Performance issues and otc pills

I always feel bad for the guy and the women trying to get him hard in these situations. The guy feels horrible enough that he's not performing, but sometimes the women feel it's something about her that he can't get hard for her. Could be either, or both factors. Whichever - never fun. To the part of the original topic referencing pills: for a guy who qualifies to take a PDE5 inhibitor, like Viagra, and responds to them - never hurts to use them as a safety net even if you don't often have performance issues.

One of our rules is that we play same-room.

If I see that the other husband is having trouble getting hard or staying hard, I try to arrange a water or bathroom break for myself so that he is left alone with his wife and my wife. I’ll try to dawdle long enough for the women to get him worked up.

Well said Moekathy.

Well said Moecathy.

Moekathy

So true. I would just add that even if you are turned on by a person and want sex, sometimes things just don't comply. It happens.

OP: This sort of goes against the grain of the "slow down" message, but if you get hard, most women would rather you use it right then and there than be licked, only to have you lose it. The fact that you do get hard says that this is highly likely to be in your head.

FWIW - I will either lick a girl first, then if needed, have her give me a BJ to get hard, or if we start with a BJ, I'll fuck her and THEN lick her afterwards. I do always try to reciprocate, unless I know a girl isn't into oral. The feeling of being inside of her, your hip thrusts, and hopefully her feedback from getting well fucked will keep you from going soft if it's mostly just an anxiety issue.

In one sense, it's like being in a queue for giving a speech. Being last can be the worst, because now you have more time to get nervous. As mentioned by others, the more speeches you give (so to speak), the easier public speaking becomes.

If you can do seperate room play, definitely give it a try. I have witnessed many guys having this problem once another guy starts fucking a girl. It's almost like males are wired that way from some latent animal-like programming.

I think the real problem is we think we should be able to always perform.

So you screened a couple well, you chatted online, you like their photos, and you maybe even met for drinks once or twice. You did all the due diligence and now in bed, you can't seem to get it up. Fucks with your head until you realize that you are not necessarily the issue. If the sex styles don't match, both partners will lose interest, but it shows more on the male side for the obvious reasons. Rule is if you start worrying about losing your erection, then you will.

You have to accept that you will always have a percentage of such situations as long as you are in the lifestyle, and be willing to acknowledge them and move on. Not everyone is meant for everyone.

I’ve had the same experience onehorneywife. Sometimes the heat just isn’t there. Lol

There have been a number of times we have met with single/married guys or couples and the other man has had issues. There have been times when play starts and the woman just isn't doing it for me I will lose interest and have issues with staying hard. When I do I usually get back with my wife and she will perk me right up.

Sorry if you wrote this and I just glossed over it but, In these scenarios, has there been another man in the room? That can be a mental hangup for a lot of guys. Maybe try something in the comfort of your own home.

I wouldn't bother with OTC stuff when you can get an Rx online and delivered right to you. There are numerous services that provide that. I will say that a mental hangup can sometimes be stronger whatever pill you took.

If you are embarrassed to discuss ED issues with YOUR DR get over it... its a health issue and can be serious... blood flow, something clogged, cancer issues, tumors, etc etc.. a good DR will check all including Testosterone levels and if low will advise appropriate actions.. most active men our age have done this and all on Testosterone that we know.. that has improved their life , how they feel and sex actions!

If your DR is not knowledgeable and up to date on all get a new DR.. They are not all the same!

You can actually get ED meds online through various legitimate websites now that will ask you to answer questions about your physical condition. If you’re embarrassed about asking your family doctor for it, and you don’t mind paying for the prescription out-of-pocket, then that could be an option for you.

