Krazy Truth about Swinging #361 SHHHHHHH

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey, you crazy motherfuckers. Welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth About Swing. I'm the host with the most cool. I'm here with the lovely, lovely, and not going to fuck anything up, Miss Amanda. Hey. Why would they not fuck anything up? You said you're not going to fuck anything up this close to Exotica. Oh, okay. That means she's not going to take and hit herself with a brush or a door, shove a fucking log of her cooter and tear something, have a baby, no episiotomies. It's all good. Anyways, for those of you who follow along at home. It's kind of hard to do that when you don't have a uterus, but that's okay. Not maybe. I kind of wish you could. I don't want another kid, but I sure would like the fucking miracle money we'd get. Go on me! She's popping up, kids. One looks like Jesus. Anyways, okay, so... What the fuck? Didn't buy a lottery ticket today. Good choice. This is Season 9, Episode 361. We're not even live in your fucking sucking ghost dick. Jesus. Different day, different time. You're so... It's this room. There's something about it that makes me yawn. Wow, we should do some porns in here because that could be the name of the porn. Yawn? Yawn, Series 1. Anyways. It could be a fetish. You don't know that. It could be. Ghost fucking. Anyways, Seasons 9, Episode 361. Shout out to our sponsors before we get going, because that's what they like when they remember to actually say their names. ASNLifestyleMagazine.com. Check out everything if you want to know what's going on in the adult world, as well as the lifestyle. Check it out. You'll see us in there. Our new ads should be running this month. Rock on. For crazy winter nights. Don't forget the ASN Awards. Nominations end, like, Tuesday. Tuesday. And then voting starts like next Friday. So. If you need help navigating the website. Let us know. Just shoot us an email. We will tell you. Crazy.casbet.gmail.com. Because I had to go through it. I'm like, how the fuck do you do this? And I'm like, okay, this is ridiculous. Oh my God, this is historic. A, you just jumped in. Then you gave out web addresses. That was an email, not a web address. Still, whatever. It was just like, wow. It's historic. It only took 360 reviews. episode 361. Look at this go. Motorbunny.com. Oh, my God. Motorbunny.com. If you want to top quality product, the name you know you can trust, motorbunny.com is the way to go. You can get those on full swap shop as well as that. Obviously, you can click on the links on any of our pages. It'll give you a discount. They're also one of, just like ASN, they're one of our corporate partners, which is awesome. And we know, here's the deal. I'm going to pick a different one this time. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. 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No, we're not doing it live. We're not doing it live. So we're just doing it in the studio, trying to get caught up because we've got a lot of stuff coming up. We've been a little... Our brains have been too preoccupied the past couple weeks. So needless to say, we are sitting here on a Saturday night. Yeah. Hip, young now, it's what we do. But we're getting caught up. We're going to do another show on Tuesday as well. We wanted to get caught up. So, you know, I was motivated. I have an interesting topic. It's not really... It's a topic, though, that I think we all deal with. Really. This is really kind of... You know, sometimes what makes any relationship good is limited knowledge, limited experience, limited time. Like, there was a guy I used to work with years ago in the car dealership. Him and his ex-wife. Married couple. living together in the same house. Bad. Divorced. Living next to each other. Still friends, but having the space. Great. They still spent time together. I worked with them, too. Yeah, you worked with them. Great. Danny DeVito and I can't think. Rhea Perlman. Rita. Rita Perlman. Divorced. They're not divorced, but they live separate lives because as friends, that works great for them. Sometimes you can know too much about someone, see too much about someone, whatever. The lifestyle is unique. And this will be interesting to get your opinions on this. But sometimes the best part of the lifestyle is that you don't have to know that much. about somebody. You can just, the basic, for us, I know we like to sport fuck, so we don't even need to know your name. Just saying. We used to, whatever. Back in the day. Memories. Right. But, and I know some people want to to, they need more connection than sport bucking. But do you find, or is there a point where it can get too much? I mean, everybody has a different level. I don't need to know about the challenges of your day-to-day life. Because I have my own challenges of my day-to-day life. Nothing against yours. Nothing against mine. But we're at this thing to have fun, so I don't fucking care. Right? I don't need to know that. I think that's pretty self-explanatory. But the bigger challenge in the lifestyle is, As you get to know someone more, you get to see ugly more. Right? You get to all of a sudden see how certain things don't align. And everybody's saying maybe it's values, maybe it's ethics, maybe it's opinions. Maybe it's just being negative. Maybe