Krazy Truth about Swinging #363 Invest in yourself

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey, you crazy motherfuckers. Welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth About Swinging. I'm the host of The Most Cool, and I'm here with the lovely, lovely, and soon to yawn, Miss Amanda. Hey. We're here to tantalate and otherwise entertain ourselves if nobody else. If you happen to listen to, rock on. For those of you following along at home, this is season 9, episode 363. Look at us fucking go. You fighting a yawn there? No. I'm going to yawn. That's really funny. 363. Thanks, Jessica, for jumping around there. Yes, your kid is two years younger than you are. Thank you very much. Caswell logo on that one. So, uh, no, yeah. So Tally, Tally, uh, doing stuff. You started to say, Hey, yeah. Okay. We're two sponsors. Absolutely. Wow. Gonna be one of them shows. Uh, so, uh, you know, sponsors, we got them. ASN lifestyle magazine. If you wanted a.com, if you want to know what's going on in the adult world, as well as the lifestyle, make it a habit each and every month to read ASN lifestyle. magazine and Amanda, Best Studio Pro-Am Studio. That'd be Kazza Studios. We made it for that as well. What am I missing in there? Hotel Takeover. Hotel. Social Media Group. We're up for five. Kevin and Shin Trade Show. Plus Savory Sunflower is up for Best Guilf. And don't forget our friends at STD Hero for Best Sporting Business. And Miss Amanda's PR guy, Brian Ghost, BSGPR for Best our company there. Awesome. So vote for us. We can vote once. Now between now and July. So get her done. Also, MotorBunny, that's right. A name you can trust. A product you know is quality. So when you stick it inside of you, you don't have to worry about something weird happening. MotorBunny.com. Check it out. You can visit and get your MotorBunny on Bullswap shop as well as any of our other logos around the area. Absolutely. Check that out. And we say it all the time and we're very, very serious about it. STDHero. Knowing your results is sexy. It does give you confidence. And STDHero is the name that you can trust at-home testing that is powered by the CLIA certified laboratory. It's quick turnaround time. It's discreet. It doesn't matter if you're straight, poly, bi, swinger, whatever, or even the professional. They have the ultimate kit, which is past certified as well. So regardless, for $69, you get a kit that tests for 90% of STDs. There's no reason not to be safe anymore. And obviously, if you need other services afterwards, they do have that option. They can give that to you as well. And generally, good people, they legitimately care about what they do. So check it out, STD Hero. There is no more excuses to get tested. You can find STD Hero on all of our platforms. They are the official testing company of Casbah. So you can find them on our studio. It's what we use for our porn stuff. Also on FullSwapShop, as well as CrazyCasbah.com. So there is no excuses to check them out today. But look at you not yawning. You're doing a really good job. I'm really proud of you. I'm going to make sure I don't. I know. I keep focused the whole thing on. So yeah, so we are kind of finally back somewhat in the swing of things-ish. We're a day late, but we're a little bit in the swing of things from Exotica. So that's good. We need to get back in there. My gosh, I think I slept like four days straight. Yeah, absolutely. And we were tired. We were worn out. Tuckered out. Well, not four days straight. No. I had to get up and function a little bit. We were worn out. Yes. And so now we're in the throes of, obviously, it froze up again. Wow, that's neat. Well, it's just for us, I think, the screen froze up. Freeze frame. So you gotta watch your guys try to read comments from up there, then I guess. No, because they still show up here. Oh, okay. So, yeah, but we have come right back and we are jumping right into things. We're in the middle of, we're only like four months out from crazy summer nights, so that's really starting to ramp up. We're only a couple months before the next Exotica. That's really ramping up. Is it four months, or I feel like it's two? For Exotica, Exotica was only two months. But we got to August for Crazy Summer Nights. And we are absolutely in the throes of Crazy Summer Nights, or Winter Nights also. The number of seminar interviews that we have done, Jessica and I have done a ton, figuring out to get the very, very best presenters. It is daunting, to say the least. And vendors and sponsors and blah. But you're learning a lot. I am learning. I am learning a lot. I'm learning a ton. And let me tell you, there are some quality people. And we're bringing in some fucking hitters, man, from all over the fucking country. So, like, this is going to be a big deal, so to put it mildly. But you've got cool shit going on in your world also. And people go, oh, the swingers don't want to hear about porn. Well, fuck yeah, you do, because it's part of it. So, it is what it is. You've got some very cool shit going on in your world right now. Mm-hmm. Right? So, you got, we, after, A Lot of Fucking Work and a Lot of Fucking Time. We finally, Naughty America brought you on. Wanted you to shoot with them. You did the audition, did the first scene. You had to get so many stars. That's the way the process works. Got the audition and got the stars literally in like three days. So you will be there scheduling. You'll be shooting the next couple months your first pro scene, which is a totally deal. So it's a different pro-am and content creation. That's, for swingers, a way to equate it, when you do content creation and somebody brings out a camera and starts from when you fuck, there's a lot of what that is. Pro is like, they have a makeup gal and hair gal and guy or gal, and they've got fucking booms and cameras, and it's like a multi-day thing. Outfits and all that shit. It's a totally different thing, and it's a