SM's are only hard to find because there really isn't that many, most that pretend to be are just guys looking for side action. It's not a mystery.
And for those of us that are somewhat older truly single guys... even if we are very open to the idea of not being single, finding a single woman interested in pursuing an actual relationship is much, much harder than finding just about anything else in the lifestyle.
" talk on the phone and text for 1-3 weeks.... eliminate most of the single guys"
I would estimate that it would eliminate 25 or 28 out of 30. Most SM's on this site have a wife who knows nothing about it and all it takes is one ill-timed text and they vanish. SM's are only hard to find because there really isn't that many, most that pretend to be are just guys looking for side action. It's not a mystery.
Onehorneywife, so sorry that happened to you. Once I know what a couple looks like from initial pics I never ask for more. At least not until we've met and played. If people press for pics that is a red flag. There are so many scumbags out there (with both single male and fake couples profiles) who are pic collectors. Or in some cases string people along and get off on ruining a couple's plans.
We had a single guy do that to us. Days of chat exchanging pics, he had a nice big cock the wife was looking forward to and then nothing. We were at the restaurant where we were to meet him. He was late but said he was just around the block stuck at a traffic light. OK. 15 more min go by and no show. I look at the SLS site to get his contact again and he has blocked us. WTF!!!!!!!!
HollyBlue, I definitely believe them. I've heard it from enough good lifestyle friends that I know it's true. It does counter the myth that it's so easy to find a single guy. I think a lot of that myth comes from those who don't play with single guys. They see the number of SMs are so high, and the subgroup of single guys who are asses are so aggressive in their approach, it warps the whole perception.
Del, they aren't off in the math at all. There are that many fakes, flakes, cheaters, etc. out there and then when you take into account they are wanting more of an fwb then it takes those numbers down quite a bit more. The only thing that they miss the boat on are the people who work 2nd, 3rd, and swing shifts or are divorced and have their kids with them. The lunch break cheater is a very real thing though and dealing with a few of them is probably enough to create the system they have in place.
Serendipity21: Sounds like you have a great approach but the math seems really difficult to overcome. Let's say you start out with 30 SMs you like enough to want to engage. Requirement to talk on the phone and text for 1-3 weeks (which I think is a great idea) eliminates "the majority" of guys. Ok, at most 15 are left. Then of those 15 most of those eliminate themselves by opening up and you don't like what they are texting or by being cheaters. Let's say 5 are left. Some lied about size, some lied about age or appearance, and it's down to 1 or 2. From that math it looks like guys who are actually great enough to meet and play with on multiple occasions are the male version of the unicorn...
We always approach a meeting with couples or singles with.....No Expectations. We prepare for ourselves...that is, we dress the way we like, have dinner where we want, eat/drink what we want....and if they do a No Show, we've enjoyed the evening regardless. If they DO show, then we have a better evening!
Actually we found something opposite. We developed a system with single males. Guys be honest. How many times have we picked up a girl or dated a girl we met and then after sex just disappeared? Too many times. Its hurtful and disrespectful. We grew to feel the same way here.
We told guys up front that it was a talk on the phone and then text till we could all find a time to meet and let them know that could take 1 to three weeks. We told them they should approach this like they were after a girl they wanted to date and have sex with.
It really eliminated the majority of guys. The few that were left eventually eliminated themselves because as they got more comfortable they opened up more and became transparent. When they understand that if they can't talk after 5 pm or 24/7 within reason on weekends then they were cheaters. The very few we finally met ...some eliminated because they were not what or who they portrayed themselves to be and yet a few had 5 instead of seven. The very few that made it were pretty good guys. Very few here will just meet a guy have sex and ghost. Its dangerous and not satisfying so its the same as the vanilla world just all cards face up on the table.
