Discussion topic Listen in as we chat at Desire Pearl with Jay and Nathan, an Indian couple from Edmonton, Canada, who were brought together in an arranged marriage. If you think you know what an arranged marriage is you might want to listen and learn! They discuss how it all began, the pitfalls and stereotyping they faced and what led them to try the lifestyle after over 20 years of marriage.
Transcript
This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us?
Hello everyone, I'm Mr.ones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 27 of the we got a thing podcast this is a bonus episode yes a bonus episode and for those of you who don't know a couple of times a year two or three times a year we do an extra podcast. So this is not in place of a regular podcast. And it's usually a conversation with somebody that we find or that we meet and we think is interesting and we want to. This one wasn't planned, but we just couldn't resist.
We met the greatest couple when we were at Desire last week. Yeah. And I'm glad that we got to use our recorder.
We take everywhere we go and then we we never use it i know and the way the vacation was going you know we we said we're going to definitely podcast and then monday tuesday wednesday and you know the way the week was going i thought we were just going to leave it in the safe yep and a couple of the couples that we wanted to podcast with ended up you know leaving midweek and then we just ran out of time and yeah so but we did meet an awesome couple their names are jay and nathan and they're from canada and they have the most interesting story and that's why we just couldn't resist um we had to find time to sit down and record with them and we're so glad we did Yeah.
Ironically meet and greet at naughty in new orleans we met two of our listeners who were also in the same situation yeah and they were in an arranged marriage too and we wanted to talk to them more but naughty in new orleans was so daggone crazy this year we never got the time to do that well and you would lose people and then when you would, you were, we, you know, we had a deadline, we were doing a workshop or whatever.
And, um, so yeah, we never got to sit down with the, um, the Indian couple that came to our meet and greet that had the arranged marriage story to tell us. We heard, you know, the, the overview of it, but I would have loved to have learned more about it. So when we were at Desire last week, we saw a couple, and we kind of go over this during our interview with them, but the very first day, we got there on a Saturday, and the phone party's at two o'clock.
So we're in the pool, batting around beach balls during the phone party, and I saw this couple, and they're such a striking couple. They're just both really attractive and really outgoing, and I saw them and I remembered them from when we were there last year. So I went up to them and said, I don't know if you remember me, but I definitely remember meeting you guys last year. So we, you know, just kind of acknowledge each other.
And then after the phone party, we ended up talking to them a little bit. Yeah. And a about them i think everybody in the resort knew who they were yes if you've been to pearl before there's right next to the pool there's a pathway that leads to aphrodite the restaurant and to the restrooms yeah the bathroom that's kind of important and everyone in the whole resort during the goes by that. And so they get up early and strategically they choose those first two chairs right at that intersection.
And they're very social. As you mentioned, they're very attractive and they just like meeting people. And they're just such a joyful couple and they're very pleasant. And we probably talked to them for about 45 minutes. One thing that you'll notice is we started the recording on our balcony and... Because we had an awesome room. We had a room overlooking like the hot tub in the forefront and then you could see the activity, the active side of the pool and then you could see the ocean. Right.
So we had a beautiful view on our balcony. Yeah, and when we started the recording, they had music playing in the background, which was fine, but then Marco got on the microphone a few minutes in and wouldn't shut up. So hang in there. They were playing the game, honey. Because there's two or three minutes of work, it's kind of loud, but then we decide to move inside, so the audio quality gets better once we move inside. So hang in there.
So without further ado, here are our friends Jay and Nathan and our conversation with them at Desire Pearl. So we're with our friends, Jay and Nathan at Desire Pearl. And I think we met you guys, I'm not sure how much we talked to you last year, but we definitely remember you from our trip back. I saw them during the phone party the first day we got here, and I remembered them from last year. Yes, because you have, Nathan has such a great personality, and Jay is just so strikingly beautiful.
I was going and they're both kind of sexy yeah very memorable yeah and so we've gotten got to know them really well this week and they have a really interesting story to tell and a lot of our listeners are either thinking about the lifestyle or we were interested in pearl and we just think you guys have a really cool story so we thought we would just ask you some questions so before we go any further why don't you introduce yourselves to whatever you're comfortable saying so that people get an idea of who you are and where you're from oh my name is jay my name is jano My name is Nathan, my lovely wife Jay, and we are from Edmonton, Canada.