very, very big deal. And what's funny is, as, like I said, that was a year ago. year in the making to get to that point. And then in the process, then you've had since then, because the other, when it rains, it pours. So then we've had scores and some other of the big companies have now reached out and are talking to you about, about shooting. So. Keeping fingers crossed on that. Keep fingers crossed on that. Finger positive vibes all the way through. So it's very, very exciting. And then there might be, but I'm not allowed to say anything yet about the fall. Oh yeah. The one from, From Exotica? Mm-hmm. You're not allowed to say anything yet? No. Okay. So, it'll be a surprise in the fall. It'll be very, very cool. So, but that's exciting, and that's unique, and this all kind of ties into a little bit of what I want to talk about tonight. Because, so, besides all that shit going on professionally, right, we talked about leading up to Exotica, all the shit we found out, like, with my heart and all that fucking shit. I don't think you've shared a lot of that. Okay. So the bottom short version was this. Had some tests. Found out. Looked like there was some blockage. Had some more tests. Come to find out I've had a heart attack. We know exactly what it was. I thought it was just a nervous breakdown and a panic attack. I was wrong. I really was almost dying a couple years ago. Had a heart attack at Crazy Wonder Nights. And so obviously now like there's things. If you remember the episode after KWN where he talked about that he thought he was dying, that no one cared. Yelling from the balcony, no one care. He walked by people, doesn't remember it. It's all blurry and shit. Yeah. I really was having a heart attack. He really was having a heart attack. Neat. And he came back out and danced. So since then, we've heard nothing but, yeah, I can have a heart attack and still go out and function. Because Larry, Larry has quoted, my good friend Larry has quoted the thing with this, you're the only person I know that would turn into a heart attack and go, not right now, I'm busy. So that's true. But what it has caused then, in turn, and this all ties in again, obviously there's things that, you know, they have me doing. So to like working on like me, right, health-wise. And you're like, okay, great. So all this ties into kind of what I want to talk about today. Which, you know, there are some parts of swinging that really just are equal in life itself. Just in life. And tonight, I want to talk about investing in yourself. Okay. Okay. Because it is so key to everything you do in your life, believe it or not, but also to the swinging world. And there's different types of investing when I talk about investing in yourself. Okay. I want to talk about it because I think that, like, we go into the a lot of us have not been dating or out of that world for so long. We don't really necessarily know what we're doing, right? Okay. And in turn, so you're just kind of trying to figure out what the fuck is going on and get some sort of solid footing. Mm-hmm. And that's the primary focus. Like, you don't have a lot of time to focus on other parts of it. That's why there's all these things that you learn along the way. You know, you learn about, you know, when people start talking about all the rules and do's and don'ts. Because initially, you're just trying to figure it the fuck out. You're trying to figure out how this works for you individually. You're trying to figure out how this works for you as a couple. If you're a couple, you're trying to figure out how this works in your life. But what happens when you finally get the solid footing? That's where things, that's where I think the rollercoaster of the lifestyle can start to head on the downward, the downward swoop, right? Okay. Because when you first start, it's like, it's all building. It's all this excitement. It's just like, and, and like a lot of rides going to the top is fun being at the bottom. Sometimes it's not. And people go through this, you know, you see that we saw it in sales, like in the car business. They talked all the time about, you know, the, the third, the third month curse, right? Where people got too smart. They started to know too much and they tried to reinvent shit and then they couldn't sell shit. They'd come out of the age just hammering and they can't sell shit. And the lifestyle tends to be that way. Sometimes it's not months. Sometimes it's years. Sometimes it's a number of events. It kind of just depends on the people. But there's a lull there. And what I think happens, because I've been thinking about it a lot, is do we invest in ourselves once we get comfortable, or do we, just that, get comfortable? Like, getting comfortable is a great thing, and it's the most dangerous thing in the world, in every part of your life. Because comfort, so many times, can equate to complacency. Right? You're looking at me like, I don't know, this is making sense so far. Well, yeah, I'm just listening. Okay, so, So the thing is, is that complacency in your job, like you'll see your job performance go down, right? Which has its own level of consequences, whatever. Complacency in a marriage, you see things shift and challenges arise that, you know, that didn't necessarily happen. Because the lifestyle is a hobby, or supposed to be a secondary thing, I think that the complacency has a different effect and can have more of a mental effect. Okay. The truth is you're on the side of all of a sudden you can fuck other people, which it's really not about fucking other people so much as it is about other people wanting to fuck you. I mean, yes, there's the physical part, but it's the mental, there's The mental part of lifestyle that nobody likes to talk about, that's not fun on podcasts, but it's true, is that there's a part of the joy of the lifestyle. It's the mental of people wanting you. People, you know, if you're an older guy to know that somebody, you