Krazy Truth about Swinging #276 Sex Flash Mob

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth About Swinging. I'm the host with the most, I'm Cole, and I'm here with the lovely, lovely, and probably mostly awake today, Ms. Amanda. Hey. We're here to tantalate and titillate and otherwise just aggravate. It's what we do. I feel like an excess song coming out. You should. I have signs made. I need to hold that slow. This is Season 6, Episode 276. Yeah, I did remember. Look at me go. Wow. What's with the white sunglasses? All of a sudden I look over and I'm like. I go with my white shirt. Good day. Welcome to day 12. Anywho. Hey, we got all kinds of kids on tonight. Don't forget, we do this live in front of our secret, secret Facebook page, KazBank. Shh, don't tell the others. So you'll hear us say names and faces and whatnot, so make sure you say hi to them when you send them emails and all the fun stuff that you do throughout the week. Also, don't tell the others you must have forgot a line or did you i don't listen to myself imagine that i count on the dogs for that uh so a quick shout out to um people what do we do yeah people think sponsors we've got them i'm just as surprised as you are uh anyways you know what if you want a top quality sex toy one that'll just pound you silly and you can count on it never to die never to stop running that'd be motor bunny We'll be right back. are uh anyways you know what if you want a top quality sex toy one that'll just pound you silly and you can count on it never to die never to stop running that'd be motor bunny the name you can trust for orgasms you can count on motorbunny.com make sure that you go there today and get your 50 gift card off whether it be the motorbunny original or the brand new buck you still gotta ride one of those things by the way uh also hey if you want to know what's going on in the swinging world as well as the adult world you know where you go do you i do how about you go to asm lifestyle magazine.com that's exactly where i would go because you and three million of your closest friends why three million readers can't be wrong stay on top of what's going on in the world around you and hey you know? Are you hungry from listening to all these great this part of the show? I'm sure you are. I am. What? Would you like some meat in your mouth? I bet you would. Wow, sniff your hands. Neat. That's weird. Anyways, meat in your mouth. That's right. She puts her hand out. I imagine that. You know what? Don't put ordinary blah meat in your mouth. Make sure that you get some meat rub from our good friends at SmokinMeatsBBQTreats.com. How do you spell that, Cole? I'll tell you. S-M-O-K-I-N-M-E-A-T-S-B-B-Q-T-R-E-A-T-S.com. You can get one of their six delicious flavors. Or hell, go nutty and get all six of them. What are those flavors? Let me tell you. Hickory Dust, Lemon Pepper, SBGbg orange mango say it with me kids habanero uh pineapple paradise and the brand new sin a q anyways make spice your meat up today rub it the right way smoking meat bbq treats and finally safety you know what there's a lot of things you want when you go to an event dick pussy drunk fun good times but i'll bet getting fucking roofied isn't one of them sure isn't now you don't have to worry about it if you go to my cup condoms that's right we're proud to team up and they are the exclusive sponsors of our safe tables as uh we believe in not letting you become a statistic one in four people get roofied don't let that be a problem anymore mycupcondom.com and if you go to mycupcondom.com backslash discount backslash casbah 10 discount you can get a great deal in your my cup condom and if you have a bar restaurant or other you do events that you might want to offer your patrons that safety let us know we can help you out with that as well all There we go. By the way, I forgot to say, if you go to SmokinMeetsBBQTreats.com, CASBA 15, get 15% off your order. Do it today. Rub your meat. Rub. And in the comment section, put Go Nebraska, because they're huge Michigan fans. Anyways. So let's go ahead with what you were uh you weren't about work 60 year old fucking young kids whatever what was that how are you gonna do that again banging the kid almost a year older than your kid what yeah no did i miss all that part jizz on the desk have you broken your new chair yet no your previous chair had jizz on it i did it was mine my jizz no i haven't done that yet i have to be alone you don't have to be it just it's only somebody else watching shut up i'm not done yet that'd be the awkward part what are you doing shut up what does it look like i'm doing i'm jacking off hello so we know that it's not really my job description, but I kind of am like the backup for covering the switchboard lady, right? No, it is. Because her hires seem to not come. They don't follow through. They call in a lot. Anyway, so today I cover her lunch, or her break. She goes on a little walk, and then comes back, you comes back you know whatever so she goes you know where the waiting room is and there's that computer area and I said yeah did you know there's a door on the on the inside of that no no I didn't besides the fact that I gave somebody a blow job in there but no no I didn't I didn't. I've been here for 20 years, and I never knew that room was there.
Speaker2: I did.
Speaker1: Luckily, Amanda will be offering tours at her place of work for the other employees. Because I guarantee you, if you put a quiz out there, if I went to the Christmas party, which will never fucking happen. if i went to the christmas party and said stood up and go a raise of hands of how many people in this room can tell me there's a nursing room at the dealership there'd be like two like your hand and one of the cleaning people no one else even knows there's been some that have used it okay so there's a few but still we're talking less than two percent of the population of You came out by a hiding place. I know. So if you ever go there and you can't find her, go check the nursing room.
Speaker3: She said, there's so many nooks and crannies in this place. There's just a room here and a room there, and you just never knew that existed.
Speaker1: It was designed by a car salesman. Trust me, we understood the value of places. Where else are we going to drink and do your blow, let alone the hookers?
Speaker3: So I'm like...
Speaker1: Oh, God.
Speaker3: The door was open.
Speaker1: We're off the rail. We're not even like 10 minutes into this thing, we're off the rail. Are we even on a rail? No, I don't even know if we started on one for sure.
Speaker3: I was just telling a story of what happened to me at work today. Because in my mind, I'm laughing, going, Oh, my God, I gave so-and-so a blowjob in there.
Speaker1: Are you sure in your mind you weren't going, oh!
Speaker4: No.
Speaker3: But I'm like, I gave so-and-so a blowjob in that room. Yeah, I knew it was there.
Speaker1: And it wasn't me.
Speaker3: Now, granted, when I first went down there to meet the guy, he's like, well, we can go in there. And I'm like, there's a door there. Oh, we can't.
