Pet Peeves

Couples who decide, in the heat of an MFM moment, that they like each other's company so much o totally exclude me! defeats the purpose of an MFM, or at least redefines to "MF M". Happened two different times, and both times I was hosting.
Granted, I only proceed to meet for MFM after one or more public meetings, where those couples could've decided not to go further. Now I feel silly asking couples after agreeing publicly "are you sure you want me participating?"

We've tailored our options so we only get emails from people we are interested in. Single males are not our cup of tea so we don't make our profile available to that segment of swingers. Everyone else that writes? Gets a response. The response is tailored to the original message. You send a two word email, you will likely get a two word response. As long as we've enjoyed this little hobby we've always found it interesting that the hardest thing is for people to politely say no thanks, we are not a good match.

Sure, it's not easy finding those words, but we'd rather politely let other couples know versus string them along or just not respond to their email. Yes, a non response is a response (sort of), we just prefer to send an actual response. Yes, no or maybe.......we always respond and generally within 2-days.

In the last week we have gotten a few e mails that run from a moderate length sincere interest from a traveling couple to an older single guy who copied and pasted the body of his profile to a young single guy whose only typing was "Mfm?" to a way too young (supposedly married) guy asking if he could watch us fuck...interests vary (along with ability to read and understand a profile).

Depending on the source of, and tone of an e mail, we either respond according to our ability/interest in getting together , we ignore the rude/blatantly crude ignorant ones or at times go back at the person (unfortunately usually a single guy and fairly young) and take them to task for their crude, rude, vulgar, insulting, trashy etc. type of contact. So, depending on the person who sent us an e mail, we either will or wont respond...or make them wish we hadn't! LOL

I'm not going to disagree that it's rude. It's the equivalent of someone listening to your question and then wandering off.

But it is a response, even if you neither like nor approve of the method.

We're not talking about delayed responses Allen. The quote you responded to is NEVER responding. That, sir, is rude.

We understand taking a few days to respond. We have the same challenges.

@VA: Exactly and it isn't rude if an answer is delayed.

AnJ: Not being able to discuss another's interest immediately nor for days is not being rude nor a "no interest" reply ordeal. My prior post was an actual couple days in our life; I may log in throughout the day but what wasn't mentioned was the 3ft thick concrete walls with jammers Mrs. 888 works behind, all day long, so that does leave very little time without interruptions.

OT: PP: Recently, a guy once asked me to make a decision about swapping one night at a party, Mrs. 888 was to the side and heard him, she cut in between us and let him know she makes her own decisions who she fucks, not me. Some couples run that way (having the male doing the talking/chatting/emailing, deciding levels of interest and follow through) and can answer right away, but FWIW we don't.

~Allen

Sometimes we hold off a week or two before replying. We (almost) always do, but sometimes it's delayed depending on our life at the moment.

Allen,

Well get it. They're busy.

But you know what? So are we. Yet we find time to reply even when we aren't interested. They even have a tool on this site that will allow you to respond "no thanks" with the click of a button. No typing required once it's initially set up.

Sorry, being busy isn't a free pass to be rude.

Mdnh: Welcome to the forums!

~Allen

“Couples that never respond to mail. It's really not that difficult.”

Sorry, it slipped our minds, but we did talk about you until we heard one of our kids enter the room to ask a question that dragged one of us away. We will talk a little more later and respond........

11pm: “Honey! Wake up and come to bed, you know falling asleep on the couch will make your back ache in the morning. Honey! I’m going to bed, goodnight!”

Set the coffee make and program for the morning. Off to bed. ZZZzzz.....

Next day........

Glad I made her coffee because I just missed her leaving....no kiss....aww.

Work......,,.,

Text: I’ve got to pick up our daughter and take her shopping (or some other place).

“Hi baby, I’m home, you going to be much longer?”

“We are still out, eat dinner without me”, she says.

She arrives with daughter who doesn’t live at home any more and says, “ I need to run her home in a few” (2 hour round trip)

:Ring ring ring:
“Hi daddy, I need your input on something. Can you give me some advice?”........

She leaves to take daughter home.

“Cortana, turn on Xbox One”

Two hours later........

