Body Positivity Uncensored — Our 2026 Reset

Transcript

Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts, learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net, you create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy. And Southern Girl. And we are back with a full-length episode of the Swing Nation podcast. And we're here in 2026. Yeah. And we're going to do a podcast that's a little different than what we normally do. Yeah. But it's completely relevant. Because this is what everybody's talking about in the new year, right? We're going to talk a little bit about body positivity. Yeah. Right? And listen, we are no experts. Dan did a timeline to kind of keep us on track, and I was reading over it, and I'm like, shit, I need to hear all of these things. These are very relevant to where we are because we are kind of in that new year, new me sort of situation where we're like, shit, we got to get our asses in shape. We need to be more confident. We are not here to preach these things. We are here to remind you and ourselves that this is something we need to focus on. We do this every year. I think every human being every year starts the new year and they're like, all right, I'm going to get in shape. I'm going to get more confident. I'm going to have more sex. I'm going to whatever the thing is. This is the time of year that you're talking about it. We kind of just wanted to talk to you about our journey and where we're at. Uh, and then maybe just, you know, give you, if we were going to give you some advice, um, you know, if you're thinking about these things, maybe some advice about ways to think about it. Yeah. Also advice for ourselves because we need to think about it. Um, okay. So this is kind of the, I labeled this the, the no BS version. Okay. And I kind of, I kind of wanted to do no BS, right? Cause I think, and here's what I mean by that, right? I think when we talk about body positivity, a lot of times what you get is, oh, we should all just love the body we're in and just learn to love yourself. And that's so much easier said than done, though. Right. Well, and I think that. It's not wrong. Yeah. Right. But at the end of the day, I don't think there's something everybody has something about themselves that they do not like. Right. Or they'd like to improve. They'd like to improve on. Right. And that's my And so I think really, if we're going to talk body positivity, and if you are somebody that is complaining about something, and this is, I think, even bigger than body positivity. You know, for you, I know a lot of it is mental health related, and even me, I have some mental health things that go on with me. And so I think if there's something about yourself that you want to make better, right, and you're complaining about it, but not doing anything to make it better. Yeah, like I complain all the time that I have put on weight and I need to stop. And so it's like, if I don't do anything, like what's the point? You know, like I need to get my ass up and like do something. Right. Which I'm working on. I'm working on. But yes, you're not wrong. It's hard to, you shouldn't complain about it if you're not going to do the work. You know, like just shut up and do the work to fix it. Right. So you basically have two options, right? So if, if you are looking at yourself And I'm not even talking about just physically, but if you're looking at yourself mentally and you're like, hey, I have anxiety or I have depression, right? Or you're saying, hey, I think I need to lose weight or I think my ass is flabby. Whatever the thing you're picking yourself apart for in your head, you have two options, right? You can either accept it for what it is and learn to love it. Because I think sometimes we do need to do that, right? Sometimes there are parts about us that we don't like. And we just need to learn to accept it and love it, right? And I think there are steps you can, you know, like I think that is an active journey that you have to go on, right? I don't think you can just say, you know, or we just did a Tuesday talk episode where a guy was talking about his dick size. Dick size is probably one of those things. If you are looking at yourself and saying. There's not much you can do to change it. Saying, you know, man, Dan, I really wish you had a bigger dick. You know, I'm thinking this is me thinking in my own head, right? Well, there's not, there's not a whole lot. I mean, there's penis palms, there's surgeries, there's implants. Like, there are things, right? If you truly, if it's something that is such a burden on you that it puts you in such a place that you need to fix it in order to live a happy life, there are things you can do, right? For the most part, those are some pretty extreme measures, right? So maybe you just have to learn to accept it, you know? Maybe you just have to, whether it's go to counseling, whether it's talking to your partner, whatever the steps are, maybe you just have to learn to accept that thing. But the other thing is if, it's something you don't like. You either need to accept it or you need to do something about it. Yeah. Right. And I think a lot of us where we get stuck at is I don't like my body. I don't like that. I'm chubby. I don't like, you know, I don't like that. I have a like a beer gut. Like, you know, I don't when I gain weight, I don't gain it in my arms. I don't gain it in my legs. I gain it right here. Like I look like a pregnant person. That's where you have a beer gut, but you don't drink beer. Right. I don't drink beer. But if I eat too many snacks and cookies and crackers and chips, which is what I'd What I like to do at night is sit down, watch some TV or a movie, and I like to eat ice cream. I like to eat chips. I like to snack. And sometimes, like, I'll get ready to go to bed, and I'll be looking at the coffee table in front of me, and I'll be like, there's a bowl of ice cream. There's a bag of chips. There's 13 fucking wrappers from Oreos. Like, Dan, what the fuck are you doing with your life? You know what I mean? Like, I'll have to, like, yell at myself because I just sat there for the last hour and a half and ate 5,000 calories. You know what I mean? Just because I'm bored watching TV and, like, it's, like, something to do, right? But so if me, Dan, doesn't like my beer gut, I need to do something about that, right? I need to stop eating snacks every freaking night. I need to get up and go for a run or a walk or go to a gym. Yeah. I think there's so many, so many people will complain about the thing they don't like about themselves, but never actually take the step to do something about it. Yeah. No, I completely agree. And I think that can apply to not only to mental health as well. No, I, I've been struggling pretty bad with my mental health over the years. And something, I think after my dad died in 2025, something just clicked with me. And I was like, okay, I've got to figure this out. Because I'm making myself miserable. I'm making the people around me miserable. It's time to take it back. And so I, you know, got a doctor that would help with my prescriptions. I