Speaker1: So I didn't know it existed until the blood job thing. Until the sexual need arose. See, it's kind of like Hogwarts. The room that just appears when you need it to. There's just magic doors that will just magically open. When there's a need, voila, there's a door.
Speaker4: And in you go.
Speaker3: A magic door.
Speaker4: A magic door.
Speaker2: Watch for the magic door.
Speaker3: See what happens.
Speaker1: Have your wand out and at the ready at all times. Thank you very much. You'll be here all day. Yeah, you know. What do you do? Apparently, you get on your knees and go, clunk. No, that floor was nasty squat. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, because obviously the cleaning crew doesn't know where it's at. You should have went out and told somebody. You could have been at a good employment. You know, that room back there is gross as hell. No, it's a maintenance room. By the way, there's a dribble spot over there. It's a maintenance room. No, I made sure there wasn't any dribbles because there was nothing else to do with it. You had a gumsicle. Kind of. A room of fucking equipment. That's awesome. Yeah. That's why we've got to own a dealership. Then you can just do whatever you want to. It's training day in the shop, kids. Here's an interesting tidbit. You want to know something I've learned today? What's that? Finding a place to fucking print shit Is a motherfucking pain in the ass Sweet mother of Christ Un-fucking-believable Apparently in Europe you can print all kinds of shit Because that's where a lot of them are going to print it But oh my god If you're going to show a tit or a cooter and it's going on print, God save you because there's not a... Instantly, every place becomes holier than fucking thou about wanting to print that. It's the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. Beyond stupid. You have a business. You decided to go into business and you went, you know what? What should I do to make money and feed my family and support myself? I think I like to print things. I'm going to go into the printing business. I'm going to help people make copies and print stuff and calendars and business cards and all kinds of cool stuff. I'm going to print their logos on them and make them happy and I'm going to make money. Sweet'm gonna be a fucking prick about it and be like well i don't know i don't agree with that i don't like that color well if you don't like fucking rainbows you're gonna change the color i'm sorry i don't like yellow so all the yellows are out what what in the book tell me how you really feel Yeah, we're loving him. Kazma needs to start a fucking print room. Anyways, next on the list of priorities. Great news. What do you mean we have enough stuff? You're busy finding rooms. Your job is tour guide. You need to go to buildings, random buildings. Like, hi, I'm here to inspect the building. And we can just publish a guide. I mean, print of course but publish a guide of room of secret building everybody who's listening needs to go find this a secret room in their their building tomorrow if you're listening you need to go don't tell anybody what it's for you don't have to use it for sex but just in case that need arises that you know that secret spot you need to go to and i mean if you find a bunch of people playing the same room well now it's an orgy that's sure a lot of people go to the same spot at lunch that's weird who'd have thought it all right uh we probably should do something that's intelligent and crazy and wild and educational or something so shannon doesn't count hotels do not count because you have all kinds of rooms but i would be walking out going housekeeping i've been saying that all the time housekeeping wait a minute jessica don't you work from home just saying i don't have secret rooms because i work from home and as god is my witness i can no more get a secret away from the dogs and kids and everything than save my life i gotta i got a better chance to come up to your work and go into one of those secret rooms who'd probably have the, you know. Sweet. Everybody's like Hogwarts. We all should go to Harry Potter. There you go. What do you want to talk about today? What do you want to talk about that can help somebody? Make somebody smarter, better, brighter. Laugh, giggle, cry. I don't know. Yeah, Angela's also working at home. Those that work at home, you know why we find secret rooms? We don't do it for sex. We just do it to hide. Get away from everybody. Hey, there's a crawl space. Maybe we don't move. I've learned to take naps in the weirdest position, like standing up in a closet so no one knows where I'm at. I don't do that. As far as you need to know. Just saying.
Speaker3: And you're only hiding from yourself because there's nobody else around.
Speaker1: No, there's always other people around. The thing is that I can't go upstairs to our attic because I don't want to run into raccoons or whatever the hell is up there. They've got to try to trap, so I'm not going to do that. So it's just, you know. It's just, I get a hound that sniffs me. Alright, so what do you want to talk about? What do you want to talk about? Talk.
Speaker3: I don't know. I told my story.
Speaker4: That you
Speaker1: shot your wad already? We're 12 minutes in. It's going to be the shortest
Speaker3: crazy episode. I had something to say and I wanted
Speaker1: to fucking say it. And you did and that was awesome. Awesome. Good. Oh, good goodness. All right. Well, I suppose I should delve into my bag of tricks. I don't have any tricks, and I don't know anybody named tricks. But I'm kind of hungry, so silly rabbit. Tricks are pretty cool. Anyways, I don't know. Here, I got one for you. How'd your play date go this week? Fuck off. We have a safe. I haven't had one. He was supposed to have one, but she couldn't make it. We have a safe care room at work. Don't think my employer thought of all the uses. See? Wow, that's actually smart. You know what that is? That's employee of the month stuff right there. Because, look, when you build a building, you want to utilize every square foot of that building. It needs to be doing something. If you find a room that you can have can have sex in that's great for morale the only thing it's not it's not finding the room it's when you're done coming out and seeing if anybody's gonna see you well okay so just because you have to like use a mirror and sneak out and you got to do it in like shifts and stuff like that that makes a little a little odd yeah i mean and act natural you know and coming out like you've just been, like, you know, run a half marathon or something weird. Coming out, your hair's all disabled, your shirt's all fucking ski-jawed and stuff. That would be bad, but, you know, just saying.
Speaker3: Is that what sex sessions are like for you?
Speaker4: I don't know.
Speaker1: I've never, I don't fuck at work.
Speaker3: Yeah, you do.
Speaker1: Oh, here doesn't count. That's having vendors over and it's totally different. Yeah, that didn't go that didn't even happen that just hang a sock on the door sock and a hanger here we go yeah no um yeah no i i haven't i haven't done anything anywhere for like ever oh i've been like i think i'm a monk i don't even know Well you were supposed to I was Well you know See I only got secret access to the roof The problem is I wouldn't be able to have sex on the roof Because I'm terrified of heights I could as long as I wasn't by the edge
Speaker3: We don't Only one person has the key to that
Speaker1: Who's that?
