Red flags

Serendipity21,

'Things that don't ad up. Sigle guys who can't talk after 5 pm or on weekends. We take time to get to know people and then little things come out like the fact they are fucking anything that will hold still long enough. How they dress tells a lot about their personalities. Do they drink all the time or talk about it or share many drunk tales. There are many more."

I'm not judging your approach to meeting people and learning about them. If that works for you, great.

What I am judging, appreciating the irony of, and laughing at, is that someone who uses that approach to meeting people chose the name Serendipity for themselves. lol

Maybe red flags but maybe not? I've learned to not bother with a profile if they are a free member, or don't have weight listed, very few or no pictures, or have not been on the website in several days. The idea of a 3some does not appeal to us and always leaves us wondering if everyone in the other couple knows what's going on. Also have learned that if they want to be friends first, they're probably not for us. We have plenty of vanilla friends. We have made friends in the LS, but it was because the conversation was good, followed by some good sex. Afterward, we were all ready to get together again.

Generally speaking, if something doesn't feel right, it probably isnt...and that's ok. In this lifestyle, it is better to not have an encounter than have a negative encounter. We talk to a lot of people that have had bad experiences when they were new...The "Red Flags" were there, they just either didn't see them or ignored them because they were desperate to have a first (or second) experience. It happens, it happened to Belle and me! lesson learned. If you are the Red Flag, and you know it, be upfront and honest, you might not be everyone's cup of tea...and that's ok.
-Adam, Swinging Outside the Lines

As a person who works nights and weekends, I really hate that my entire schedule is seen as a red flag. I get home about 7am and it's time for bed.... Red flag for disappearing all day long. It's 9p-7a when I go work.... Red flag for not having nights free.... Sometimes I work till Saturday morning.... Red flag for not being free on fridays. Worse is when it flips to Sat and Sun night.... Red flag for not being free on the weekend.. F%$K lol

I tried to make it better by posting that I can host.... hint hint, there's no wife/girlfriend here. But I'm sure most are already flagged me the second I say, "I have 3 nights free every week, but some months it's during the week"

Can't give up my cake shift though!!

Things that don't ad up. Sigle guys who can't talk after 5 pm or on weekends. We take time to get to know people and then little things come out like the fact they are fucking anything that will hold still long enough. How they dress tells a lot about their personalities. Do they drink all the time or talk about it or share many drunk tales. There are many more.

Hello this is MRS. EAT ME. I am kinda glutton for punishment. I give people the benefit of the doubt and believe that they're being trustworthy. this couple we met not too long ago and been chatting with for about a month. They seem nice on the outside but internally they are so far off. They have so many flags that we continue to conversate with them. First red flag was she would talk to Mr.Eat me in private chat only. We usually talk as a group so that everyone could get to know everyone else. When I finally started chatting with the male half he said that he was only in it to make her happy and at their sex life was suffering. So they thought swinging would fix it. That is a huge flag number 2. Flag number 3 we couldn't tell which one was lying. My husband and I used to read each other's chats that happened during the day. And a couple never agreed on one straight answer they both said something totally different that's flag 3 they can't be honest they don't know each other well enough to know what the true answer is. Now my husband chats with her and I no longer have contact with them. And they both seem to be just fine with it. The female half of that couple plays alone and she has jealousy issues of seeing her husband have a good time with anyone else she even threatened to leave him if he did. That is another huge flag. People like this should be nowhere near a swinging website. And unless you ask questions and dig deep into a conversation you'll never find out the answers. I know for me this was a huge turnoff you go into this looking for an edge fun and excitement but when you have to beg someone to be honest and respectful and to be upfront and you waste all that time just trying to get all the answers any interest is gone. XOXOXO~Eileen

One of our red flags is when asked for nudes after the initial email exchange. We have no issues sending pictures but do not feel the need to send nudes without knowing much about the other couple other than what is in the profile. Suggestive pics maybe, but we also do not ask for nudes either. And like others I the male tend to do more of the communication on here as I have more time available, however we both look over a profile before responding. And she is usually the one who makes the initial voice contact with the other female. It has worked well for us, so we stick with it.

There's many red flags but we go by the feeling we get when talking to another profile. Usually in the first couple of exchanges we can tell. One that we're tired of is the "I screen everyone and then she gets involved later". This last couple the guy demanded that he get not only pics of the female half here but the cell number too. When asked if we'd get hers, his response was "no, I need to protect her". Understandable, but you don't think the female on this side deserves any protection? So much nonsense among what are supposed to be adults.

I'm on my phone or I would be more elaborate with my responses. In that case we had been chatting for a few days, ton of back and forth where the wife was an afterthought. I'm not talking an email response but pages of convo.

"We definitely seen the guy who never speaks of his wife."

Patience young Padawan; Sometimes it takes us a week or more to even converse about an email. This certainly isn't on everyone's high priority list and there are those only in it when it won't interfere with daily agendas.

~Allen

Very true but I can see how some are blatant. I'm sure you would include some basic info about your other half. If I see someone not mention the wife for a full swap I get leery. It became a very one sided convo.

As has been mentioned what may be a "red flag" to some may just be how others do things or a comfort level. For us he (or I should say I) am the active party online. I make posts on the forum, check out profiles, etc. When we send a mail it is usually written or at least typed by me but before it is sent she offers input, changes, and in some cases adds things in. That said she has a 9-5 as it were and I do not so I have the time to do things. That would be a red flag for some. We also prefer to keep communications on site and are not about exchanging phone numbers and such until after we meet somewhere in public. Quite honestly we have done so then met people and regretted they had more than our e-mail address before we joined this site. That would be a red flag for some. I could go on but honestly there are a lot of things people consider a "red flag" that are just personal preferences and not something that is true across the board in all cases. It really takes a face to face (or live voice/video chat if you prefer but we are a bit old school) to begin to get a feel for someone or a couple. Honestly you can tell a lot more when talking in person than you ever could by any list of "red flags" online. In fat if you made such a list using everyone's "red flags" it would result in you not meeting anyone.

Yeah we got the couple but only he is playing. We definitely seen the guy who never speaks of his wife. We meet a lovely couple tomorrow, wish me luck!

With us MrAandJ does all the comminication until we meet. If that's a red flag for folks so be it. But we're real, really a couple, and really do show up when we say we will.

MrsAandJ says she doesn't have time to chat/text/kik with anyone. If she did she'd choose to chat more with close friends and family.

Red flags we see all the time have all been mentioned- couples profile written with lots of I or mes, no pics of him, no concern for the both of you etc.

Since we don't generally play on the first date we find that a couple emails, g rated pics being shared then right to drinks works for us. Weeds out fakes pretty quickly and gets us directly in front of each other where we can confirm we all want to be naked together. Cuts through the BS in our opinion.

...a desire to share photos off this site vs having photos uploaded to their profile. ...no profile photo. ...a couple’s profile written in the first person (I vs we)... to name a few more.

BT

Mentions of the word "drama," because nobody who brings the drama thinks it's them. Negativity. A ton of rules. Photos of her, none of him. Interest in daytime only play (could be nothing, could be a cheating spouse). That's all I have at the moment, but I'm sure I'll think of more.

We have been perusing the forums and I see red flags mentioned. We are new and curious about what to look out for.