This far too common an event in the LS. Getting ghosted/punked has happened to us so many times we've lost count. Unfortunately it is almost always the single men who are the worst ones for this nonsense. Many have claimed to be in the car headed our way when they ghosted. What the hell is the point of that???
@sa - Did that come out right that you basically get punked (aka - stood up/ghosted) just about every time? If so, that sucks.
These days, if it's a couple and they sound nice, many times we'll just have them over for dinner/drinks. Many cannot host and by coming to the house, they themselves know that they are not getting punked. Even if for some reason we didn't play, we ALWAYS have great conversation and they get a good meal out it and we all get new LS friends.
I'm a divorced male, and stories like this always cast a negative light on single people. In my wildest dreams, I would never make a date with anyone for anything and not show up. Makes me think this was a clever kid the hoodwinked this nice folks. BigSavoo
Only one time we can recall that we didn’t get punked.
We always made sure we had a plan b set up, just in case.
What PP said. We only meet new folks at our events now. That way, whether they show or not or we're just not a match, we've got 70 other people we can enjoy the evening with.
We’ve set up some meetings with little success and have also been “punked.” Note that the term “ghosted” is more widely used and better describes someone who just disappears.
In our efforts to find a unicorn, we’ve reached out to many women and engaged in some lengthy conversions. We’ve met two and had one come over. The two stayed in touch but suddenly disappeared and the latter turned out to be a meth-head and we didn’t play. My GF usually engages with the other women as she likes to have control of the situation especially since most women feel more comfortable chatting with the woman as opposed to the man.
We discovered that many woman just love to flirt. That is, they find satisfaction in chatting with others with little or no intention of meeting or playing. It’s like reading an article about sex in a woman’s magazine--women get some satisfaction reading the article without having sex. I don’t know how many times we hit it off online with a woman then tried to meet only to get excuses about some sickness or injury, monthly bill, etc. I even saw this first hand with my GF where, during a rocky point in our relationship, she went to AFF to flirt with other men. She enjoyed all the positive comments men gave her: “You look gorgeous,” “pretty,” “sweetheart,” etc. all terms of endearment unhappy or unsatisfied women want to hear. I believe that many women find solace on play sites where they can live out fantasies without ever having to meet or get dirty. There are also the men pretending to be women, scammers, etc.
Based on comments from others, we’re not alone and fakes and flakes are common. I guess that’s what you get online where people are anonymous and don’t have to look you in the eye.
My GF is easily discouraged and has pretty much given up, although I continue to try. We have found that FA, a large club about an hour away, is the place to go. Every time we find other women to play—not just one but several on the same night. We’re not into full swap but she has always found other women to play with and twice the two of us have shared one. While it would be nice to find a local, it’s hard not to go out of your way for a sure thing.
We are on Daytona Beach...we won't not show if you want to make some plans!
I just read over the original post again and it states they were in contact for about a week prior to the scheduled date and then got stood up.
It all depends on what you are looking for. If you are looking for one night of fun, maybe you don't need much contact prior to meeting. However if you are looking for something long term it would make sense to find out more than basic information prior to meeting. Why waste time?
As a woman who plays solo I have never been stood up, but I also have never met a man unless I have been in contact with him for at least two weeks. Those that push me to meet sooner are not a match for me.
Everyone has to do what feels right for them. If someone doesn't show up for a meeting be thankful! They obviously were not a good match for you.
Manwhore? Gentlemanwhore? Are you guys telling me you've been getting paid for this? These forums have educated us on the use of slut/Ho/whore and if I recall correctly whores get paid. WTF! All this time I've been offering it up for free and I coulda been another Fred Garvin male prostitute.
You mean in GentlemanWhoreLife...
...agreed/ditto/what the puppetmaster said.
BT
Funny thing, I've been stood up WAY more times in vanilla life than in ManWhoreLife. Both in absolute numbers and in percentages (if I had to put a number on it, about 40%).
Yeah, I can probably stand to overhaul my vanilla vetting protocols.