Speaker4: HR
Speaker1: I was going to say If this is a GM Then you need to ask to see it That would be a great opportunity Just saying That's how we get a new car note Thank you. HR. I was going to say, if this is a GM, then you need to ask to see it. That would be a great opportunity. Just saying. That's how we get a new car note. That's how you get a raise, pumpkin. Just saying. You just climbed the successful ladder or the stairs to the roof with no underwear on. Either one. You all right there? I got to chill. Are you excited? Are you good? I'm. Okay, I'm just checking. Yeah, when you get a chill and it makes you just... No, I'm fat and I don't get chills. Even being fat, you get them. No, I really don't anymore. I get weird hot flashes. Sometimes I get a really bad craving for chocolate. That's happened to me. It's kind of making me like, oh. But other than that, it's pretty much just spasmatic dog. Look, my world is consumed with a spasmatic dog, right? A spasmatic dog and, like, just. My nose itches. What the hell are you doing? Something's tickling my nose. Well, then, kids, this is why we don't do coke in here in the studio. Just saying. See? Jessica gets those. Everybody gets them. I don't get anything. You get chills where you shake and you go, okay. It's not like you're cold. And it's not. It's just. I don't know. Maybe it's your whole body having a spasm a little quick and then it's over. For me, I'm usually stroking out. Sometimes you get goosebumps. I'm stroking out with what's going on. Okay. Having sex at a concert on the roof would be pretty cool. I'm not going to lie. I'd probably would be fun that could be a lot of fun that'd be a lot of fun you couldn't have sex on a roof even if you were like not close to the edge i could if i was not close to the edge all right this show that's where we're going so just now start yelling out your favorite sex places that's where we're going i want to because i have a plane is fun but the rhythm can be kind of hard i know it well it can be hard it's only if you got multiple people on there it's you you kind of need if you're going to have sex on a trampoline you kind of need to do like the rowing thing everybody somebody needs to take the lead and go stroke because otherwise then you get everybody bouncing all weird and stuff because let's face it no two people are the exact same size weight speed of thrusting, whatever. And so then you get like bouncing all weird and stuff. Because let's face it, no two people are the exact same size, weight, speed of thrusting, whatever. And so then you get like 13 people on there bouncing different. Now it's just, it'd be like trying to have sex if you're a kernel of popcorn and a popcorn popper. You're just trying to stick it and catch it. That's how penises get broke, I'm telling you.
Speaker3: Merry-go-round.
Speaker1: I would throw up on you, but it'd be all right.
Speaker3: I'm just saying. I mean, I would, but I'm willing to give it a try. I wouldn't want a blowjob on a merry-go-round. Outside. Just because you would be like, I'm falling out. Hey, Becky. Sex going down the interstate is fun. Wait, in a car or outside of a car? Just saying. Or who's driving and who's not.
Speaker4: If someone else would drive and you could fuck in the back of a pickup, that'd be fun as hell. I don't know about in the back of a pickup, but in the back seat of a car I would. I like the wind. I know you do. You're like a dog.
Speaker1: Yeah, so I could have my head out the window and my dick in a pussy. What more could a man ask for? Probably Skittles.
Speaker3: He's weird.
Speaker1: Or M&M's. What do those have to do with riding in a car and fucking I could have my head out the window Straws for M&M's and getting fucked at the same time That seems like probably a pretty perfect world in my world I'm really hungry I'm really kind of I mean hitting a bounce would be weird You're small enough That you hit a bounce if you were riding back. Oh, catch her. Safety harnesses, bubble wrap, that kind of stuff. I know there's people. We live in the Midwest, so obviously we know people in the car where someone else is driving. No guts, no glory. You know, one time you were giving me Roadhead. I know you remember this, but they don't know it because they weren't there, which is weird. We were driving in the middle of the night going through Arkansas, which is probably a great place to go anyways. And I had big old long hair, but it was way prettier. We were young. We were young. You were giving me a blowjob. Someone's like, give me some roadhead. Yeah, well, that was one of the best parts of vacation. It's like Folgers, but in your pants. So it sucked my dick. And in the middle of the night, I managed to hit the horn. And so, luckily, there was an Arkansas State Patrol, a fine officer of the law doing his job, who saw that as a potential might. Maybe I was in distress. And so, at 3 in the morning, we'd been driving all night, and my dick's out, and now there's cherries. We were in a flippin' mini thing Yeah, yeah Yep Everything alright, sure, sure is So you're trying to act naturally, you're putting your dick away Everything alright, sure is
Speaker3: Put a car in the middle of a cornfield Multiple times, obviously they liked it
Speaker1: Yeah, I did that, but my car got stuck And I had to walk to the farmhouse And knew my dad to pull me out Well, we were in the backseat of the car But it got stuck and it was raining Bad situation Thank you. Yeah, I did that, but my car got stuck and I had to walk to the farmhouse and knew my dad to pull me out. Well, we were in the backseat of the car, but it got stuck and it was raining. It was a bad situation. Same field that the guy had pulled my dad out of like 30 years earlier. Anyway, it's a totally different story. Yeah, so, are you all right, son? Is everything okay? Not now because I didn't come because you pulled me over. So, yeah, I don't think we finished. No, we were pretty much laughing after that. Yeah, yeah. It's hard to get, like, re-peaning. I know, we need to keep going. Okay, see, had sex in a tractor while feeding cattle. So, see, Larry was an exhibitionist early on. That does not surprise me. He was fucking to the sound, the soothing, subtle sounds of mmmm. Now, here's the thing. For those of you not in the Midwest, just so you know, the sound of a cow chewing cud, which they always have cud in their mouth, the sound of a cow chewing cud and licking their nostrils because their tongues can do that, is the same sound of having sex with a girl that's really wet.
