you degenerates start talking about Lance Link, Secret Chimp.... Dood, that's bizarre, even for me.

Though, "LINK_IN" would make a great name for a swinger site...

BT

Link In Front, Link In Back.. Link In Front & Back at the Same Time... Link wherever she'd like it...

It dawns on me that either here or another thread that people were looking for certain criteria to determine the likelihood that someone is real and will actually meet. One could always look at local LS party RSVP lists and people on those would probably increase the odds of finding someone that will meet, assuming the other basics were there.

You could always attend the same party as someone you find interesting as well. As mentioned before, if it doesn't work out it's still not a wasted night.

Lol. No, that’s not the one I was thinking of.