Some single males are gross

I am a single male and it is difficult to write about me. I have in the past asked to chat to get a feel of what others think of me. There are not many single women in my area that are into this lifestyle. When making friends with couples I send a photo and I do not hear back from them. Am I this gross. I do not post my photo on this site for one I have not taken a photo of myself that I even like. So all I do is try and make friends to chat with to improve my communication skills. If anyone would like to chat about anything contact me.

@Mayhem-it was a couple of single guys and not a couple.

We started off playing with single men in the beginning, but then started playing with couples. Hubby decided he really wanted to see me with another single guy. Didn't think it would be this difficult.

@NL - If I read that right, it was a couple and not an SM that was pushy. If that's the case, closing your profile to SMs won't stop that.

I think that you may have hit on one of the biggest things that makes people successful, or not. If people get to play on a regular basis, there isn't as much of a need to be pushy because you know that you're going to play again soon. This lets one just kick back and enjoy good conversation and get to know someone. That in turns makes people want to have sex with them, because they feel relaxed and comfortable, and that it's not just about the sex. That means that same couple has all the less reason to feel pushy the next time they meet someone new. A nice cycle to be in.

If someone shoots themselves in the foot and ruins their chances, they don't get to play often. At their next opportunity they may try harder, and then they are again perceived as either pushy or desperate, so continue to shoot themselves in the foot. Obviously not a good cycle to be in, but then they may not even realize they're doing it or can help doing it, so the cycle continues.

The problem is that many single guys are approaching life style hungry. Which is a immediate turn off for most folk. When I approach a couple or lady I make sure my stomach is full before approaching them. Meaning I don't act like I never had sex before. I stay cool, calm and collected. Remember in the old days when your buddy would tell you to pop the whistle before you went out on a regular date. He told you that to help keep you calm with the girl on the date. Well single guys need to use that same philosophy in the life style. If they do they will get a hell of a lot more attention.

NaturalLovers2013 if you can stand to weed through the briars you might just find a tasty berry LOL. Honestly the impatience is what kills a lot of "good" candidates. It's like they do not understand we have a life that simply does not involve her spreading her legs and taking it all the time. I even had to laugh at our good single male friend the last time we got together. He was saying how nice she looks and how lucky I was to see that every day. I had to tell him I pretty much only see her dressed like that when we go out for fun. Normally it is "mom" shorts or jeans when out or a long oversized T-shirt when at home until the "mom" stuff gets put on. Yeah I do get to see her wrapped in a towel and might get a glimpse of her naked before the shirt gets pulled on but it's not like she wears that skin tight dress or runs around naked with our adult daughter at home all the time.

We have recently opened our profile up to single males in order to find a single to join us. Got a lot of messages that were a no for me, but got a couple that looked really promising. Well written messages and profiles, nice pictures, so we began talking. Both of them immediately became pushy about meeting, seeing more pics, etc. I'm thinking if they are this pushy and aggressive with chatting, then how pushy will they be in the bedroom? Really makes me want to close our profile to single men again. Sigh...

In my experience the written word leaves a great deal to interpretation. In fiction, the emotional state of a character is described and, therefore, you know where they are coming from. When writing to a perfect stranger in hopes of facilitating a meeting one may think they are being witty and humorous when, in ironically, the reader interprets ones playfulness as rude or crass.

I believe, in some cases where someones's prose is a little weak, it may boils down to personal descriptions and photos.

I know there are single males out there that don't know how conduct themselves in the life style. But as a mature single male I seem to do very well on SLS.
I do a lot better with the single ladies then couples these days. I understand its a mental thing with the ladies and I approach them in fashion.

At least it ain't viciouspooperjammer. I think that guy was a gross pervert.

We agree... your screen name is going to severely limit your chances of success with most couples.

Just a guess, but not having a default profile pic (so you initially appear as a blue gumby) together with choosing "Pervert" as an online name probably isn't helping. On top of that, the one pic you do have is of you naked rather than something more classy, and all of this may have something to do with your lack of responses. Just saying.

FWIW - Your point was taken that Yes, there are gross couples and SFs as well and it does go both ways.

I'm a single male and I reply to couples IF they want a single and I am with in their age range with the same interests. 4 weeks ago I answered 3 profiles
from couples. I write nice messages, correct spelling and grammar (that's just my thing) include a picture. Does anyone care to hear how many replies I got?
Exactly 0. I would at least ask for the courtesy of a reply even if it's just to say no thanks, or fuck off. Some couples are pretty gross too, it goes both ways. I have gone to houses that were totally pigstys, and if your house is gross and filthy, what does that say about your body? A little courtesy goes a long way on both sides.

People can block SMs with their preference settings. For us, we do have SM friends so don't want to do that, but aside from occasional messages from some, it's not like we're inundated by them and can choose to just ignore them or give a quick "Not interested" or "Go away you fucker!!!" ;-)

From their perspective, they have nothing to lose by reaching out. Even if their chance of success is less than 1%, that's still higher than 0%. People play the lottery too even though the odds are extremely high ;-)

Why do single males feel it is necessary for us to give them a reason why we don't feel we are a good match? If you contact us, and all you have in your pics is a faceless bathroom selfie showing your big belly, then we are not a match.

We mentioned 3 times!!!! on our profile for single men not to contact us that we would contact them...which we on occasion actually do. But a few still contact us which shows us they have ZERO regard or respect for our boundries at that point you lost any chance that others still have.

Is there a standard template we need to use? It wasn't distributed when we signed up!

Like so many others, we kinda do us, let you do you, and sometimes get called out for coloring outside the lines.

you are right. he should have said hello you 99 year old non interracial cpl.

RE: Willy, your profile and comment come across as being wrapped a little tight for a southern couple, a few more pics would be helpfull as well...

here another single ass to lazy to read profile and his message was. hello

Holly B we second that!

Our SLS single males are classy, have a well written profile and show a nice smile . Someone who looks like fun by their photos and profile! Yes "our" single guys get it!

Those who place no time, effort or anything into their profile...are usually the same in bed and boring when we meet.

Mature, you have discovered what many sm's just don't want to accept: most couples don't have interest in sm's. There are sm friendly events at clubs and some hotel parties. You just have to put a little more effort into finding them. When it comes to online connections you need to beef up your profile. Open a thread in the better profiles section. Pictures are huge and you really only have one to look at. Default gallery has to be amazing and the only thing I learned from your default pic is you don't iron your pants. The competition is fierce online and you are looking for a super small group of available couples. You need to do the best you can with your profile.

Any suggestions on the best way for a single/divorced guy to get a couples attention that are looking for MFM PLAY? Many of the private parties don’t openly allow single males. The ones that do that I have been to based on the conduct of many of those single males makes it clear why their attendance is discouraged.

It’s reply’s like that make it difficult for all of the other single guys that are just looking to have a good time no matter what level of play it gets to if any.

I see some gross women out there, I try to show them how to dress and do their makeup....not sure if they are changing their ways.....I could show them how to suck cock if they ask nicely...Mary Jo

Just going for funny, not gross.

BT