Speaker4: Thank you. cow chewing cud and licking their nostrils because their tongues can do that it's the same sound of having sex with a girl that's really wet there's one to grow on there's one for you city slickers so now now the next time you're you're not i mean not that i mean that remember they're chewing not you know so you got to do it slow you just got to get the squish sound going so the next time that if you're listening to this next time you have sex right it's really wet do it slow and hear my voice go the sound of cows chewing cut if you moan a little bit when you do it you'll start laughing and you'll not be able to have sex because you'll think of a cow chewing cud. Thank you. These are the reasons why we have sponsors. Just saying. Wow. It's true though. Look, I'm just trying to help people. What we do is we bridge a cultural divide because we've got lots of friends on the coast. We have people that listen coast to coast. And the coast doesn't totally understand the way things are out here we can all in the midwest go rock on having sex on a tractor right the feeding the cows part that's just an added bonus on top of it like that that just is an enhancer on top of it so you have the subtle sound of the cow what's that country song something about going for a ride on the big green tractor it can go slow we can go slower we can go faster or something something sure whatever whatever you want to be uh people want to fucking combines look they're most combines are nicer than our house so i mean i mean really you don't bet of a pickupfields, haystacks, state parks. See, and I like all that. The problem is I have allergies. So, if we start fucking too long, pretty soon, this is going to be part of what is going to be in store for you. I would encourage girls to be on top if you take me out to do this. That's going to be happening. That was me imitating the steez and the spittle that will come with it. So the thing is that because my allergies are going to kick in, something horrible. And, I mean, you know, snot bubbles when you're like three is cute. And everybody goes, oh, yeah. No, he starts, I can't breathe. And it sits up. Well, I start coughing because I start swallowing. I start drowning in my own goobs.
Speaker3: Tractors now have auto steer.
Speaker4: Oh, I want to ride a tractor.
Speaker1: I just like tractors, so I'm already hooked.
Speaker4: See, I would have a hard-on because I would love to. If I could go drive around a tractor all day long, I mean, for no set purpose,
Speaker3: just to drive around a tractor, I'm in.
Speaker4: After this one, you go buy a lottery ticket so you can buy your farm in your tractor. You want to know, if you go right now on my Facebook marketplace, there's a shit ton of tractors because I've been looking at tractors nonstop. Seriously. And where are you going to put that? Trust me, this is what I say to myself every fucking day as I'm looking at them. 1952 Oliver, 1956 Oliver, 1955 John Deere. Yes. If someone has a form I can, you know, then that would be awesome. See, sex on a beach is overrated. Yeah, I can see that. Did you make a pearl? I wasn't prepared. I wasn't prepared to have sex on a beach I just happened to imagine that How do you have to be prepared for that? A blanket would be good Because you're going to get sand in all kinds of places Did you make a pearl? Pretty much Did you save the pearl? Did you make a whole necklace pearl? That whole pearl necklace? You could have given them that very good. You are so fucked in the head. Why?
Speaker1: No, that's how it works. Lips close. Agitation. Goob up. Pearl.
Speaker4: No, it's funny. What? Well, it's not funny, but it's funny.
Speaker1: But it's not funny. He's the other guy that I know that's had testicular cancer.
Speaker4: See? You know what happens? You got a thing for that know that's had testicular cancer. See?
Speaker1: You know what happens?
Speaker4: You got a thing for that.
Speaker1: That's now a kink.
Speaker4: You sick fuck. Not really.
Speaker1: He had both nuts when I fucked. Well, I did too.
Speaker4: Uh-huh.
Speaker3: So now you need to go back and do it again and see if it's what's happened. I don't remember his name.
Speaker1: Beach boy.
Speaker3: It was under one, you know, the floaty boats with the sail thing. We had it underneath that so we didn't get busted by the police patrol.
Speaker1: I'm sure.
Speaker4: Hey.
Speaker3: It was at night. You know how much activity there is on the beach at night.
Speaker1: If you should have walked up for that. It just made a dolphin sound. And they're like, oh, look, the dolphins are out.
Speaker3: See, that's what you do. They don't come that close.
Speaker1: Never mind. Or just go. And they thought it was like a whale sound. See, if we have sex on the beach, I'm going to do that when I come. Oh, stop it.
Speaker4: What?
Speaker1: Be like the blowhole. Wait a minute. But, okay, so the problem, here's the problem I have with that. So, this is in the Gulf Coast, right? Where you're from. Right. That beach smells nasty as fuck. Yeah. You get used to it when you live there. You smell it all the time. There are so many jokes that are so fucking wrong. Horribly wrong that I want to make right now. And I am not going to do it. Just, just saying. Ooh, a catamaran. I'd be afraid to fall in. Sex not uncommon on the farm. Had sex riding a horse bareback. No. I had sex riding a horse bareback. Okay. Okay, beach was okay, ocean better. Now, and I could see where that would be the case. You would really want to watch out for jellyfish. In case of an emergency, could you use a jellyfish as a condom? Oh my god, no. It's clear, it'd sting a little bit. It would be like the warm, the tingly ones. It would knock over sensation. I'm going forever, but I got birds. Not all of them sting. No, but it's a gooey little bag you can wrap it on. Hey, next week we won't have any sponsors to talk about on this show. That are you doing? Raising jellyfish, no reason. See, my thing. I got nothing. God. Absolutely nothing. Okay, wait a minute. Hose better for fire truck. Rock on. Wait a minute. Was it intimidating having sex on the hose bed of a fire truck? I mean, a lot of guys have issues. That'd be pretty cool. A lot of guys have issues. Their hose isn't the biggest hose. Thank you. I'll be here all week. Yes. Yes. Okay, wait a minute. All right, we'll um, we're way out here, uh, that just, oh, on, it wasn't done, oh, lord, apparently, you married him, yeah, Cole has gone off the rails, you think? No, no, I'm good, perfectly, totally, I mean, these are just things that I think about. I know, see, because, well, there's some, your brain goes a little nutty, there some things people talk about It was a large So it had girth A girthy hose No no no no Don't use the blindfold That's not me The thing is The mud and't, I don't, I couldn't fuck in the mud. I mean, I could, but I would, I would, I couldn't help but make jokes. See, this is the problem with most unusual places. Well, where's the most unusual place for you? I don't know. It doesn't matter. I know you fucked in the back of a car a lot. Yeah, I did, but that doesn't matter. Nobody cares about that. But I'm just saying, think the...