started counseling. And it's been like a, it's January. I started this in July. So we're talking about a six, seven month journey. And honestly, before that, I was just like, kind of what you're saying. I was just, I'm like, well, I have anxiety, and I don't know what to do, and I don't know how to make it better. And, you know, it finally, like, at some point, I had to, like, do something or shut the fuck up, you know? And so, I think it kind of finally came ahead this past year, and it's really, I made it a priority for me, my mental health. And I've been very proud of myself for doing that. And so, like, hopefully I can continue that on into the new year. And, I mean, obviously that's still important to keep, continue that, but also other things as well. Yeah, and it's 100%, you know, so I was diagnosed with PTSD. And one of the things that, you know, PTSD triggers, well, it can be a lot of things, right? But some of it's like angry outbursts and stuff like that, right? And so, if that's what's happening, like, if you're coming to me about whatever the thing might be, right? Like, hey, Dan, can you take out the trash? And I'm like, fuck you. And then you're like, well, why are you yelling at me? And I'm like, oh, well, I have PTSD. Well, that's not okay. You know what I mean? Like me yelling at you is not, that's not okay behavior, right? And so if the PTSD is a problem and it's creating problems in a relationship, I can't just say like, oh, well, I have this thing and I wish there, you know, I wish I, I wish I didn't, but I do. And there's nothing I can do about it. No bullshit. Like there is something you can do about that. Like if you have that, you can go talk to a therapist. you can work on yourself. You can, you know, they'll teach you ways to, you know, when you have these feelings and emotions, how you can cope with them and, and, you know, ways that you can kind of get down off the ledge so that you're not, you know, yelling at people and screaming at people. Like, so there, there are, is a process you can take if there's something that you identify that you need to work on. Just saying like, this is a problem I have and not doing anything about that problem is, it's not okay. It's not okay for, for me, but it's also not okay for the people around you. If what you're dealing with is affecting people around you, it's also not okay for them. They shouldn't have to be treated poorly just because you are dealing with mental health issues either. I think those things should be worked on either together or as individuals so that you can get better at that. We see this in a lot of relationships. We have several friends that they're going through these cycles where they'll get in a fight. There's nobody in particular I'm thinking of. My dad used to drink a lot, right? And my parents would fight all the time. And you could almost set your watch to it, right? The weekend would come. My dad would start drinking. My parents would get in a fight. And it happened time and time again, right? And my mom would go to my dad and say, you need to work. You're an asshole. Quit drinking. And they'd do this. And it would go on for years and years and years until eventually they ended up divorced, right? But if you're in that cycle, the only way to fix that is, hey, I have a drinking problem. Or hey, we have a relationship problem. Let's go to marriage. Like, you have to break outside of that cycle to do something about the problem if you just keep reliving it over and over and over again. You know what they say? They say, like, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Like, that's where you're stuck in. It's time, now that we're talking about the new year, to do something about it. Yeah. All right. So here are my notes. I got body positivity equals respecting your body enough to do the work. And I think that is true, right? So if instead of saying love who you are and don't change anything, just learn to love yourself as you are. I think at some point that's okay. Yeah. If you were in a spot where you want to be, but most of us aren't, right? Well, yeah. I would say that personally, I've always struggled with my body. And which I think people, because I see the comments that people write on our social media posts and stuff. I think some people would look at me and say, What the fuck is wrong with you? You know? And I look back at pictures of myself from like two years ago or a year ago or however many. And I'm like, I was in the room freaking out. Not wanting to walk out. In that outfit. In that outfit or in that bathing suit or whatever. So I thought I looked terrible. Then like two years later, I look at that picture and I'm like, I looked beautiful. What the fuck was wrong with me? Or I wish I still looked like that, right? Yes, yes. And so that's something that I've really struggled with. I've actually gotten shit, for lack of a better word, because of, like, they say you should not be on social media if you can't handle the criticism, you know? Well, who can handle the criticism? But that, you know, I don't know how to manufacture that, you know? Think about, I guess the best way I can, like, describe it is think back when you, 20, you look at a picture from your early 20s, you're like, fuck. If I look like that now, you know, if I had that little waist, that's kind of how I feel. And the last year or so, I've really, really tried to lean into just loving the body that I'm in. Just accepting who I am. And, you know, do I want to be skinnier? Yes. Am I trying to be a little thinner? Yes. But I also, like, want to enjoy my life and love the body that I'm in. So that's like a double-edged sword, you know? So, like, how do you have body confidence? And actively want to change it. You know, so that's something that I've personally struggled with that hasn't come easy to me. No, I think the truth of this is just like everything else. It's an ever moving thing, right? Like there's not like I think that's when we think about like body goals or we think about, you know, confidence. You know, we think, OK, you know, I've heard even you say this, right? You think, OK, if I can get to 120 pounds. Yeah. I will be so confident and I will feel so sexy. And that's the goal, right? If I can get there, everything will be perfect, right? And then you get there and then there's something else you don't like. You have loose skin or you've lost volume in your face so you feel like you look old or whatever. And as I've gotten older, I'm 41. As I've gotten older, this is something that I very much have realized. And anybody that comes to me and says, I'm getting my boobs done or I'm getting a tummy tuck or I'm getting whatever, I always say have this same thing uh what I've learned is when you fix one thing whether it be you lose 20 pounds or you get a boob job or you change the color of your hair it just unlocks another insecurity and so I've tried really really hard over the last few years to just be okay in my skin and not look for a validation from one of those things um that doesn't mean I don't want a boob job, but I don't think that boob job is going to fix all