Red flags

Mayhem, I saw you looked, but didn’t open your pics. Fuck you. lol

:-P

~Allen

One - We get that too, but in your case some of that for you may be due to your online name and the fact there are so many guys online, and the ones far away want to see what they're missing ;-)

So many times in the past when we've reached out to a couple and there seemed to be interest but, due to schedules, we couldn't meet for 3 or more weeks, 99% of the time it dies on the vine. We forget to reach back out and/or they do, and then most times, that's that.

We do get a lot of people that check out our profile, and if that's all they do, then I assume there's no interest. At least seeing that they opened up pics (if I think to check for that) would tell us otherwise. As mentioned, kind of like a Like button.

I do realize that checking someone out and then opening up pics isn't particularly efficient, but for us it just seems the lessor of evils versus reaching out and then having to say, ""Yeah, we're interested. Maybe we can meet in a month or so".

We have had numerous people view our profile from hundreds and even thousands of miles away according to SLS. I assume it is because of a posting on the forum. So how can I tell if someone has actually viewed my pics?

I have WVM turned off and that's been the case about half the time I've had this profile. A few weeks ago, checking someone's cert (I was going to say no, but hadn't figured out why yet, other than the pandemic), I discovered the cert's private gallery was open. This was not a couple I'd ever heard from, they live 90 minutes away if there's no traffic, and the chance that I'd ever find that out was slim.

I did a quick pass of two or three pages of whoever was on at the time and found three more profiles with open private galleries.

My call? Super inefficient way to express interest and if they wanted me to know they were, they should have written.

We've had people view our profile & noticed they opened pics without sending a message. Guess it's similar to using a flirt or like feature some other swing sites have. If we're interested & appear to be compatible, we'll open our pics & reach out to see if they're interested in meeting. We've met a few couples this way since SLS instituted the Who Viewed Me feature.

Ditto 2outdoor, that's exactly what we do and for those very same reasons.

When someone views your profile and opens pics but doesn't send you a message

I do that quite frequently. To me it's sort of like a "like" button. Then when I return to their profile at a later date and their pics are open as well I know that there is at least a fair amount of interest. Probably the biggest reason I do it is to get them to open up face pictures before anyone ever emails. I HATE reaching out to someone and then after we see the face pics if we are not interested I have to go through the awkward (sorry but you're ugly) email. lol

It's also just a quickie way of saying hi.

AandJ - I have at times done that when we know we're booked for the next 3 or 4 weekends in a row. Just hate to reach out to someone and then have to say, "Maybe we can meet in a month or so." if there's interest.

A lot of times I don't even remember to check to see if people that viewed us opened up pics. Probably should though. One of the SLS competitor sites has a Like button, which I'll sometimes use to let someone know there's interest even if we're booked for the mext month or so.

A lot has to do with how close they are too, because that could open up a (somewhat rare for us) weekday meeting if there's mutual interest.

This is an oldie but a goodie but it seems to be more common lately than it has been in a while.

When someone views your profile and opens pics but doesn't send you a message. Makes no sense to us why you'd do that. It seems to us that if you can't send a quick note to introduce yourself you lack or have way too much confidence.

We'd rather get a quick im like "Hi, we're so and so and we opened some pics for you. Let us know what you think" than have to get lucky enough to come across your profile and maybe see your pics are open.

One of my biggest grips is no pictures of the guy and if there is one he is wearing sunglasses and no smiles. Usually a ton of her and maybe if your lucky one of him. Personally for most of us ,the wives say whether we will meet or play. Pics of only her tells me dont bother, he must be ashamed of how he looks and if he is so am I.

Couples that have a good chat with, all seems good and when you agree to meet play etc., everything has to be 100%, non negotiable, by their rules with zero consideration of your rules , thoughts etc.

Have started seeing more profiles set up as a couple with no information of the female, and only pictures of the male. I guess this is the new game for single males to be able to see couples. Kind of obvious when the female is listed as 99 years of 3 feet tall and zero pounds...

We just viewed the Profile of an ID that had viewed ours earlier. They have a Public Gallery with 117 pictures in it. That's right ... 117. And are you ready for this? EVERY ONE of them is of her! YES! Not a single picture of him. Need we even say "red flag"???