it's being negative. Maybe it's... Because if you're going to sit there and grump to me about everything that happens in your life, your day-to-day life. Why do I even want to be around you? Exactly. Maybe it's what they're passionate about. But it's not mean because you're killing the vibe. Maybe it's what they're passionate about. Maybe it's the exact opposite of what you're passionate about. But maybe it's figuring out the happy medium to know when to share. There's a lot of parts that go into this. But one of the things that starts to happen is you start to talk more and more to people. it's amazing how someone that you find attractive, and I'm not going to say an attractive person, because what is an attractive person? Everybody's different. Right. But it's amazing how a person that you find attractive in the matter of short conversations can become ugly. Mm-hmm. And it makes me, I had a couple experiences in the past couple weeks with this, and that's That's why it's on the forefront of my brain. It makes me understand that how many times there are things that, you know, I never used to be able to understand why people would prejudge me. Like, get it. I mean, you know, there's something, you hear something, you just make sure it's like fingernails on a chalkboard. So the question becomes, can it stop you from being able to fuck them? Honestly, in the lifestyle, can it. What, their everyday life or just knowing too much? The, can you overlook the ugly or what you see or feel is ugly with any person to go, well, I can still fuck them. And should you? Not necessarily, because I guess it, it might depend on what. Because, You know, if they're super negative, yeah, I don't want it to drag me down. But if you caught a time that they were, you know, they weren't talking much and be like, let's go. Right. I could see that. But if it was something that I didn't agree with necessarily, I probably wouldn't. It's funny. I think as people that used to, you know, and still like to in those memory moments. Or fuck. I think that this played a bigger role when we first were in the lifestyle for potential of secondary meetups. Because I can think back, if you think back hard, if we had people that, you know, the first meetup, it was good, but we were notorious for, like... Learn your name later. Learn your name later, but we would sit in. And like talk in between rounds basically. And some people, it was great fun. And other people, as the night went on, it was like. And by the time we got in the car, it was like the sex was good. But yeah, been there, done that. And then the follow-up conversations tend to really just build on that positive or negative. And so I think it affected when we first started more when we were new between the first and any possible. follow-up play. Now, where the truth is, we don't play that much. Like, we just don't. I think now it has way more of an effect on whether or not a first time will happen. And part of it could be that my patience is not the same. Not just my patience. Where we're at in the lifestyle is so different now. Like, I'm not. I don't chase pussy. I mean, I do. If there's somebody that you really have an eye for, you'll go out of your comfort zone to get their attention. But I'm not thirsty, Chase. And now that I don't drink. Now that I don't drink, things hit me differently now that I don't drink. Yeah, I can see that. Because it's like. I could easily justify whatever I didn't like or whatever it's been said. I was like, eh, we're all drinking, it's fine. You know, another shot, I won't fucking care. Pussy, you know, in a way. And now that I don't have that, it's not by choice. I mean, I still could, but it has a different effect. And then the experience level of where we're at. I now have a totally different understanding from people that have been in the lifestyle for quite a while when we first got in and seemed like they were like, God, don't you even party? No, it's not that you don't party. It's just fucking different. You're not on a quest from God for sex after you've been in this for a while, so it seems, for most people. Well, I think initially when you join, you go all out and it's like, okay, we're going to do this. Let's do it. And then you have fun and then it's like you want to keep having that fun. But then as you become more experienced, those opportunities become less or you choose to have it become less because you're not chasing after the next person to have sex with. Well, plus you're known. Yeah. And it's not, okay, so it's not just, we're known because of what we do, right? So that's what's magnified with us. But you're just, everybody is more known. Like, you know, oh yeah, they've been, we've been seeing them for 10 years. I mean, they've been, you know, everybody's more known and when it's, you get a bunch of new people. And, and it's funny, there's a lot of new people. And we don't even, you know, how much we go out, it's just everything's different now. But even when there aren't new people, you don't, I'm conscious of not looking, wanting to look like I'm going after fresh meat. Yeah. And so we, so, and we changed it. Like, I think it would be a lot of fun to be able to go, and you couldn't, it couldn't just, it's not just a weekend party thing you could do it at, at least for us. I think it'd be fun to go if we