We were born and brought up in, just as Mr. and Mrs. Jones said a few moments ago, we were born and brought up in India. We had an arranged marriage, and 22 years later, here we find ourselves in lovely Desire Pearl. Thank you.
we had an arranged marriage and 22 years later here we find ourselves in in lovely desire pearl socializing with the most wonderful group of people you could ever meet absolutely people in the lifestyle people like uh mr and mrs jones and this is our fifth visit to the fourth third okay us too yeah that's nice so how did you get from India to Canada?
We worked in the Philippines for 10 years and then after that we decided to migrate to Canada for economic or work-related reasons and it was not until 3 years ago that we had a chat about coming down to desire pearl who brought that up yeah whose idea was it Nathan's idea so he saw this on the website he suggested it so I said okay let's go and try it for one time they tried it on day one I started liking it and in fact we were planning for the second trip.
While you were here the first time you started planning for the second time back. Yeah, on the first day. On the first day. Was it difficult for you to take your top off or your bottoms off? Last time I had some issues taking off my clothes, I was there, but the people around me, they made it so comfortable. So the second time I started taking off my clothes, I'm fine, I'm comfortable now.
I must clarify though that the first time that she didn't take her tops off was nothing to do with modesty reasons. Well, nothing to do with that one. I was not comfortable removing it because I was waiting for my boobs job to be done. That's only reason. Other than that, absolutely not. Okay. So I'm sure you guys can tell that now her boobs look way more amazing than what you can probably imagine they looked like back then. The only thing I can say is that they...
It would be tragic to cover them up now. And you guys have, like, a strategic location that you always sit in your chairs. You're probably in the most popular intersection in the whole resort. And I know you probably did this intentionally. Oh, no doubt. So those of you who have been here before, right when you go down the steps into Aphrodite or to the men's room, ladies room from the pool, every single person has to go by where you sit every day.
Now is that an accident or you do that on purpose? It's an accident. It is an absolute accident, it's just that Victor and... Usually we wake up early in the morning. We will be the first person to go there. So all this people get to access. Right. Other than that, it's nothing. Okay, if you say so. Yeah. So I have to ask you, Jay, about an incident that occurred while we were playing basketball this morning. Yeah.
Because, you know, Desire, normally the people here are really great, really easygoing. And we played basketball today, and Jay was our star. She scored most of the points on the whole team. So the rule in the basketball game is that the guys are not allowed to touch the women. And the women are allowed to touch the men, and the women are allowed to touch the other women But so that's and that's the way it's always been and it's sexy fun. Yes, okay So what happened at your end of the pool?
No, what happened? She was a bit aggressive. She was pushing me a lot even though the ball was on the other side of the court I told her not to put up when the ball comes you do that when you're protecting. Right, right And have to, I'm offensin, offensin, on the other side, so I have to do it. She said, when the ball comes here, you do it. And she did it two times, and she pushed my hat, and she was so aggressive, I kept quiet.
When the ball came, it went to other guy, I just pushed him and took the ball, and she came out, and she said, you are not touching my man. So that, I could not take it. Thank you.
pushed him and took the ball and she came out and she said you are not touching my man so that i could not take it yeah and then you should get out of the pool yeah you are not supposed to be here that's right and there is nothing personal here we are all going to have fun right but you cannot take it personally you are not touching my man yeah then i said no and she even she was addressing the volleyball court yeah i was not there yeah but i saw that yeah and that's and that's because we've had the most wonderful introduction to what the lifestyle is, isn't, what it should be and what it shouldn't be.
We were so happy to meet a wonderful group of people, just like yourselves, when we came here for the first time, who gave us an introduction to what it's supposed to be and what it's not supposed to be, what you can do and what you can't do. And I'm assuming, Jay, that what you're saying is contradictory to everything that we learned on our first trip, and we've pretty much held as gospel, that you do not touch someone else without the spouse's permission, so on and so forth.
So I'm assuming that That's what probably offended Jay, that there was an assumption that she didn't know what Lifestyle 101 was all about. And I'm allowed to do that. In the water photo, I can go and grab, I can do whatever I can, just to get the ball. But she cannot say that you are not supposed to touch my men or something like that. I won't intentionally trying to touch him. I just... Well, just before the game started, the referee, Emily, said, okay, here are the rules.
And so clearly, I think, though, what happened is everyone else that was playing sensed that that couple needed to get out of the pool because they were the ones that were really having the struggle or the issue and causing the drama. Yeah, and it's the first time I'm here, and every day when I come here, I play water polo and volleyball. Yes, yeah. So it's not the first day for me.