can still pick somebody else up. You can, you know, you said it when we first started, you can find somebody who will fuck me, you know, and you hear that all the time. And so there's this high physically and mentally when you get there. But once you start to get comfortable and you start to get complacent, then you start how you approach activities, events, what you do in the lifestyle starts to change. The sense of urgency starts to change. The sense of or the degree of energy starts to change. The degree of entitlement starts to change. When you're new, you don't assume shit. Because you're new. You have no fucking earth idea. That took half of us into fucking people we never would fuck. It's like, oh my god, if we don't fuck them, they'll say no, no one will ever fuck us again. And we panic, right? You start to get complacent and we know it all. Except the challenge is that complacency comes into us. It mentally starts to fuck us. with us. And it drains us. And with that complacency and within the lack of success comes the lack of confidence, becomes the lack of courage, of drive, of all those things. I've lived it. Over the last three months, or the last three, two years, I've lived it. We're dealing with it now with the CASMA organization. I mean, whole organizations can go through a realm of complacency. And it's a fucking death toll. It's a death toll. If you had to compare how many people are in the lifestyle three months and go, we need to take a break, we need to get out and take a break and step back for a second versus how many people are in a year and three months or three years and say, we have to take a step back. It's amazing because if you think about it logically, everybody's going to say, no, it's not true, but think about it logically for a second. You should need to step back and take that breather in the first three months where shit's just fucking hitting you like a sledgehammer. Like it's just coming at you. That's when it should be super overwhelming. Right? Yeah. That's when it should be overwhelming. But that's not when most people go, wait a minute. I need to take a step back. We had a statement. No. No. It's down the road when the complacency set in. When all of a sudden the success isn't happening as much. It's called a reset. It's a reset. Like a computer reset. And you're partially doing it because you've become complacent. I can get that. Is it possible to avoid that? To avoid the complacency? And the answer I truly believe is yes. You have to take and invest in yourself. What do I mean by invest in yourself? Okay. You have to invest in yourself in finding new and creative ways to be in the lifestyle. Maybe not going to the same event, the same activity over and over again. Maybe changing up and getting yourself out of the comfort zone and talking to somebody you don't know. Like putting yourself a little bit awkward and actually talking to somebody you don't know again. Going somewhere where you're not known, where you have no choice, but to talk to somebody you don't know. Maybe it's about spending some time on your physical health or your mental health, right? Maybe it's spending some time researching a topic or reading an extra book to give you something new to talk about with the people that maybe traveling somewhere is an option, but you can read a different book, watch a different show, hear what other people watch, and invest in learning something more about what's going on in the world. It could also be reconnecting with your significant other. Yes. A rebirth of spending the time with each other to re-find the excitement. Because I think sometimes some people feel like one spouse or both or something are too infatuated with finding something that they feel neglected, so to speak. I mean, that's probably not quite the term I'm looking for, but it gives them a chance to focus on each other again before putting other people in front of them. Absolutely. If you think back to... Again, nothing's everybody, but most people, when you first get in the lifestyle, the excitement of talking with your spouse after a hookup or meetup, the week or two week or however long it went of that fucking hot talking about it, whatever. Bringing up those feelings all over again. Right. And then if you fast forward, and I think we can say this is, we'll cover this in no shock to anyone. We've been swingers for 14 fucking years. There are signs like, yeah, we hooked up. Even where we now primarily play alone. Oh, yeah. Hey, you know what? I, you know, I fucked Erica work. Okay. Yeah, whatever. Okay. Oh, hey, hey, you know, so-and-so came over and I fucked her work. Oh, yeah, I listened to her a few minutes. Okay. Right? And that's all the conversation. And it's like, you know, oh, so-and-so is coming over today. Okay. But that's all the conversation. We used to break it down step by step of what happened, what I did, what I felt going into it. And that kind of, I don't know, maybe after a while you just don't need that anymore. I mean, I'd cheer you on and go, rock on. Was it fun? Did you get off? Right. But that's kind of it. It came on her face, it got in her eye. It was infected for three days. She said, I need more water. The thing is, is that I think that's the key is investing in yourself in that. When we first started to do it, like so many people, we needed it. We needed that breakdown. We needed that, like you needed that release. One of the excitement of going, oh my God, what did we just do? You needed it. And then you also needed it mentally and all the rest of the other parts of it. And even though we don't need it now, you kind of do because it does become It becomes mundane. It becomes not that big a deal. And it is still a big deal. It's just a different type of big deal, which means how do you get there again? You have to find the work. This is a concept that should be so simple, because obviously, as everybody who's ever listened to any of our