went on a swinger's cruise, okay, where you had all week. So you had the first couple days to kind of just re-get your bearings about how to do this again and whatever, and where you could then just really just go and fucking just not care. I think that would be fun, but it would take a couple days for us to get to do their work, where you wouldn't worry about somebody who's going to judge because you're going out to the fresh meat and you're doing the, or they've already heard about you or, you know, or a conversation to start with, oh, I know all about you. There you go. Oh, good. You know, so you don't have that. But in turn, the shitty part of it is, and maybe this again, like I could see this being different in a bigger market. So we're in Omaha, Lincoln. So it's not a big market, not really. If you're in LA or Denver or like there's some parties in Denver, hopefully we'll get to this summer. Where they're so big that you can go to six parties in six weekends and not see the same people. But where you just, it's a, you know, to be able to go and not feel like you had that judgment of who you were or what you were, what you were, what are you doing? You know, you're trying to pick up the fresh meat. You're trying to do whatever. Just, you look at the new people now. to a degree, and you just go, just calm down a little bit. Yeah. I mean. But they're excited. I don't think that. I'm like, they're just excited. Oh, that's what I'm going to say. I think it would be fun to be able to go again and have a week where you got to re-go back to that. Like, I would love to go back to when I was a freshman in college, and my hair was long, and I was young, and we were fucking, and my friends and I, we were fucking. We weren't getting much grades done, but we were hitting the fucking sauce. And we were having a ball knowing what I know now, but looking like I'm being able to party like that. I'd only want to do it for about a week. Like any time more than that would kill me. It would be fun just for that little bit of time. But that's the same thing with this. I think it would be fun to go back and have that one week period or whatever of having that complete new not give a fuck attitude about the last I think it's challenging now. The other thing is how do you get out of your own head, which we'll get to that in a minute. But back to the ugly part. So, and maybe it's now just because I have been in it so long. Maybe it's now because I'm not drinking. Maybe it's a lot of things. There are things now that if I talk to people enough and I start to see, quote unquote, what is in my opinion ugly, I don't I don't know that I can overcome that. To get it up to fuck him. And I don't know that it's worth taking a shot in my dick to do it. Well, you know, I think when we first started off, I still had that radar. Maybe because I wasn't drinking as much as you. I don't know. Somebody had to make sure I got home. But I mean, there was certain red flags. Well, we had an appointment here and we had an appointment here and we had an appointment here. And on the way here, we had this appointment and this appointment. Wait a minute. You're calling them appointments Yeah Is she a prostitute or Little did you know Did you have a lineup You don't have appointments You have fun I don't know I don't get it If you're timing it That's really Not my cup of tea But to me that was like Red flag Red flag But we still bucked pretty free When we first started We weren't over the top But we still bucked pretty free Well okay But We did But it was not that easy as a couple to find couples that are interested the same. Right. So... And we were not here with Peggy. No, not really. I mean, there were some people that was like, oh, okay. But, I mean, you know, we'd have like a weekend where it'd be like a couple or two within the same weekend. three-week dry spell. I mean, it was hit or miss, but there was a lot of people that were like that. It's not easy. The man on the weekends that we had was fucking awesome. But sometimes it was just like, okay, we found a couple to hook up with for the weekend or the night, and then we wouldn't have anything. Maybe three weekends in a row of one person and then nothing for like two months. But that's just part of the lifestyle. Everybody's like, oh, no, you have to have sex with somebody different. I'm like, no, you don't. See, I think that's part now where I'm like, all of a sudden, and I was one that I've, for years, you listen to old podcasts. I talk to people who go, can you have too much sex? No, that's the idea of the lifestyle. I was like, fuck. And now I'm sitting there and it's like, my God, you're fucking all the time. Is that safe? And it's like, okay, old man, go chase the squirrels out of your fucking yard. But we're in a different scenario. You know, we, as we were just talking. We're not idiots and we can't bury our head in the fucking sand. No, it's not even that. On a professional level, we can't, you know, You know, when you have an event coming up, like, okay, so Wednesday I have to test for Exotica for the following week, so I'm not going to play from now until Exotica because I don't want to catch something and then next week be test positive for something and go, oh, fuck, and then that makes, it's not going to clear and test clean before the following week. So