How was your first event?

My first event was many years ago with my ex. We joined a private swinger club and went to one of their monthly events at a hotel in the midwest. The event was more of a fun dance party with sexy outfits/themes and all the sex was in the private hotel rooms. It was great fun and we met people we ended up swinging with for years.

My first event with C was just a few years ago at a swinger club near Baltimore. Upstairs was like a dance party. Downstairs was like a multi-room sex den. It was kind of creepy in multiple ways, so we just toured through and went back upstairs. People weren't as friendly and kind of cliquey. Never went back.

My first event was last night. Kinda scary and exciting The hubby and I were looking for a single male... Didnt work out like we wanted but we still had a crazy good time! Just dont go in with any expectations and let it happen

“ Just wanted to get some stories of everyone's' first event when they just started.”

He did ask for everyone’s.

~Allen

Since the base note was from an SM, this could have a completely different context when you're talking couples. While I might be somewhat blown away as an SM to see some of the things we've seen as a couple, as a couple, we weren't really looking for that in our "first event". It would be a completely different story as a single (man or woman).

We have been to parties where we did open room play with 4 other guys. It was the first ever party for 2 of the 4 guys. I have no doubt that those 2 guys had a blast, but had that been a first couples experience (basically a 5 guy gang bang with the male half getting no other play time but his wife), that would very likely overwhelm most (if not all) newbies.

In this case, the SMs just happened to be in the right place at the right time, so I otherwise have no words of wisdom, other than the norm of being polite, patient, and respectful at all times.

No, wait.

I think it was at a club when 8 of us were in a room and Mrs. 888 was being shocked at 50Kv by a guy and I leaned in to give her a kiss on the shoulder while I was being shocked by a female from a different electrode system and got the piss knocked out of me. It felt like a bat to the mouth and hurt like fuck, the only thing to take my mind off it was when one lady asked me to lay back on a bench and she face sit me and cummed in my mouth several times while making out with another female.

:SHRUGS:

Everyone asked permission before doing then too.

~Allen

Our first event, don’t remember, it may have been the foursome on the folding chair with about 10 different people at different times throughout the foursome endeavor at a swinger weekend bike rally/cookout.

:SHRUGS:

It was really good an everyone that came and went asked permission.

~Allen

Our very first event was a Meet & Greet. No sex was allowed on-prem. You tend to go with what you find that's available in your area though.

Even still, we were very nervous just doing the Meet & Greet. After going 2 or 3 times we got much more comfortable with the venue and the people (and the LS in general), but touching someone, other than perhaps dancing with them, never even came into the picture. I think these types of parties are a great way for newbies to start,

I think this is an interesting discussion and it brings up the question of "Does consent have to be given for every step from a simple touch to penetration along the way or is there a point where it is implied that things can happen fluidly and naturally unless the other person says no to something?" BTW this also applies to simply touching like say rubbing someone's ass if it is sticking out while you walk by (someone you know not random strangers). It seems that many are saying that if a man touches a woman without being implicitly told he can he is wrong. I say this is not true especially if there is a degree of familiarity and you are attending a swingers event where some degree of loosening of the rules is expected. Now I'm not talking about some random guy coming up and slipping his dick in while the woman is distracted but we have encountered situations where we felt consent was given (let's go to a room and have fun) and then when there be asked if it is okay to do this or that at every step. We are of a mindset that if we are in the situation where it has progressed to playing then almost anything goes (there are limits like no anal). At a certain point I have wanted to yell (and so has the wife) "Why do you think we went into a room with you?" Of course you also have the aspect of a more "public" or group setting and that is where consent is less implied and must be given however in such a situation being felt up (no penetration) is somewhat expected at least from people you know. Case in point she sat on a guys lap in a hot tub and his hands immediately went to the sides of the tub like he was scared it was a trap even after he said he wanted some boobs to play with (this was a guy we had played with before and would have then except his reaction). Once again a total stranger should not come and touch anyone at random but if we have talked especially at multiple events coming up and rubbing our ass hello is welcomed. Oh and some folks do this which is great but many including those we have played with seem scared to until they get permission. BTW this was not the case 20 years ago where folks we knew were less "scared" to touch although consent for sex/penetration was still needed but simply going to a room was enough to be considered consent without all the "is it okay to do this or that?"

In that case.. HL you are right.. she has same fantasy.

Didnt they make a song about that one? All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You Heart - Brigade
It was a rainy night when he came into sight
Standing by the road, no umbrella, no coat
So I pulled up along side and I offered him a ride
He.

Oh wait that was for as baby! Its still all good!

