Krazy Truth about Swinging #314 the Big BasisDX announcement

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey, you crazy motherfuckers. Welcome to another edition of Crazy Droop. I'm swinging. All right, we need to start. I know we don't. Well, whatever. Hey, this is Season 7, Episode 314. Coming to you live from the Casbah Fight Night. Let's go. I'm the host of The Most Cool. I'm here with the lovely, lovely ring girl turned psychotic wrestler, the wild and crazy Miss Amanda. Hey, I think.
Speaker2: I'm not psychotic.
Speaker1: It's psychotic in a good way. We're here to tantalize too late and probably abuse you. Just saying. It's what we do. So let the tickling begin.
Speaker3: No.
Speaker2: God, I hate that.
Speaker1: So we have exciting news. We have exciting news. We'll go to our regular sponsors first uh asn lifestyle magazine if you want to know what's going on in the adult world as well as the lifestyle make it a habit each and every month to read the new edition of asn lifestyle magazine three million readers can't be wrong also hey smoking meat bbq treats.com that's right rub your meat the right way today with your own special seasoning make your meat taste like ours with chasm a special blend uh smok what smokin m-e-a-t-s b-b-q-t-r-e-a-t-s.com you would have had it right i right? I would have. I just got... You got a butterfly because you, like, stopped, like... I know. All of a sudden, I was like... I gagged on my meat. It wasn't flavored correctly. That would be an extra $50. And, hey, clits ahoy. What? Clits ahoy. You know what? That clit, that's a special clit. It's your clit. This is my clit. This is for fun. I love it. I'll care for it. I'll take good care of it. Don't trust your clit or what's attached to it, i.e. your spouse or friend, to just any old fucking sex toy. Quality sex toys do make a difference. Motorbunny.com. A name you can trust. It'll rub it, kiss it, caress it, but it won't catch it on fire and it won't kill it. Motorbunny.com, check out the original or the brand new buck. You notice I don't have them approve the messages for it, right? Yeah, I know. Second. I'm not sure they care. Yeah, whatever. And now we are very, very proud. We'll talk about this more in a minute, but we are very proud to announce our brand new corporate partner. And we have signed a multi-year corporate partnership and agreement, and we are super jazzed about it with BasisDx. And you'll be able to find in our notes and all over links to the websites. It is the official STD, SDI testing company of Casbah Inc casma inc and all our subsidiaries it is an at-home test uh we've used it ourselves and i had tremendous results great time great speed it comes in a very nondescript box shipping to ship it back to you we were able to get the tests do the test tests, return the test, and get results within about a total of a turn-on time of about four days, and that included a weekend in there. So we are super excited to have the long-term relationship with them. They have the different testing for both Lifestyle as well as Pro. So for those of you that are possibly thinking about doing some adult content they have kits specifically for the adult world as well that has the complete testing so it's oral swabs anal swabs blood tests dental swabs and you do it all yourself and you do it all yourself for the comfort of your own home uh absolutely we are so very very excited again if you don't have the places close by or you don't or you don't feel comfortable you don't want to go in your town town or or doctors or and cost effective uh let's put it this way for us usually a testing a full test for us for the adult world is almost 400 dollars it was about half that it was 199 uh so very reasonable we will be able to, again, you'll be able to see in the show notes the website and links to it, as well as on our website, crazycasmo.com, there will be links to it. Also on Full Swap Radio and Full Swap Shop on both Miss Amanda's website and my website, Triple Xenna and MissAmanda.net will also have links. And here's the other big thing that we're excited about. This is not an affiliate program. So what that means is with affiliate programs, I tell you to go buy something, you go buy something, I get a cut of the profit because I referred you. This is not an affiliate program. We did not, we specifically did not want an affiliate program. This is not about making money off of you. This is about having as many people get tested, so we're very excited about that. So we'll talk a little bit more about that in just a few minutes. Yes, do they want to track it? Yes. Yes, we do have it set up so it's tracked so that we can see what kind of influence hopefully we can have with it. But, again, please, we encourage people to use it well i'll tell you a side note a minute we'll do so let's let's move forward so we have been back to being on the run again uh everybody knew we just had got we did a show when we since we got back from baltimore and then we had an untimely death in the family so your your mother or your stepmother passed away uh and so we just we made another trip then been home about a weekend and if even and then we were back down to mississippi which was where we were at last week and all weekend for that well we had got hold on we've been on the go we're putting miles on cars like we cannot believe uh but even while we were gone obviously the primary focus was not lifestyle stuff this last weekend but we still had some time it was almost it was like a week and a half that we're gonna have so we but we did obviously have some we got to have some family time which was great and we got to we did we got some pictures we did some pictures and stuff like that, but obviously the focus was not on the adult world, which was unfortunate for the why we were there, but it was nice to have a break from that. But, you've got a funny story about swinging from this weekend.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker2: It was a discussion with Cole and I and my sister and her husband.
Speaker1: Now, pause a second. Mind you, you need to understand that we have thought that they, this is your.
Speaker2: You have thought.
Speaker1: This is your sister's second husband. Pocky dude, whatever. Lots of stories on how it all started doesn't really matter I have thought for every day they were probably winners wouldn't have surprised super cool couple by the way he lost 100 bucks because he got a Oscar so rock on anyway so we're sitting on having a discussion go ahead we were at an oyster bar no we weren't at an oyster bar we were at my dad's house around the kitchen table oh that's right we were at an oyster bar enough. No, we weren't at an oyster bar. We were at my dad's house around the kitchen table.
Speaker3: Oh, that's right. We were at, yeah.
Speaker2: The oyster bar had a bunch of other people there.
Speaker3: Um,
Speaker2: but we were talking about my, we'll just say it low life brother.
Speaker3: Um,
Speaker2: we're trying to figure out where his money goes because he, he never has any, but he makes more than I ever did, but whatever. We're trying to figure out where his money goes because he never has any, but he makes more than I ever did. But whatever. We're trying to figure out where his money goes. And she goes, I think we figured it out. And I'm like, yeah, I'm like thinking, I think he's got a gambling issue because there's casinos left and right down there. You know, OK. And she goes, I think they're swingers and use all their money on fan sites. On those dirty fan sites.