And I think, just like yourself, although we're not as experienced as you guys are, we can kind of find out, perceive if you will, about the kind of, what's the word, help me here, dynamics between couples? Yes. Yes. Right, and what they are into and what they are not into. It's not rocket science and it's pretty obvious. Yeah, most people have a sensitivity to what's going on and if you start to feel uncomfortable, really what you should do is look around to see how other people are behaving.
And then realize, oh wait a minute, maybe I'm in over my head here if i'm having a problem with this maybe we should excuse ourselves until i figure out what's going on but but there was a little bit of a scene and then they got out and then the rest of us had a great time playing basketball then there was something that happened uh we'll talk about you go back to you guys in a minute in the hot tub the other night you know there was a very aggressive gentleman in the hot tub one afternoon and and he was just he was harmless but he was overly friendly and he was by himself his wife was taking a nap and he was just walking around touching all the women and he was introducing himself, but it was, um, it was uncomfortable.
So there were three ladies, myself, and then two other ladies were just talking and he had come up to the three of us. Well, I didn't even have to say anything because one of the other ladies, she kind of pushed him and sat him down on the center circle of the hot tub where there's a bench. And she said, let me tell you about the lifestyle. She said, first of all, where is your wife? Because you should not be in this hot tub without your wife.
And then she said, second of all, you don't touch me without asking me if it's okay first. And I mean, she just went on. She had like five things.
She had her fingers in his face yeah first of all second of all she was touching her index finger to his nose and I mean she was she was laughing and being friendly as she said it but she was serious and and he actually responded very positively to it so he apologized and got out of the hot tub yeah so overall I guess for for the resort, you rarely see things like these happen. But when something like this does happen, either the other guests jump in or there's some sort of correction.
And a lot of times it's not from security. Actually, it's more effective if it comes from another woman or another man to say, wait a minute, that's not how we treat ladies here, that's not how we, you know, roll here. So I was just very fascinated by that. For the most part, people that you meet here are the most wonderful people that you could meet. Very caring people. Very caring, very friendly people, you could have the most open conversations with about anything that you care to talk about.
But you're right, you always want to see one rogue person on every trip who hasn't gotten the memo about what is okay and what is not okay. Right. Right. I'm not sure.
How long to you guys and and as an american who doesn't who's not real worldly when i hear the term arranged marriage you know i'm thinking that you know somebody's got a gun to my head and taking me you know to the altar and i've never seen this woman before and i don't and then you pull the curtain up and you know and then you're forced to get married and then you have to go try to figure out how this is going to work and so please uh educate me on on whatever what you experienced you know that's a wonderful question that you asked um like we said we were born and brought up in India and as with anything else in India there's a lot of flavors to any particular social aspect and that not in not just include something like education or the arranged marriage so you you have different flavours of the arranged marriage.
You have one, Mr. Jones, like you just said, about being led up to the altar with a gun pointed to your head and saying that you've got to marry this woman, yep, sure that happens. But you also have the other end of the spectrum where what Jay and I like to refer to as the old fashioned version of eHarmony. When people like ourselves didn't have a chance to get introduced to each other thanks to a wonderful internet service like eHarmony. So how would it work?
It would be our parents would introduce ourselves to each other and the important thing we'd like your listeners to realise is the fact that the woman has The first right of refusal. Is that a sense that makes sense to you? A term that makes sense to you guys? Yeah. So if she said no, this marriage wouldn't have happened. But she did say yes, so we did have a marriage which is, I'm sure, very unlike the ones that you two had.
I'm sorry, so you had a choice and you said yes, but what was the period of time from when you first were introduced? I met him at the end of October and we got married in April, so we had a few months to date. Okay, so you dated for a few months, then you made the decision as to whether you wanted to... No. On the day we met each other, we liked each other, and we said I would like to marry him. And then during that time, any time I could have said no, I'm not interested. I changed my mind.
I changed, because I dealt with him, I didn't like him, I could have stopped it. So I had that option. Okay, and I can vote for the fact that what she says is absolutely true, her family wouldn't have forced this on her, neither would have my family, but we met and socialized with each other for six months and then we got married.
in a way we got married and then we fell in love yeah and here we are so I think we've done quite well for ourselves yeah well I mean isn't that true for all of us to some degree though I mean you you got married and then you fell in love well I think when you only know each other for a short period of time and you do decide to spend the rest of your lives together, as time goes on, doesn't that love deepen and deepen and deepen? Yeah, so in our case, we knew each other six months.
No, not six months, four months. Yeah, four months. Before I proposed. So it was the same timeline.