But at some clubs some guys have been pigs and she kicked them out of room LOL

“ we went along with the flow, little did i realize that when i was giving david a bj that a guy named kevin would get behind me and enter me“

I think that some of you may have missed that this couple had been role playing and fantasizing about stranger sex. My wife loves stranger sex so the idea of an unexpected cock from behind is a turn on. Of course, there still has to be some consent, which is my job. I’m there to keep her safe and secure. If she’s bent over giving me a bj, it’s easy for me to allow or deny a guy the chance to fuck her.

Ron/Kathy ... yeah Ive seen a couple guys tossed from our home club. One of them, the guy came into OUr room uninvited and that was after he had already been given a verbal warning not to open closed doors AND I clearly told him on his tour (we were hosting giving tours that night) not to open closed doors. Found out later he was given TWO verbal warnings not to open closed doors (the 2 employees who warned him didnt know the other one had warned him)... he had way more chances that he should have.

We had a friend who was at a club with a male friend of hers. they were in the hot tub and he was sitting on the side getting blown by her. Next thing she knows, a guy in the hot tub (whom she had casually chatted with at some point during the night, but never about playing) shoves his dick in her from behind. That guy got kicked out faster than you can say "Adios"

Sorry but there is no going with the flow when there is lack of consent.

Rule #1 - no touching without consent (it's also common sense)

We saw that.. nope not happening unless you have been invited into the "honey pot" by us first! .

@DavidCarwin ... wait youre leaving something out there. Your story sounds like you were blowing hubby and a stranger you hadnt conversed with just came up behind you and entered without consent.

A month ago we were invited to a pool party. For the last six years we had been role playing about having sex with strangers. So when the party started we went along with the flow, little did i realize that when i was giving david a bj that a guy named kevin would get behind me and enter me. It was the most wonderful feeling

"When I asked about semi private areas, they told me they used to have them, but due to a women recently being killed in NYC in a semi-private room, they no longer have them for the protection of women."

That is weird on the club's part ... there are dozens and dozens of LS clubs all over the country with private and semi-private rooms and no murders at them ... I think they are overreacting to one isolated incident by removing all private rooms.

Oh, and this was last night, Saturday 05SEP20. Club is located in Hollywood. Good mix of couples (black, white, interracial). SMs were all white. Club was very 420 friendly, which we don't indulge in, but others might like.

Hi Hotluvrs and RusticMagic - So, this was Club Labyrinth in Los Angles. It was the first night they reopened since COVID, and was a theme night (kink/bdsm, in a separate room from the main area). They capped the room at 50% normal (supposedly) to help keep safe distance. It is two floors, maybe 1500 SQL ft of space. When I asked about semi private areas, they told me they used to have them, but due to a women recently being killed in NYC in a semi-private room, they no longer have them for the protection of women. As for single men, I was pretty sure they posted on their website no SM before midnight, but I was not able to find that the next day. Our thinking is that they were strapped for guests after being shut down for so long and opened up for extra money (SM pay more than couples). And no, no private areas at all. Downstairs had a bunch of thin transparent sheets creating an open set of "rooms" that everyone could see from the rest of the floor. Upstairs was the theme room with BDSM fetish toys and two open beds with seats around to watch. The SM would hover next to couples hoping to be invited to join. I had to be firm to one guy and let him know to leave us alone. The other couple that arrived at the same time as us told us that it was their first time visiting (but the women was in the lifestyle and goes to clubs a lot, the guy was totally new). I overheard her complaining to the staff about the music and SM too, that it was killing her mood. As my wife and I were leaving, it looked like they were finally starting a bit of MFM with a few SM watching (just making out, nothing more).
I did ask the "bar" host if this was normal, and she said no, it is usually pretty hot and heavy, but did agree the SMs were a bit odd.
Not a great start at a club. But, we made it fun, watched people and made out, then took it back to our hotel for some real fun. I'm looking into some other clubs (in Los Angles and San Francisco) for a follow-up. Nice thing, it didn't scare my wife off, and we had some good discussions on what we will are OK with for each other in terms of play with others (boy, do I love this woman!).
So, it was a win, as we grew closer and communicated very well. And, discovered that we are better at this than we thought. Ready now for the net step of meeting couples one on one to see if there is chemistry (have a few that we are working on a schedule with) and maybe real house party. Regards, B&R

hotluvrs we know of more than one "swingers club" that in a previous life was just that a club or bar. Basically one large open area with a dance floor, stripper pole (added if it has one), a few tables and chairs, and some second hand couches. Even though they are BYOB the actual bar has not been removed and there are still bar stools. There is usually a bartender of sorts as well as DJ both of whom have dubious skills. Frequently the music is way too loud and wrong genera for the crowd in these places.