Speaker1: And we both just stop and look at her.
Speaker2: I said, what? And she goes, well, I mean, you know, they have to, like, drain money. I said, no, that's not how that works.
Speaker1: Well, first you hesitate. You're like, no.
Speaker2: And you're like, go ahead and tell her.
Speaker1: I'm just like, just fucking say it. Just fucking say it. And I'm like, no, we are. And she's like, what? And I'm looking at you. We are. We're swingers. And that's not how that works at all. She's like, she never said a law toward. And her husband is super cool. He's a little bit older. And he just kind of has a smirk and just looks down. And she's like, ah, ah. Now I'm like all red and stuff. I'm like, I don't care. I don't fucking care. It's like, oh, my Lord. I'm like, why would you think that you waste money being a swinger? Don't tell people you're a swinger. You're not supposed to pay for sex. The other one's called prostitution. Oh, shit.
Speaker3: You either get paid for sex, you work in porn, you're paying for sex, that's prostitution, or you pay to go places to have sex, that's swinging.
Speaker1: There's substantial differences.
Speaker3: It's like, oh, okay.
Speaker1: Needless to say, she didn't bring it up for the remainder of the movie. Nope, just skated right past that topic the rest of the time. It's like, I'm sure. We're pretty sure that this kind of movie will make a revisit.
Speaker2: And probably. But on the way home, I'm like, did she really think that they were swingers? Or was she pretty much just trying to get us to admit that we were?
Speaker1: It wouldn't stress because there's been things in the past. She's fished.
Speaker2: Okay, she sent me in the mail that, the flip wax football finger candle thing.
Speaker3: Thank you. Yeah, so. I thought you would like this. Granted, we have flip off fingers on everything, but. There tends to be, so it's hard to help. But definitely the discussion, I'm sure they had a great discussion on the way home, the rest of the way, wondering,. And I guarantee it will circle around. Or she'll probably, like, let it go. I still believe that I don't know. Okay, they probably aren't swingers. I told you they're probably like, we just have sex with certain friends on our hot tub. We're not swingers, but we just like to say, yeah, there's something there. Now, do I think my brother had a threesome or something? Yeah. Yeah, well. Because his wife, his second wife, came out lesbian after they divorced. So it wouldn't surprise me if they had a threesome. He told me about times when a friend stayed the night. Okay. Yeah. There's a lot of gray areas in this this whole thing but probably our apple isn't falling too terribly far from a tree we just don't know where the tree is at this point so it's just quality entertainment trust me i'm sure before this all said thanks i was getting grilled by her youngest son our nephew why i paint my nails that's not a thing they can't relate that to oh don't quit acting like you know just because you paint my nails. Well, that's not a thing. They can't relate that to swing. Oh, don't. Quit acting like, you know. Just because you paint your nails, you can say, well, you know, my head is stuck in the 80s. And they'll be like, oh, okay. No. Don't underestimate kids. Our kids would never know that we swing. Oh, shut up. They would never know. Well, they're in our house. Why do you go to the bar all the time? No, not our kid. No, they also thought that you cheated on me. So there you go. Well, and, you know, I probably did. Oh, okay. It was great. Didn't matter then. Not officially, it's okay. Statue of limitations have passed. Ta-da! That's not how that works, but that's okay. Isn't it? No. Why not? I guess that means I need to do some cheating. Who says you haven't? You were home by yourself all the time. You dirty, dirty girl. With kids. Yeah. Not the whole time you weren't. They went to school. We went through this. Like I had. It knew everybody. How would I know? I know. Oh, and I knew so many fucking people. You worked with a whole bunch. You had a co-worker at one point in time. Who fucked a customer. Who fucked a customer. That would be cheating. Okay, good for them. I didn't fuck with it, but that's what I was going to say. And I had to clean up that mess afterwards.
Speaker1: No. Well, I did, too. What ever does it make now? Statue of limitations.
Speaker3: No. No.
Speaker2: What do you mean, no?
Speaker3: No.
Speaker1: I could have cheated on you. Awesome. In Houston. I couldn't No. I could have cheated on you.
Speaker3: Awesome. In Houston.
Speaker1: I know I could have, but I didn't.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker1: I told you about it.
Speaker2: Okay.
Speaker1: So there's that one time. I want to know what the difference is now if we fuck other people now.
Speaker2: Then it won't matter.
Speaker1: Why won't it matter? It shouldn't matter. Why won't it matter? It shouldn't matter. That if we cheated, it shouldn't matter.
Speaker2: Right.
Speaker1: Okay, so then you're saying it wouldn't be a problem. No, it wouldn't be a problem, or no, that's not what you're saying.
Speaker3: No, it wouldn't be a problem, but just expect it to be reciprocated. There you go. Phone. No. there you go no if you do it i do it really yeah oh boy you should be the only one okay wow okay good i like that this is all recorded this is awesome so so So, okay, so I get that logic now. So whatever one does, the other one gets to do. That's not what I said. If one cheats, the other one gets to. Okay, so just in general, is there more of a, you're only special on that with cheating or with just general things overall? With cheating. But nothing else counts. Just cheating. Only because you're afraid that you got it. It's on a case-by-case basis. And who decides that? Because if I get ice cream, then you get ice cream. You really can't say that. Why the fuck not? Who decides that? I had ice cream. You didn't have ice cream. I didn't want ice cream. I bought you ice cream today. And you didn't bother to tell me that either. That's awesome. I guess you should help put away groceries. I was on the phone working when that fucking, when that was happening. You're waiting for a phone call. No, I was on the fucking phone on a podcast. Jackass. I was already home when that phone call started. Well, I... It's okay. No, it's not. Yeah, I didn't know that it was ice cream. It's not okay. Josh is calling me on Messenger. You even said that.
Speaker4: Yeah, but it's still not okay because I didn't know I had ice cream.
Speaker3: And I want to go back to this.
Speaker5: Who gets to decide on the case-by-case basis?
Speaker1: We both do.