my problems. Where in the past, I'd be like, when I get new titties, nobody can say nothing. They're going to be perky. They're going to be beautiful. I'm going to have so much confidence, you know, but what I've learned is I get the new boobs and then I have a scar or they're swollen or they haven't settled, you know, or they're like a little hard. So I've learned that like it just, it doesn't fix. It doesn't, it doesn't fix everything like we, think it does. And it took me getting two boob jobs and a BBL to kind of learn that. Right. Unfortunately. Right. Well, even after the boob job, you're never going to be 100% satisfied with the results you get from any plastic surgery. Right. Because it's just not natural. You're never going to get new boobs or a new ass or a tummy tuck. You're never going to look at it and be like, oh, my God, it's perfect. Yeah. You're going to pick apart like, oh, I got this scar here or I have a lump here or, oh, these, they're not quite as perky as I was hoping they were going to be. Like, there's something. I wish they were bigger or whatever. I think there's always going to be something. And so just it's okay to do that something. And it's okay to like want to fix the something or work on the something. But I think knowing like that it's going to be okay regardless. Like for instance, I have fibrosis in my stomach from my BBL. I am pretty self-conscious about it. Just for the record, I am. And sometimes I'm like, fuck it, I don't care. And other times I'm like, well, I should cover my, you know, I should wear something that covers my stomach. And honestly, could I go and have it fixed now? Yeah. It's been two years since I surgery. I, you know, I could probably like, I am like afraid that that's just going to happen again. It's going to unlock something else, you know, and I would learn to just be okay with where I'm at. Then, then have something else I was insecure about. So I'm just trying to learn to like sit with it. and be okay. Yeah. Well, and I think that's kind of what we're talking about, right? So you have two choices, right? You either do something about it or you learn to accept it. Like those are really at the end of the day, you're only two choices. So like for you, you're the fibrosis in your stomach, you either have to learn to love it or you have to work to make it better. Right. And in this case, really the only way to make it better would be having another surgery. And then if you have that surgery, okay. You know, learning lessons from the last one is, Oh, maybe I need to watch my salt intake or, you know, maybe those belly boards, and all that stuff. I gotta make sure I wear those all the time. But I could still do everything right. You could do all that and it could end up just like it is right now. And then you're kind of back at zero. And so to be honest with you, I'll probably fix it at some point. But I'm also just trying to learn to accept it until I get to the point where I'm mentally okay with changing it. But that's the right mentality, I think, going into a surgery. If at some point you're like, okay, there's nothing I can really do. I can't go to the gym and do more crunches and fix this. I need to go have surgery. to fix it, but I'm going into the surgery knowing that my results probably aren't going to be perfect, right? I'm going to do everything I can to get the best results, but they're probably not going to be perfect, and I need to mentally accept that or expect that going into this. That's probably a very different place than going into a surgery thinking that the outcome is going to be perfect. Yeah, and I don't think people really think, oh, it's going to be perfect. You don't even realize that's what you're doing. You just think when you get this, like a guy, When I get a six-pack, all the bitches are going to come. All the ladies are going to love me. I'm going to be fucking everybody. Then you get a six-pack and then you're self-conscious about something else. Now you're worried about your dick size. I think there always is going to be something that we focus on. I think having awareness enough to realize that this is something that I am worried about. like in-house, like in-house, like in your brain. You know, work on it internally. And then work on the outside too. You know, I think it's okay to do both. Yeah. No, and I think, you know, this is the notes here. Respecting your body, you know, body positivity is really respecting your body enough to do the work to get to where you want to be. Yeah. Right? And I think that, like you're saying, it's mental and physical work is, you know, if you're trying to lose weight, while you're getting up and going to the gym every day, is that loving your body, right? If it's, you know, you trying to work on your anxiety and stuff, well, you actually making the appointments to go see a therapist, showing up to those appointments, you know, when you do talk to the therapist, actually telling, you know, like being completely open and honest to the therapist about what the things are that are bothering you. You know, I know so many people, even myself, like as I was getting out of the army, they made me go see a therapist because, you know, I've been in combat and all these things. And that was like one of the check marks you had to get checked off. So I went to the therapist and they were like, oh, well, you know, they have you fill out this little do you have this? Do you have this? Do you wake up in the night? Do you think about bad thing? You know, all this checklist that you check off, right? And then I had to go through all that. They're like, OK, you have PTSD and now we want you to go to counseling. So I go to the counselor and like one of the first things the counselor said to me is, OK, we're going to do this like once. I don't know if it's once a month or every two weeks or whatever it was. And she's like, I want to do. I can't remember what she called it, but it was like. Traumatic exposure therapy or something. And what she wanted me to do is tell her about all the most traumatic things that I'd ever been through so that we could, like, work through it, right? That was the last time I ever went to a fucking therapist, right? Because I was like, fuck that. Like, I am not, you know. But that's probably wrong. Like, I'm probably not right for that, right? I probably need to go back to a therapist. I probably need to do the things they wanted me to do so that I can actually heal that part of me that, you know. Well, it's hard to go through those things, you know. Just like it's hard to go to the gym. going back, right? But you're right. It's just like that. It's hard, right? And I did not want to relive those experiences. So I just avoided it. And just like you're saying, going to the gym fucking sucks. You know, I was in the army for 20 years. Every day I had to get up, I had to go and I had to go run and I had to go work out. For 20 years, there was not one time I was running that I was ever like, this is amazing and fun and great. For 20 fucking years, every time I started running, I was like, God, this sucks. And that's