LS Lessons I've Learned

Can’t believe I’m going to say this but, you did a good thing AR. It just proves that we can all be aholes but when called upon, also decent human beings.

It also proves a point that has been made in the fora many times. LS friends can be the best in times of need because you can be completely honest. She probably felt she could call anyone else she knew just in case the conversation shifted toward “have you ever cheated?” “Well, I fucked a guy at a club but he was a swinger so it’s ok.”

So a genuine “well done” AR.

~Scamp

....or.... "If drunk Andrew becomes your voice of reason, then your life has gone off the rails"

BT

AR:

“The King, motherfuckers. Nobody can beat my drama.”

That should be your new tagline...

You think you got drama? I see profiles all the time that claim to be drama free people or that they don't tolerate drama. Liars, and people who would throw a friend overboard at the first sign of trouble.

In the last week, I've exceeded all the drama I've ever experienced before. I AM THE FUCKING KING OF DRAMA!

So I have a friend, M, who I've known for almost 5 years. We met she and her husband on their first night ever to a club. I wasn't just her first swinger man, I was the first man other than her husband she ever had sex with in her life. We've been close ever since. She's one of the finest people I've ever met in my life, and she tolerates my insanity. We talk all the time, even though we've only played once in the last 2 years.

So I get a text from her last Wednesday at 8pm. "Can I call? It's an emergency." Yes, duh.

So her husband has been cheating on her for 2 years with someone from work and she just found out. They had a physical fight over his phone. She's devastated. He's decide that he wants the other woman and he's leaving her, and their children.

Happy Wednesday.

So I got the bourbon out and spent the next 5 hours on the phone. If drunk Andrew becomes your voice of reason, then your life has gone off the rails. I didn't give any advice. All I did was ask pointed questions to help her figure out for herself what she wants to do now. She talked herself into every decision she's made in the last week. All I did was listen and ask questions like "How does that make you feel?" "What in your mind is the best outcome given the shit you're in?" "How do you think you could make that happen?" "What is the good and the bad side of that to you?

She stopped eating for 3 days. I had to talk her through that. I even talked to her teenage son, who I've met before, with her, on speakerphone.

This is a woman I met almost 5 years ago at a club when I was drunk and just trying to get laid. Shit happens, if you let it.

It has been an interesting week. I like to think I've done some good. I never expected anything like this when Robin and I started swinging.

The King, motherfuckers. Nobody can beat my drama.

I find Mrs. Hotluvrs quite agreeable - BT (Captain Obvious)

Should we meet, I'd much prefer to be accepted than excepted.

"Everyone has a different perception on everything."... I DO hope he's wrong about my perception above...

BT

I agree with your disagreement

I disagree.

BT

Everyone has a different perception on everything. I've been having those moments a lot lately. Especially when i'm not even thinking about something and i overhear someone saying something, I'm like huh "I've never thought of that like that". I'm sure i'm going to have a lot of those moments especially being new the the lifestyle and always learning. Anyways what i'm really trying to say is a reaction to reading " when straight people say they are strait and have an open mind== bi", I would perceive that is just someone who can except different ideas or feedback without judging not being bisexual

Everyone has a different perception on everything. I've been having those moments a lot lately. Especially when i'm not even thinking about something and i overhear someone saying something, I'm like huh "I've never thought of that like that". I'm sure i'm going to have a lot of those moments especially being new the the lifestyle and always learning. Anyways what i'm really trying to say is a reaction to reading " when straight people say they are strait and have an open mind== bi", I would perceive that is just someone who can except different ideas or feedback without judging not being bisexual

LS Lesson No. 46 (revised/corrected)

More often than not, folks have a tendency to treat you the way you’ve trained them to.

To consistently tolerate abuse, neglect, disrespect, etc., is to prescribe it.

If you find yourself at a loss as to why so many seem to constantly treat you poorly, the answer may well be found in your mirror.

Or, maybe not. It’s worth a look though.

(Misspellings in LSs are hereby proscribed) ;^/

Tramp

“Tramp, you meant ‘prescribe’ not ‘proscribe.’”

