One thing I haven't seen mentioned is checking to see if the other party looked at your profile. If they did look and there was no response, I would think that's a pretty decent indicator that they received the message and just aren't interested. If they haven't checked your profile it might be worth a follow up message.
"...showed the date the message was opened."
But a message could be read in it's entirety and replied to without "opening" it - so that wasn't really a great indicator.
I miss the system on here when we first joined. After we sent a message, I want to say that we had a pop up of some sort that showed the date the message was opened. At that time, if a message was opened and no reply came, it was easy to determine the other couple was not interested.
Don't say "alternative messaging platforms" too loudly. The admins might be listening!
Entertainment wagers only, gotcha!
And yep, alternate messaging platforms are preferable :)
"So is it a good bet that if I can see the message in history, that it did get sent?"
Sure - but being sent doesn't mean everything is working on the recipients end.
I often have indications of new messages but can't get the system to display them. Eventually I'll get them and hopefully nothing was time sensitive.
There's a reason why many people migrate to another messaging platform once they determine a minimal level of attraction and compatibility.
"So is it a good bet that if I can see the message in history, that it did get sent?"
You have a number of people telling you of a glitch on the send side and you want to bet on messages getting received 100% of the time? Huh. Well, don't make it a big bet and think of it as entertainment.
One data point says messages can be like Beetlejuice, appearing when mentioned, but that's probably not likely either.
As a matter of fact, just the other morning I messaged a lady that I have had quite a bit of communication with. She never replied, so later in the day I sent a message letting her know that my feelings were bruised, and, of course, the response was that she didn’t see it. I gave her the time stamp, and lo and behold there it was!
I think she snubbed me.
HARTWELL
It has always been my belief that if you can see the messages in your history, they have been delivered.
Virgin blood... hmm.... she was not a virgin, but that last guy's wife sure felt like one!
"I’ve sometimes crafted a message, hit “send” only to have it disappear."
And...
"...what you send goes somewhere into hyperspace."
It's all sorcery.
I'm no expert, but I do know that first you must determine what manner of sorcery caused the message to disappear. With that knowledge, you can determine the best form of necromancy to apply to reincarnate the dead message.
Wish I could help, but I'm fresh out of eye of newt, wing of bat and blood of virgin. Supply chain issues ya understand.
Look at you guys, with the funky message insight LOL
So is it a good bet that if I can see the message in history, that it did get sent?
@DB
I’ve gotten in the habit of doing one of two things:
Either create the message in the message tab, copy it, hit send. If it disappears I paste it again and hit send. Eventually it goes.
The second way is to compose it somewhere else and copy and paste it.
Yes, it’s a few more steps but it saves the frustration of taking the time to write something and have it disappear.
~LMK
I think there is a glitch in the system, that if you access your messages the wrong way, what you send goes somewhere into hyperspace. It seems to me like you almost have to click on the messages tab from the home page, or have a good chance of it not working.
Just last night, i was trying to respond to a couple messages. I had ben going back and forth between the Forums, profiles, and messages. I spent a bit of time trying to put together a decent message, hit send, and POOF! They just disappeared.
Said to hell with it, went to bed, and tried again this morning, and it seemed to work.
LoveMeKNot We also find it very inconsiderate and downright rude when someone couple or single can't take a minute and at least say no thanks. We do!
Like others here, I’ve sometimes crafted a message, hit “send” only to have it disappear. Very frustrating. So I’ve taken to writing it elsewhere, and copying it into the message. If it doesn’t send, I can paste it again.
I’ve never received a second message asking if I’ve gotten the first.
Now, that said, I do try to respond to all messages, even if it’s a polite, “No thank you.” I HAVE gotten follow-up messages asking why I’m not interested or trying to convince me otherwise. Or even worse, another message a few weeks later AFTER I’ve already politely declined. I do not respond (again). So if they have somehow lost their message history and don’t realize I’ve already respectfully declined, then they may think I didn’t respond. But that’s their issue, not mine.
And, for the record, it’s not just SM’s. I’ve messaged a few couples and never heard back. Which, I believe, speaks more to their character than mine. It’s hard not to take it personally but I’m growing a thicker skin. As Ron says, just move on. There are plenty of other options out there. Thank goodness.
Part of the issue is that a large number of folks on here don't ever reply to any messages. Case in point I sent messages to seven different couples and each one was courteous and not pushy or crass. All the folks were online several times during the day. Not a single reply, not a "No Thanks" or anything. I understand if their message boxes get blown up but it seems that simple courtesies are beyond many of the folks. Even if I get messages from folks I have the courtesy to say not interested. And I've gotten my fair share of them. Seems that like although everyone has different interests for play but their ideas of courtesy are lacking. Thoughts, counter views.
We agree that a follow-up message is not necessarily a bad idea. Most of those we follow-up with are kind and the usual responses are that they missed it, didn't get it, or forgot to answer. We've received messages and, with real life intervening, have forgotten to reply and have appreciated a second message.
So, our vote is that a second message is often worth your time.
I've sometimes led into a second message with, Hey I remember messaging you but I see no history...
I've never had any nasty replies.
Thanks for the input folks!
We've had an entire (recent) message thread disappear for days in the message tab. But if we went to the profile and messaged from there, all of the messages were there. A few days later everything was back in the message tab.
So while I hate to get multiple messages from the same person, I would send a second, but that's all. The system here is weird sometimes.
It happens more often than reported in the forums - it's so common that it usually only gets mentioned by forum newbies looking for answers.
Last time it happened to me was last night - luckily it was a short message that I was able to completely recreate, then copy before making another attempt at sending. It went through on the second attempt and was almost immediately replied to - so I'm pretty sure that the recipient didn't fall into any of the categories of profile that a message cannot be sent to (in process of being deleted, in the time-out-box for transgressions, etc).
Young2Ginger,
I just checked. The last report in the forums was two days ago.
I hadn't heard of messages disappearing... although now I remember it happened when there was some kind of update to this site. But I'm not aware of it going on other than that.
Maybe a message just to ask if the first one went through might be in order. And I generally say something like "Please let us know, even if it's a "no".
If you read the posts here, then you are aware that others have experienced issues with having posts disappear into the ether..
In the past I have sent a follow up just asking if my first post had gone through as the messaging system has been having issues.
In most the of cases I got a response back. Some said various forms of thank you , but no. More than half said they never got a post. I then resent my first one with note that that was what it was.
Usually a pleasant exchange followed.
Its easy.. people have a life , maybe you didn't read what they had in their profile, maybe they are just rude, maybe ..maybe.. maybe.. why worry and move on to the next adventure.. Its life !