what I thought in my head until I stopped running. And so, but if you want to be skinny, if you want to be in shape, if you want to be, you know, if you want to be able to go fight in wars, you know, or whatever the thing is, you've got to put in that work, even though it sucks and it's not fun. Yeah. No, I totally agree. All right. I think now is the perfect time to take a little break and hear from the partners and sponsors of the Swing Nation podcast. Then when we get back, let's talk a little bit more body positivity, but kind of how it applies to the lifestyle. Okay. All right. We'll be right back, guys. Lacey, one thing I don't leave home without when going to a swinger event is my ED medication. That is correct. Performance anxiety is 100% a real thing. Having sex in an orgy room with 100 people in there is way different than having sex at home in your bedroom. It is. So I like to have what we call a little insurance policy and have sex with sex. I have some of that ED medication in my pocket. Shameless Care is who I use for that. And they actually just came out with a new product called the Shameless Duo. Yeah. Which is a combination medicine that has Viagra and Cialis in it. So that one, you can be ready whenever. But also it's got that dose that you can take when you're, you know, as you're getting ready to go to the playroom and you need that to kick in. Yeah. So I love it. I mean, I used it at Hedo for the first time and that combination. You've kind of pretty much switched to that, haven't you? It's basically what I use all the time now. Yeah. So if you're looking for ED medication, if you're new to the lifestyle and you're going to an event, you might want to get some and have it just handy in case you need it. Yeah. And the really cool thing about Shameless Care is they don't set you up on a reoccurring plan. So you're not going to get all of this ED medication that you have in your nightstand built up. When it's time that you need more, you'll get an email from them and they'll ask you, hey, are you ready for another round? and you can respond back. Yes, please refill it or no, I'm good right now. Thank you. So it's really cool because you don't end up with all these extra pills and spend a bunch of money that you're not, you know, you don't need to spend. Yeah. And my favorite part is you don't actually have to go into an office and talk to your family doctor or a military doctor. You can do it all right online from the privacy of your home. You just go to the website, you fill out some forms, the doctor reviews it, approves you, disapproves you, and you move on from there. So if you would like to get some medication, You can go to the swing nation dot info. Click on the little recommended apps and products. Scroll down to the shameless care icon. Click on that and that's going to take you over there. There's some discount codes there for you so you can get a discount off your first order. But I highly recommend if you're going to some events or parties, go get you some lifestyle insurance. All right, guys, check it out. Lacey, if you're going to be a swinger. Yeah, you need to be a responsible swinger. I agree. And part of being a responsible swinger is getting tested on a regular basis. Yeah. Now, something I didn't know is not all STI, STD testing is the same. That is correct. Not every family doctor fully understands how you should be getting tested. That is correct. What one doctor thinks is a full panel, another doctor may have a completely different version of that. And being somebody in the lifestyle and engaging with multiple partners What you should be getting tested for is probably, if you're not telling your doctor that, what you should be getting tested for is probably different than what they're thinking in their head. Yeah, because they don't know your lifestyle. Or even if they do know your lifestyle, there's a, like, for instance, there is a new one called Imgen. And we just recently met a doctor at a lifestyle party and said that she had never even heard about it. And so she was awesome that we had educated her on that. So a lot of these doctors don't, they don't know it all. Right. So if you are, If you are going to participate in the lifestyle, you probably need to get tested from people that are meant to do this. Yes. So we use I Know My Status. It's the same people behind Talent Testing. It's a company that tests all the porn stars. So they're used to testing people that engage with multiple partners. They know all the latest on what STIs are coming up and spreading and they track all the stats. I mean, they know how to test people for STIs. They're the experts. They are. And if someone that you engage with, you know, if they have used I Know My Status, they can actually give you a QR code and you can scan it and you can see their results right on your phone so you can confirm everything that they're telling you. Yeah, 100%. So please, if you're getting tested, get tested the right way. We recommend using I Know My Status. You can go to theswingnation.info, recommended apps and products. Scroll down to the I Know My Status icon and you can get a discount. off your first test. But please, if you're swinging, if you're engaging with people in the community, please be safe about it. Go get tested. Yeah, because we want you to fuck like a porn star. For sure. Dan, so when we're doing the podcast, a lot of times we'll tell the listeners we are filming our content for OnlyFans, right? Mm-hmm. So how do they find that content if they want to see the videos that go along with the stories? Yeah, so that's a great question. So you are correct. We do film for OnlyFans. When we're going to clubs and events, we talk about sometimes, oh, we did OnlyFans with so-and-so. So if they're interested in that, they can go to theswingnation.info and they'll see right there on the front page a link to your OnlyFans. We are running promos. We are. And it could be anywhere from 50% to 80% off right now. Yeah. So I think right now it's 80% off. Wow. So you'd have to go grab that right away. Okay, but if you like watching orgies, if you like watching threesomes, if they want to see you take DVP, they want to see how big of a dirty slut you actually are. They can see all that right on your OnlyFans page. We kind of call it, it's like another tier of education. No, I was about to say that because I think like if you go to some of these major porn sites and you type in like swinging, you're going to find some things and it's usually not very good, let's be real. will get and we try to get as many orgies on camera as we can because a lot of people that are joining the lifestyle they want to see us do a full swap with a couple or they want to see us engage in an orgy and these are the same people that we will have orgies with at the swinger club with obviously without the cameras we just kind of recreate it um you know at opportunities that we can film so if you're thinking about joining the lifestyle and you're like man i need to know i need to see like how they're this. Our OnlyFans can be kind of educational, if you ask me. I agree. So go