I'll agree that it is most likely mental. Performance anxiety can be a real bitch! However, you also mentioned the pool and dancing...so it could also be an energy/fatigue issue. Then when we combine the two and you're going over in your head whether you have enough left in you to drill your partner....problem. Plus the penis isn't something you can focus on or give a pep talk to and he'll magically report for duty. Quite the opposite. Pills can help mask the performance anxiety but they aren't going to do much for true exhaustion. OTC pills are mostly a gimmick in my experience. I've seen countless people use it in the past unsuccessfully. After considering what you're being told in this and other replies....if you absolutely want to go the medicated route, why not talk to your MD/DO? I had a chat with mine prior to joining the LS and he was happy to print a few different scripts (for STD protection) and one for Viagra/Sildenafil.

Like some have said it's most likely mental, but that doesn't make it any less of a real problem. The problem is performance anxiety and it's extremely common. Honestly, I'd say 70% of the guys we have encountered have had a problem. The bitch is you may not be conscious of the anxiety at all. Anxiety is not just mental. When we experience anxiety our body reacts with stress hormones and diverts blood to your large muscles. This makes it nearly impossible to get an erection. The lack of an erection starts a vicious circle because when you don't respond, you become more anxious which makes it harder and harder (or in this case softer and softer) This was EXACTLY my situation.

My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for decades off and on. When we first started I was much younger, and even then I had problems. There is nothing, NOTHING worse then not rising to the occasion (pun intended). We nearly left the lifestyle but I saw the potential of friends and fun so I researched my brains out.

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, I have no medical training apart from being first aid certified and having watched every season of ER. I am offering no medical advice and recommend you speak with your doctor or trained medical professional before you make any medical related decisions. Finally, I'm not selling anything. (and to think I'm not a lawyer).

Ok, so oral meds did (and do thank you very much) the trick just fine with my wife. In groups I have found a medication that turns me into Captain Chubby Pants!!! I found a clinic in my area that specialized in male performance. They recommended a blend of meds called TriMix. It runs a tad pricey, but the effect is undeniable. It is not impacted by anxiety at all and can keep you in the game for a long time even through orgasm.

I also occasionally use a med called Caverject. It's one of the three meds in TriMix. I got my rx from a urologist I was referred to by my regular doctor. The benefit is it needs no refrigeration and travels much easier. It's also a better choice if you don't play often.

Two final points. If you can't stomach the idea inserting a needle way down there, this is not for you. It's not my favorite moment, but honestly it's not a big deal at all. 7 - 10 minutes after the shot you can pop the knot out of a 2x4, but if you can't deal with that just keep looking for something else. Second, talk to your doctor and be honest. Good luck man!

its mental man. Sometimes youget overly excited and it just messes with your junk. For me, this happens when I try to go too fast. If you relax and let the interactions run as smoothly as if you were alone with the Mrs., then it would fair better.

My humble opinion.

2outdoorlovers so you are saying that some untested, unregulated, unknown contents pill is better than going to the doctor? No one should ever not talk to their doctor and discuss things before starting any medication or supplement OTC or not. I know a guy whose issue was his blood pressure medicine and due to him taking those OTC pills ended up in the emergency room because it interacted badly. Honestly performance issues are caused by a wide variety of issues. Some simply age and associated things (like low T) that go with it. Others are due to certain medications. Then there are mental issues (not mental health issues) that cause performance problems. Of course there also is other aches and pains (knees, back, etc) which distract you especially when you are being active. I know a guy who had a bad cramp that ended with about a half hour of muscle twitching that ended his night. Without knowing the cause you cannot treat the problem. It is worth going to a doctor and finding out what the issue might be. It could be as simple as changing some medications or adding an OTC supplement. Of course for some it could be finding a perscription ED treatment med that works for them because Viagra does not work for everyone as it were. Oh and for some it is actually finding the right combination of things like changing meds, a prescribed ED treatment and boosting testosterone levels. I also know of a guy that had an implant he can pump up because nothing else worked. What works for one does not always work for others and working with an actual doctor who knows your medical history is the best way to resolve such problems. Of course you can take unregulated OTC "supplements" that make claims they don't live up to but do so with the understanding there could be complications you have no clue could arise a doctor would know about.