Speaker3: Oh, really? We both get to decide.
Speaker1: So that means there's always a chance of it being like a split decision. I say yes, you say no. Thank you.
Speaker2: Thank you.
Speaker1: Thank you.
Speaker2: Thank you.
Speaker1: Thank you.
Speaker4: Thank you.
Speaker1: Thank you.
Speaker2: Thank you.
Speaker1: Thank you.
Speaker3: Thank you. both get to decide so that means there's always a chance of it being like a split decision
Speaker1: i say yes you say no now we're a stale horse no stalemate stale horse i don't even know what that
Speaker2: is i don't either so now you're fucking confusing me so just drop it okay no i don't want to in
Speaker1: this case i don't want to see what we see what we have here we have an impasse
Speaker3: I don't want to. In this case, I don't want to. See what we have here? We have an impasse.
Speaker1: Why not just put a statute of limitations on everything?
Speaker2: Okay, there's a statute of limitations on everything.
Speaker1: It's passed.
Speaker3: Huh?
Speaker1: It's passed. But I mean, if anything happens after that, or before that, statute of limitations ran out, limitation ran out is, like, wiped clean. What are you hiding? Well, you're hiding ice cream, bitch. I'm not allowed to let you know. I mean, I've got to figure something out. If you're allowed to hide something, I'm allowed to hide something. Not quite the same. Doesn't make you happy when you eat ice cream?
Speaker3: No, it tastes good. It tastes good. Okay, so it tastes good. It's soothing. It's soothing.
Speaker1: It brings some sort of pleasurable experience. See, I know bullshit.
Speaker3: I want you to smile when you eat ice cream. Don't even go there. You have not.
Speaker2: The fuck I have? Smart ass I have.
Speaker1: I know bullshit. I want you to light up like a fucking kid on Christmas with some chocolate chip and ice cream.
Speaker3: Ugh.
Speaker1: It could be the same thing. Maybe I cheated and petted a fucking dog or something weird that I wasn't supposed to. I cheated on the dog. There you go. Did it bring me pleasure? Yep. Just like ice cream did you. It is the same thing. Oh, and I petted a pig. We both petted a pig. the same thing now when i petted a pig we both started a pig oh fuck yeah i petted the i i am not gonna miss an opportunity to pet any animal my stepsister has a pig and now it was a little pig and i knew she had like this little piglet because she showed it in the house right now it's this ginormous four foot long. It's about 250 pound. Big old tusks. Well, yeah, they never detusked it. It's got big tusks and it's blind. And her father-in-law hates the pig. He was eating. That's how you get that size. He was eating when I pet him. I thought he was going to be softer, but he's not. You've never petted a pig before.
Speaker3: Oh, so you didn't realize that their fur is scratchy. It's coarse. It's coarse, yeah. It's coarse. I would assume it would be like petting a fucking porcupine. Larry, Larry, thanks a lot. I want ice cream.
Speaker2: Well, apparently coming to my house, Larry, there's some in the freezer that I didn't know about. Surprise.
Speaker3: Yeah, no, because you can slap a pig around.
Speaker1: I don't really care. I'm not going to slap a pig to find out. You can slap him on the ass and sit on his back and watch that motherfucker go. I mean, it will fuck, ee, and shoot it off there. It'll be fun, I don't know. You know, screw it like a stuck pig. Okay, so. Stick it. So, how do their little chihuahuas not get just mangled? Because they keep the pig away from the dogs. And the little chihuahuas know they're little, so they stay the fuck out of the way of the fucking pig. And they keep the pig separate. I mean, that pig, that's an outside pig. That pig is no longer an inside pig. You want to know what's going to kill that pig now? Down there? What could get it?
Speaker3: It would be like if you had mountain lion roaming around.
Speaker4: Maybe a fucking bobcat roaming around.
Speaker3: A bobcat could. Maybe a mountain lion could. Or if you had, because there are bears in the area. There are bears in the area. An alligator or a bear. There's no bears down there. Oh, yeah. No, there's not. Everglades are bears.
Speaker1: Yeah. We're not even close to Everglades. One can meander. There's not a lot of fucking housing for mountain lions in Nebraska, but they're around. You could probably get a snake. You could probably get it, too. I mean, if it's a big enough, like, python or something. Water moccasin, maybe. No, like a big python or something. I'd have to get it. But that's pretty big. I don't know. He was a big pig. He's a big pig. It would fuck up a dog. It was docile. I've never known anybody to have a pet pig. It was docile. I mean, it's really, really docile. No, it was worried about eating. It doesn't matter. It was really docile. It wasn't going to. But if a dog fucked with it, I mean, he'd fuck up a hound pretty easily. But a big enough dog, like a wolfhound or a massive, would take it. But, yeah. They can be there. Pigs are friendly as hell. But they'll eat anything. So that's why, what's the joy of knowing that she has a pig that big is we can kill somebody and we can take it to her house. Because that's what you do. You don't have to shop them up. Pigs kill farmers every year. They'll attack it and then if they knock you out, then they'll eat you. Right. And so that's the great thing. If you need to get rid of a dead body, you just take it to a pig farmer. Or, in this case, your neighbor who happens to have a pot-bellied pig gone wild. Just saying. So, yeah. It wasn't cute. It's cute in its own fat, piggy little way. It was still, like, pinkish with white fur. It didn't have a lot of fur on it. Maybe because it's old. No, because they're not a... It's not a woolly pig. No, but I've seen, like, someone had a picture of a pig on their lap, and it was a black or brown pig. I'm like, oh, wait, you're going to mess pets. Their skin will be that color. But there are certain types of wild hogs that are fuzzy or furry, but most of them are like that. A pig can live quite a while, I think. I don't know. I've never priced out a pig's life. The problem I would have is because I'd be a smart ass and I'd name it something cute like bacon or bacon bits. I didn't ask what his name was. Did you hear what his name was? It was like snot. Snot. It wasn't actually snot, but it was something like that. If anybody can tell me what reference movie I'm referenced with that, the animal's name is snot, it will send you some sort of prize. Just saying. It's because I'm in that sort of a mood. Nobody's going to listen to it. Whatever. Cole's just babbling. The average pig lifespan. Up to 20 years in captivity. There you go. There you go. Boy, you'd be committed on that one. Well, it's like having a kid. It's like having a kid. Except I wanted to stay this small little piglet. You can keep it little, but the thing is, at least when the pig's at 20 years, the problem is it's not going to be as tender, but at least you can have a going-away party with your pet pig. Chops are done. It's horrible. Just a little bit. Stop it. Sticking stuff up there. That would be fun. Anyways. So, yeah. So, there's that. So, we have now. Now, other cool. What other cool stuff do we have going on? We don't have anything really cool going on. Now, it's like. Well, everything's about. It's quiet time. No, it's not quiet time. Fuck you. It's 163 days, so I can't have you on. It's not quiet time. We actually just had a today. Don't roll your fucking eyes. I didn't roll eyes. God damn it. What? I am so far, much further ahead than I've ever been with one of these. I agree. I don't fucking just slap the chit. He's threatening me harm i'll show you bodily harm oh fucking pig show a snout up your fucking cooter uh no we just had we just had three uh three sets of uh three couples from massachusetts by texas today so it's pretty exciting because it's gonna be exciting how to add The whole thing's been getting ready for Exotica because that's coming up in October. And we've got, there's going to be like 10 booths in Exotica. Handing out our stuff for KWN because they're doing seminars and stuff.
