Couples rules

So no cumming or swallowing????? Darn....

The only hardfast rule for me is no bodily function play. I prefer not to kiss unless its my partner and I like to save anal for him. I do like when the guy or woman from the other couple asks to fuck one of us. It's sorta hot.

We do separate room if asked because the dynamic is different. I can conservatively say that easily 50% of the male halves of couples can't perform in the same room. Especially so if I start fucking first.

We ran into a couple that actually said the opposite of what most couples told us. The said they were "working up to same room play." It was because the guy could not perform with his wife playing in the same room. While most would see this as backwards, they had adjusted their rules to what worked for them.

I get a lot out of it knowing the Mrs had a good time, and being within earshot of each other can be REALLY hot to imagine what is being done with/to her to cause those happy sounds coming out of her.

Thanks, mayhem, for your insights. We too have done the separate date things over the years- haven't in several years, but we experienced a very different dynamic between men and women doing it. The single men were much more likely to see the hot wife for what she is; someone to hang out and have a fun time with. However, four of the five women I (husband) connected with eventually turned our time into an emotional thing; wanting a relationship.

When we went out on those separate "dates" it was kind of surreal. Every emotion runs though wondering if it's a really a good idea, feeling an immense feeling of excited freedom, and then eagerly going for it because it's all shiny and new. We even did some fantasy with it which was fun. Once my Mrs. wore nothing but high heels and a trench coat driving across town. She said drive made her so wet... And then opening the coat at the door when the guy opened it. And another time her asking for a hall pass.. with me saying, okay but you need to send me a selfie with his big cock in you mouth. (deal). One of mine was doing it with a friend in the back of our SUV in the middle of the day parked in the back of a public park. The lady was into it too like a happy bunny rabbit. And when we get home we like to fantasy talk about it when we reconnect. We haven't done that in some time though; for me mostly because the women kept wanting to turn it into a relationship and it was hard for me to filter them out. The DTF women I have seen were more likely going for guys in their 20's and 30's than guys who are 50.

As far as single guys go, the ones we've really gotten to know were really good, actually became outside the lifestyle friends, and absolutely know where the line is. If I had one bit of advice to give single guys it's that if they are an alpha, be an alpha when we're having a threesome too. My Mrs. doesn't want to be asked what she likes, she wants to be taken (I brief the guy ahead of time the first time and it flows from there). She likes to be tag-team banged like a screen door during a thunderstorm. It's really hot for both of us.

Doesn't everyone know Esperanza is the foremost Lifestyle authority? LOL!

Wow... somebody needs a nap.

ummmmm...... OK... That was kinda out of the blue.

Do yourselves a favor and stop projecting. I voiced what my personal preferences are. Jayzus kreist some of you are so fucking entitled.

Well said, mayhem.

As was mentioned, rules can change over time and the "always together" rule is one that has changed for us. There are people that go on completely separate dates. While we don't do that and perhaps might not ever do that, I get why some people do. If it works for them, it doesn't matter what I or anyone else thinks.

There is a tendancy for some to think, "They'll never last as a couple going on separate dates like that." Of course, there are plenty of vanilla people that would think the same about what it is we do. We've been married 35 years and swinging since 2014 and still going strong. If we were ever to split up, it certainly wouldn't be over sex, which is basically what this hobby is.

If you're in the next county you're within earshot of Tracy. Hence the desire for separate room sex. Lol

"If I wanted to just go off to some room by myself with an individual, why bother having a couples' profile? Part of the thrill and living the fantasy is to be in the fantasy together. I love watching my wife give and receive. She has said the same."

Not so black and white for us. We enjoy both. You've made it clear that your only thrill is being together, which is great! We all should be doing what works for us as individuals and/or in partnerships. To each their own.

We enjoy seeing and hearing each other play, but we have also found being in earshot and not seeing each other can be hot too.

We swing for the sexy fun time with others who want sexy fun time, not to make long-lasting deep relationships. Been there, done that. I don't need or want to get to know your vanilla friends and sit around pretending like we aren't actually waiting for your vanilla friends to leave so we can finally get naked. If you want to get busy, clubs and parties are the way to go. This dating crap is for the birds.

Same room,same bed is a mutual preference because for us that is the point of swinging. If I wanted to just go off to some room by myself with an individual, why bother having a couples' profile? Part of the thrill and living the fantasy is to be in the fantasy together. I love watching my wife give and receive. She has said the same.

"Now I am NOT speaking for anyone at all when I say that many couples that say "we only play together". Is a rule brought on by the male in a subconscious way to slow her down and curb the jealous factor"

For someone whos "not speaking for anyone at all" you just did a fine job of it lol.

Our rule/guideline to always play together is a mutual one as we like to see each other have fun and its something we do as a couple. Its not born out of jealousy. We did once both go on seperate dates with another couple and came back together to give each other the details. It was fun and hot in its own way but we much prefer to play together.

Got busy and this thread is certainly trucking along! We recognize we're in the minority in our opinions of clubs and parties vs. meets. Appreciate the thoughtful responses from a number of you explaining why those options work for you. Solid perspective.

"Ya we're bed hopping whores and love it! Lol "

Hahaha!

Yes I will agree that women generally have a lot more opportunities to play than men. I also think that the man's jealousy of that, does in fact dictate the rules that many couples have. Now I am NOT speaking for anyone at all when I say that many couples that say "we only play together". Is a rule brought on by the male in a subconscious way to slow her down and curb the jealous factor.

Hell I'll admit that I'm jealous of my wife. She's 10 years younger than me and a hell of a lot better looking than me. She could get laid every 10 minutes at a party while I have to work at it. Even though. I'm not going to slow her down.

One thing that normally seems to happen is that the woman has way more opportunities than the man when playing separate at parties, so some couple's rules stem from that.

In our case, we just know so many people and my sex drive is still higher than the Mrs, so more often than not, I'll play more than her. This is by her choice. Since this happens a fair bit, I actually really enjoy the times she lets loose and plays more than me. I've even helped her do so, not that she really needs my help ;-)

After 15-plus years in the lifestyle we much prefer the house/hotel party experience over the whole "couples dating" experience.

People who show up for a party are usually ready to play and the only thing that matters is chemistry.

Nobody is concerned about your political persuasion or what football team you're a fan of. We can talk about that later.

We usually each go our own way at a party but always know what room the other is in. At least I can hear where she is... everyone can :-)

We don't have to worry about the elusive four-way chemistry with another couple and everyone can play with whomever they want to play with and say no thanks to the ones they don't want to play with. Options are a good thing...

What!!! You're gettng paid for it? Hhhhmmmmppphhh. We're not, so I guess that just makes us sluts ;-)

Ya we're bed hopping whores and love it! Lol

2OutDoors - We've had similar experiences. In one case we found out by talking with them afterwards that we were their first ever full swap, in an open room no less. There is just something about the ambiance at a party that has people leaning that way in the first place.

At hotel parties and similar places, we don't spend much time vetting anyone. If there is a mutual physical attraction then we getter done. Afterwards if he or she turns out to be an asshole it's no big deal. Round 2 just won't happen.

My wife and I was at a hotel takeover a while ago. We were in the playroom having sex when another couple peeked in through the shear curtains. We invited them to come up to the sex bench that Tracy was on so they could watch closer. 2 minutes later the guy was fucking Tracy and I had his wife bent over the side of the bench. (we never did get their names)