And at that point in time there was chemistry there was you know physical attraction there was hormones all of that really up front and we mistaken that for love a lot of times but then once you get into it and a year goes by and i realized all of that stuff fades away and you're you're left with the person that you're and in a way it is very similar we just call it something different but the freedoms are still there you know you had a choice to say no you had a choice to say no so this idea that an arranged marriage is something so foreign to the way that we work i love the thing about the the e-harmony because that's exactly what it sounds like you you put your name in the hat here here's my profile you have a representative and a family member that's vouching for you and and helping to bring you together and that's a really interesting so what was that time like from October to April I mean were you able to go out on dates like we think of dates yeah yeah I was like people they're like in ten minutes apart in a place so he used to come every month we go out okay and do some shopping we go for lunch or dinner but we are not allowed to have sex before marriage right okay that's what i was hinting at i just didn't want to ask it's absolutely okay if you do that yeah yeah and here's the thing and Jay correct me if I'm wrong I don't think it's accurate to say that we were not allowed to have sex it was something that I think we both decided not to do okay and therefore if we had decided to have sex, I would think it would have been fine.
So then, how do we get from there to desire? And this is a question that we ask everybody that you meet here, like in the pool, like where are you from? Are you in the lifestyle?
Who is the one that found desire how did you get here who brought this up so you've been married for 22 years you have beautiful children how many two two daughters and they are what age at 21 and 18 21 and 18 and so here you are at desire uh tell us you know like who whose idea was this how did you find out about it how did that conversation go well uh do you want to go or no you go all right i don't think she's complaining she's smiling right now So I think it was a light-hearted conversation we had on a cold Edmonton evening when it was probably 30 below zero, a glass of wine in front of the fireplace, and I said, sweetheart, You know, I love you and we Hindus believe in life after this life, there's going to be another life after this, and I'd like to marry you, and she says, ah, well, you know, I love you too, but in the next life I probably want some variety, so I'm going to get married to someone else.
And I said, well, that's a good idea, and I think I know where you're coming from, but you can do that in this life, you know that, right? You could go down to a place called Pearl. So he said, ah, tell me about it. And so we pulled out the laptop and we had a chat. So you had already discovered Desire when you this up so when you found desire did you understand the difference between clothing optional and lifestyle? We absolutely did. Okay.
And she said, well, you know what, I'll give it a shot, I'll try it once, we'll go there and see what it's all about, and if I like it, we'll go there again, and if I don't like it, we'll not. Yes, that'll be it. So I said, yeah, that's a fair proposition.
So we came here and we tried it for the first time in February of 2014 I believe it was we liked it so here we are Wow so was there any okay so how would you describe it when some when you're in the pool and people come up to you and they say you know are you in the lifestyle or how would you describe what your thing is how do you when people ask you that question how do you respond I say that It depends, I would say that, if you like it, if it's going to work for us, they say yes.
And I think, Jay, you should... If we like and if it's going to work for us, we say yes. And I think, Jay, you should correct me if I'm wrong, sometimes we wish more people would come up to us and ask us that question. There is such a thing as stereotype, and I don't fault anyone for falling prey to that trait if you will.
Everyone's got their stereotypes about a different culture, and so we have this conversation over dinner at Pearl and we say, hey, do you think perhaps that those people fell prey to the stereotype and said, oh, this couple is probably here just for the... Nudity. The nudity or the clothing optional aspect of it. Do you think they wanted to ask us if we were in the lifestyle? Do you wish they had asked you that question? So that is a factor. We both wish that more people asked us that question.
Not that we are overly worried about the fact that some people don't, but there is that aspect to that. Well, in in calgary or is that or edmonton in edmonton what is the um population and the culture of people from india or or as you said you're from iran irish you know what is it like there and how do you compare that to to? Because you still must have some sort of stereotyping going on at home, right? So how is that better or worse or different, or is it, than Pearl?
Oh, that's an excellent question. We do not visit any of the lifestyle clubs in Edmonton. Okay. been been there and I think there's nothing wrong with the lifestyle clubs in Edmonton. It's just that we believe that it's not for us.
As in any other relationship, I'm sure it's the right thing for the guy to do to give more importance to what the woman thinks and she believes that if at all we did take part in any lifestyle kind of activity it would be here at pearl okay so we've never stepped into any lifestyle club in edmonton okay um and i think And I think the most we've done is gone and met Mike and Holly when they came down for the Taboo show, and that's about it. Okay. You mean in Edmonton? Yeah, they came to Edmonton.