Speaker3: People are coming.
Speaker1: So all over New Jersey, there's going to be a shit ton of stuff people are talking about. Crazy winter nights. Look at this, we're winning. I can't imagine flying from Massachusetts to Kansas City. They're kind know them what they're having. No shit. And then, yeah, so now it's just about getting you fucked a lot. Pretty much. Because you're probably going to be going to Arizona in the next couple weeks. Actually, that's where it's going to happen. A couple weeks ago. Yep, you'll be going to Arizona where it's warm for a couple of days of shooting. Darn it, it's going to be hot. I'll be left, you know, to my own devices. But it's not cheating wearing a lifestyle clean slate. I don't know. It's been interesting because there's been, you're you're in this fucking oh you have a wedding is that going to interfere with that uh no the wedding would be is the 20th no it's not the week before it's a couple days before uh uh oh yeah kc airworth no so it's it's funny because i'm watching a lot of a lot a lot of people getting, of course, wound up for Halloween. Which we are, too. I mean, it's the swinger. I ordered my costume. Which, obviously, we went away from what we were planning to do. Yeah. Well, I wanted something I could wear at Exotica, too. Right. So now nobody cares what the hell I'm going to ask. I would go as a biker Santa. You could go on that same theme if you wanted. You could go as a biker Santa, but nobody fucking cares about that. You don't look good in the bed. Yeah, so I'm putting some rubber fucking suit. That ought to be sexy as fuck. Sniff my juices. I had to find a superhero with long hair. I ain't cutting my fucking hair. Is there a superhero with long hair? Superman actually came back in the Doomsday episodes. Had long hair. Which was pretty fucking badass. I can't lie, but it was dark. Just saying. So you'd get the kid muscly thing like you did before. Right, yeah. I could, but I could get the adult muscle. Then you wouldn't swelter. Yeah, you know. It is what it is. I can't see you doing Superman. What?
Speaker2: Because you're such a Batman fan.
Speaker1: Yeah, I am, but Superman, I could, well, the problem is I've got to find one that has a beard and shit, too. So, basically, there's no, I'm closer to doing, like, aqua, actually, the only thing I can do is, like, the Green Arrow.
Speaker3: Had goatee, it's basically Robin Hood with a better bow. It just, that'd be horrible. Just saying. I can do Aquaman because I look almost like Jason Momoa. Thor. Here's the thing. I could do Thor or Odin. Because if you give me an eye patch, I can look like Thor or Odin. Okay. These, to me, aren't fucking superheroes, but whatever. Thor is. He's a god.
Speaker2: Thor, Tarzan,
Speaker3: Sentry, I don't even know who that is, Lobo, Conan, and Doc Samson.
Speaker1: Put Odin.
Speaker3: Type in Odin.
Speaker2: Because I can go as an old Odin.
Speaker3: Is he a superhero?
Speaker1: He's Thor's dad, Odin. Jeez. Looky there. There's this guy. Right, and I don't look like that guy. No one else to know who I am. He has long hair. I could straighten your hair. I could just go as Robert Plant. I've got a fish. Look up Odin. Why won't you look up Odin? Jeez Louise. Oh, who's that? Oh, he's a Finnish superhero. Right. That you look, well. Wow, okay, wait. If you can see the picture, it's this picture of this old guy, right, with long-haired beard. He's not an old guy. He has a mustache and a beard. Where I held back was the muscly figure. Yeah, he's like, ooh, this guy looks like Odin. Or that guy. See, Odin would work great. Because I can look like Odin. If you would just type Odin in. But you won't fucking do it. God. All right. Bless you once. I'll knock it off. Oh, give me goosebumps. Orgasms or sneezing. No, that hurt my head. Mine too. Ow. I'm not done. How about now? I thought it was like hiccups, I could scare them out of you. No, so people are getting ready for Halloween, which is a lot of fun. Will you please type in Odin? I'm trying to, but I can't see what I'm typing. Odin. I put Ofen. Not Ofen. You should just be Uncle Jesse. I could be Uncle Jesse, because I could wear my bib overalls. Fuck you, Larry. I could be Uncle Jesse. He gives me dishes. Huh? Fuck. Not right now. We're on the air. I'm allergic to you. Put Odin from the movie Thor.
Speaker2: I keep getting Odin recipe. I'm like, what the fuck?
Speaker1: Oh, my Lord. This makes great podcasting.
Speaker3: Damn it.
Speaker1: I could be Uncle Jesse. You're actually skinny enough. You could be Daisy Duke. But now you're not going to be Daisy Duke because you're already something else. Oh, my God. I just want you to yank the phone out of your hands. I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker2: I don't know.
Speaker1: I don't know.
Speaker4: I don't know.