Thanks for the posting. It happens to us all. I’ve been stood up by couples and ladies . . . it goes with territory, but still is no fun. Just enjoy the location so plan “b” can be a fun date!
My second experience in the LifeStyle was the result of this happening to a couple. They had a dinner date with a guy, with plans to go to their home after dinner. I was next on their list if this guy didn’t show. The guy showed up, they ordered, and seemed to connect. After eating, the guy excused himself to go to the restroom but never came back. They were stuck with his tab. When I met with them the next evening, He jokingly told me he was going with me if I went to the restroom. That guy will never know the good time he missed :-)!
Ditto Mayhem8!
We've been punked enough that we now meet new people only at our parties. That way if they don't show, we still have a group of our established friends, and hopefully a few new ones that actually showed up, there to keep things rolling.
This is one of the reasons we like LS events over just 2 on 2 dates. If it's a couple and things went well via Message, we'll just have people over our house. If we get any funny feeling at all, we have 3 restaurants we like all within 6 miles of our house.
We have a LOT of opportunity via LS events near our house. There are at least 5 or 6 house/hotel parties alone within 30-40 mins of us. If we're going to travel, we prefer to do that to a party or to someone's house because you know that you won't get punked/ghosted. If we plan to meet a couple that RSVPd to a LS event and they don't show, there are plenty of other people to meet and potentially play with.
We also get the opportunity to play with multiple people at a LS event, though if you find and click with the right couple. multiple rounds of play with the same couple can be a lot of fun as well.
Has not happened to us, yet. But so far we've only arranged to meet at the other couple's home and a casino. In the case of the home, I guess a true dick could give you the wrong address just to fuck with you. But at a casino...plenty of fun stuff to do.
they were fools to stand yaw up, your wife is fucking HOT, what a ass
We've been punked a couple of times. We actually was talking to a couple whom we were getting together with at a public place, about 30 minutes before we was supposed to meet. We waited in anticipation, this couple would not show us face pictures before we was to meet. If they showed up they never approached us, I guess we repulsed them, I don't know. Lesson learned, we never meet without seeing face pictures. They blocked us after that. We finf it much better for us to go to party's or events.
Well, you don't know that they didn't show up. Very well could have been that off kilter guy who was sitting in the corner staring/ not staring at you the whole time. However, whenever someone ghosts the day of or an hour or two ahead of time something awry is in the works. We will let them know they are going to be blocked and give them time to respond. On a rare occasion it happens to be circumstances beyond their control but they most often will inform ahead of time and try to reschedule.
Not trying to burst your bubble here.
You do not know why the person didn't show. You just know they didn't. Instead of thinking that they punked you, perhaps something actually happened. While this was not in the lifestyle, this has happened to me a few times. One was at a closing to a house I was selling. The buyer had a heart attack and died before getting to the closing. Another time someone got in an accident on the way. So you never know is our motto.
This is why we try to arrange meets at locations we enjoy. That way if something happens, we still enjoy the evening.
Not sure if there is any point to this other than a public service announcement to be cautious - but you already knew that :)
Girlfren and I spend about a week getting chatted up by a "Unicorn that has permission to play without her husband". I was leery from the get go and warned my girl not to spend too much effort in texting until we meet - seemed too good to be true (sure nuff!). Had something set up to meet at a very busy location and "she" went dark about an hour after the agreed upon time. As we waited and got dinner we realized we were being stood up we laughed about it and wondered what sort of warped mind gets off on something like this. Probably some jilted lover or crazy ex boyfriend playing games - in the end honestly we just feel bad for whoever it really is in the pictures being used. Blocked the profile but what else can ya do, really? Not sure if naming and shaming is appropriate, probably not so will just leave it at that,
Its funny, after mentioning this to some other contacts we have made on this site (mostly positive) all of them had a similar response about not bothering with singles for this very reason. Got to hear some entertaining stories.
Just a friendly reminder that its never a good idea to spend too much time or energy with chat/email/whatever before meeting somebody. Thats a lesson learned from the old online dating days and applies here as well.
Stay safe everyone!