Speaker3: You got your dick sucked in a foam booth.
Speaker4: Thank you.
Speaker1: Yeah, I did.
Speaker4: Yes, I did. Stop it. You're trying to...
Speaker3: I mean, we're awfully vanilla. Yes, I'm trying to keep you more on point. That's the point.
Speaker4: Nah.
Speaker1: It's stuck.
Speaker3: Oh my God, 30 years.
Speaker1: If I get on the back of a horse, I would be like, I wouldn't help but be able to say, giddy up. I just, I would at some point in time say, nay for me. Or when I was doing it, I'd be like, no. I just couldn't help. Okay, how do you explain getting peed on because you used a jellyfish for a condom? You know what? Don't knock a golden shower if it stops the burning. War equals grave in Sioux City. Oh, man. You are one ballsy girl right there. Gosh, I feel awfully plain. We got to go do something. No shit. Well, no, because, wait a minute. Last time I was under the balloon drop and a New Year's Eve party at O'Roccon. No more cheeseburgers for you. Okay, wait a minute. Did we ever fuck around at Arby's? We didn't, did we? I was always in the drunk. I probably wanted to, you never would. You always came in drunk. No, but you wouldn't, you would all know. You were always like, no, no. We fucked out, we fucked outside of our house a couple times. Well, yeah, one time in the rain. So I wanted to fuck in the rain. There was one time we got a car and you go, well, we at least have to break it in and go fuck in it. Yeah, we did. Yeah, we did. We did. We suck at this.
Speaker3: I know, right? But we've always been around other people.
Speaker1: Well, I'm trying to think, where have I had sex that was any fun?
Speaker3: I mean, when we had a hot tub, we fucked in that a lot.
Speaker1: Yeah. Because I could get you in the ass, then I could get a handle out of you. Well, where have I had sex that was any fun?
Speaker3: I don't know. Where have you had sex that's any fun? Obviously, you got stuck in a cornfield.
Speaker1: Yeah. That was fun. I mean, it was part of the fun. The muck walk was not fun. But, uh, uh, what the hell? I'm going to show you a little bit of a little right now have had sex on a trampoline this is true and people are listening right yeah we yeah, we fucked on a trampoline. Look. And some of them we had sex with on the trampoline. Yeah, no doubt. That's what it sounds like. Yes. Tina goes, so a new adventure for you is what it sounds like. We must send ideas for you to try out and give us input. Yeah, look. So what you do is you give them challenges each week. This week you need to go have sex here. This week you need to go have sex here. The key, let's go through. I tried to get you to fuck me outside, but you wouldn't do it. It was under the kid's window, for Christ's sake. It has nothing to do with that part. Here's the thing. I can be quiet. The key is, no, because you were also kind of drunk tonight. You kept looking up. I'm like, you can't look up. You're going to drown like an ostrich. Like, it's raining. I'm like, go put your head down. So here's a key component of this little challenge. I'm all up for playing this game. I'm all up for the sex challenge. I'm all up to go for it. But remember, if I don't have somebody to fuck while I'm doing it, then it's just masturbation.
Speaker3: Oh, I thought I was going to end up doing it.
Speaker4: Oh, what? I'm sorry.
Speaker1: Are you too busy? Can we squeeze you in?
Speaker3: I don't know, but you might have volunteers to help you out.
Speaker4: Maybe. I don't know.
Speaker1: I don't know if anybody actually wants to have sex with me or not. Wheel of New Sex Bots. We may have to do that. We may have to board and pit it up.
Speaker4: Swing it. Yeah, the swing.
Speaker3: That swing is... I haven't been in that swing.
Speaker1: That swing is not designed for a short girl like you.
Speaker3: I sat in it once when we got a tour.
Speaker1: That swing would be perfect for me as a Santa, like, having people sing a lot because I think it's so big and stuff.
Speaker3: It's kind of twisted, but okay.
Speaker4: Now I'm... I feel really inept. Wow. Well, Mr. Adventure. I've had sex on the dirt road, had sex on the hood of a car, had sex in the rain, had sex in cornfield, had sex in mom and dad's house and mom and dad's bed, had sex in a neighbor's house after their kids went to bed and when I was babysitting them, yeah, um, the tennis courts were all stoned high, yeah, did that. Wow, the tennis courts. Um, uh, fucked outside of one of the, that's no longer one of the fraternities on campus. In the courtyard, I did that. I remember that. While Mary says girls costume of my high school, band room. Wait a minute, there you go. Band room, have you ever done, did you ever do it in your band room? Mm-mm. Did you only, when you, because you always fucked your boyfriend continuously. You were like a little, fuck your boyfriend, silly.
Speaker1: Did you guys always just fuck at his house? Or did you travel?
Speaker4: Have vagina, will travel. Nah, I was pretty much at his house.
Speaker1: Well, okay. Because his parents didn't care. And the dressing room, apparently everybody's had sex in the dressing room and likes it.
Speaker3: I have not. Have you ever jacked off in the dressing room and likes it. I have not.
Speaker1: Have you ever jacked off
Speaker3: in a dressing room? No.
Speaker1: Are we just the lamest fucking Roberts Park and Lincoln? Right, Alex? That was right by our house.
Speaker3: Oh, our old one.
Speaker1: Our old house, yeah. Oh, I had... No. No. I got a blowjob in the stairwell. Yeah. You did get that. No, we... Man. I just feel horrible now. I don't even feel like I should fucking be... I don't feel like we're qualified to do this show. Having sex in unusual places has nothing to do with you. It's not even having sex in unusual places. It's just doing something creative.
Speaker3: Creative or daring?
Speaker1: Our name is Crazy Kazma. And by the way, we do a missionary in bed. Good night by nine. I mean, what the hell are we doing?
Speaker4: Nothing.