Speaker1: I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker2: I don't know.
Speaker1: I don't know. I don the phone out of your hands. You're driving me nuts. Okay, good. Odin from the movie Thor. Do you want me to help her? Fuck off. Ah! I can't help it. I wish that worked with Steven. I was an old guy. Right. With one eye. Tell me I don't look like him with my Santa shit. Look at the porn video shoot. Look at the porn video of me and tell me I don't look like Odin. Fuck. A porn version? What? If you look at the porn shots, I'd look like Odin. Put a patch over my one eye, I would look like Odin. This is why we have so many listeners. Anyways, so, yeah, so obviously Halloween's coming up, and you know.
Speaker2: My poor nose. It got all clogged up. I don't know what caused me to sneeze a lot, and now my nose is all clogged up. Thank you. My poor nose. I got all clogged up. I don't know what caused me to sneeze a lot. And now my nose is all clogged up.
Speaker3: It's all right.
Speaker1: Well, good thing you don't just suck dick any time around. You'd be like. That'd be horrible. Just saying.
Speaker3: I don't.
Speaker1: My bib overhaul is the wrong color to be Uncle Jesse. Anyways, so that's it.
Speaker2: They're just faded, aren't they?
Speaker1: Yes, they're faded, yeah.
Speaker2: We can fade yours, bleach them out a little.
Speaker1: Well, maybe I don't want to go as Uncle Jesse. Maybe I'd rather go as Odin, the fucking superhero, and look fucking cool.
Speaker3: Okay. God.
Speaker1: Thanks, Larry. Now I've got to go as Uncle Jesse.
Speaker2: No, I never said go.
Speaker1: I could drive as my pickup because it would fit his pickup, too. That's what's really funny. Old beat-up white pickup. Okay. See? That's taken all the way. That's going to win the awards right there. Uncle Jesse, look at the truck I drove. See? That's what you want to do. Give some swinger-y advice for Halloween. Swinger-y advice for Halloween? Well, yeah, that's kind of what we're talking about so it sounds like we're talking about something that's fucking and milking a fading girl uh trend trend's on hey trend aren't you uh you do piercings, correct, my friend? If so, please say yes. Miss Amanda's got a question for you.
Speaker2: Not for on here.
Speaker1: Jesus. What the fuck?
Speaker2: Why wouldn't it be? I have a pissed off nipple.
Speaker1: We talked about my not getting removed. We can talk about your fucking
Speaker2: pissed off nipple. Okay, so I actually
Speaker3: had
Speaker2: protein-rich plasma injected in my boobs. It has nothing to do with my nipples. The only thing it does do is I had to wear a sports bra Thank you. I had protein-rich plasma injected in my boobs. It has nothing to do with my nipples. The only thing it does do is I had to wear a sports bra for two weeks. Well, when you snag your boob and catch the ring beforehand, then when you go to put a sports bra and it smickens you in, it's pissed off. That's the one that has never completely, totally healed, though. It has, but it just keeps acting up keeps acting up trent what can she do it's the one i catch the most it's the one that she doesn't has no control where it's just out here doing its own thing what can she do bigger than the other it's not that one though other than keeping control of where her tits are so that it doesn't get wrapped around trees i caught it on a jacket one time your one time, your jacket, when I was giving her a haircut, topless. Okay, that's my fault. I've caught it on a door jam the last time we were in New Jersey. We're terrified of everything she gets in and out of the car. I actually, since I started putting tea tree oil on it, it has gotten better. Right, but this is who we're going to reach out to just to to make sure, so that we don't have to... I hope it's not rejecting it and forcing it out, and I'll be pissed off.
Speaker1: You don't have, like, weeping tits. What can she do to fucking heal it up quick?
Speaker2: What's a weeping tit?
Speaker1: It's like a weeping tree, but it's not your tits.
Speaker2: I ordered bigger bars. They come tomorrow. These are the same bars I've had in for seven, eight years.
Speaker1: If she just glues it in and clogs them both ends, will that heal it up? Will we be done with it that way? Will that take care of it? Ouch. What the fuck? I'm just trying to help you. Okay, wait, wait. He's got to baby the shit out of it. Keep it clean. Try not to get it caught on shit, dumbass. Tea tree oil can't help at times. So can emu. Oh, we need an emu. No, you don't need an emu. We get to get an emu for your titties. No, it's the oil. Right, we'll pet it for the oil. You're going to be able to rub your tit on an emu. That's awesome. I want an emu so fucking bad. Where can we get an emu at? You are fucked in the head. It's like a big fucking parrot. Are you sure it's not made from the fat in their body? Maybe. It's like a big fucking parrot. I don't know if you can teach an emu to talk, but it's worth a try. Emu want a cracker? I am babying that shit. I'm washing it with antibacterial soap. I could do it every time somebody has their mouth on it. And we're going to start putting cones around her tits so that she can see it better when she's walking. So it't just randomly slap into other shit. I'm trying to let air get to
Speaker2: it instead of being confined in a bra.
Speaker1: I want an emo.
Speaker2: So it can hang free. But then when you ride in the car it gets snagged again. It's all just a big
Speaker3: nightmare.
Speaker1: Maybe you're just not mature enough to have tits.
Speaker2: I lost my belly button ring today. I'm just screwed.
Speaker1: Oh, you get the oil on Amazon. Why don't you get an emu on Amazon? I doubt it. An emu would be cute because they come as a baby, as a chick. So it would be a little like scurrying around. They don't have any wings. It's like this neck. An emu would be a blast. Every so often we go through, I want this exotic pet. I want this exotic pet. It would be. I want this exotic pet. Do you know how cool a crazy wedding night would be if we were walking our pet emu? No, because you have to clean up the shit. They don't shit. They shit outside your train. They don't shit. They don't shit outside your train. Birds only shit when they take off and umus can't fly. Never shit, it'll be fine. Oh, would you like some eggs for bacon? Emu egg. I'm telling you, Elvis and an emu would have more fucking fun with each other. They wouldn't know what to do with each other. No more pets. You don't let me get any... I can't get a vest. Can't get an alligator. Can't get a fucking zebra. Can't get a kangaroo. can't get a fucking wall bear, can't get an umu, can't get an otter, can't dye my hair black, can't do this, there's more, Jesus fucking Christ. You would look dumb with your hair dyed black. But just think, if I was walking a kangaroo, no one would have noticed my hair was dyed black, now would they? Just saying. I don't have to have all of it, can we just have bits and pieces? No. What if I get one just for Halloween for a prop? What if I went as an emu herder for Halloween and I gave it back? You know, as an emu itself. If you let me get an emu, I will go as an emu. Because emu's suit should be in pairs. That'd be funny as hell. You do not want an emu.