over to theswingnation.info, click that blue and white button, and go sign up today. Check it out. We appreciate you guys. All right, guys. Welcome back. Welcome back. All right, we're talking all things New Year's body positivity. We're trying to have an honest conversation about it, right? I think a lot of, there's lots of like catchphrases and I think there's lots of what you're supposed to say and what you're not supposed to say. I think we just are saying whatever comes to our head. And to be fair, we're not counselors. We're not nutritionists. We're not body coaches. We're not health coaches. We're two people that are, I think, negotiating the lifestyle and probably think about our bodies as it relates specifically to swinging in the lifestyle quite a bit. You know, Lacey has an OnlyFans page. Her body gets posted naked seven days a week. a week, 365 days a year. That's me. And so body positivity is something I think that, or body image, self-image, whatever you want to call it, is something that we talk about a lot. Yeah, I think it's just something that we're aware of. And I don't think that we're unique here because we have a podcast and OnlyFans. I think the lifestyle is very, we're aware of what we look like. Let's be honest. We're aware of what we look like. We're aware of what we bring to the table. And I think Like somebody that's actively, even in monogamous situations, somebody that's actively dating is trying to put their best foot forward. And I think the lifestyle also kind of puts us back in that mindset. Like we want to like present our best self possible. And so I think that's, I think, I personally think that's good. I think, I've seen people talk negatively about the lifestyle as far as that. They say it's like surface level, like people get, pressure for the lifestyle to, like, have plastic surgery or lose weight or whatever. I think I've heard a lot of that. And honestly, I just, I think human beings want what they don't have. I think that's definitely part of it. And I think we are seeing each other naked and it's encouraging us to kind of put our best foot forward. I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. It kind of keeps me on my P's and Q's. Does that make sense? Because if it wasn't, if I didn't If I didn't think in April I was going to be around secrets walking around naked, I probably wouldn't give a shit if I had a little bit of a tummy. Because like in regular clothes, nobody cares. But if I know I'm going to be like naked in front of people, I'm going to try a little, you know? So I don't think that's bad. Right. No, I think that's true. You know, it is funny, right? So if you look at people that are monogamous, right? It seems to be, and I'm guilty of this when I was in a monogamous relationship, right? You date, young age, you get married, and then the longer you're married, the more you let yourself go, the less sex you have, right? And then a lot of monogamous couples end up getting divorced. Or cheating or whatever. And it's because we're not having enough sex and I'm not attracted to you anymore. We're not putting our relationships first. I mean, that's a lot of it, yeah. And this other younger, hotter girl is giving me, whatever the case may be, right? Like, it's like a self-destruction. It's like, yeah, yeah. Part of where the lifestyle is different is we are always, like you said, we're actively dating all of the time. Yeah. Like it's, you know, so think about how you felt in high school or maybe in college and you were, you know, before you met your partner and you got married, you were going to the gym and working out. You're like trying. You're putting forth an effort. Yeah. And to be honest with you, at different phases of the lifestyle, that effort could be a lot. You know, like in the beginning, when you first did a lifestyle, you're like, fuck, I need a six pack. All these dudes got six packs. I want to look hot or all these girls have, you know, flat tummies. I want to look, you know, so you like bust your ass. And I think like we've had parts of the lifestyle where we put on a little way and they were like, oh, no, we got to tone up. So I think it kind of comes and goes. But I totally think that that's it. And I like the lifestyle for that. So I think people give it a bad rap. But personally, I like it. I like that. I like that aspect of it. I think being motivated to always put your best self forward is a good thing. For sure. You know what I mean? It's good for not only your relationship with your partner, your spouse, it's also good for when you're trying to get people to fuck you at a lifestyle event. Okay, so on that note though, so when you think about like guys that you're attracted to, right? So if I was to say Lacey, when you go to a swingers party or a swingers club or whatever, what are you most What I say is I like a little bit of everything and that's why I'm in the lifestyle. I don't want like a perfect guy with a perfect body and the perfect hair and the perfect dick and some of that. That's not what the lifestyle is about for me. It's about the variety. You know, I can get I honestly enjoy a dad bod probably more than the guy with the six packs and stuff like that. Like, I am not looking for Mr. Perfect. I'm not looking for the guy that I'm going to take home and meet. My family or my friends. I'm looking for the guy that's going to provide me with the best time for the night. And whatever that looks like, it can be very, very different. You know, as long as you have good hygiene, that you take care of yourself, you know, that you're putting your best foot forward, that's really all. And you have a good, funny personality. That's really what I'm there looking for. It's not really physical. which is the opposite of kind of everything that we've said, but it's honestly true. Well, and this is what I always find interesting and kind of why I brought it up to you is because I think when it comes to body positivity, our body matters most to us. And nobody else. Yeah. There's this guy that keeps commenting on all of our TikToks and he says, well, my chubby wife have, my wife's a little chubby. accepted at the parties and every time I see it I comment and I'm like first of all quit calling your fucking wife chubby and second of all some guys love a full or figured woman some guys don't want a tiny like there is somebody there for everybody and and I've told this all the time that at no point I have been 30 pounds lighter I'm probably at my heaviest right now I'll be real I haven't been much heavier than I am but I have been a significant can amount smaller than I am now. At no point has somebody ever looked at me and said, I don't want to fuck you because you're chubby. Right. Or fuller figured or whatever. Guys are just happy to fuck. Yeah. They're just happy to be there. You know, like as long as you take care of yourself, I think that's really and you're like a fun, you have a cool vibe. I think that's what it's about. All right. So it is interesting that really body confidence, you know, we think we need to work on our bodies so that we can go out and get laid and