Speaker1: Oh, bucket list for now. Dressing room. There you go. I have that. Yu-Gi-Gi-Gi-. I'm, like, no, I didn't. Never mind. So we got volunteers. We got conference room at best work. See, you're not the only one doing it at your work. And I got volunteers out there. Okay, so at work, I've done it in men's bathroom, women's bathroom, break room, conference room, switchboard room, nursing room. Ever doing a car on the showroom floor? No guts, no glories. Not where there's cameras. That's the
Speaker3: fun part. No, not when they can record it. They don't watch them
Speaker1: unless you steal shit. I mean, unless there's a stand they can't get out. Hell, the GM won't know if it's his or yours. I do that? Ah.
Speaker3: Outdoors on top of a downtown parking garage.
Speaker4: I would be in on that. God. Wow, you need to expand. Wow, no doubt. Just don't get a ticket. I can't. Yeah, no shit. In the surgery suite. There you go. Wow, you know. It would be weird if I got caught in the surgery suite if I wasn't in the hospital for anything. But where I do like nurses. Look, if there are nurses listening, I'm sure nurses can find places to take me. And when you went in for surgery, that was the last thing on your mind. Yeah, and they were touching my dick, too. That's what's really weird.
Speaker1: The last time I had surgery, they were all over my junk, and I didn't care.
Speaker4: You did, because you were hitting on the anesthesiologist, but, you know.
Speaker1: He was cute. Yeah. Excuse me, Cole's mom and dad. I'm going to go bang the anesthesiologist and get a discount on the bill. Just, just...
Speaker3: They knew by then.
Speaker4: Oh, yeah.
Speaker1: Well, yeah.
Speaker4: They knew. Driveway.
Speaker1: Yes, I have a sex in our driveway. With you.
Speaker4: Yeah.
Speaker2: I was there.
Speaker1: I feel like I got to remember. I think this thing.
Speaker4: What? Did we? When? Wow. What? Yeah. All right. Well, now I got to be adventurous What? Did we? Who? When? Wow? What? Yeah.
Speaker1: Alright, well now I've got to be adventurous. Good lord. Mm-hmm. When I'm in the hospital, I don't think... I can see Amanda. I don't think if I went and had a heart attack or something... You know, I'm trying to think something's probably going to happen. I don't think that in recovery that you would... If I were like, hey, come on, fuck me, I don't think you would. Because, I mean, I would like to hear the machines go all ape-shitty. That'd be kind of cool. Because then the nurses come running, and I'd be like, do it now.
Speaker3: Well, the only thing you've been in the hospital for is a ruptured nut, and I think that was the last thing on your mind.
Speaker1: No, because when I tried to have sex earlier than they said I could.
Speaker3: Well, that's different.
Speaker1: And it was like, that was a horrible idea.
Speaker4: So, yeah.
Speaker3: That was like two days later because you're like, I'm horny.
Speaker4: Yeah.
Speaker1: Well, yeah. Well, yeah, I was. And I thought I could handle that.
Speaker4: And I was.
Speaker3: You did for a little bit.
Speaker1: I did. And I paid dearly for it because that hurt like hell.
Speaker4: Yeah.
Speaker1: All right. So, there you go. So, now we've got to have people start sending me stuff in. Where should Cole's penis wander to?
Speaker4: Thank you. that hurt like hell yeah all right so there you go so now we got to people start sending me stuff in where where should cole's penis wander to well we'll make it i don't know if i word it that way but sure but we'll make a map we'll have some sort of board we'll have like an update we'll have people send in suggestions and we'll have updates we used to know a couple that would stop at a rest stop and have sex on the way home yes in the In the car. Yes. Well, another couple that we've met that's traveling the country, they would find different places, and every town they went to, they would find some place in that town of historic significance and have sex. We do? Yeah, they were at Exotic Woods. Oh, yeah, they would tell us all about that. Yeah, they were historic, like either a park or by a building or something. So, yeah, yeah. I just. See, somebody, when I was crazy and adventurous. We can't just stand side by side and then start fucking without people realizing what the hell we're doing because there's such a height difference. You would know what was happening. Yes, but here's part of it, too, and we have to be honest with this. When one of the two of us was in their wilder time when they were younger, me, you were not, you were like, no, erp, stop. That was Mr. Elyse. You were Mr. Elyse. Now, as we went through, you're like, want to fuck here? And I'm like, no, erp, because I've gotten the old man, like, cautious syndrome happening. and now you're like, I fuck here and i'm like no because i've gotten i've gotten the old man like cautious syndrome happening and now you're like i am reinvigorated let's screw yay and so it's we we needed to like in sync our uh because there was a time well there's time i'd be i was all over trying to fuck you wherever i could like how about now and it's And it's, yeah. Yeah, that's. Let's face it, most of the time when we travel, we weren't alone. No. So that kind of. Now we have, there is the outstanding event that will happen. And we're going to have a lot of people involved with it, I think, now. The sex on the steps of the state capitol. Yeah, yeah. Now we've got, we're up to like three couples. So that means each couple's going to be able to take one of the, because there's four set of steps around it. So each couple's going to be able to take, you know, we need one more couple and getaway drivers. Because you're going to want, you're going to want to, you're going to, and we figured out the minimum is five pumps for it to count. Right? So it's like pump yeah and well you better be hard there are no there are no time for four playing this shit before the cops come and then you got to run the thing is we want each to spin around the wouldn't you lose a boner from the time you get from one step to the next i'm thinking i'll probably gasp for air so i'm thinking i'm'm going to make one. I know me and the quality shape I'm in.
Speaker3: Do you picture me sprinting with no pants on? That thing has to be aligned with cameras.