we have to plan it out strategically. We wouldn't anyway, so now. We wouldn't what? We wouldn't be as reckless. No. Now. And part of me, okay, part of me, and I get that, and it's good, but I think that's part of where my judging part comes from, because there was a time, when rehearsal started, if someone said shit, I was like, that's what a snotty bitch. I still would have wanted to fuck her. I just would have hate fucked her. If you're somebody that you just didn't like. Yeah. I mean, do you remember the chick that the husband was the cop? Was the Iowa cop? Yeah. And she was like, and they can't get it up there. I just don't fuck them here. And it's like, the one I got to smoke got her the one time at the bar that she was smart enough about how much I smoked. And she said she smoked a lot too. And so we both smoked like six cigarettes at one time. And I got her sick. Yeah, but then the husband's like, I've never had issues. Well, honey, you just aren't old enough. Just wait. The thing is, is that she was really hot when I first met her. Then she would run her fucking mouth and she was an ugly fucking cunt. I still would have fucking fucked her because I would have hate fucked her. I would have fucked her just so I could have railed her and been like, yeah, well, your husband never had problems. Yeah, well, now you're getting fucked her. I'm a real man. So he must be so great. You have to fuck somebody else. Bam. I mean, I would have seriously. I know me. I'd have got fucking trained. She was a huge drinker, too. I'd have got drunk off my ass, and I would have all but donkey-punched that fucking bitch when I was screwing her. Every time we were around her, the more we were around her, the more we didn't like her. Yeah, but I still would have fucked her just out of spite. But now I'm getting older, I'm like, you know, that's just no. And it's like, fuck! And that's the part of me that, that's the part that, that I, I, I hate, I want to, I want to hate like somebody. No, I don't want to hate, but I mean, I want to be, I, That's some of the shit that I miss. We would look at somebody now much differently. There was a time you would have said, use a condom weather. Maybe I wouldn't. Maybe I wouldn't. Scared the hell out of me. But the thing is, is there's times like we weren't, unless they were blatantly hammering about appointments, we're like, let's go. And now we're going to be like, Here's an example. Crazy Summer Nights probably, I don't know, three or four years. The first year we did the Girl Melee. Okay. There were a couple girls that specifically did not join in to the Melee because one of the girls that did join in to the Melee, they just watched her get railed by like six different guys. Remember that? Mm-hmm. And they're like, isn't that? Mm-hmm. Okay. And we are at that point now where we'd be like, No. Yeah. And the thing is, is like, that's probably more mature to a degree, but I hate being judging. I don't know if that's part of it, just having getting older or getting so far removed from it. I mean, there are times, and we've had this conversation before, it's like, are we still swingers? I mean, we are. We're just not as active as we used to be. We're a different kind now. Maybe we're more selective. No. No, I'm just fucking, I can't get laid like I used to. You're not selective? No, I just can't get laid like I used to. Oh, so you're not picky. I've got to find somebody who wants to fuck me first. Oh, there's a lot of people that want to fuck you. Anyways, so I think the- You just don't see it. I think it's different now because I honestly don't have the desire. This is so fucked up. I can't believe I'm going to say this. It's horrible. I don't know that I want to put the work in to wow another couple. Like, I would rather just make people laugh and make them love. Well, I'm still in person. I'll figure out. I'll start drinking again, damn it. You don't need to drink if you don't want to. But the thing is, I don't, like, I don't, I'm reaching this point. where I don't want to play that game anymore. Like, hey, let's, yeah, yeah. And maybe you give me the right environment. We could play that. I would be more willing to play that game. We're so out of practice with it. Seriously. And I think that that's some of the judgment of when I listen to people and I start to, you know, it's like you don't have to fucking, you know, fall in love with them to fuck them. It's just sex. You know, but I find that as I'm getting older, I vary away from that more and more and more. And I don't know, part of it is because, is it just really because, well, we're being more selective and all these other justifiable reasons? Or is it because, you know... It's hard finding a batshit crazy girl. No, actually it's not. But is it just, you know, or are you just, is it the path of least resistance? much work. Are you so out of practice? I don't know. I think there's some insecurities there. And those insecurities play a big mental mindfuck. When was the last time we hooked up with a couple? As a couple. Same room. It was somewhat attempted like three or four years ago. Somewhat attempted. When was the last time we successfully hooked up with another couple? Couple to couple. And I'll bet you it's been, I'll bet you we're going on six years, if not more. I don't remember the last couple. I don't remember the last time we had sex together. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's. Honestly, because once we hit that play separate, it kind of went with that. And I don't remember. What's the irony of that? that. Totally off topic now. Don't even care. The irony of that is you were talking about on our walk today because now we know that I do have, I've had a heart attack. Yeah. And so one time my doctor said, well, maybe it's all your dick problems because you're having heart issues, but Cindy never checked it. Apparently correct. That's why we went away from playing as a couple because I felt like you were having to spend more time worrying about what was or wasn't going on over there. And honestly, Most of the time, it was a pain in the ass. Playing couples anyways. Because one of the guys, one of us is always usually having problems somewhere along the line, it seemed like anyways and whatever else. So it's just, I don't even know, I wouldn't even know how to do that now. That's really, that's like, that to me, It's been so long. I think it seriously is going to have to be like caught up in the moment of everybody advancing and then. We have a better chance of having group sex again or being a part of group sex through the porn world for a shoot than we ever do. And with other porn people than we ever do with swimmers. I truly believe that. I don't, I don't see, like, I just don't, I don't know. I don't know if I agree with that. I don't know. To me, some of the, I don't know. I don't know. I don't agree with it. There's part of me that says looking, because I've been thinking about this a lot. Part of me, you know, because I was talking to a couple different people and their house parties and all this stuff going on. I've seen a bunch, I had a bunch of questions about house parties the past couple weeks too. And as part of me thinks there's a, we're ironic. and that I think, to a degree, our swinger education and our swinger growth was somewhat stunted. Here's a better analogy of how I can put this together that makes more sense. So it's kind of like the genius, a kid that's a genius, right? Sheldon Cooper, Big Bang Theory. You graduate from high school at fucking six, you know, you're graduating college or do you house or whatever? I don't know. How many of someone's not fucking dating me? Anyways, you're, you're, you know, you're graduating college at 16, right? You have all the smarts in the world, but what do they miss? What's their challenge? What's the biggest challenge when you have a kid like that? Their social skills, right? Because, you know, they're on the intellectual level of a college student, but they're on the social skill level of a fifth grader. By the fact that we've only been to two house parties. Three house parties. Three that I can recall. Okay, we've only been to three house parties. Well, four. Four? The one that talked tongues. No. You don't count that as a house party even though it's like three couples? No, because that was three couples or that was more couples at the bar. Then we all decided to pile up somebody's house. It could have been a hotel room. That was not a house party. Okay. So the birthday party and then the same people had the same people over again for another house party. We went to the one hotel that had a whole buttload of people. That was not a house party. That was a hotel takeover. Not that one. The one that was at the Suburban Inn that we hooked up with the boat people. Was that the very first one? It was like your birthday or somebody's birthday, and we went from the bar over. Which is funny, though. We weren't actually invited to that. We weren't invited, but we ended up participating. Right. So three. Three. In 14 years. And we always talk about it on the show. We talk about it all the time about, like, you know, you don't just jump into shit. Well, have we turned some down? Yes. A couple. A couple. But not very many. But the part I'm getting to is we literally had went to, before we started throwing events, big events, two. Three. Three hotel takeovers. We'd only been to three hotel takeovers. takeovers before we threw our first one ourselves we had only been to three house parties so literally we went we we didn't even hadn't really didn't even know all the ins and outs of having to fucking being at a big event for one and they weren't anything the hotel takeovers we weren't to weren't anything like what we were throwing out no we went to at least three halloween parties and If not four. Not before we started throwing our own. Yeah. The last one we went to was after we were already throwing our own. Okay. Right. I wasn't counting that one because that one dawned on me afterwards. Right. So I wasn't counting that one. The very first time we went. We went to like three in Des Moines. Oh, Des Moines. Okay. Fine. Yeah. The ones in Omaha, we went to one or two that were at that hotel that's not there. The lead one. Two. Yeah, Two Valentine. Okay. All right, so take that part out. Never mind. No, so we went to a little bit more. The thing is, I forget about that because those parties were like, to me, those aren't even hotel takeovers. That wasn't even a hotel takeover, the ones in Des Moines. That was two floors out of, that wasn't even a whole hotel, but close enough. We'll call it that. By the time