I’m known for my misspelling of words, large and small.

Tramp

Corollary to Lesson 46:

People treat you exactly how they want to treat you. The more disordered a personality is--and there are plenty of highly disordered people in the LS--the worse they treat you. It has exactly zero to do with you, what you deserve, and how anyone should be treated, and often what you tolerate gracefully. Disordered people thrive on negative supply as well as positive feedback! People do not treat others how they wish to be treated themselves, or how others wish to be treated, there are a vast number of people treating others how they damn well please. These are not good people. They simply do not care what's okay.

This is why it's important to have healthy boundaries, to protect yourself, and respect yourself... if someone is not treating you well, this is not a relationship you want.

(Tramp, you meant "prescribe" not "proscribe." Prescribe means to recommend. Proscribe means to forbid. I wouldn't correct you, except that you said exactly the opposite of what you meant.)

LS Lesson No. 46:

More often than not, folks have a tendency to treat you the way you’ve trained them to.

To consistently tolerate abuse, neglect, disrespect, etc., is to proscribe it.

If you find yourself at a loss as to why so many seem to constantly treat you poorly, the answer may well be found in your mirror.

Or, maybe not. It’s worth a look though.

Tramp

Single Female profiles that start with "WE are looking for..."

...probably aren't single females. :-(

Lesson # ???

Text that reads, "I am straight with an open mind" = Bi

Shhhhhhh, a troll made this thread and if you put too many exclamation points at the end of your sentence, you’ll awaken him and he’ll spew more bowel from his lungs.

I can't believe this LS Lesson hasn't appeared:

Don't feed a troll!

Trolls are narcissistic, Dark Triad personalities. They thrive on destruction, chaos, and misery of others. They do what they do for attention. If they cannot get positive attention, they will be just as satisfied with negative attention. Starve them of attention, they go away and look for it elsewhere.

Because of the highly sexualized atmosphere in the LS, these types of toxic personalities abound. Some of them are quite charming when they want to be. That's the A-side. Watch out for the B-side of the vinyl.

We start every LS adventure with reminding each other “no plans, no expectations”. The point for us is that we are opening our minds to whatever adventures the night/trip will bring us. We aren’t abandoning hope, but rather setting aside our preconceived notions of what will make the experience successful in favor of what fate and fortune may send our way. Regardless, we always go home together so we are never disappointed :D

"No worries, my friend. I don't believe you've offended anyone."

Tramp, speak for yourself. I for one, am highly offended.

Involution, send me $10 in cash and the contact info for your favorite SF and we'll call it even.

BT

...don't laugh SMs, this shit works! Trust me...

...belated welcome (back), Involution.

What Tramp said....

I can understand. A good rule of thumb that most people here tend to follow is to not take very seriously much off anything that shows up close to my name. Lol

Oh, I also have a general antipathy toward slogans, so I am often tempted to point out how slogans fail to be accurate. This is probably a result of watching slogans win elections as long as I can remember. Again, sorry if I took this thread too seriously.

No worries, my friend. I don’t believe you’ve offended anyone.

Possible so. Although I joined alst december, (I think), my account was dormant after spending most of that time with a gf I had I broken up with, who decided she really did not want to play. I only returned recently after we split up again, so I haven't been able to read every thread from start to finish. My apologies for offending anyone. I am rather analytical, so I tend to write my replies to be specific in what I address.

First off, let me give you a belated welcome to the forums.

As for your last post...

“Allow me to rephrase that in a way that might be easier to comprehend.”

Involution, our comprehension skills are doing ok, as far as I know; however, you might have missed what’s actually going on here a little.

This thread was something that I started a while back just to record some silly thoughts, as most of mine tend to be. It’s not meant to be anything serious.

The reference that CatchyNickname made earlier to my Lesson No. 44 post was, in all likelihood, a humorous remark of the self-depreciation type.

I don’t think that CatchyNickname seriously meant that they always set low expectations in life, but were instead just making a joke.

I could be wrong.