Call us?

Quote: Now damnit.. Did I not just say that I was "happy with my ignorance"... Now there you go and fuck it all up.

Oooooops, my bad … I should have told you to cover your eyes!

LOL

Now damnit.. Did I not just say that I was "happy with my ignorance"... Now there you go and fuck it all up.

As it happens, I can answer the, "what can a person do with your cell #" question … hubby is retired. He spent his career in federal law enforcement and then established a highly successful investigative agency, specializing in financial cases and international fraud. I sat him down here next to me to make sure I get this right.

There are several competing "information brokers" who offer a wide variety of services to law enforcement, and clients OUTSIDE law enforcement. Their market is primarily private investigators, security departments and journalists. They can access financial records, and information that comes from "credit headers." They can enter your phone number and obtain a "CNA" (Customer Name and Address.) They can get your social security number, dob, and list of those related to you, with their addresses and phone numbers which is highly useful if you are trying to "trace a skip."

They can access your criminal history and then track you through social media … they don't even need to be computer literate. The "social media" track is automated … they just have to choose that option.

To make it worse, there are "pretext services," who specialize in fibbing. They call targets, or those close to them on the phone with "pretexts" that are false stories calculated to get them to tell them whatever they are trying to find out. For example, using a list of known associates, "Mr Jones, Ms. Smith is applying for a job with us and listed you as a reference … can you verify some information for us?" They then spit out some known information to get the person talking and develop information they don't know.

You can "ping" the phone to get a physical location, and then use Google to visualize the area, and get pictures.

Be aware that the whole thing can be kicked off with an email address if you use that email for anything public. Did you give it to your creditors, utilities company, or use it in conjunction with something you published. "Car for sale ad … contact me at [Email] or [Cell number] … anyone searching that email, or phone number now has both your email and your phone number as well as the car you drive/drove.

Like I said, from those they can plug them into the info broker search engine (Google Lexis Nexis, Skip Smasher, Locate Plus, IRB, etc) to see what services they offer, or just Google "Information Broker" to get an idea what is out there.

The list goes on and on, but I guess you get the idea. In my mind, I picture my life as being like a ball of twine … if I let the wrong person get a starting point, they can pull and pull until they get the whole thing unwound.

I like sport sex, but I don't give anyone any information they don't need to have, and the email address I DO give them isn't one I use for anything else.

Someday I may pay for my naivety but for now I'm just rather happy with my ignorance.

For the record, I'm not actually single, although I play that way. However, my relationship status makes no difference in how vulnerable I might be. My phone number links to my children and because nothing is truly private, their data, including their addresses, is also available. Also, fun fact, because Facebook is the devil, it mines your apps for contact information, which I imagine is how it managed to suggest a prospective playmate as a friend about 20 minutes after I got home from meeting him and his wife for the first time. Apparently the same thing happened in reverse a week or so later.

The part about my children? They were small the last time I was stalked - not the first time, just the last time - and my stalker emailed me a copy of their school newsletter along with what might or might not have been a threat to their safety.

I'm a woman and therefore pretty well versed in risk management. Perhaps that's why I'm more aware of the potential for a disgruntled person I've turned down after meeting to show up at my house, contact my children, or otherwise become a nuisance. I don't think having a partner somewhere on the planet sufficiently reduces that risk.

There's a fair chance my spidey sense will catch everything up to and including a garden variety sociopath, provided I meet them. And that is another reason not to give out my number until I've met people.

And now I have something more to consider, now I know I can be located pretty easily. Thanks, sorillo! ;-)

"You can find a lot on Google or Facebook with a person's cell number usually. "

Bunch o' nosey fuckers out there...…… lol

~Allen

Also for the record. For a single female. I get it. You better play things pretty close to the vest. For a couple like us it's more like.
If somebody wants to get stupid. Give it a shot. I'll play along.

Y'know, this topic just hit the news again just two days ago, where bounty hunters in the US are using cell numbers and a paid service (available to anyone) that can pinpoint that number's current location down to a couple of hundred YARDS at any given time. You can look it up on The Daily Beast or Boing Boing. One of the vanilla internet groups I participate in was talking about this rather feverishly when the first stories hit.

We all have our own comfort levels, and none of them are the same. Not a big deal, unless someone wants to make it a big deal.

You can find a lot on Google or Facebook with a person's cell number usually.

For the record. I never told anyone that they should do something they don't want to do. I'm just asking why the secrecy?