you know you're gonna get laid regardless attract the opposite sex um and you know and maybe for guys and this is you know something maybe we could talk about women in the lifestyle seem to take better care of themselves than men in the lifestyle as far as like physical appearance goes um and i don't know if that's a cultural thing if that we hold women to different beauty standards than we do men and so women tend to then adhere you know to care more about it themselves are incompetent with each other. Not even realizing it. I think we want to have the best outfit. We want to have the best hair. And we want to look our best. We're not really dressing for men. Or dressing for other women. Or at least I am. I mean, I want the guys to think I'm sexy. But I want the girls to be like, where the fuck do you get that outfit that's hot? You know, like, we are, like, wanting to put our best foot forward. Not because we're like, I mean, at the end of the day, the guys are going to want to fuck. Regardless. If it's a she, So you're trying to impress other women? Yeah. And that's because? I don't know. You want them to be jealous? No, no. You just want them to be impressed? I just, I like seeing other girls. I like when a girl walks out and impresses me. So I want to do that. I don't, I don't know. It's not, it's, it's hard for me to explain. Maybe women you can, if you're listening to this, you can chime in via something. But I, I don't really think we're dressing for men at swinger parties or. I mean, like, don't get me wrong. I want a man to think I'm hot and sexy and stuff like that. But they're, it doesn't really matter what outfit I have on. They don't really care. Do you think women are more judgmental of other women than men are of women? Oh, for sure. No. Women are more judgmental of ourselves than men are of the women. I think men are just happy the women are there. They're just happy. Like, we could walk out in a $5 sheen outfit and they would know no different. They just are happy that you're there and in something sexy. I just, It's not about that. As long as you smell good and you have sexy clothes on and you want to fuck them, they're good. They're happy. And do you find that confidence in people matters more necessarily than their body? For sure. Somebody that comes across as confident is sexier than... Yeah. It doesn't matter if they're... I've seen people at Secrets and Hedo and stuff that are not your traditional, what we would traditionally say is a sexy body type. But they're out there on the dance floor having the best time and living very carefree and just very much in the moment. And I have been very jealous of how awesome they look and how awesome they feel. And I envy that. Yeah, and I think that's true. Even with women, this is the thing. And I joke about this all the time, but it's actually true. When we go to swinger events and parties, I'm attracted to 80% of the women that are there, right? Which is a pretty large number. If you had to put a number on the percentage of men that are at these events that you're attracted to, can you put roughly a number on that? 20% to 30%. Right. So it's like the opposite, right? So I'm attracted to, if we walk into a room, 80% of the women that are in that room, I'm like, I would totally fuck her. You're attracted to 20%. So that already narrows our pool quite substantially, right? But then even of that 20%, their energy, their vibe. For sure. It could go up quickly if I just get to know you. Well, yours is the opposite. Yours will probably go down as you get to know them. If you walk up to me and you start talking to me and just saying dumb things, you're going to lose me at some point, right? But even then, I might make an exception. But I definitely think it is confidence. And then I think another thing that men maybe that don't understand is you need to feel like comfortable, right? To be attracted to a guy, if you feel like he's creepy or if you feel like you don't trust him, it's hard for you to be attracted to him. Yeah. No, I agree. And it's not even something that I think about. It's just something that kind of happens, if that makes sense. Yeah. Okay. I do have a question for you because this is something that I've struggled with in relationships in the past, right? If I am starting to get a beer gut and maybe let myself go and you as my partner see that, how do you tell me that without hurting my feelings? You and I kind of just say what we got to say. So I don't know that we're like, what you do to me is you're like, we should really get to the gym together. this together. Is that not a good way to do it? No, I mean, I think that's the best thing you could do. Honestly, I don't think there's a good way to say. Luckily, we kind of have always been like, usually we're heavier together. Like I think during 2020, during COVID, like we look at our wedding pictures, we're both heavy. Like we've kind of like sort of, because honestly, when one of us is doing well, the other, because we're kind of like a package, you know, so I think we kind of like stick together. So I think that's the best way is doing, even if you are in the best shape of your life. And like maybe saying, let's do this together. I don't know. What would you say? How can I tell you? I don't know. I think you could just sort of tell me. But I think I'm not as sensitive as you are. I'm very sensitive to the weight. I would struggle with that. Like, how do I tell you other than, hey, I think we need to do more of this and more of that. But I also know with you, you're pretty self-accountable. Yeah. to that stuff. I think you probably beat yourself up about your weight more than I would. But I do feel like the lifestyle is a team sport. And so I do think helping each other be accountable is important. I'm just not so sure of how do you relay that to your partner without offending them. I don't know. I think you kind of have to offend them. But I guess like if you come at it like a health standpoint, like I'm worried about your health, like your blood pressure is high, we need to like start walking at night. We've even talked about like walking just for our relationship, like going for a mile walk at night and like because we have to put our phones down and we're just walking and we're just talking to each other. So, I mean, you could you could do it something around that. I mean, I don't know how you do it without hurting somebody's feelings. Yeah. No. And I, for me. Also, can I say something? I didn't mean to interrupt you. Also, if I'm going to lose weight or get myself in shape or work on my mental health, that's something that I have to decide. So, like, you can tell me you need to do it, but until, same with drinking, same with any bad habits, you know, until I fully am ready to do it, it doesn't matter if you say something or not. You know, like, I have to mentally, be ready to make the changes. And that's not something that somebody else can put on me. No, I agree. And so, you know, as we're entering this new year, you know, I've been thinking a lot about health and our health. And not even not so much from a I want