shows for years know, we absolutely unequivocally do not believe in date night. Never have. Don't believe in date night. Fucking thing is the dumbest thing in the world. Whatever works for you, rock on. Don't believe in date night. But a huge percentage of the world does date night. Well, if you're a lifestyle and you do date night, skip date night and go back to new swinger night. And take and talk about and because date night is a concept to recreate or keep those feelings, rest, charge, whatever the case may be. Do the same thing with the last experience you had. Like, there's just a challenge there. As partners, hey, what movie? I overheard so-and-so, they were talking about this movie. Totally not the type of movie I want. Let's go watch that movie. Just to have something new to talk about. Like, that's an investment in yourself to improve what you're experiencing with the next mixer, meet and greet, whatever the case may be, because you're going to be able to go, you know what? We never went to this type of movie. We never liked this genre or whatever, but we went to it. We heard a bunch of you guys talking about it, so we went and checked it out. That's an investment in yourself. It's kind of like taking, it's at your job, and if you work in the shop and, hey, you know, you don't weld, and you don't really necessarily do a lot with welding, but it's kind of interesting. There's a free welding class, so you can go take it just, what the hell, to improve yourself. But we don't do that. We don't invest that in ourselves. in the lifestyle. And then it comes into investing ourselves in. When you know everybody, you're going to go somewhere. It becomes very easy to go to an event in a totally different mental mindset and physical appearance. When you're brand fucking new and you're excited and you're whatever, you don't know people and you're nervous, you want to be good. How do you dress? How do you, how do you, what's the appearance that you put on to go to that event? It's not, you know, we joke, call me my homeless look, right? That's not the appearance that would happen, right? That's not, because you're new, you don't want to walk in and look like a fucking, you know, right? Homeless guy. But you get 14 years in, and it's like, yeah, well, you know, you know, whatever, we're going to see, just, yeah, there's something right now, I'll go, it's cool. Well, that's not investing, that's not in, it's not to put anybody else down or to do, it's to invest in yourself to have that same level of importance to this event and not just give in to the complacency. There was a time, now obviously we were doing it because I was building the whole, when CASMA started, I did not go anywhere without my Halloween costume on. Halloween costume, shades, black coat, white t-shirt, jeans. And it didn't vary. It didn't even vary. It wasn't until later that I varied to want a black t-shirt. And granted, things progressed and changed, but I didn't go anywhere. That was it. End of story. It's not that you're not allowed to change and evolve. It's about putting the same amount of effort into how you look and not giving in to, well, I know everybody's so-it-so. Okay. If it's a picnic, fine. But think about it. I am key on frickin' lazy when it comes to outfits. A, I don't have any, well. Tits got too big. Now we don't have nothing to wear. Sorry. I've got regular t-shirt and jeans. I have brothel. I have porn. Well, I'm not wearing necessarily. There's some brothel outfits I could get away. with whether I'm comfortable out in public and it's a different story. Porn definitely not because you're naked or damn near. So it's like, you know, I'd almost have to like go buy an outfit just to go out. But there was a time and this is not because I remember one time when you were tired of dinner and you were like, you thought it through and you wore camo pants. No, I just was in that for the day. I was in camo pants. But a tank top. And I said, I'm just, well, no, it was winter. So I was in a long sleeve t-shirt. So I'm just going to fucking go like this. I don't care. And you're like, because I was in the mood to go out. Yeah. And I got so many freaking compliments. It wasn't funny. So, and it's not just one sided because there was a time I would never go out with money. I was looking like shit. Yeah. No, you don't care. And a lot of times I was like, oh, fuck, money. I was going to go, whatever. So we've gotten too complacent. We've gotten, we've gotten complacent. I can remember the last, I don't remember the last time I did it. I love, when you do makeup with your eyes. Do that really fucking cool thing. But it's not that it's... They've gotten wrinklier and saggier. So there's really... I have hooded eye... More Botox for you. No, that doesn't even help that. That's plastic surgery. Oh, goody. So I can't make my cat eyes like I used to. It like has a wrinkle in the middle of it. The bigger part of it is, here's what I challenge to people, is like, how much time did you spend to get ready when you first got in the lifestyle? How many times did, and we were all the change outfits, this is good, no, yes, no, yes, no. And so the challenge becomes, invest that much energy again, just one night, just fucking try it. Do I remember when we were kids? Mm-hmm. And we used to watch our parents get ready to go out every weekend to go dancing. Yeah. My family did it. I know yours did it. And I would sit there and watch my mom in awe. She did her makeup and put on a fancy dress and heels. And she never wore that shit. Yeah. Makeup, yes. But the rest of it, no. So it was just like, we don't have those nights. We don't have them. And when we... Everything becomes... We need to go dancing. We do. We need to go dancing. It's... But that becomes the thing. It's what... What are you doing in your life to make the swinging world better? It's really funny. If you... If your hobby is golf and there's a new fucking type of golf