But you're coming here a couple times a year, it sounds like, right? We'd like to to come here more often so would you be comfortable talking about maybe without being very specific but like describe a positive encounter that you might have had with a couple here and what was that like all right I must we must start off by saying that every couple we've interacted with are the most wonderful people we've met. We've come to realize, and I'm sure Mr. and Mrs.
Jones you know this way better than we do, that this lifestyle thing is not easy. Right. Yeah. Because there's not just a one-way connection to be made, but it's got to be four ways, and there's all kinds of permutation combinations that could go wrong, and if you do not hit it off with a couple, it's not because any one person was not the most wonderful person you could meet.
I mean, we've met dozens of couples we've had to say a polite no to, and that's not because they weren't the nicest people we'd meet. We'd be delighted to have dinner with them, we'd be delighted to socialise with them, but it's difficult. So having gotten that disclaimer out of the way, we must say that we haven't had too many experiences and that's because of the old saying that I'm sure you guys have that you do not take one for the team. That's right.
And unless every person in the relationship feels comfortable, you do not do it. So we haven't had too many interactions, or we haven't had as many interactions that we'd perhaps like.
But we did have a wonderful friendship with a couple we met, I believe it was August of 2014, and the interesting thing is that we were rookies back then, and we had gotten a wonderful introduction to the rules from good people like yourself about the fact that it was okay to say no to something that you didn't quite agree to. And this couple was into the woman-on-woman interaction, and my wife wasn't, and we told them that.
And we left it at that, and the next day evening they did approach us at the disco and said, would you like to go down to the hot tub with us?
So we did and so I'm proud to say, or rather we are proud to say that we did flip a vanilla couple into what's considered a soft swap but it still is a flip and that's pretty much the but we had a wonderful time till morning 4 o'clock Wow good so then after that though how about your conversations with each other after that how about you have this idea and you talk about what this might feel like and what it might do for your relationship and how fun it might be but when you have the experience and then it's real it's not a fantasy anymore and then you get in the plane and you go back home what was your conversation like like for the next two three months we were talking about them we were talking about everything like what we did how he laughed what I did all this everything we were talking so it was it was a good experience and then you continued to talk about that and it I imagine energized your relationship oh yeah yeah it totally did yeah we call it reconnection sex after you know you have an encounter with somebody and that's always the best sex yeah and you meet a couple like that and and you can really have a good experience yeah that's fantastic so what else do we want to talk about for desire do we want to so have you always come to desire pearl or have you been to riviera maya and stayed there Here we go back there again?
Perhaps. But, you know, it's about choices and opinions perceptions which are not altogether logical so for us i think this place does it more than desire riviera maya which is i'm sure a wonderful uh place to uh right but you just went to desire riviera may, right? Yes, we did. On a day pass. On a day pass. Yes. And what was going on there yesterday? The reason we decided to go there is, like anything else in the lifestyle, it's all about variety and different options and different choices.
So we said, oh, we've met a wonderful group of people here, so let's go there and meet another wonderful group of people there. But like someone pointed out to us this morning, you go there and you don't see too many familiar faces.
And here's the thing that I think we should mention, we weren't born and brought up in North America, so sometimes we think and we feel that perhaps our social skills, though they might not be awkward, they're pretty much up to par, there's sometimes moments when we feel like we don't have the skills or the guts to walk up to a couple who we think looks great and say, hey guys, would you like to have dinner with us?
Or, you know, talk about something else for a few minutes before we come up to that question. So a lot of times we say, hey, you know what, let's wait for some other couple to come up and approach us and make the conversation. Like we did. It was like I did. I scored that dinner invitation. Yes, but I saw them and I said, we know them. We met him. When did we meet them here before? Right, and then I fought my way through the phone to go meet them.
meet them but I will just to give you some feedback and I and we watch you you know everybody here yeah everybody says he's the mayor yes everybody knows Nathan because he's got this personality and everyone knows who Jay is because she's just strikingly beautiful yes and she's very intelligent once you start to talk with her and you guys make such a dynamic couple and we we had i don't know i think other people hadn't even mentioned that to us about well there's jay you know they have such a great personality they're such a great couple so uh if you're the reason i'm telling you this is because a lot of times to your point about us having a perception Thank you.
They're such a great couple, so if you're, the reason I'm telling you this is because a lot of times, to your point about us having a perception of how socially adept we are or what other people are thinking of us, and we have this idea of what that might be, and one of the things that we like to do is that when we have the pleasure of playing with another couple, and especially at when you wake up the next morning and there they are at breakfast we like to reconnect and say okay what was your conversation like you know after we left the room and and all the time people have been willing to just share that experience because that's the reality.