Speaker1: It is, but I'm not. Look, you can't make the news if they don't see your face, so just saying. But I'm wearing a sundress for easy access, so that'll help on my end of it. So I'm not going to have jeans and cowboy boots and trying to run with my pants down and all that awkwardness. Not going to do it. Oh oh we do need decoys that's a good idea fake fuckers around i'm one of the fake fuckers we could actually put like in like a like a real acting thing and hire people as extras your motivation is to act like you're really having sex and keep the cops busy. I was just humping on her. I wasn't actually doing anything. I don't know, yeah. Oh yeah, a kilt, yeah, absolutely. But I already promised the sundress, so I'm kind of stuck in the sundress. It makes my breasts bigger. Old Mandy, that's me. I'll be falling, slipping, and falling. And I know how this is going to go. It's like, whoever falls is getting left behind. This is not like some, like, noble fucking pursuit of no man left behind. It's going to be like, fuck everybody for themselves, man. It is what it is. Wow, what a topic for... Flesh mob sex. Oh, my God, that would be awesome, Larry. There you go. Okay. Is this happening during the day or at night? Who fucking cares? Now it just has to happen. Oh, sweet mother. Larry, you just now made my brain go into a place that I have never been before. We have to find a way to make that happen at KWN. I have to make this happen. Like, this just became a mission from God. We have got to make Flash Mob Sex happen. Oh, my goodness. This is going to be awesome. At the Capitol or KWN? Somewhere. I don't care where. I don't know. We can organize something for KWN. Maybe at Crazy Summer Nights we can practice at KWN, and at Crazy Summer N nights we can do it in one of the towns. Hey, Bonaparte. No. Look at Arthur Pretty Billy. Uh. It's going to be awesome. No, because when a flash mob makes it, everybody gets their cameras down, everybody's recording, that's the last thing you want recorded. This is going to be awesome. I don't care. Who cares? Wear sunglasses. sunglasses wear a hat you look sexy in hats anyways wear a hat i'm just telling we'll all be in sundresses and we'll go from there everybody needs easy access it's gonna be weird when the first person walks up and goes excuse me do i know you no and just drop on you and start blowing up people are's going on? And all of a sudden there's dicks out and people are going, this is going to be awesome. I'm telling you right now, if we have, if we have, well, it kind of has to be synced. This is why we've got to practice that whole, like, sex on the trampoline thing. Stroke, you know. We'll have, the we'll have like the march of the of the from wizard boss oh way oh way oh and i'll be going back around so you gotta fucking uh yeah see this is yeah exactly no cameras allowed i don't know if there's an actual town of almost there's only one way to know for sure this seriously i don't know if there's an actual town of Amish. There's only one way to know for sure. This, seriously, I don't think... I'm sorry, okay, because we know I hate people that imitate and steal other people. Larry, I will put your name as the instigator of this. You get full credit for absolutely, like, sending me... Flashbob fucking to Crazy Bitch by Chuck Berry. Oh my god we have to do it. Oh my god this is gonna be awesome. I gotta figure out how to make this
Speaker3: happen now. Where did this show go? Larry
Speaker1: is, Larry congratulations. Welcome to the land of the elite. Y'all's minds are too much alike. This isn't, but think about this. That will make national news. That will make, you'll need to be the getaway bus, Jessica. So national news about having sex. We will win all kinds of awards and shit. What? I don't have enough money to bail him out of jail. I'm just. We blame Larry tonight. I'm telling you. I'm sorry, Larry. This. Okay, there's some things we have to work out. Because the thing with the flash mob is, remember, everybody's always like, oh, wow, a flash mob. And they kind of don't know what to do. And all of a the mob disappears so it's going to be the same thing so this is why like sundresses and kilts are going to be important because everybody's like oh and no one's going to have time to like take down names just everybody's just going to like and then scatter should do be and away we go this is how this has to work because trust me wherever we do this a shit ton of people are just going to be standing there going, what the fuck did I do? They're not even going to have time to get their cameras out. What the hell did I just see? Did I, again, somebody. The entire TV screen will have to be blurred. I mean, it's going to be, you know, they're going to be so, look, one couple starts, you, somebody starts sucking dick in the middle of a street, right? That's going to, they're not even going to see the rest of the people moving into position. All of a sudden, there's just going to be the sound of, remember that cow chewing, there's going to be this sound going all over. And there's going to be people going over benches and cars and up against fucking parking meters and whatever else. And it's going to be complete sensory overload to, like, some entirely new dimension. It is going to spin. We will have comics talking about it in their acts forever. And I'll bet you, I'll bet you we can get this shit in the guinness book of world records because look man i know one chick's gonna let to try to coordinate like i think it's like 10 000 people that have sex with one person one time there's no way to coordinate that but it's too much of pain but a flash mob i'll bet we can pull out and that should go in the gu in the gunspace. The largest sex flash mob, which would be like two anyways, because it's never been done before. So now, oh, this is going to be so fucking cool.
Speaker4: God.
Speaker1: I am just.
Speaker3: Wow, you got off on a fucking tangent about fucking Matt flash mob.
Speaker1: You want to know what? Right now, seriously, this is like one of the highlights I'll see you next time. Wow, you got off on a fucking tangent about fucking Matt Flashmob. You want to know what? Right now, seriously, this is like one of the highlights of my day. This just sent me to a place of pure happiness you can't even imagine. This is going to be so much fun. Oh, my I did not Two dozen sex swinging Sex swing swinging together In unison That'd be cool Oh See that's when people have to walk We got to have people I can finish
Speaker3: a thought.