ball comes out that's supposed to fly better, people will run out and buy a motherfucker. Seriously? Club that will... Sure, whatever. I don't know. Clubs that fucking make it hit... No, they would, though. I mean, hardcore golfers would do shit. This is a hardcore hobby, and yet... It's so... And we're all guilty of it. We're all guilty of it. And so, circling back, the reason this has come back, too, is because we are... Our world now, because of the things we're doing, has started to dictate we have a choice and we either invest in ourselves or it will hurt your career if you don't invest in yourself. It will hurt my health if I don't invest in myself. Right? And when you stop and think about it though, but that's all of us. It's like if we don't actually invest in ourselves, if we don't try and work to Get better and to, you know, I mean, I don't know. It's shitty to watch, to see in myself how much I have become complacent. Because I don't like complacency. Like, I have a fundamental problem with that. And so it's out of the forefront of my brain, right? Like, I understand, okay, and understand there's a difference between investing in yourself and not understanding where you are in life, right? Like, so when you talk about CASBA overall as a whole, okay, you have to know what you are. If I was to start CASBA, if we were to start CASBA right now, Now, started old. Couldn't do it the same way. Because we are an old person. Right? Well, I just had this conversation the other day with Jessica, who is obviously two years, you know, older than our oldest son. So mid-30s. Right. Right? Two 20-somethings. She's a little bit older. Well, what the fuck are we? The elderly group. That's the truth. So the thing is, you have to put the effort in because you have to learn how to reinvent yourself. Because here's the reality. The way that I interacted with people when I was 40, when we first started this, and I was interacting with other 40-year-olds, and in the 30s, you know, 30s through 40s and 50s. That's why we're 40s. Yeah, it was different. I tried to interact that same way now with the 20s. 20-year-old couple. A 25, you know, she's 25, he's 27-year-old couple. They're going to look at me like, okay, who let grandpa out of the fucking home? So I have to invest in myself to learn a little more of the fucking what's going on around me. Because here's the deal. The lifestyle, all of you that are our age, 50s plus, you need to understand some of this. is really important. You have one of two choices. You can either understand that you need to learn to adapt to the new lifestyle, which is going to change based upon the younger people because it's their lifestyle now, or don't, and you're going to become obsolete, and you're not going to be welcome and wanted at events, and you're not going to have any success in the event, and you're going to go sit at a table with the other, where they, you know, and why the kids go have fun. Like, you have to figure it out. You have to understand that I like to think I'm a lot of fun when we go out places. I am, and my stories are fun, and I, it's funny, but I'm not 20. And, and you know what, the 20-somethings, they do things differently than we did, and we have a choice. That's, it's their, it's their lifestyle now. So I can either invest in myself, And look, I don't have to stand there and figure out how to, the newest dance moves, but I need to not be fucking clueless when a song comes on the radio and everybody else knows and I'm sitting there going, but it's not fucking hairband. You know, I mean, like you got to fucking get a grub. Like you, you got to be, and I don't care how fucking old you are. If you're going to be in a lifestyle and you're in your sixties, figure it the fuck out. You're old, know your fucking place. If you're in the fifties, you're old, know your fucking place. If you want to communicate with or be included in part of that group, then learn something about them. Like, learn something about that age group and what's going on and how, so you don't just sound like some fucking old person going, get out of my yard, you fucking kids. Best advice I ever, best advice I ever received was always remain teachable. People come and go in the lifestyle and everyone needs to be Be treated differently. Learning is key to keeping it entertaining. It really is. If you're willing to understand how you fit in that demographic and you can be like the super cool old person like, oh man, that fucking dude, he's old, but he's a fucking blast. You got to hang out with him. They're super, what a fun fucking couple. You can be that. You can be that person. Like, and you can have a great time. And there's some of them that will be like, you know, young people, there's something to be said. Well, you've been in a long time. Well, you know, tell us, tell us stories, dad, you know, about, about what it, you know, about what it could be some mentoring, but yeah, I mean, but, but you have to, you have to prove that you're I just can come in and bitch at them. Yeah. Like, you can't come in with... There are rules. Obviously, we have rules in our lifestyle. We need to have rules in our lifestyle. But, like, it's like putting on events. You can't go running around with your 80-year-old rules and then wonder why you don't have fucking 20-year-olds there. Because they're like, fuck you. We're not going to that shit. That's not how we want to do it. It's their world now. And understand, the key is, without them, there is no life. 90% of the bucking people, I would say 90%, let's say 85% minimum, 85% at least of the people that we started that were newbies when we were newbies 14 years ago have aged out. They're gone. That were newbies? The ones that were not newbies, they pretty much. Well, the ones that were in it have aged out completely. The ones that were, a lot of them that came in We were about the same time we were. So give or take within five, six years of