“Honey, I’m home, we can talk now.”

Let me get to a save point an we will talk.

“Okay, I’m ready”.

:Ring Ring Ring:

“Mom, my dog is acting weird, what should I do?” Blah blah blah blah........

Work out while she is talking.....take a shower....

Still on the phone 2 hours later........

Turn on tv and wait patiently....time passes....

“Honey, wake up! I’m going to bed and you know that falling asleep on the couch is going to make your back ache...... I’ve had my shower and I’m going to bed! Wake up!......”

Program the coffee pot for the morning.........

So please understand that if we haven’t gotten back to you yet, we will hopefully soon enough.

:-)

~Allen

I've been non-monogamous since I can remember.

As a practical matter, sometimes I am, sometimes I am not.

But it is always there...

Couples that never respond to mail. It's really not that difficult.

I'm pre-wired. I figured out my sexual orientation and inability to even consider monogamy within a few months of my 16th birthday. I was fine being bi and didn't bother to hide my interests, but knew the whole non-monogamy thing was really going to fuck with my life.

Swinging is the most efficient way to get what I want, which is why I was excited to discover it was a thing, but I'm also fine with a more low key approach to multiple NSA partners.

Being poly/swing-minded is not, at least in my experience, pre-wired. It certainly isn't for me. It's something that's developed with time, and might otherwise not have had I been with someone else. Likewise, I can see how at some point in the future I might cease to be swing-minded. Some people might be (or believe they are) pre-wired that way. I dunno.

To me it's a comfort level and persona taste sort of thing, and those evolve.

I know it's a couple weeks old but:

I agree with Rabbit's analogy except the "LGBT is not a choice while swinging is" comment. I tend to think that if one group of people are pre-wired to be same-sex interested, other people are dual-sex interested then why aren't swingers predestined to be multi-partnered? Or maybe poly-minded folk are just born that way? I'm trying to think PC here without a lot of experience, so you'll have to bear with me a little.
:{)

My pet peeve.
People who don't update their profiles and when pressed you find out their photos and ages are from when they joined 10 years ago!!

Ergh!!! We are so tired of people without pictures on their profiles saying they want to meet because they like what they see on ours! They can’t post due to their “professional jobs”...”standing in their community”...etc.

PP: Using the word "kinky" as a euphemism for "horny" or "sexy". It ain't the same thing.

Or like the old joke has it, sexy is using a feather, kinky is if you use the whole chicken.

The 4th Amendment wasn't said to be in idanger of festering, so I found mention of it to be of less interest. Probably just a personal preference.

Don't forget the 4th Amendment.

Although I think most of us here would welcome an unreasonable search...

Within reason, of course...

I don't care, that's how I feel. Normally, that would be enough for me to close the thread and move on. Except I need help figuring out how my inability to communicate with free members and vice versa has any thing at all to do with the First Amendment, because that is slightly interesting.

we don't have a problem with free members, because we have them blocked. if they can't pony up a few bucks for a membership, they can't be too serious about entering the lifestyle. a lot are probably married mens looking for pictures or to cheat anyway

If you are a long term member, as many of us on the fora are, you would know that all kinds of improvements have been suggested by members, and completely ignored by SLS administration.

As a matter of fact, most of the "improvements" have actually made the forum experience less enjoyable, not more.

So excuse us long timers when we are somewhat short tempered with people who have fewer that twenty post and start pontificating on what SLS should do. They don't listen.

People can also do 3 months for $30, 6 months for $50, a year for $70, and of course lifetime for $150.

It's hard to see the prices as a lifetime member, but I had an old free account that I could check with.

I was actually surprised at how much I could do as a free member. For us, the big value in this site is knowing when and where LS parties are. I was able to see and actually RSVP to one we normally attend. Not all parties allow you to sign up as a free member though.

We think that SLS already has a satisfactory solution available to free members that want to communicate with or be contacted by other profiles.

Any free members interested in exploring the amenities of this site and communicating with paid members are free to do so. They can join the site and pay about $15 a month and if they decide the amenities are not worth that small investment....they can cancel their paid membership.

Mr & Mrs Uriah