What we thought they may have been thinking or experiences is oftentimes completely different. And that helps us to understand that everybody has these ideas that they're either socially awkward or that I wonder if this person was attracted to me or I wonder if I did something they didn't like. And so, you know, just to give you that feedback, you guys are just, you have that personality. Well, Mr. Jones and I are fortunate in that we live near Washington, D.C.
It's a very multicultural community. So we don't really have these perceptions of stereotypes because we interact with all types of people all day long.
But we do also understand that a lot of our listeners and a lot of people here at Pearl are from areas of the country where it's not so multicultural so it's just we really appreciate you talking to us so that people that don't have the experience of those types of multicultural interactions hear your perspective yes you're right while you do talk rightly so about people from different parts of the united states or canada where they have had the option of interacting with the multicultural society the fact remains mrs jones that we are one of the few couples you'd meet here that were born and brought up in India.
True, true. So, it does take that point of view to a completely different level. And one of the things that I think we had great fun talking about or thinking about or doing on one of those interactions with that wonderful couple we met a couple of years ago was the fact that we enjoyed taking a look at the expression on the faces of people that walked by our bed, by our bed, by the side of the hot tub.
And the next day how they interacted with us, they came voluntarily and said, hey Jay, how are you, how is it going, blah blah, artificially they came and talked to us. Thank you very much. And the next day how they interacted with us, they came voluntarily and said, hey Jay how are you, how is it going, blah blah, artificially they came and talked to us.
Right, so if I may elaborate on what she was saying, so you could tell that here was pretty much most of the resort that had said, yep, okay, these people are here, they're good that they're here to having a good time, they're probably in this for the nudity part or whatever, and I'm just imagining this stuff, but I could tell by the look on their faces when they walked past our bed and saw us playing with another couple, we could hear the sound of their jaw hitting the ground, and what reinforced that opinion was the fact that, like Jay just said a few moments ago, people that hadn't taken the pains of coming and talking to us the previous day or the day before that would come up to to us and strike up a conversation, and we're not rocket scientists, but you can tell that something had changed in the last 24 hours, their perception of what they thought we were, and nothing wrong with that.
We had a few giggles and laughed to ourselves about that. Sure.
I mean, we've had an interracial experience, and what I found really visually stimulating is the contrast in the skin colors when we were in bed with them, because I'm not used to seeing it was it was not anything that was positive or negative it was just a striking contrast okay as a middle-aged white guy you know it was just very new to me and coming out of that that's just one thing that I remember but we still I mean they're really good friends of ours and it was just something that I pulled away from the experience seeing that difference you know so what we learned is you know people are people and we've had we've had people from all over the world a couple of them email us and say like one couple was from Korea said hey could you please tell us do you know anybody else in the lifestyle that's korean they wanted to come here yeah and they were they were concerned that they wouldn't feel accepted if they came here yeah right in poli usually most of them they accept yes yes based on my experience if i may elaborate a little bit on that the first time we walked in here and we were checking in in the lobby and we looked at the lobby bar and we saw a few extremely well-dressed women.
We had a conversation amongst ourselves. Oh my God, what have we walked into? Do you think we'd be accepted here?
So a few months later, we, change in our rooms, come back to the lobby, and then you realize that you are in a resort with the most accepting, for the most part, accepting group of people and we've never felt anything other than welcomed here, and that said of course we've been here six times now so someone was saying yeah but I think I think we've been here enough number of times to be able to handle the odd personality that thinks you don't belong here we know exactly how to handle that yes well and I to give you Thank you.
The odd personality that thinks you don't belong here, we know exactly how to handle that. Yes.
Well, and to give you some more feedback, and we were talking about this with a couple of friends we were with last night, that, you know, you spend all day and for the most part when you're in the pool, nobody has clothes on, but when you dress for dinner and the woman adds clothes sometimes they become more sexy you know when they add clothes and coming into a resort where you may be in a minority and the type of things that you wear may not be similar to corsets or lingerie or things I have to to say, you walked out, Jay, the other night in this beautiful white, what's it called?
Sadi. And it covered a lot of your body, but it was so sexy.