our age. Because there's a lot of people I haven't seen. Look, there are people that, you know, they're with their grandkids, they're with their family. Swinging is no longer the priority. It shouldn't be a priority. There's health issues. There's all those things that happen. But 85% of them have aged out. So for the people that are clutching on to, like, the status quo, you're going to lose. Like, you're just going to get left and it's going to go away. And if you just open your mind, but it takes work. Like, that's the whole thing. It takes effort. Bettering yourself takes effort. If your thing is you want to work out and get in shape, it's not easy. It takes work. If you want to learn a new language, you want to learn whatever, it takes work. A new career takes work. Everything you do takes work. But if you put the time in, the rewards will be huge. Hell, you may put the time in and better yourself, but I don't want to do these fun kids. Whatever, that's great, but at least you know, right? But I don't know. I just think that it's like themes. Oh, my God. And I just had this conversation today. You, look, if you're 20, 20 to 30, You have worn things to high school, most likely, and college that our generation couldn't dream of, and our generation was trying to dress like that at a swinger party. And that was, like, what you wore. Like, there's shit at proms and shit. Like, I'm telling you, you go to a high school prom right now, There's not a swinger party in the world that's got a fucking thing on what some of those kids are wearing. I'm so glad my boys and my kids are grown because they'd just be like, ah. So you're not going to wow them with a slutty maid outfit. Motherfuckers, they've been wearing that shit for fun for fucking 15 years. It ain't going to fucking happen. They don't want to do an 80s theme party because you know what? their grandparent's age. Oh, that's not true. Really? There are some people that like. Really? What? Really? Yes, their grandparent's age it could be. Exactly. But it doesn't mean they don't like dressing like their grandparents. They don't. That's not retro to them. That's not retro to them. That's retro to us. That's not retro to them. The 2000s, if you're 20, if you're 27, the 2000s equivalent of us doing an 80s. dance to them, not the 80s. The 50s are still romantic, right? And the 60s. But no. 80s, no. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. They don't, that's not what they... They have a 50s party. Exactly. Because that's, but that's something, and Jessica was telling me, I forget what she called it, there's a new rave type party thing is like Elizabethan, the younger generation digs this. It's like Elizabethan type party. Okay, yes, that. Well, I don't know if that's what it's actually called, but that's what it's based upon. Yeah. I think that'd be badass where you get a dress for it. I have no idea. But the point that I'm making with that is, is that as a lifestyle and as an organization within a lifestyle, you have to know that the old school themes aren't going to fucking cut it anymore. Like, that's not going to draw a crowd. It's killer to me to think that 80s hair man shit isn't going to draw a crowd. But it fucking won't. It's not. Those days are fucking gone. That age group, that's like old people. You don't believe me. Yeah, I don't know. If the kids, think about this. If the kids now like shit that's Elizabethan, What does that tell you? It means they base this off of a show that they've watched. Right. So the shows that we watched. And I watched Bridgerton, so I don't know. Okay. Before you were fucking old. The shows we watched growing up, things were slinky and sexy. And that's what it shows. Okay, roll your eyes. Miami Vice. Miami Vice. How about looking for more? Good times in Sanford and Sanford. Okay. No, not stupid sitcoms. But if you went to Dynasty, Dallas, all those shows, that's where you're seeing cleavage dresses and stuff. So if the kids are now thinking this other shit more covered is cool, what does that tell you if you're designing themes? It's common sense then. You're not going to slutty them into fucking coming somewhere. Like, it won't work. It just won't. But as an old person, I mean, obviously you have a leg up on because you watch the show, whatever. As other old people, we have to figure that out. And we have to fucking learn and watch and try to spend the time to figure out what that shit even means and what's going on with it. Oh my god, you're just sitting there staring at me like fucking nothing. Never mind. I don't even know why I tried these deep fucking podcasts. I'm just listening. I seriously don't. I'm just listening to you. Yeah. Anyways, there you go. Getting old sucks. That's what we're talking about. Getting old sucks. No, it just, it's just the challenge I put out to people is what have you done? What have you done in the last six fucking months to better yourself? I mean, I would say in your life, what have you done in the last six months to better yourself in your life? Because everybody should be in their own life. But even more importantly, well, not more importantly, but in the lifestyle, fuck, I'll even take it further back than that. What have you done in the last year to better yourself in the lifestyle? Good question. And I mean, the answer for most of us, me included, is like, uh, cricket. I haven't really been thinking about it. I mean I think about it but it's because we have events and stuff but I don't think about me personally about it well and that's that's hell that's even worse for us uh I think a Roman toga party will go with any generation might be the only thing yes I toga there you go animal house no matter what always you know it's it's I mean I know what I've done to better myself as a person right but not necessarily with the livestock so livestock I think we all tend to think about overall things, but it's, I mean, that's why I wanted to do this show