We got punked - lesson learned!

These are some fantastic tips - thank you for sharing.

This type of behavior can, and does, happen in all sorts of relationships. In Business, the saying is, "Let the buyer beware." That same reasoning applies to expectations in the Lifestyle. Don't carry a grudge, move on.

OK, that was hours ago, I hope it went well for you. We just got home from a club. We met a new couple and made plans to meet with them again, and we ran into a couple we've known for 8 years and fucked them again tonight. This is why we just do the clubs.

We’re at a bar & grill right now meeting a couple we met on sls

"if you only meet in a club then you're eliminating a pretty big chunk of folks out there."

In our experience, that's the chunk of folks who SHOULD be eliminated.

We don't use SLS to meet people at all. Everytime we tried, it didn't go well. We've always had success at just going to clubs with no date and no plan. If you're not socially awkward, you will meet people that way. The only reason we joined SLS, many years ago, was because a couple we met at a club had a big regular house party that they used SLS to organize. They invited us and said we should join the site. Best thing about SLS, and any other website is they give you the information about the clubs and events.

Actually, we meet most people here on sls and meet somewhere like a bar and grill.

If going to clubs/parties already gives you access to more people than you have time to play with and you're happy with what you're finding at the clubs/parties, limiting your play time to parties just means you may be missing out on people that you don't have time for anyway. It is one of the most efficient uses of play time for people with busy schedules.

Holly, We are primarily interested in couples. The reason we choose to meet singles in a club is to scare off the less serious ones and to give us easy alternatives if they decide to flake.

As it is we have a very busy personal life with work, family, friends and volunteer time. When we add in our lifestyle activities scheduling gets tough so we prioritize. We are definitely having success meeting people both at clubs and from SLS, so if we are eliminating a block of people they frankly are not our priority.

JC, if you only meet in a club then you're eliminating a pretty big chunk of folks out there. The simple reality is many won't go to a club for any number of reasons. They may play often or be a nube. Some people just won't go. What is different is the shift in not being forthright about not going to one once you may mention it.

Funly, in our case it was singles, which we meet for the first time in clubs. Worked out fine for us.

yes, it seems like the flakes are getting worse and worse. flakes and fakes

We’ve been in the lifestyle for a long time and really never had a lot of flakes till recently.

I've been in he lifestyle for almost 30 years and have seen this a few times. I was in business for over 40 years, and saw this 100's of times. "I'm on my way", whether to transact business (as in me getting paid) or sex (as in me getting laid) and no show, no call. People seem to lack integrity today, sadly.

@ScreaminEagles - We've really not run into the ex-married guy posing as a couple issue but, if we did, then we'd just be more diligent up front about voice verifying. If a supposed couple is opposed to that, then you know it's highly likely to be a waste of time.

We too have been punked many times like most everyone in this lifestyle probably have. What really gets me is there are people on this site that advertise they are a couple but have been divorced for years and the guy still trying to meet other couples as a couple until hours before the meeting. I know this one person particularly because my nephew works with him! I confronted him but he denies it. Just because they are on this site don't make anyone legit.

Yes we have had this happen a few times.
We learned
not to trade nudes
Not to get into long drawn out chats
Voice or video verify for single women

We like to learn a few basics, trade a reasonably current pic and then let's schedule a public meet. If they aren't on the same page we dump them. We aren't interested in games.

we have had that happen to us, we gave up trusting people and like others ask for pics and phone numbers. honestly we have started going to clubs because at a club you get what you see LOL. Everyone at the club is there for the same reason you are and in some ways is sort of relaxing. the hardest part for us is my beautiful wife is heavy and a lot of single guys shy away from us Ibelieve for that reason....too bad because the ones that do definitely are missing out.

well keep your chin up and if you can try some clubs they can be fun.

“The next best thing is one sweep away (or one profile away).

It has happened to me several times. A few months I started talking to this lady who seemed to liked me because of my ethnic background, we clicked, conversation was more intense each day, we shared all kinds of content until we agreed to meet. I work weekends but I had someone cover my shift, I bought a new blazer, new cologne and shoes (I still have the cologne haha), I got me a fresh haircut and was ready... then she disappeared... we were gonna meet for dinner at 8, it was about 7:30 she text me she is meeting with friends and she would text me when she’s done and I never heard from her again.... next day I opened her profile here and there it was a certification from a couple 20+ years older than us... I didn’t ask questions... just enjoyed my new clothes and shoes.

CT, I hope you called him out on his assholish behavior! I also ask what people are wearing. "Xcolor button up shirt and jeans" makes easier and avoids the awkward long gaze that many people mistake of checking them out which encourages single guys to approach. So awkward!

We just don't make arrangements without a cell# and face pics, if someone is so secretive that they can't give that they're definitely not on the up & up. I appreciate that people don't want their faces attached to a swinger site, but anyone who doesn't have a cell phone and can't text a selfie isn't gonna be able to negotiate their way around with us anyway.

If we are meeting someone in public for the first time, we need to see face pics first for that very reason. Telling someone due to mistaken identity that you're meeting a couple that you have never actually seen before is just something we'd prefer to avoid. We also tend to exchange cell #'s so we can text when we arrive and, if they are already there, ask them where they are sitting, but we'd definitely want face pics or a cell # and preferaly both if meeting in public.

If we take a chance and have a new couple meet us at our house it isn't as big a deal.

Arranged to meet a couple once in a lounge, she had a nice photo...but he didn't have one posted. We arrived on time at the bar and after 20 minutes, noticed a couple with a guy checking out my wife. I figured it must be them, so I went over to say hello. It wasn't them but we had a laugh when he asked, so you guys are meeting a couple here and you don't know what they look like? After about 45 min I said to my wife, we might as well go. So as we get up, the guy comes over (who was purposely sitting in a dark corner of the bar with is wife). I'm thinking he might have just arrived late. Then he started telling us he arrived first and how humorous it was watching us at the bar especially after we approached the other couple. At that point I just said we need to leave and have a nice evening.

I bet it was the restaurant owner getting you into their place. LOL

A constant/immediate request for pics is kind of a give-away. We do not need to see anything beyond G-rated pics to know if we're interested in playing with someone. At most, we may exchange some R-rated ones, but that's because the gallery with our face pics has a few. We only exchange those when meeting someone so that we can each pick each other out if meeting in a public spot.

If/when asked for anything beyond that, I tell them that the whole point is to meet, and if everyone likes what they see when that happens, why look at pics when you can play with the real thing.

I will make an exception if the woman we're meeting requests a cock pic to make sure I'm adequately (or not overly) endowed, but that has happened maybe 1 out of 100 times.