And I think it was because you're so comfortable being in that sort of dress, and because you were comfortable, you were confident, and as you're confident, you just exude this beauty, and I just watched people double take when they saw you, and I was like, oh my gosh, that was just a beautiful dress, so to your point, I think when you come here, you don't necessarily have to dress the way that other people dress so well she does for most evenings there's nothing wrong mixing it up yeah you can pull off just about any kind of thank you so how has this trip been compared to others and we've been here you've been here what four or five days now well I would say that we're probably down to a snapshot.
Yeah, so I know that you... Anything memorable happened. It could happen, something that happened to you, something that you just have observed throughout the resort. Let me give you an example. So at the end of our podcast, we do something called a snapshot. And Mrs.
Jones and I talk about an experience, a lifestyle or not experience that we've had in the past month since we last podcasted that just stands out so let me give you an example like me seeing you jay in that white dress that's a visual that i will carry with me because it was just very striking and just a very quick yeah there was no conversation except for i of course came up to you and had to give you a hug but anyway that's something that just in that quick of a moment a glimpse and something that I will remember so that's a snapshot do you thinking back over the past few days or even a past trip here is there something like that that stands out to either one of you either at the pool or the hot tub or to me the baby they create the bed this today when I came it was so classy that's other than that nothing oh so like the uh the towel animals yeah the little animals are cute did you have like hearts yes we did too yes so romantic very romantic yes Thank you.
the little animals are cute did you have like hearts yes yes I mean we've had a lot to say I think about most of the other questions but on this one I think we're drawing a blank okay you know what it is you haven't experienced your snapshot yet, you still have three days. Ah, okay, so we'll let you come back to it.
That is a very good point, because one of our experiences is the fact that we sometimes wish something more exciting happens, and then a couple of days goes by when you think nothing's happened and then it changes in a moment. Yes. Yes. That's what happened when we met those couple two years ago. Yeah.
We had dinner in the terrace, nothing happened, we came here and so… Yeah, that's usually what happens, I mean, all of a sudden, it's just the right setting with the right people, and there you go. So in closing, I guess, if you were to, and you're going to be talking to a lot of people who are listening that have never been to Pearl before, you've experienced the fears and the anxiety of coming down here and not knowing what to expect.
So from your unique place in life and what you've been through and where you're coming from culturally, what would you share to people who have not been here who are thinking about coming to Pearl? This is something I'm sure people from different cultural backgrounds can relate to. Do not consider coming here if you're not in a very secure relationship.
But if you are in a secure relationship and you are considering, correct me if I'm wrong, Jay, if you're considering taking a first step in the lifestyle, this is a fantastic place because like one of our mentors mentioned to us and these are people that you Mr. and Mrs. Jones know well, it's between the ears more than it is between the legs. This place has a lot of charms and beauty that brings out the romantic side in you, so if you are considering it, please go ahead and take that step.
Like they say, for those that have been here, no explanation is necessary, but for those that have not, no explanation is possible. I like that. I like that. Very good. So if any of your listeners are thinking about coming here and you're in a secure relationship and you've had good communication between yourselves, take it from a couple that were born into a very different, if you will, cultural background that have come here and had a great time, it's the right thing to do.
But if you are trying to come here to fix your marital problems or if you and your spouse do not have the most secure of relationships trust us we've seen a few rookies that have come here and made problems worse for themselves yes yes so to bring the whole thing full circle back to the basketball game i believe what you i believe what we experienced this morning was exactly what you just stated i believe that there's a couple who are here for the wrong reasons at the wrong time and what that does is everyone who observes that they're going to be like persona non grata hands off because why would you want to take a risk and introduce yourself to a couple who obviously aren't as comfortable as a lot of other people here so maybe maybe i'm being judgmental i don't know but that was my you're absolutely right a lot most people are judgmental, there's nothing wrong with that.
You do watch the body language between other couples and you might not voice it openly, but come on, everybody is drawing some conclusion and having a conversation between themselves about what they think about Jay and Nathan or Mr. and Mrs. Jones, and one of the things that the first few people we met here told us was the fact that if you do not carry yourself well and do things that are not acceptable in this resort, news travels fast. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
No, right. Well, thank you both for taking time out of your vacation to sit and talk with us. And have dinner with us, and talk to us in the hot tub, and the pool. Yes.
As a matter of of fact we're going to turn this recorder off and we're going to adjourn to the hot tub right i think that's the perfect thing to do on thursday afternoon yes so anything mrs jones no just thank you and i'm so glad we reconnected this year yes hopefully we'll see you back again next year okay well we hope you enjoyed what you just heard um our sexy conversation with jay and nathan that was um that was a fun afternoon we got to uh just kind of sit in the air conditioning and unwind a little bit and and just have a good conversation with them they're so easy to talk to, as I'm sure you were able to hear.