Speaker3: That's from somebody who's had an emu then.
Speaker4: You have emu experience and that's fucking cool and I want to know more about it.
Speaker1: I need a friend that has an exotic animal farm so I can go fuck around with exotic animals and then come home to my just dogs.
Speaker3: I'm going to have any. I don't get any.
Speaker2: I'm telling you what. Win the lottery.
Speaker1: You can get your own little your own little zoo shut the fuck up I don't beat you everybody saw when we first got on you were hitting me you were hitting me I was hitting on you no you were hitting me I wouldn't mind an around attack. I don't know. A little monkey, well, if it doesn't look evil. A spider monkey would be fun, but those thumbs scare the hell out of me. And there are huge, smelly birds that can be violent. That would keep the neighbors away. Do the neighbors come bug you? They won't with a fucking emu emu they don't anyway I'd get a leather jacket I would get a leather jacket and a spike collar if it says my badass emus can make you wear more sunglasses
Speaker2: emus can make you wear more sunglasses
Speaker1: no you can make an emu wear a sunglasses you can put more sunglasses on all wild animals are kind of small
Speaker3: that's the problem
Speaker1: otters make weird noises
Speaker2: they're destructive
Speaker1: I googled that shit because you really wanted an otter. I really wanted an otter. And I looked it up and they are destructive. No, they just get bored easily. Destructive. If we had the dog and the otter together, you would have got pet raccoons. No, the raccoons won't come play with me. Yeah, pet raccoons. The pet raccoons won't come play with me yeah pet raccoons the pet raccoons won't come play with me the thing is is that the otters would get rid of them fucking raccoons okay if I could catch a raccoon and have it be like a little baby I'd actually raise one yeah so that it's okay okay so I want an emu egg or a baby otter I said like a baby beaver cause a gal rescued a beaver and they fucking I watched the videos it was all the time it was in the house like it's constantly pulling shit building like stacks of shit everywhere so like it would go into the kids room and take all of it's toys and like stuff them in the hallway to try to build like a dam in the hallway the hallway. I'm like, that would be the fucking coolest thing ever. Fucking busy as a beaver. Yeah, but then you have
Speaker2: to fucking put it away. Every fucking
Speaker1: time I'd be like, hey, look, busy as a beaver. I would just fucking, I would love that shit. That would be so, that, I would have so much fun, like, watching the beaver. I would be constantly throwing more shit out there to see how much shit the beaver can stack up. I know me. Look, the amount of unproductive shit I don't know.
Speaker2: I don't know.
Speaker1: I don't know. I don amount of unproductive shit and hours I could waste with any sort of animal. Like, if I got a parrot, instead of working on KWN, I would be teaching it to talk. I know me. The only thing, parrots live to be like 75 years old. No, the only thing is I cuss a lot. And is the fucking parrot's gonna learn every dirty word i know pussy pussy i can hear it now it's like uh i'm sorry that's just my parrot uh but like if i had a monkey i would like a kid in a candy store you don't say if i had a monkey i would be trying to train to go get me shit and stuff if you know i mean it would you want a peacock no because they're a lot well i'd like the feathers i would if i could get it so i could like pet it so i could touch it for the feathers i like to be tickled but they're noisy as fuck i would like it to piss off my neighbors that'd be funny as hell i'd be out there fucking but they're they're annoying as fuck they're they're dumb but most most of them i mean i, shit that'd be fun to fuck with, that'd be fun to, you know, a beaver or a platypus or some shit, or an otter that's running all over the fucking place, would be fun as hell. I mean, that would be cool. Where the hell do you get a platypus from? Australia, New Zealand, they're really mean, I guess. A koala bear would be fun. I'd love a sloth. Do you know how much fun it would be to walk around all day with a sloth around
Speaker3: my neck?
Speaker1: I would be fucking with that sloth for hours.
Speaker2: When I was a kid, I wanted a pet
Speaker1: koala bear. And they're mean as hell, too.
Speaker2: Never did I think I'd ever have one. I just always wanted one. I don't want one now. Oh, it'd be awesome. Would I go to Australia and hold one? Fuck yeah.
Speaker1: Do you know how much fun it'd be a sloth? Because I could put it in a bedroom, and you'd go to sleep, and the sloth would just be, like, hanging about you. Just hanging there. That kind of shit would fucking... Do you know how much less I would touch myself? Because I'd be fucking playing with the animals versus, like, watching porn and jacking off. Seriously. I would be finding reasons to open. I'd be hoping religious people would come to the door so I could open the door with the sloth around my neck. When the mailman comes, give the sloth the mailman. When are you going shopping? There's a place in Kansas. If somebody wants to get Santa a present like a reindeer, that'd be cool as fuck. A reindeer, there is an exotic market in Kansas. I know where it's at. If someone will drive. One time they were trying to sell a kangaroo. A red-tailed kangaroo came from a petting zoo. Like $1,500. Friendly as fuck. He was about to go down and get it. And I'm like, yeah, no. Where are you going to put it? Where are you going to keep it? Can you even have them in Lincoln? It's not allowed. It's not like a rooster that's going to... It's a fucking kangaroo.
Speaker3: All you're going to...
Speaker2: You make horrible rooster sounds.
Speaker3: Probably.
Speaker1: All I know is you can say it all you want until you fucking can store shit in that pocket. I'm telling you. You've loaded up a kangaroo's pocket. At Halloween, out there hopping. Oh, you want some trick or treat? Reach into the bag. And the kangaroo pouch. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know where it's at. She says she doesn't know where it's at. I'll reach out to you. And you can send me a list of what animals, because they always are selling petting zoo animals. I want to have a petting zoo occasionally at winter nights. I think that would be awesome.