the last one we went there, it was like all of us. Okay, actually, so I'm wrong because we have the first birthday hotel or house party. Same people through the next one. We'll go with my birthday one, but that's kind of iffy, and a New Year's Eve. Oh, that's right. We did do a New Year's Eve. But still, think about this. Four house parties out of 14 years. Yeah, but house parties aren't for everybody, though. How the fuck would we know? I don't know. The thing is, it's not so much, we don't even know if they are or not. If you think about it, the first house party we went to, We knew over half the people there. And everybody there was new at that time. I mean, for the most part, everybody was new. We'd only known, like, two couples. And then the rest we met there. Because we were going around the table saying what everybody did. Yeah, but that was the only... That, honestly, was really the only true house party where, like, when people talk about going to the house party, well, we know half the people. to people there. We don't know other people. And that was literally the only house party. The one on New Year's Eve, we knew everybody. We'd been partying with them for years. Right? I'm not counting the bone fires as house parties because that's fucking 200 people. It's not a fucking house party. The thing is, is that we missed out on a part of the learning, a part of the social learning skills. I think to a degree. It was great for us because we are fucking – because we are smart fuck. We like smart fuck. But I don't think we've ever given our opinions on house parties. We haven't given, but we didn't go. And I think that there's something to be said for learning that. And I understand. I don't think you can go back in time and relearn it now. But I just think that it – Things have changed. It has. Honestly, now, a house party, going to a house party right now, would stress me the fuck out. It would absolutely, unequivocally stress me the fuck out. Oh, we went to a couple in Omaha. Remember the first couple that we dated, that we didn't date, that we hooked up with where he was much older than she was? That wasn't a house party, that was them and us. No. That was long after we'd already been throwing our own parties. Was it? Oh, fuck yeah. Because there were people there that were trying to talk to me instead of fucking me trying to fuck them to talk to me about getting into our next fucking event. Yes. Okay. Absolutely. It's the part. She's got all lost in account. But the whole part of the idea was is that I feel like we skipped steps. We skipped steps. Are there? Okay. Okay, but if everybody's journey is different and it is what you want of it, how is that skipping steps? Because that really truly wasn't our thing to go to house parties. No, we don't. No. We weren't invited to go to the fucking house parties. They didn't like us. What it was, it didn't. Here's why I think it's a mislearning curve. What it would have taught me, in that situation, my over-the-top personality, I like to believe, wouldn't have come to mind. That's probably not true. Well, I don't know. One of them, you've been cornered into rooms and women going off on you, and you're just like, shut the fuck up. I wasn't interested in you in the first place. Yeah. Yes. If you remember that one. Oh, God, yes. It's like, oh, my God, she won't leave me alone. Yeah, but that was—we—it's just—it's funny now. 14 years in, we're getting ready to have, this is going to be our 11th crazy summer nights coming up. It's going to be our, this next year we are, second Halloween party that we put on. Granted, it's different because it's not a big hotel takeover thing. Right. We're coming to our 10th fucking crazy winter nights. That's, that's blown up beyond all realms of fucking belief. We, go and the national exposure, blah. And a house, the concept of a house party stresses me out to no end. Think about that concept. Why is it, what stresses you out about it? That it's small? If right now you walked up to me and we were out, that'd be weird. If we were out and you're like, hey, I know you're talking with, with, you know, Bob's wife. Hey, you know what? Let's all go fuck. I'd be like, what? It would totally fucking freak me out. One, I'm not as before where I was just like fucking, you know, you and the guy would be like calmly talking and being the wife would be over there just fucking, fucking Molly. That would be more how it acted, yeah. But seriously, it would, it, I don't know. I don't know. And it's something I think more and more about because with everything that's went on, live your best life, right? That's what this is all about. Live your best life, live your best life. And figuring out how to maximize that. Like, as crazy as Summer Nights is coming up, and it's coming up quick, not really, it's August, but it'll be here quicker than we think, because I'm not, my kid's not done for it. But I want to, you know, for me, it's, I'm thinking of things of how to make the most out of crazy Summer Nights that doesn't include me just working. Like, I don't want to do that. That's thanks to all the scare shit, right? I don't want to do that. So then when I hear things that just, like, cause it to go to my forefront, you know, now it seems it sounds ugly to me. It's like, okay, fuck, how do you go back? You can't. But how