Speaker1: Just strap on dildos everywhere. God. Give me a moment. Just let me kind of process and shift through my brain because that would just be funny as hell. Oh. No, no. What's awesome is if you do it outside the bars is the college kids, just by default, they'll just join in. Because they won't. They'll be like, well, apparently we're doing this tonight. And they'll just join straight in. And then it'll go to a whole new level. Nebraska must be a lonely, horny place I want to move in. I'm telling you. It's not that exciting. We get 50 couples to break out on a sex flash mob on O Street on a Saturday night. That crowd's going to go straight to about 200 people banging away. And then, you know, it's really funny. When the police come in, it's going to be damn easy to get away from there because the college kids will riot and all of us old people can just drift away, blend in and be like, what's going on there? I don't know. They're fucking that way, sir. And just keep right on moving. Breaking news. Massive sex mob apprehended near Nebraska capital. More to come at 10. Just college kids everywhere. Like, I don't know. I thought we were all doing it. I don't know. I think the college kids probably would be too something. I don't think they'd do it. Well, it'd be easier to break it out in the stadium during the game. Well, probably. You could easily have sex at the stadium. The thing is, yeah, but you want to make sure you break it out so when they're starting to do the wave, it's a different type of wave that just scatter around, just breaks out in the stadium. If we do this right, we can turn this into, like, before the end of football season, that flash mobs break out across college campuses, college stadiums around the country on one Saturday. Oh, my God. That would be awesome. Take that. Take that and put it in. That came from unusual places to a flash mob. Well, because, okay, to all these people that have had fuckery everywhere, unlike us, how many of you have fucked in a flash mob? I'll wait. I tell people, I am the adult Walt Disney, right? I am here to make dreams come true. And who doesn't want to be? We watch the YouTube videos of the beautiful, that neat concept that a flash mob happens. Who doesn't want to be part of something historic, something memorable, something that'll leave a legacy, something that when you're old, you can tell your grandkids. You know, when they go, I did this. Yeah, well, I was on a flash mob, a sex mob. I mean, this is the kind of stuff. Exactly. Nationwide synchronized at the same time flash mob. This is... We can be that mistake. This is us. Larry, you helped me get here. I just want you to know that's just gonna be... Does this make Amanda Mickey? It's going to make her something. Could make her single, but other than that, I don't really know. But I can tell you, whatever the fallout is, I already know that if we can pull this off, whatever sentence I might be getting before doing this, it's going to be increased because I'm getting a contempt of court. I can already tell you, I guarantee I will get a contempt of court because I will not be able to stand there and not laugh my ass off because I'm going in the joint as a hero because because I put together the biggest sex in Fly's mom, and Larry and I are going to go in together. Hopefully, we can share our song with Larry.
Speaker3: So y'all can come up with more ideas.
Speaker1: Well, you know, him and I can. We're going in as heroes, because Larry came up with the idea, and we worked right together. There's a ball swinging In the breeze Be a fuck mob At the point The flash mob begins With the fuckery By definition Then be a fuck mob We'd get two records That's awesome Somebody's going to have to hold up signs if the men are wearing sundresses it could be dubbed the largest lesbian sex mob on the news because you can identify whatever you want this would be awesome oh see this now you know it's a. People go, how do you know ideas are good?
Speaker3: And Larry's going to attest to this. Because everybody brainstorms together.
Speaker1: Right, because there's no such thing as a wrong answer in these moments. Look, you're all that are added on the page of the listener right now are part of history. You're all a part of this. None of you have plausible deniability either, just so you know. So what the thing is, is this is how you know greatness is around. I think I know what I'm going to name this episode.
Speaker3: Sex Mom?
Speaker4: What? Yeah.
Speaker1: Sex Blige Mom.
Speaker4: Yeah.
Speaker1: Absolutely.
Speaker4: All right.
Speaker1: Well, I'll be damned.
Speaker4: Look at there.
Speaker3: Where did all the time go?
Speaker1: It's hard to believe.
Speaker3: This is what I deal with.
Speaker1: Oh, man. When Cole gets on a tangent and doesn't let something go. Wow. And then it goes in 50 million different directions. And then you have to try to bring it back. And then it still goes off in a different direction. And it won't stop. And then you just give up until he runs out of ideas. In the next 30 days, I'm going to have a whole other audience to present this to you to have helpers with this. Transgender group comes together for a large social gathering. Exactly. This is, you know, yeah. This is going to be fun. All right. I think I've already got press coverage lined up for this. I know we'll make a couple magazines. I can count on it. Anyway, so there you go. Alright, well I think we should leave now. Welcome to my life. Just saying. I have a lot of work to do. This is like a Smoking the Bandit thing. Long way to go. Short time to get there. Just saying. Hey, so, hey don't forget you can sign up for Miss Amanda's Only Fan Dings here naked. That's nothing to do with the flash mob. Well, that night, you'll be one of the famous people there. Okay. We're selling to use, wear your panties, girls. We're going to have a booth setting up selling to use panties from the flash mob. This will be awesome. There you go. Okay. Sponsors, Yep. Absolutely. Motorbunny.com. Make sure you check it out. So you're warmed up before you get ready to do your sex flash mob wherever you're at. Get pounded by the best machine out there. Get your $50 gift card. Get your $50 off. Motorbunny.com. ASLifestyleMagazine.com. Three million readers can't be wrong.
Speaker4: Don't worry.
Speaker1: When you're in your sex flash mob you'll be on the cover also uh smoking meats barbecue treats yeah well you know we all need to eat before we do this and we're gonna have good meat just saying check them out s-m-o-k-i-n-m-e-a-t-s b-b-q-t-r-e-a-t-s.com a little bit. Don't forget when you get one of their awesome six flavors that you take and put Casbah 15, get a 15% discount order today. They're swingers, by the way. Just FYI. And finally, safety. Because you know what? Nobody wants to get roofied at the big flesh mom. So make sure you go to MyCupCondom.com. Maybe they do. Backslash, discount, backslash, Casbah10. In all seriousness, don't become a statistic today. Go to MyCupCondom and get that taken care of. Finally, you can follow us on Twitter, or what's formerly known as Twitter is now X, at TruthCrazy. You can follow her at MissAmandaCasbah. And you can send us emails at crazy.kazba at gmail.com. Go to our website, crazykazba.com. Tickets are still available for the Halloween party.
Speaker4: Can't wait.
Speaker1: If you haven't got yours, please, please do. And tickets are on sale for crazy winter nights. We've got people coming in from all over the country. We're already, I think, seven different states have bought tickets. So get yours at crazykazba.com. So with that being said, kids, doing it the only way We're already, I think, seven different states have bought tickets. So get yours at crazycasma.com. So with that being said, kids, doing it the only way I know how, the only way I want to, the only way I ever fucking will, in sync with all of my friends. Flashmob style. Casma style, out.
Speaker4: Bye.