Speaker2: No, it wouldn't.
Speaker1: People like to touch things.
Speaker2: Usually other people at a swing or event.
Speaker1: Not necessarily. Everybody would, we encourage people to wash their hands if they went to the petting zoo before they went to touch other people, just saying. You know, That's just, you know. Look, if we bought a reindeer, that's just a work expense. Oh, whatever. Oh. We could get a camel. What are we going to do this weekend? We could get a camel. Guess what day it is? Guess what? I would totally... I would walk that camel up and down the neighborhood. Everyone would say, it's hump day! This weekend, what are we doing? You're taking more dirty pictures.
Speaker2: You're going to take some, too, aren't you?
Speaker1: Well, I mean, yeah. I'm going to... Yes.
Speaker3: Yes.
Speaker2: You have a calendar to do.
Speaker1: So here's the thing. Our calendars are going to be out before we go to Exotica. Yours for sure is. But I have to take more pictures because I really don't look like any of the ones I took before. Like next week, it's going to go. Your pictures are getting shipped. Yes. To get the calendar made. So it's like, you know. So I ordered a couple more outfits to take pictures. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait. Wait a minute. Larry, I know a guy who has most of these animals in Nebraska. Dude, we're supposed to be friends.
Speaker2: It's called the zoo.
Speaker1: Why don't you fucking, like, why are we not, like.
Speaker2: It's called the zoo.
Speaker1: It's not a guy. That's a location. He says he knows a guy that has most of them. Anyway, so we're going to go shoot more pictures. So, yeah, the calendar's coming out.
Speaker2: We do have that. Because I'm like, what do we have something? And I've got to start pushing this. I've got Santa stuff. Because I'm starting to get, like, real Santa gigs. Yeah, he is. Which I'm like, fuck. Because I really want to do more fucking fun Santa gigs. It's what I... Because we've got to... Oh, you want to fuck more. Right, yeah. Yeah, because I found out that fucking Santa's fun as hell. Yeah. Yeah. That's weird. Coming up with all the fucking.
Speaker1: Ho. So, yeah. We can have a petting zoo.
Speaker2: You're still stuck on the petting zoo.
Speaker1: I'm just in the mood for something new. That's why I'm a swinger.
Speaker2: Then go fuck people. Don't get more zoo animals.
Speaker1: We have no place to put that them sometimes it's fun to find animals yes daddy yeah yeah shut up
Speaker2: we all knew that was coming
Speaker1: I'm sending you somewhere to Philadelphia no Boston Boston is where I'm sending you to get your your feet fetish videos
Speaker2: how far is that from Salem
Speaker1: I don't know. That was coming. I'm sending you somewhere to Philadelphia. No, Boston. Boston is where I'm sending you to get your feet fetish videos. Yeah. How far is that from Salem? I'll have to look that up. Yeah, I'll have to get a hold of people out there and take you out there. That's what we need to do today. We're out there cursing things. Great. Fucking perfect. That would be before Halloween, right? Probably, yeah. No, no. Absolutely not. I'm not letting you go to Salem. Why? I'm not sending you to do feet fetish videos, as ticklish as you are, and then sending you to fucking Salem with your witchcraft shit. So when you're all pissed off because your feet have been tickled crazy with dicks and tongues and whatever, my assholes and I'm like sprouting fucking toad arms and shit half hour by train thanks Patrick I really appreciate that right now what the fuck are we doing can I get an owl I might allow an owl because they stay outside no little baby owls are really cute we had a whole bunch in Right. But they need to be inside as you train them. But we could have an owl. And that would be your witchy shit. And we could have a delivered male. I swear to God, I would teach an owl to deliver male from one side of the house to the other. I absolutely, if I get an owl, as God is my, Larry, you have to tell me. As God is my witness, if I get an owl, I'm going to train the owl to take an envelope from my office and find you wherever you're at in the house and drop it on you.
Speaker3: That's good.
Speaker1: We won't have any mice in the house anymore. Because the owl will take care of that fucking shit. Unlike our lazy, we won't have Sean anymore either because the owl will probably take care of that too. But not a bad, we'll train it to be nice to death girl but just saying yeah that'd be fun so we could do an L alright don't get your hopes up they'll ride on your broomstick with you you don't have have one. Really? I do, but I don't. Wait a minute, let me see. You have the sweeping broom, and you have the hang-up riding broom over on the other wall. You call it a riding broom. It's not a riding broom. According to the video I have, the one Halloween of you going down the street, it is a riding broom Yes. If you would like to see a video of Miss Amanda hopping down the street in public, sober, Halloween, because she's on a broom, I got her to do it, and I took a video. See why I will get an emu, otter, or some other sort of thing eventually. It's just not a word. And I remember stopping and flipping you off and keeping going. You did, but you hopped right down there as you hopped down this fucking straight-on-air broom. That was awesome. And that's the riding broom, because we went and got it special for you. So we're asking if you want to try it out in the store or take it for a test run.
Speaker2: It's at the Asian store.
Speaker1: Yep, exactly. So, yeah. I'm in on a zebra. It's good. Whatever anybody wants to get me, I'll take whatever. You know, she can't get mad at you if you send us an animal gift.
Speaker2: You know Oprah Winfrey has lemurs. No, it isn't. It's, um, fuck. What's her name? The chick that lives in Cheers. Reappearment. No. No. Sam's girlfriend. Diane. No. Allie. The one's dead? Yes. She had lemurs? She had lemurs. Huh? She's dead. Did she eat them again?
Speaker3: Those pets. She's dead. I don't know. What happened to them? I don't know. But, you know, they went to an auction to a good home. I'd give a lemur a good home.
Speaker1: Just saying.
Speaker3: I also want a penguin. If anybody knows where I can get a king penguin, they're the same size as Amanda's. I would really like one. Please let me know.
Speaker4: It's important.
Speaker3: Okay, so.