Thankfully we also know of a couple built around the concept of being a swingers club with pretty much everything you need from a better version of what I described above (if the music is still loud on the dance floor area), to private rooms with locking doors. Oh and there is plenty of public area to have fun in as well. Our favorite also has a pool and hot tub and a covered area with an outdoor fireplace for cooler weather. Yes the outside area is blocked from prying eyes so folks can be comfortable doing what they want.

SoCal_Couple,

I’m sorry to hear about your disappointing night. What night of the week was that? It’s possible that there was just a simply misunderstanding regarding when single men are allowed. Many clubs change the rules for single guys based on whether or not it is the weekend.

Some clubs, such as Trapeze in Ft Lauderdale, allow single guys on some days, yet still keep some area off limits to them. I’m assuming your club did not have a single guy free zone.

Every club is different, but I find it strange that they did not have some private/semi private areas. Even very experienced swingers want a bit of private space occasionally.

So, we went to our first a swinger club in Los Angles this weekend - going without expectations, just wanting to have fun. We got there when it opened (9 pm) to get a tour and ask questions. Another couple also arrived at the same time, and we were both the first guests. Club seemed clean and the staff friendly, though the music really was bad (too loud and heavy rap, not really good for the small start) and everything was wide open public, without any semi-private areas. Since we were complete newbies, we knew that we'd not be starting things (having no idea of expectations - we wanted to see how people acted first), but we did find a nice big beanbag type bed to make out on. By 10 pm, there was maybe 20 people, with an odd mix of single men who creeped us out with their hovering and just weirdness. I asked the staff what the deal was, as I was under the assumption that single men where only allowed in after 12. Was told that they allow singles at anytime (which I pointed out was not what I'd been told, and was creating an awkward situation). The SMs just killed the whole vibe and by midnight when we left disappointed, no one in the club had gone past just making out. Really lame and a let down. Wife and I would have totally gone first and started the parties, if only the SMs would not have been there.
We are hoping to try again at a different club or house party with better rules and vibe.

Just went to our first one yesterday... I, the male, kind of hated it. Reminded me of a typical club scene, but with bedrooms for fucking in (very few seemed occupied).

Met a few cool people, but overall.... meh

Our first event was in long island years ago. We went with no expectations and it was basically exactly what we thought and what the host described to us. a solid host makes a huge difference in our opinion. every event we went to as newbs, we made sure to talk to the hosts beforehand and then when we got there.

anthonygv92 because we are a couple and you are a single male our experience is going to be vastly different especially considering the first event we went to did not allow single males. That being said I am betting you are asking what couples look for in a single male. Honestly for us and many others that would be someone (single or couple) who is not too eager or someone who goes around "talking" to everyone only spending a moment before moving on making them look desperate (the exception would be saying hi to folks you know after you come in and are getting settled in). What gets our attention is the guy who comes in and perhaps sits or stands by himself and observes the crowd for a bit. Then he simply says hi to people and makes an effort to engage in small talk of a non-sexual nature for a bit. Perhaps he is even able to carry on a good conversation beyond "the weather" of course avoiding those inflammatory topics everyone should avoid. Should his drink run out and he need to go get a refill he actually will ask if anyone in the group (husbands, wives, single women) need anything. Of course the events we go to are BYOB and in reality no one is going to let a single male they do not know bring them a drink but the point is he asked EVERYONE. In other words be polite and a gentleman allowing the couple(s) or single female(s) to turn the subject to sex and invite you to join.

It is important to note (and I bet you are aware of this) that as a single male you really are not a "hot commodity" and as such the biggest mistake you can make is forgetting that. For every couple truly looking to interact with a single male at an event there are 50 couples or more not interested. In fact even those that play with single males tend not to be looking for them unless they are at an event that has a "single male night" infrequently. The key to being the single male that does get invited to play is as described above. Make yourself stand out from the crowd by your actions.

BTW this assumes the event is a party (club, hotel, or house) or meet a greet. If the event is more an orgy, gang bang, or something equally planned to be everyone getting sexually involved you can skip the small talk and drink offer but still be polite and a gentleman. Oh and not looking too eager or desperate is always important.

anthony,

You want advice? Here's mine. You're a young single man who appears to be fit and good looking. GET A GIRLFRIEND, and then bring her along into the swinger life. If you can't get laid in vanilla world, swinger world isn't much easier.