Now did I get punked by the husband sneaking a creampie into his wifes pussy and not telling anyone??? LOL
My girlfriend and I went to a monthly M&G at a public bar and met a mature couple and they lived near the restaurant where we met the couple in my posting just below this one....We went to their house and had some of the best foursome sex you could imagine..I ate my first cream pie with them, unknown till I got a taste of the wifes pussy, her husband had cum in her and kept it a secret...I also fucked her creamy pussy and sucked his cock, one of my first bi experiences, had no idea they were open to it, it just happened. Like I said before, every great swinging experience has always happened unplanned and unexpected...Mary Jo
My girlfriend and I drove an hour to meet a couple from this site, they did not have a photo on their profile but seemed nice in our conversations. After meeting in the Host area of restaurant, the husband went to the restroom. My girlfriend had no interest in eating with them much less eating them out as I agreed, we told the lady, sorry but not interested and quickly left.....OMG, So unattractive, older couple....Now who punked who????? Mary Jo...
When we started out swinging, we got punked too. Anyway, I now report any suspicious profiles to SLS. You all should too. SLS needs to do more to police fake profiles.
Though Tomballdon4 was stood up at the restaurant that day, they were still willing to take a chance on me the next day. I'm grateful they did, they are definitely a fun couple :-)! I remember him jokingly saying at dinner that if I went to the restroom, he was coming with me ;-)! If you get the opportunity to join them, by all means take it, you won't be disappointed :-)!
Tom Ball - Similar experiences here, have concluded there are a lot of attached males pretending to be single guys that will make plans to meet, then feel guilty and bail at last minute never to be heard from again, and ones that talk you into sending them pictures for their collection or to use on other sites. Its been at times so frustrating ...
tombalidon4 - It is actually helpful to hear those kinds of occurrences. People just getting into the LS come in sometimes thinking this is going to be like Burger King and they are going to have it "their way". There is the perception that it is easy to meet people and there are just hundreds, if not thousands just waiting in the wings to meet and play.
Early on we discovered LS parties and are lucky enough to have a number of them close by, but we do meet people 2 on 2. We have not had most of the things that you have had happen, but we go into each meeting either with a plan B, or not going out of our way, or both. It has served us well and we have avoided a lot of the frustrations that others have experienced, and part of that comes from people sharing their experiences and tactics with meeting new people.
goodgollymsmolly
I have been told that I am "Magically Delicious".
Does that count?
We have heard them all.... guys contact us - we play MFM and we entertain in our home. We are a long way from Swinger clubs. We are not traveling to be stood up. I have come to the conclusion we are just bad omens for these guys if you want to believe that their mothers have heart attacks, their children have car accidents, their brothers get lost, their cows get loose and the job has an emergency..... all within hours of when we are supposed to meet. They are perfectly fine for days prior, texting and telling us how anxious they are, then poof! Something really bad, or nothing at all....sometimes they disappear never to be heard from again. We had one guy drive 200 miles then call us from 30 miles away and tell us he just wasn't putting any more miles on his vehicle....????? And he really was that close - gave us landmarks that he couldn't have known otherwise. But the best was the guy who did show.... we went to dinner to get acquainted and really seemed to be progressing just fine but after dinner he excused himself to go to the men's room at the restaurant and never reappearred. Left us with the tab, his dinner and drinks!! We just laugh about it.... I think I can say that those who keep their commitment are always satisfied. We are just what we say and no surprises so we don't understand, but have come to accept it. There are usually no warning signs that we could share, best advice is just don't go out of your way, enjoy one another when you are stood up.
The moment you explain the logic behind that - because it sounds like magic - I'm in, DB. ;-)
goodgollymsmolly
So start contacting me and I can ALMOST guarantee that you will quit getting your inbox loaded with garbage contacts.
And should the 1% chance that it doesn't work actually happen, you will have at least made a contact with a decent, good looking, studly, and most of all humble guy.
Welcome to the World on Swinger Online contacts. The only place we will agree to meet anyone is at a swing club or someplace we were already going to. The vast majority of people on sites like this are not here to actually meet anyone. We prefer meeting at swing clubs. If they show up great. If not there are others to have fun with. The internet is a place where you can be anyone.
"Well that escalated quickly...."
Welcome to the internet. It's a wonderful place. Don't be afraid. :)
Well, on the bright side, there really is no inclination he’s thirsty as well.
~Allen
Well that escalated quickly....
You’re still white though; she doesn’t like white.
~Allen