is like to put that concept out there to go, because most of it I've thought of, what have we, what have we done to better ourselves in lifestyle? Most hobbies, you do things to get better at it. Oh, hey, I like to golf, so I'm going to go up and hit a bucket of balls. you're going to practice, right? You're going to go up and fucking go to driving range. Or you're going to go shoot pool. You're going to go fucking, you know, whatever. You're going to play tennis. You're going to take some tennis. You're going to go out there with a hitting machine and fucking, you know, hit balls all day long. Pretty much. Or you're going to the batting cage. Fucking bitch, seriously. Or you're going to the batting cage. So every other thing, a hobby, whatever we do, things to get better. But it's like, how do, that's, that's the cool part of the lifestyle. The lifestyle is like, it's not just a physical activity. That's just it. That's the biggest problem people have is that, oh, it's about sex. It's just physical. No, the physical part comes only if you have sex. have the mental part. If you and your spouse are fucking totally not on the right page and fucking squabble and shit goes down, it will kill fucking that night at an event, right? So it's not the physical that kills the mental, it's the mental that kills the physical. And we don't ever think about it. And so many of us, if we're super actualized, so maybe we are doing events or we help with events, whatever, and we start thinking about the overall picture, but we don't ever come back and go, what have we done for us? What have I done to be, to improve, to make it so that I'm more, like, desirable, have more fun, whatever, improve the lifestyle? We don't think of that. What could we do if we did? I don't know. And maybe it is something simple like, you know, walking through the store and looking at that shirt and going, oh, that's kind of a cool new shirt, that's a modern shirt, and picking it up. Maybe it's something that fucking simple. Maybe it's something simple about, you know what? I don't want to dye my hair. Or I do want to dye my hair. Or I don't want to dye my beard. Or I do want to dye my beard. Maybe it's about going, you know, I'm going to spend more than 10 minutes getting ready to go out tonight. Like, those types of things could make, could like take what has become mundane. and just average and make it extraordinary. When you think about it, when you don't know what the fucking you're doing at something versus 10 years later and you're really proficient at something. In 99% of the world activities, these experiences are shitty because you didn't know what the fuck you were doing. And these over at 10 years are the ones that are like incredible. The Fucking Lifestyle is the only goddamn activity. And every one of you listening to this know this is fucking true. If you've been in it longer than fucking two months, the best experiences were fucking when. When were the experiences that you just go, damn. Spontaneous. When you didn't know what the fuck you were doing. If that was the highlight of What the fuck? It's not supposed to go from the high to drop down here. What that says is as great as this was when you had no fucking earthly idea what the fuck you were doing. You didn't know fucking, you know, shit from apple butter. And all of a sudden, what can this be? Like, this can be fucking insane. I say it all the time. I would kill. If I could go back to high school one week, but knowing what I know now, knowing that girls are just as horny guys, knowing what I know now, if I could go back to college, I couldn't do it more than one week because it would fucking kill me. If I could go back to college with the way I lived in college, just thinking pretty as my hair was back in college and the shape I was in in college, everything else. I could go back to college with the confidence I have now, but look like that sweet mother of buck. That would be insane. If I could chase dogs out of my windows like this, I could. And that's ultimately the goal. Except we forgot that that's possible. I challenge everybody listening to think about the greatest experience you have had in the And don't try to make one that was recently to try to offset it. But legitimately, the greatest experience in the lifestyle. And what you didn't know and when it happened. And now magnify it by a thousand. Because that's what you have the ability to do. We have the ability to do it if we will put the fucking effort and work into it. We can do it. Part of the problem is the reason why we don't do it is because we're not happy with ourselves. We're not. You know, the whole one last week, like with the shame and all that shit that we talked about that goes with it. We didn't know any better back here when we started. It's fucking stupid to know that we should feel guilty, bad, whatever we didn't know. We were going on pure fucking adrenaline. It's like taking the fucking bang and just fucking shooting straight in your fucking veins and you're just going on this fucking like crack-filled squirrel high. We didn't know to, we didn't have, we hadn't put any limitations on ourselves because we didn't know what the fuck limits were. And we've since reined everything in, so now the best Fuck, if any part of your life the best experience was 15 years ago, it's like, what the fuck are we doing? And we all do it every fucking day, every year, every event, every time. And we absolutely have the ability to change it. You're going to have to get out of your comfort zone. You're going to have to fucking go. This could fail like a motherfucker. You're going to have to shut all the fucking warning bells and signs off and everything that goes, don't do this. And just fucking go for it. Just do it. And I can say this because I'm living this. I'm living this very fear as we go through with shit. I'm living this fear of every event we go through. go to now of understanding and