to be in shape so that girls want to fuck me standpoint. I really, you know, we just hit 40, right? We just turned 41 years old. I recently spent four hours on the ground and couldn't get up because I slipped a disc in my back. You know, we're aging. And I really look at health now differently than I did when I was younger and in the military. I think when I was, you know, my 20s, it was all about can I get big biceps? Can I get abs? Can I be jacked? And yeah, do girls want to fuck me? Like I think that's a young man's like why you want to be healthy. As I've got older, I'm looking at it as I want to still be able to do the things that I want to do when I'm 60, when I'm 70. Shit, maybe even when I'm 80. You know, when we go on these cruises, when we go to these resorts and I see these people that are in their 70s and 80s and they're doing things, you know, they're out on the dance floor, they're, you know, swimming and, you know, jumping in and swimming through the caves with us and doing all these things. I'm like, damn, that dude is 83 years old. Yeah. So I think now that, like, I want to live the longest and most full life that I can. Yeah. And I know that our health, is going to play a big role in that. For sure. So I, for my take is like, let's get that shit right now. Yeah. So that we can live the longest, most fulfilled life that we can. Yeah, no, I agree. Um, I've even gotten to where, you know, I, I'm currently gonna, I, I, my face is very round right now. Let's be real. Um, I'm heavier now than I have ever probably, maybe when I gave birth, I don't know. But, um, I, um, I'm, I also enjoy drinking a Dr. Pepper or having a slice of pizza after we fuck and I don't want to change that but I so but I can change it a little so that way I can still do those things so that's kind of where I'm at like and I think that goes back to the first part of the podcast where I'm kind of in this like learning to love myself that doesn't mean that I don't need to tweak and adjust things here or there but overall I don't hate the body that I'm in and I'm appreciative of the body that allows me to go and do all the things that we do. But just to be mindful of kind of where we are and not let it get out of control. No, no, I agree. Well, you know, I again, I think long term health to me at this point is probably my biggest focus. Like you're saying, not so much like, you know, even if I have a little bit of a dad bod, I'm not worried about, oh, I want to have abs so that girls want to fuck me. Yeah. But I am worried about, you know, you want to be able to fuck. all night. So you got to get the cardio. I want to have my cardio down. I want to make sure my blood, I don't have a heart attack while I'm fucking. I want to make sure I can still, you know, like my doctor's not going to say, Dan, you can't have any more Viagra because your blood pressure is, you know, too high or too low or whatever the case may be. Uh, you know, it's those kinds of things that I, I think about is I want to make sure in that, you know, like you're saying, you know, when we go to on a bliss cruise and we're on some Island, if we want to go for a walk or go walk down the beach that I can physically do those things. things, especially with my back, you know what I mean? Because when my back bothers me, there's sometimes I can't barely stand, you know what I mean? Like for long periods of time. I want to be able to be on the dance floor for hours at a time. And I want to be able to fuck for hours at a time, you know? So to me, it's those things. So it's not so much about the vainness of looking, you know, jacked and healthy. But you do kind of want to look a little jacked. A little jacked, yeah. Just a little. Not like super jacked. I want to lose a little weight so I feel better in my own skin. But that doesn't mean that I don't love the skin that I'm in. And I think two things can be true at the same time. And I think the lifestyle is like a really good place to kind of keep us in that, you know, kind of like it keeps us honest. It keeps us kind of where we need to be. And I think some people are one extreme or the other. But I definitely I appreciate the lifestyle for having me learn to love. my body, have me learn, you know, that, that all bodies are accepted. And, and that honestly, it doesn't matter what you look like. There's somebody there that's kind of want to fuck you, you know? And so it's just like learning to love what you, what you're working with and what you have. And that's okay. No, I agree. I agree with all that. Um, yeah. So I think, I mean, I think it's a couple of things. I think you got to, if you love yourself, loving yourself is really putting in the work to be the the healthiest version of yourself that you can be. And that doesn't, that goes for mental health, physical health. I mean, all the things. Yeah. And that's, you know, it goes back to the, I think sometimes we teach people, you should just love yourself as you are. Right. Where I think loving yourself means doing that like inner reflection and saying like, okay, who do you want to be? And to be that person, what do you have to do to get and then doing the work to get there. And that's not tied to a weight. That's not tied to a height. No, that could be like, that could be like even just things of lifestyle. Like, are you somebody that's really struggling with jealousy? You know, at some point you have to look at yourself and be like internal and be like, is this something that I want to do? Is this something, you know, it's like all of those things. And this is way more than like what the scale says. This is like your mental health, your health in your relationship, your body's health. It's just all the things that kind of like it all up because you could be the hottest girl in the room but if you're jealous every time your husband touches another girl and shows your ass that that's not fun either so i just think this all kind of it's like a lot of things of kind of like presenting our best self you know like when we show up at a party we're like here i am these are all the things that i have to offer and it it goes way beyond what you look like and what outfit you have on right and i think at the end of the day it's a personal accountability thing right yeah so once you you look at yourself and you say, okay, Dan, who's your, what do you want to, what's your ideal Dan, right? If I could, if I could make a, a, a AI Dan or something that was going to be like the perfect version of me, what would that look like? Right. And then, then how do I set goals on how, okay, that's who I want to be. How do I get to that? Yeah. And then loving yourself is then doing the work to get to who you want to be. And then I think the third part of that is knowing that you're probably never going to get there, right? This is like, you're always, it's a constant journey to that place. I think it's always evolving, you know, like, cause like right now, personally, I've got my mental health in a much better place than it was. So now I'm focusing on like my physical body, you know, I've got my hormones in check. So now I'm