We start out on SLS mail but it is not "in real time" because despite what it looks like, we are not always logged on so after the initial "Hello we like you, and you like us" we give out Mr.SOTW's KIK. Due to the fact that we play in a rural area with poor internet and cell service if we have a meet planned we will give out Mr.SOTW's phone # for any last minute text or calls. We never give out Mrs.SOTW's number before meeting. After we meet we may give it to her/them if we plan on seeing her/them again.

I don't want to be stalked. My phone number, no matter how diligently I scrub my web presence, often leads directly to things I don't want want people I have not vetted to have.

I haven't checked for sure, but I suspect very few women would post on this thread, oh, hey, I give my number out all the time. Some of us because we have been stalked, some because we're acutely aware of the possibility.

Also, frankly, I can have as much sex as I want without having to play by other people's rules, so why would I bother, when it's not what I want?

I do have an honest question to the folks here that DON"T give out their #. What exactly is a person gonna do if they have it? With the ability to very easily block calls/texts from other numbers what is the big deal?
Maybe my sense of trust in other people is a product of my surroundings. Hell we go on vacation for a week and don't even lock the house.

In direct response to the op. To me it would seem that someone giving you their phone number right away would actually do the opposite of throwing out red flags. I look at like they are being open and honest that they are real.

BTW, ShePlays....

It’s a little off topic, but that new profile photo is off the chain awesome. It’s been a good while since I’ve logged in to check the forums, so I might be behind on my comment. It’s an extremely good pic of you though! Congrats

Tramp

I might call them, using *67 to block my number, but I would never text anyone as I know of no way to keep them from knowing my cell number.

It ALWAYS sends up all kinds of flags when guys push me to communicate with them by KIK, or Text, or whatever … I LIKE email … I can block people I don't want to hear from and it's like pushing them right off the planet. Sadly, there are a lot of people out there who need to be pushed off the planet.

Basically, I think we should all listen to our intuition … that's what it's for.

The most we'll do after chatting with someone on the site is agree to meet at a meet and greet, club, or hotel party. Don't do one-on-ones for two reasons: a) our lives are full with fun vanilla things going on (time is tight) and b) been burned by fakes multiple times. When you go to a meet or event, what you meet is what you get :-)

We only do pics on this site and pretty much ignore profiles with no pics. If you were on a normal dating site, would you agree to meet someone with no pics? (neither would we)

We always insist on speaking (not texting) with a new couple via a phone call. After exchanging a few e-mails & opening pics, if there are 4 votes to meet, we like to say hello to verify there is in fact a female half, & she's not having her arm twisted by the male half to be in the Lifestyle. A rule that has served us well to not waste time with fakes & wannabees. We've never been stood up. Never had an issue with a stalker either. It's not hard to block someone who may turn out to be one.

I have no problems with exchanging a few emails but I do not wish to go on an endless email chant. I normally make initial contact the male half a my wife sees and Views all then if she agrees and likes what she sees and reads then we send out my phone number via text can happen I look at it as if someone's willing to exchange phone numbers and voice verify then they're not wasting time we've run into this so many times it is frustrating. But on the flipside I've gotten some really good Insight on why some people don't I guess everyone's different but I never give out my wife's phone number or private information there are too many wackos hiding behind fake profiles it's a shame we live in such a great lifestyle and so many people want to play games in it just my two cents

We like it to start on sls, then email, then if we are all on the same page, I'll give them my Google voice number so we can all talk. No chance I'd give out my actual cell number. We have had a stalker and that isn't going to happen again

We have used kik quite a bit, but this summer we started getting way too many spam messages.
Kik is great for coordinating group activities.

We use kik most of the time. Like I have said. We don't care about the phone number thing but most other people do so they want to use kik. That's cool with us.

Normally, we don’t exchange number unless a meeting is imminent. I don’t give out my wife’s number, except in very rare circumstances. If someone gave us their number after two email, I would let them know that I am comfortable continuing to use the web site for communication.

We don’t usually (99.997%) give out our number until a rapport is established. We even tell that too, if they send their number. We shelve it and let them know it’s been shelved. If they don’t want to use Kik or another means to meet too fucking bad.

In the blocked person’s case, the number sender probably thought they were fake, but if someone doesn’t have the patience to wait, they aren’t for us anyway, as we lead very different schedules daily.

~Allen

We USED to give out our # IF we were planning to meet someone. Although we never had any issues, we decided to use KIK.

It has become painfully obvious to us that our LS and vanilla circles are starting to collide. The last thing we need is our kids finding out. Well, maybe that would make it easier for us. The Mrs can leave the house bare-nippled :)