Well Rustic is sorta right but a lot wrong. Yes many online pills are junk but many work VERY VERY WELL! You just gotta try a few and find a reputable supplier. WAYYY cheaper than viagra. Also not all pills work for all men. My doctor prescribed viagra didn't do shit while I've gotten some $5-6 per pills online that allows me to stay hard as long as I want even after I cum.

You obviously have no problems on the dance floor, so why don't you add a disco ball, some lights and loud speakers to your living room, and you should be all set :)

Seriously, it is mental. You will get over it with more practice. You said you have only been with two couples. I (Moe) have experienced this in the beginning and it goes away as you get comfortable with the scene. I found there are usually two humps to the sexual excitement. A fast one in the beginning, and often you are so worried about performing, that you actually become unable to. The second is slow, and is usually in the second half of the encounter, after you have relaxed a bit, and let things progress at their slower, more normal pace. Take advantage of that second one.

Over the past 8 years, Kathy and I have seen many similar cases, and Kathy has been very good with helping the guys slow down the pace, and just wait until the build up happens naturally at the right moment.

Don't forget to invite us to your disco once you are done! :)

While it is likely mental. I was younger than you and we were in a very uncomfortable (way too soft and bouncy to fuck) bed with another 2 couples and not only did I have issues with keeping it up but so did another male. We were experienced and have had no problems with each other (separately) but the combination of trying to find a rhythm while not sinking into the bed and keeping a position to please your partner made us all give up. Later that evening we moved to a different area in the club and had all sorts of fun with no problems. My point is it happens especially with "distractions". Someone was somewhat spot on with the try a MFM combo where you can focus but also a FMF combo will be good if not better. This is especially true if you can simply lay back and let them pleasure you.

That being said going and having the talk with your doctor is also something to consider. Any guy over 40 that experiences more than the occasional "distracted" deflation needs to consider going to your doctor. Yes there is the embarrassment of saying "Hey doc BTW I'm having a bit of an issue in keeping an erection." but that is far better than the embarrassment of "Sorry I can't keep it up to fuck." If you get a prescription and are having no issues with your wife then you only need to take it before you know you will be with others as insurance. BTW it is worth adding by getting a pill for assurance you are also thinking about your partner's needs as well. Not just because you are giving them a good hard screw but also how do you think it can make some women feel when you are hard then suddenly not in the middle of having sex (or as you are going for insertion which is the most common time it happens)? My wife has been through this more than once with a guys including a good single friend who was going through the loss of functionality which we helped him work through finding the right prescription. It was through that we learned it has nothing to do with her and is all on him whoever he may be. Of course there is always the jackass that wants to blame the woman including some who took an OTC that never works before hand so they know they have a problem.

Oh and as far as the OTC or order online crap goes some of it might offer some small assistance but most of it is designed around being sold to guys who cannot swallow their pride and go see a doctor. They really don't work unless it is truly a mental block where just like taking a pill made of sugar your mind thinks it works and does something.

Talk to your doctor. You can leave the lifestyle part out of the conversation.

Get a prescription for an ED medication. Take it when you're going to a party.

Welcome to the forums newnccpl4fun, you are just starting your journey into the LS and are hitting some typical bumps. Since you seem to be focusing on the wife when it's playtime may I suggest that you and the wife concentrate your play on MFM. She will be your only focus and as you get accustomed to seeing her pleased by others it should soon become second nature for you and you can then move back into playing with other couples without the cockblocking thoughts of what your wife is doing.

So my issue is slightly different than most. We have only played with two couples, one couple was done in one night (vacation) the other was three times in two days at a hotel takeover. This has happened twice, first at the bar talking and touching I am hard as can be...teenage hard. We get back to the hotel and start making out and slowly starts going down. I going down on her she's going down on me, we tried switching partners back...nothing. Finally couple hours later I get 75% and can work with that.

Next time at a hotel takeover...dancing hard, in the pool hard...go to room and nothing. Yes it's mental and yes I love hearing my wife get drilled. But how can I get over this hump and start humping?