And I have to I have to set the record straight because that though Nathan did most of the talking during that podcast or during that conversation, there's no doubt who is in charge of that relationship. Absolutely. And that's Jay. Absolutely. Yeah. And a lot of times she was telling him what to say. Yeah's very soft spoken, but when she says something, it's pretty profound. And you know, okay.
So they look different and they sound different, but when you look at them, their relationship is so dynamic and so solid. And she definitely is the boss. Oh yeah. It's a typical lifestyle relationship. And that shines through no matter, you know, the race, the ethnicity. I mean, she has the look. Yes, she does. She does have the look. And I played basketball with her. I saw the look on the basketball court. Oh, she's really competitive. Oh my gosh. Good athlete. Yeah. What a great couple.
And, you know, we've gotten a few emails lately from, uh, couples in the lifestyle who literally from around the world, minorities, uh, different races, um, different ethnicities. And, and some people think that, or they say that, Hey, you guys make this sound easy, but we're coming from a completely different place.
And so, you know, we hope that the conversation that we just had, if, and I'm not sure that we captured the spirit of Jay and Nathan in that conversation, but they're just such a joyful couple. They don't let things bother them. Or if they do, you know, they just kind of shrug it off. They have a great relationship. They have each other and they just go forward and have fun. Yes. So and that's typical of the people that we meet at Pearl. Right.
I mean, there's something about taking your clothes off that just kind of strips away all educational levels, income levels, ethnicities, cultures.
Everybody has that commonality of having, you know, a relationship with your spouse, and you're there to, you know know deepen your relationship and just have some sexy fun and sexy fun is is sexy fun no matter you know what country you live in and I think that's what makes Pearl unique whether it's Riviera Maya or Pearl you know you you can go to house parties you can go to clubs you can go out on dates you can go to Na in new orleans and you can go to takeovers but there's something about desire where people are just able to be people and you're there for a number of days and you can start to soak it in and relax and get to know people for who they are and that really in essence to me is what the lifestyle is so now what's that quote again i'm putting you on the spot about if you've never...
Oh, you mean Nathan's quote? Yeah. I think it's worth repeating. If you've never been to Pearl, no... To desire in general, yeah. Do you know it or not? Well, no, I don't. Okay. If you've never been to desire, no explanation is possible. If you have been to Desire, no explanation is necessary. Amen. Right. It's so true. Yeah. And so for those of you, some of you have reached out to us and said, you know, we have limited funds or we have one lifestyle vacation.
Should we go to NIN or should we go to Pearl or RM? And the answer is always going to to be desire yes so i mean there's just there's just something about it it it's it's so weird because at one in one sense it's like so laid back but on the other hand it's so intense yeah you know the the i guess it's the opportunity and when I say opportunity, it's the opportunity for me to do something like really crazy, sexy fun with you. And that fun may involve somebody else and it may not.
It may involve the bed in our, in our room, or it may involve a jacuzzi bed or a pool bed or a playroom.
We don't know what it's going to involve but i know i know something sexy is going to happen each day yeah and um it's not knowing how that's going to play out is the is the crazy part right and that's a little bit of a tease because in a couple of weeks we're going to release episode 28 and we're going to do a whole breakdown and lots of lots of fun and lots of stories that we have to share and some lessons learned i mean the holiday we keep learning stuff every single vacation yeah definitely you know and we had some super highs and we didn't really have any lows but we we had some times where we just were like okay we ran out of gas yeah we did i think we were there one day too long.
But'll talk about that yeah in a couple weeks so jay and nathan you guys are awesome thank you very much for sitting down and talking with us and and mostly thank you for giving us permission to share your story and your experience with everyone who listens to we got a thing that's right so we're to have to make sure our paths cross again at Desire One Day. Definitely. That's for sure. Yeah. Anything else or should we cut out? I think we need to cut out and save the rest of it for episode 28.
Okay. Well, you can follow us on Twitter at We Got a Thing. You can listen to our podcast on any podcatcher for We Got a Thing. Our website is wegotathing.com. You can email me at mrjones at wegotathing.com or mrsjones at wegotathing.com. You've been doing pretty good at answering your emails. Yeah, kind of fun. Right. So don't go far because we will be back in a couple of weeks with a regular episode and we'll talk about all of our sexy fun that we've had at Desire Pearl 2016. So we are Mr.
and Mrs. Jones and we got a thing. What's your thing? We'll see you next time.