About the family getting sick thing (and life with kids getting in the way (cockblocking)), it definitely happens. We're lucky if we get out twice a year. When we do though, we're good to go-- which is why we primarily attend hotel parties or group events. They increase the likelihood of meeting someone. It would be nice if it were more often, but for us that hasn't been the case.

We've had a bunch of misfires with inaccurate profiles, no-shows, etc. That's the other reason we go to group events. What you see is what you get :-)

Couple profiles that only have pics of either the guy or the girl....you're hiding something if you can't show both of you, ESPECIALLY if can't show yourself full body and your profiles state you're slim/athletic. We don't want to find out on the meeting that you're not who you say you are.

Unfortunately for us, we did not realize that the pictures were more than 10 years old until the couple showed up. I saw them as they walked into the bar. They resembled the pictures enough that I could recognize them but just barely. The pictures were at least 15 years old and she had put on a lot of weight. I didn't even want o talk to them but we did anyway. Even the conversation was dull and bad. One of our few dates that was truly bad.

Dated pictures continue to be our biggest SLS Red Flag. The odd part? We are on a couple of different swinging sites and dated pictures is much more of an SLS thing than anywhere else. Had a couple respond to a Hot Date post last weekend. they were from out of town and were looking for some fun. Decent profile write up and the initial pictures seemed to match us.

Then came the big reveal. If we are interested we always open our face picture gallery before meeting. We are realistic about it, we may not be their cup of tea after seeing past our public gallery blurs. They did the same and OMG, they had to have aged 15 years from the pictures in their public gallery to their private. We guessed their strategy was that we'd like them sooooo much we'd look past the significant difference in their past to present pictures. Ahhhhhh no!

People People People......truth in advertising works in a swinger world as well, maybe more so than anywhere else. We were polite and passed on meeting them but at the same time were honest and told them the reason was their dated pictures in the pubic gallery. Odds of them updating their pubic pictures to match current reality? Based on past SLS experience we guessed zero to none :(

OR taken of her while she is turned around.. sleeping, etc..probably did not even know they were taken.

It's sad that you have to think that way. But we've had several moms go into the hospital or pass away on our prospective playmates. So much that we worry for our moms. Seems the lifestyle is hell on Mother's.

When they say they can't get together this weekend or next because their mom passed away I feel pretty bad for them.

A month later when they say they can't get together because their mom died. I tend to throw the red flag. Lol

Regarding photos as red flags, we were contacted recently (I forget if it was here or another site) but what was supposedly a couple. There only photos was two of her and two of him. Both of him were selfies, one of his dick. Both or her were taken from behind and appeared to be without her knowledge. I recall one of those was taken obliquely through a bathroom door of her nude but facing the mirror doing her hair or make-up.

They could have been 100% real, but nothing in the photos appeared as though they were in this together, and at least to me suggested she likely had no idea he took of photo of her nude and then posted it on a swinger site. There may have been more in the essays or message, but especially the photos screamed "red flag" to me. YMMV.

FWIW and yes maybe to much Scotch I asked another husband at a meet and greet why they have never, yes never updated their lead (default) picture. I kid you not he said it's like their Nike Swoosh, it's their brand. She was and is a beautiful woman but my inside voice was telling myself, you need to update your brand. My darling wife overhead the conversation and was smart enough to take me by the hand and walk away. Aging is a funny component it happens to us all but at times we all need to examine who is looking back at you from the mirror.

And to you RONKATHY. We've noticed you two keep your pictures current and fresh!! We have no doubt that if we ever met you, you'd be exactly as your represent yourselves and not from that one signature picture you took 5 years ago LOL.

Cheers!!

For everyone it's probably different and we'd agree with many of the previous comments. For us? Lack of depth is a huge red flag. In full disclosure we operate under the more is more category, yes we have a wordy profile LOL. The first thing we look at is the pictures (duh). If you've had the same pictures up for X-years and never updated them? Red Flag. Let's be honest, we all change and while that ONE signature default picture from 5 years ago is hot...it's probably not what you look like today. We went out last weekend and it took 5 minutes to take a few pictures and they are on our profile now.

Second is the section of the profile fantasies and/or real experiences. If you use the standard cop out of we will tell you in person? Red Flag. If you have a freak, fly that flag proudly. Just our two cents but if you can't TYPE "your thing" in the privacy of your own home, on your keyboard, will you really be able to express it over a drink or two or once the clothes hit the floor? Past experience says no.