focusing on like the way my clothes fit. and stuff like that. And so I think it should always be changing. It should always be evolving and it can be more than one thing at one time. Right. And we always talk about like lifestyle is a journey. Right. And I think your your body positivity or is a journey. And I think you never you're never going to get to the ultimate. And there's always going to be something that we want to fix. Right. So you're constantly journeying. Right. And so you're constantly trying to improve. You're trying to constantly look at like how can I get better? How can I, you know, what can I do for myself to make it better? Realizing that you're going to make mistakes and you're going to fall down and you're going to have to pick yourself back up and you're going to set goals and sometimes you're going to stick to them and then sometimes you're not. You're going to gain weight. You're going to lose weight. You're on a journey to get there. But I guess the point is you need to be in the game, right? I think too many people just quit and sit on the sidelines and then complain that they're not where they want to be. Yeah, we're a work in progress. We sit around and we're like, oh man, I wish this, I wish that, or we're going to do this and we're going to do that. And then we don't. It's like a month later and we're like, oh, I thought we were going to start going for walks after dinner. It's like, or we did it one time. Yeah, we're the world's worst at that. So we are definitely not like preaching to the choir. We're preaching to our own choir. Like we are telling ourselves that we also need to do all of these things. So I think for me and you, if we're, you know, Being honest, looking at 2026 and our goals, I think where we're going to struggle is sticking to them with our schedule. Yeah. And that's something that I've really been thinking about and like kind of what I, because I am trying to lose a little weight, not quickly, just, you know, over the next, you know, couple of months or so. I'm not, I'm doing, I'm trying to come up with something that I know I can do regardless. And we've even had conversations about like, you know, doing, going, we I'm not a huge gym person. I don't like to sweat. Maybe going for walks. But we're like, well, how do we go and walk when we travel? Well, we're usually in a hotel room and there's always a treadmill. So we've been having these conversations preparing ourselves. And we're probably not going to do well. I'm already thinking about, we're recording this early, so we're going into New Year's and I'm like, I'm going to be drinking and it's going to be like juice and I'm trying to cut out you know it's like I'm already like pre-planning some of that or how to get around it not how to get around it but like how to make the best decision like not completely derail because that's kind of where we struggle is we have really good intentions and then we go on a week-long cruise and it's like fucks everything up and then you come back and you're like where the hell do I pick back up so I'm trying because we essentially travel two weeks a month it's I can't for two weeks. I'm like doing half the work, you know? So how do I stay on track even when traveling or doing the things? So yeah, so that's kind of where we are and where I know I'm struggling and I'm already trying to like pre-plan. So that way I'm like set up for success, not up for failure. Yeah. I think it's the same thing where even I think, okay, this isn't hard. Like you've, I did this for 20 years. I got up every day and I went and worked out for an hour like I can do that and I can do that the problem for me is like making that the priority yeah because I basically work from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed like on something so I think it's like okay put that aside for that one hour a day you're gonna get up the first thing you're gonna do is go to the gym work out for an hour that if somebody calls you or text you or you know you that can wait until you're done that the you time first, you know what I mean? So I don't know. We've got to figure that out, though. We don't have an answer. We don't. We said we're going to do it in the new year, and we still don't know necessarily how we're going to achieve it. Well, I've already started. Have you? Yeah. The intermittent fasting? Yeah, I've been intermittent fasting, and today's like day two, so I've already started and done pretty good. I think we need to set our alarm, get up at, even if it's 9.30, 10 o'clock, because we're bad at not getting up until 11, 12. So get up at 9 o'clock in the morning. Go do whatever the thing is. If it's a walk, if it's a gym, I think we could vary that up and do different things. And just spend that time every morning. Yeah. With, you know, taking care of our physical and mental health. Yeah. And I want to do it, like, just to create better habits. Not necessarily to, like, change the way I look. You know. I mean, if that happens, that's right. But we need to not sleep till 11. We're 41 years old. Yeah. We need to get our asses up. Yeah. So, yeah. So, that's kind of where we are. Excited for the new year. for 2026. Our schedule is crazy. We would love to have you join us at one or all or some of the things that we will be at. They're all, they're not all posted. We do have like a calendar with tentative dates so you can kind of see where we'll, you know, kind of a gist of what's going on. But we'd love to have you at something that we're doing this year. You can hang out. It's going to be, it's going to be a great year. I'm excited for it. Same. All right. So going into the year, think about your health. Be accountable to yourself. Right? You can whine. You can complain. You can say, I want to do better. But at the end of the day, unless you're taking active steps to get to your goals, you're just talking. You're just bitching. Unless you do something, it's not going to change. Are you talking to me? I'm talking to me. I'm talking to me and you and us and everybody listening. I think we can all relate. that. Yeah. I think if we spent as much time doing as we do complaining about our body issues or whatever the thing is, I think we'd all be in a better place. For sure. We just took that same amount of time on our calendar of bitching about our stuff and to doing something, we'd all be in a better place. Correct. All right. Anything else for the Swing Nation listeners? That's it. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. We'll see you at Secrets or Electric Pleasures or Hedo or Bliss Cruise. Go book some of that. we'd love to see you yes uh and that's all i got yep i hope everybody has a great week and we'll see you next week all right i think with that in a world full of apples be the pineapple be the pineapple guys bye bye if you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us leave a five-star review wherever you're listening if you want to see more of our content you can find links to snapchat twitter instagram only fans and more in the show notes Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye. That's so hot.