figuring out how I can still have the best possible time without having any booze. I am figuring that shit out as we go through, right? I, you know, I haven't obviously shaved my head and started wearing wigs yet. So I'm going through it with the not being as comfortable as I was with the way I wanted to look and all those fucking things. So I'm living it and I understand the fear and the terror that goes with it. But at 50 fucking three years old, understanding that three years old, I don't care if it's mild or not you were fucking at a point that shit could have been done you can't live the best your best life now if you're not fucking living and the reality of it is we're not living why fucking being something like the lifestyle just go through the fucking motions it's horrible that's like just throwing away this golden opportunity you've the balls and the guts to fuck other people. You found the balls and the guts to go for it. Fuck what society said because you wanted to live your fucking life. And you got there and then all you did with it was nothing. Nothing. At some point in time in your life, we're all going to have our last day on this fucking earth. And you're going to have that moment in time. And it's at that moment in time, everything that you didn't do is going to hit you. When there's absolutely no opportunity and no way to change it. When there's nothing you can do about it. And all you can say is, I wish. I should have. And it's too fucking late. That's coming. Well, wake up, fucking folks. Because here's the deal. If you're in your 50s, you ain't fucking midlife. Do the math. Midlife is 35. Do the fucking math. You're on the downward fucking slope. So that day, that day of fucking reckoning, that day of reality is coming like a fucking sledgehammer. Like an absolute sledgehammer. And you reach a point at an age where you can get there, and you think, well, I got 20 years, I got this, and it can be taken away. Just like fucking that. Taken away. Oops. Crapped out. Guess you missed a shot. The only thing worse in the day of reckoning and not doing your shit and having that to look at is hit, have health thing hit when you're finally going, I'm going to do this, and have it hit, and now you get to sit for the next 10 years and dwell on the fact that you didn't fucking do it. And I see this in the porn world. There's so many, when we go to porn conventions, there's so many girls that are fucking, they're gorgeous, they're young, they're all these things, right? They're porn stars. And the reality of it is, is that you have to, as a guy, go, your first thing is, oh, that's out of my league. You know what? It's out of your league if you let it be out of your fucking league. We said at Exotica, and I nearly, I nearly let a fucking junior high comment from almost a year earlier dictate how the fuck I was going to dress in a booth that I'd spent $4,000 to be at. Think about that. That's fucking asinine. And what caused me to go ahead and fucking not let that happen is the fact that the realization of the things we'd found out three weeks before then. It's your fucking life. Do what you want. Do as thou wilt. But if you sit there and do nothing with it, if you sit there and squander it, and if you sit there and take this opportunity of the lifestyle and piss it the fuck away, rock on. But don't you ever, don't you dare ever fucking bitch. Don't you bitch to your significant other. Don't you bitch in groups. Don't you bitch in pages. Don't you ever fucking bitch because you don't have that right. because you pissed it away. You did it to yourself. Live your best fucking life. Invest in yourself. Go for it. Push the boundaries. Push the boundaries of what you think you can do. You may be fucking surprised. You may be surprised but the one thing you'll be really at the end of really the final thing will be is you'll be fucking glad you did it. You'll be glad you did it because In a fucking instant, it can be gone. It can absolutely be gone. And maybe your instant already almost came. We don't know. I got to find out that mine did. Mine did. I didn't get to find it until almost three years later, but mine did. Maybe yours has already come too. So what the fuck are you going to do with it? What are you going to do with it? You got to choose. It's this simple. Sorry. Okay. Then this show goes off the fucking rails. He goes on little tangents here and there. That's just what Cole does. And we all know that. This is why Cole sees his therapist and he's getting much better every fucking day. Derricka listens to this and is like. Your time's late. All right. Well, yep, sure is. Well, I'm sure with that, everybody's super excited for this news. Tune in next week to see if Cole strokes out again. You never yawned once. I was going to throw something in your mouth. God damn it. Ew, that's disgusting. You know what? I wanted to, but every time I took a drink is because I wanted to yawn. Awesome. All right. Well, while we still have sponsors, a good shout-out to our sponsors. It's in LifestyleMagazine.com. Hey, go vote for us. Just remember, Savory Sunflower is not nuts. Neither does Amanda's who vote for. Well, now I don't have something to throw at you. So go vote. at ASNLifestyleMagazine.com. STD Hero. Seriously, make 2026 a year to be saved. There's no excuses not to get a little fucking test. It's $69. Invest in yourself, like your health. Get how that works. And MotorBunny.com. Don't just shove anything random up your cooter. Make sure it's top quality, product quality. Or your ass. Absolutely. Yeah, because they have that too. Make sure that it's a quality product company that you can know will stand behind their their products and something that you can take a lot of pride in. Motorbunny.com. With that being said, kids, doing it the only way I know how, the only way I want to, and the only way I ever fucking will. Hopefully someone will ever listen again. Kazna Style, out. Bye.