do you make that work? It's so funny because I go, well, the answer is we need to like this group that I'm talking to in Denver. When you go to a party out in Denver. The funny thing is, I know us. I know us to a T. I know exactly what we'll do. We are absolutely, no one believes this. No one will fucking believe this that knows here. I will be super quiet. And just like. It's like in Kentucky. We'll be huge wallflowers. It wasn't, it's not necessarily wallflowers. We pretty much watch people and do our own thing and abuse ourselves and dance and have fun. And then it's like, well, I didn't talk to anybody. Nobody, nobody. Yeah, because honestly, we're so far removed from doing it. And so I think part of this whole thing with, you know, as you learn more about people being ugly, it's like, okay, so how do you get over it? How do you make sure you're not doing the same thing to somebody else? How do you make sure that you're not, you know, saying too much and make somebody else go, well, they were cool, but what the fuck? You know? Do you think maybe you're overthinking it? Probably. Look, the concept of, honest to God, the concept of sobriety in there is scary as hell for me. The concept of my choice of, you know, Not, you know, just butting loose. And honestly, now, it's been long enough. And think about it. Smoking was an escape. Smoking was an escape, you know. And plus, it was a great place to tell a story. I'm like a Ron White. Like, it's all props. It's all part of it. The cigarette's part of it. It's part of the whole thing. And so, you know, and it's been long enough now since I got drunk. When you think about it, it's been a year and a half, at least, if not longer, since I got fucked up. So now I don't even know what, where that edge is. I knew. I was really good at drinking. And so I knew exactly where. It's like, and, oh, look, it was like the Yodler game on Price is Right. Yodler, Yodler, dude, he's going up the mountain. And I knew right the fuck where he had to stop. And I knew if I'm taking shots, I'm going to go, And over the top we go. It's been a year and a half. I don't even know where that's at. So people go, well, just have a drink to... I don't know where that's at now. I don't know where that's at. And I don't... And so I so desperately... You know, we get invited to national parties all the time. I get invites. I get people, hey, personal invites. Hey, we're having this come out. And now I'm more conscious of what I say because of how I perceive other people. with the things they say. When I was more wild and crazy, I just said, what the fuck I said, and fuck you, you're going to like it. And usually, I could tell, I knew how to tell somebody to go fuck themselves saying the words go fuck themselves, and they would tell you thank you. That's what I did for a living in car sales. Yeah, no. Don't know where those lines are anymore, and so now I'm just like, it's like, I'm like a cat. And I want to get laid again because I'm going to get skinny. My dick's going to work again. I want to get laid again. You can still get laid. Well, right. But you get all pissy when I run the credit card. You know those girls and how much I'm paying. They're like, no. I can't put a condom on to save my life. You have your handful of girls that you can go, hey. Yeah, but I want to branch out again. I have a handful. That's exactly what I got. My hand. Yeah, you know I can never get a hooker. I can never get a brothel. I can't put a fucking condom on to save my life now. Let alone if I paid money for it. Do you know how many condoms I put on to somebody at the brothel? Well, if I paid that kind of money, they're putting it fucking on. I'm getting every second worth, starting with that. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. It's just, it's interesting thing because I think for me now, a lot of stuff just, this whole topic is a lot because it's, it's, uh, You know, how does that, like, I'm looking at things differently through more of a mirror and more of a, okay, so what kind of vibes are you giving off? What, you know, I can, if you take us out of Casual land, right, and you get us somewhere where nobody knows us, which is kind of hard to do, actually, but if you, but it's not too hard, you could find something. You can get us out where they know of us, but they don't know us. Right? And then you look at me. Okay. So when I'm a big guy, right, getting smaller, not there, with the fucking, you know, not kind of long hair, super long hair, not, I don't have a beard. I've got, I don't have a ZZ top beard, but I got a pretty good beard. I don't look like what I say can come across. How that's perceived. You know, you put me in a world of beautiful people, like on the West Coast. Okay. You're not going to quite fit in. We had that when we went on the East Coast. Shit that I would normally say that people would go, whatever. They didn't know how to take me. And it's just like, at least when I was drinking, I was like, well, fucking, I don't care. Lug. But now it causes me to sit and go, well, how would you do in one of those settings? And I know my actual go-to that nobody around here believes is that I'm really quiet. Like you do more of the talking. It's actually really funny to watch us at a place where we don't know anybody because it's a general rule. You end up