Speaker1: Just say no. Remember, we'll have more things in some of our Halloween episodes coming up, like swinger tip. We'll actually talk about swinger shit at some point in time on some of this Halloween stuff, I suppose. Yeah, today, I mean, well, we got back yesterday morning. The big thing today, here's the big tip, and this is actually leading to it. Get fucking tested. Get tested before Halloween parties. No matter whatever your testing is, if you know you're going to go to a big event, like, get tested. Get tested before you go. Get tested like two weeks before you go. So if you happen to pop not clean, you can take something to cure that. You can take care of it. The thing is, or if you're going to hook up with somebody and you're pre-planning that you know what there's nothing wrong with saying hey get tested let's let it will share results everybody knows there's nothing wrong with that just like there's nothing wrong or if you've just been recently tested and you hook up at like a big event it's a great idea to go ahead and get tested afterwards just saying so that is what this show so we did have a swinger theme somewhere in the show not really not we've gone over testing before but well but i'm excited because the at home shit i'm excited because it's so nice because it was easy you didn't actually have to be seen in public. To get PASS certified, which is what they require for a lot of places for porn stars, we have to go to Kansas City. Well, and here's a side note I've got to mention with their testing. Every test comes with an anal swab, oral swab, genital swab. If you don't have anal sex, you don't have to do the anal swab. No. Not that much. Because we do, as porn people, because it's porn, that's just the rules. But most people don't. You know, if you don't have anal sex, then there's no reason to have that. And I say that so I don't want a guy to go, I'm not getting in with an anal swab don't you know you don't have to do that one you leave that one out and actually it wasn't that bad because before well in kansas city it was like a bristle yeah i mean but i mean i'm just with a bristle i specifically talked about that and the other thing they're doing this different because there's a blood draw and when the one we did was prick your finger which is kind of a pain in prick your finger and then you just it's easier to have somebody help milk it into the little tube and they only take like they are releasing there's coming a new thing that's coming that you'll put it's a patch you'll put on your shoulder and it'll suck the blood out off and under it'll prick it and suck it yep to make it easier so the thing is you and guys, it's the same thing. Here's the deal. You know, if you don't do, I mean, you'd be surprised. The throat swab is important, guys and girls. Well, it's important because you can transmit things with kissing and everything else. Here's the reality of it. Think about this for a minute. Think about the people you've known that are hardcore condoms. Sweet. How many of them had a dental dam? And when was the last time you saw a girl stuck in a dick covered in a condom? Yeah. So the thing is, is it's good to do. But don't let if you guys don't let if you don't have anal sex, don't let the anal swab scare you away from it. But the thing is.
Speaker2: Not the regular test, I don't think, had the anal swab.
Speaker1: Yes, it does. It does include all of them.
Speaker2: I didn't look at it.
Speaker1: Yeah, we talked about it. So the thing is, is don't, but God, if you live in a rural community, your post person is not going to know. There's nothing. It was a white box and I actually thought it was hair products. Yeah, there's nothing. I'm telling you that there is no longer any of the normal fears of a small community or known doctors or whatever to not get tested. It's all gone. It's all gone. So please, let's try to make Halloween, if everybody makes everything to make Halloween, the safest swinger Halloween we've ever had. That would be really cool. I can tell you this. Those of us that are in the adult world would be much more apt to get to have fun at swinger events if the swingers were getting tested as much as we had to. Just because you know, because you can't, you know, we get something, we go to an event, and we get something that it can cost you, not me so much, but I mean, obviously, more active ones like you, it can cost you shoots. So, let's make it safe. So anyways, but we'll put that out. And if you have questions, email us. Email us, messages, whatever. We'll give you links, whatever, to all that. Because it is very cool. And you'll hear it because, like I say, they're corporate partners. So, they'll part every part of the week. And you'll hear commercials and all kinds of shit. So, there you go. Look at you do that really fast. Yeah, I know. I know. Now I'm just depressed because I'm not going to get a fucking zoo animal. I feel bad because our shows just go so off course, but, you know, whatever.
Speaker2: Off course, to a degree, is not a bad thing.
Speaker1: No, it's not.
Speaker2: He always thinks it's a bad thing. I'm like, well, if it's funny, who cares?
Speaker3: I don't give a shit. Yeah.
Speaker2: Do you not give a shit?
Speaker3: No.
Speaker1: I will tell you this. In the next week's show, we will talk about the new Mormon Wives TV series, which is an absolute horrible, horrible thing for the lifestyle. We'll talk about that in the coming weeks. You guys don't even know what that is. It's a true story, and they are fucking, the amount of bullshit and stereotypes they're promoting in the lifestyle is horrendous. It is horrible. But we're not Mormon. No, I know, but it's the new catchphrase thing. Getting polygamy? No, it's not polygamy. They use that as the catch part of it because they're all out of Utah. And it's swingers, and they're just fucking like nobody needs to be tested. I mean, they're just like like it is horrible for the Swinger community. We've got shows coming out. Shows that are on our radio station coming out that have been reached out to by national things to get their opinions on the show because it is so fucking... Really? Yeah. So we'll talk about that in the coming episodes. We've got all kinds of cool stuff to talk about coming up. So we'll make it swingers again, I swear, kids. Again, shout out to our sponsors. MotorBunny.com ASMLifestyleMagazine.com SmokingMeetsBBQTreats.com Also, don't forget, seriously, go to CrazyCatsby.com Get your tickets. Get your hotel rooms for crazy winter nights. I know we're 163 days away, but I'm telling you, it is filling up quickly. I have two more groups that are going to get codes going out in the next couple of days and that will fill, these rooms are going to fill up fast. So you don't, if you don't want to be in one of the spillover hotels, check it out. But if you want to meet people from all over the world, this is a great opportunity to do that. So, just saying. Anything else you want to say? Yeah.
Speaker3: With that, I've got to work on a radio station.
Speaker4: With that being said, kids,
Speaker3: the only way I know how, the only way I want to, the only way I ever fucking will. Hope y'all had fun.
Speaker1: We sure did.
Speaker3: Kazma Style, out. Bye.