becoming way more outgoing than I am until I find somebody. I don't know about that. Oh, yes. until we find somebody to start talking to me. I just look at people. No, you're more like, hi. You do small talk really, really well. And so you tend to do small talk and I'm like, just, you know, having to fucking eat some of the hors d'oeuvres. It's really funny because it's a total role reversal where it's like, and where was used to be like, you know, life's very odd. And now I'm even more conscious. Like, okay, you don't want to say something that sounds like an idiot. And especially, you know, and say a joke or something. That's like people just think you're like, you know. And the thing is, is you get in some of those settings, I'm like, I understand. They'll tolerate me because they'll fuck you. But that doesn't have the, you know, in the land of the beautiful people, that doesn't have the, the roles aren't quite a revolutionary yet. I got a better chance dressed as Santa Claus. Santa Claus, everybody loves Santa Claus. It is sad. Santa Claus gets a lot of attention. It's sad to try to get fucking pussy. My best shot is to dress as Santa Claus and go to a party. That's legitimately my best shot to get laid. Now, let it be known, at Exotica, you got hit on by guys a lot. I didn't. Yep. A lot. All of the training girls love Santa. If you want my ex, it's all the training girls follow Santa. They all follow Santa. Yeah. And a lot of guys, all of them. Yeah. Santa's pretty popular because Santa's a bear. So. There you go. Santa's a bear. But yeah. A polar bear. A polar bear. Yeah. Fucking grizzly-ass polar bear. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, this show went completely off the rails. It didn't go off the rails. No, we were just, yeah. It's unique. This is, again, a learning curve. This is only like the second. This is probably only the second show in years that we've done not in front of the audience. I don't remember if we went live when it first started. There was a couple of them where we didn't record and sound guy came up with like a best of or something. Yeah, but I mean where we're actually doing this without an audience. Yeah, it's because we don't. I'm used to Larry jumping in something or somebody throwing something in there. Well, but it's Saturday night. People are out. Yeah, so we didn't put it out there. We're like, no, we're going to surprise. Like, nah, we'll just do this one by ourselves. Because it'll be awesome. Because we've done a handful of them. I would hope so. Just saying. Yeah. We're catching. We're catching. There's one show on the station that has more shows than us. Really? This is like their 10th year. So they're like 60 shows. They were like 60 or 70 shows ahead of us. But now they're like, they're getting down to hitting that like about once a month and shit like that. So we got to, we're closing the gap on them now. You know, there's only, there's only so many things you can think of to talk about. or been asked about to talk about. 400 would probably be the end. I'm kidding, class. It would probably be 400. I mean, you know, then shit comes up and you're like, well, you know, how about we wait? Last Tuesday, or no, two Tuesdays ago, we didn't do it because, well, you were having stress tests and shit the next day. And we're like, okay, you know what? I don't feel like doing it. Okay, well, I don't blame you. All right, all right. We'll catch those fuckers. We get them. Maybe that should be the goal. Maybe the goal should be 500. So how many, if we do 52 weeks, that'd be, we're 361 now. So that'd be. It'd be a couple years. It'd be a year and a half. Maybe that's our goal. Our 500, you know what? Let's call the shot right here. Our 500th show will be our last show. Crazy Truth About Swing will end at show number 500. You think? I think so. Yeah, but you said a few years ago that we were going to stop doing it. No, but here's the thing. You get to 500 shows. That means we've hit like, Well, you're probably hitting season 11. You're probably in season 11. That's probably 11. Shit on the radio station, you can probably start running one again. Oh, yeah, yeah. I can't. I mean, but that's probably what it'll be, is we can probably... I'm calling it. We're calling it right now. Episode 361, we'll call it the shot. Show number 500 is on Crazy Winter Night School off the air. Okay. Somebody pays us like a million bucks to keep it on. Money to keep going? Or 10,000. Well, they can just pay money to keep it on. Okay, I'd like more than a dollar. All right. All right, well, there we go. I don't know how we got there from there. Whatever. Neat. Neat. Yeah. Titties. All right, well, thank you again for listening. Appreciate it. Again, shout out to our sponsors. I forgot what we fucking even do. 361 times. I can't remember yet. You're getting old. ASN Lifestyle. Get out of my yard! Fucking squirrels. 300, no, ASN Lifestyle Magazine.com. check out, make it happen each time every month to read ASN Magazine. Don't forget MotorBunny.com, a name you can trust, a product that will last, and you'll be glad you did. And STD Hero, no more excuses for making the lifestyle safer with every STD, STI test, STD Hero. With that being said, doing it the only way I know how, the only way I want to, and the only way I ever fucking will. Kazma Style, out. Bye.