Yes Lissalookinhard69! I'm a single male and have no issues with talking on the phone with couples to help verify each other. I'm not saying I voice verify everyone. But it's a great tool for me specially when there is some travel distance between the couple/lady and my self.
When me and my wife first started in the lifestyle , we did not even have a computer . We would look in the newspaper in personal section, the only way to contact them was by phone call . Do not see why everybody is so afraid of a phone call today, unless there hiding something ,Seems like SMs on here freak out when you ask them to call them. and yes there was caller ID so you could check them out if you wanted to, even in those days
We do from time to time but it's not necessary. When we do, it seems to break the ice much better.
"But it helps you to see if their is chemistry."
Yeah, that's probably another reason I won't do it, because it does nothing of the kind for me. I might get a sense that it's a definite maybe from text based conversation, but a phone conversation could only turn someone from a maybe to a no. Meeting in person is the only way anyone becomes one of my yesses and even then for almost everyone I would still need to go away and think about it, unless it's at a party or a club.
Exactly BTB.. exactly.. !
IM, chat if all have chemistry and can carry on an adult conversation , set up a meet and its off to bed we go.. its that easy !
Yeah we can agree to dis-agree! Everyone has to do what works for them...:)
Agree with JC. The only thing a phone call is going to confirm is that the account holder is not a robot. I’ll bet 99.9%, maybe even more, of these accounts are held by actual people., not robots. Whatever makes you feel comfortable is completely up to you, if it’s a phone call then run with it. Just don’t know how you can figure out all of those details over a phone call.
See, to me that sounds like a conversation to be had face to face. So when someone is unwilling to meet, but instead wants to call, it immediately raises my guard. At that point honestly our time is too valuable and we’ll simply move on.
It is a normal conversation between adults. It helps give you a sense of the person or couple. You are right it does not guarantee anything. But it helps you to see if their is chemistry. Once, I have spoken with a wife over the phone before her husband. I offered to setup a phone call with him and she loved the idea. Me and him had more fun talking on the phone then I did with her wife.....lol!! We found we had so much in common. Folks I dont interview the person over the phone. We just talk as adults about how we enjoy the lifestyle, talk about likes and dis-like and trades stores etc! It just eases everyone comfort level!
GGM. We also won’t meet anyone too far away and will happily meet for drinks or whatever. Singles or too far away we typically only meet at a lifestyle club or event anymore.
So BtB, what would your call with us verify for us? While I suppose it might confirm to you that we’re a couple, I can’t say that really concerns me. It still won’t guarantee you’ll show up at a meet, it doesn’t prove your pics are real or current and it doesn’t prove any other details in your profile are accurate. It seems to me it’s one more delay to an actual meeting.
I don't even talk to my kids on the phone unless they insist. Why on earth would I talk to a stranger?
I'm not trying to be difficult, but I don't give out my number casually and I don't jump through hoops for sex. That doesn't mean I'm not serious or real or whatever the fuck reason people have to "voice verify" (quotes added because it's such an old fashioned phrase that it makes my brain itch), but it does mean I'm completely unmotivated to reassure people of any of those things. If you want to know if I exist, come have coffee with me. Since I won't entertain even a coffee date with someone who lives more than an hour away and will meet you halfway if you do, it's not a huge investment of your time or energy.
YES!! The willingness to participate in a phone call means a lot!!! You pretty much already answered any questions just by saying YES to the call...LOL!!!!
We usually voice or video verify. We use Kik, cell phones, FaceTime, WhatsApp, etc. We don’t expect to be able to glean much info from a call, but the very willingness to participate weeds out some of the fakers.
Correct thn1045! That works well if the person you going to meet enjoys parties and public events. Lots of times I meet couples who don't want to attend parties. They prefer a more intimate 1on1 meet. But, if they are not fake, most of the time they have no issue with me chatting on the phone a bit. In fact, most love it! It adds a certain comfort level for all involved. They get a sense of me and me of them. But, like I said before, we all just have to use the tools we have available to make us all feel comfortable in the life style which includes, voice verify, meet at public spaces, checking profile, photos, certs etc..:)
We don't voice verify, however, we only meet new people at meet-n-greets, house parties, clubs, or hotel parties. So.. it's face-to-face verify at group things where if we don't click, we both have other options for people to meet that night. No harm, no foul, efficient use of time.
Doing background checks on people via IP addresses and phone numbers isn’t due diligence, it’s stalking. The best part about this lifestyle, at least for us, is the anonymity. Yes, we want to meet and share our holiest of holy’s with people, however, we don’t want you to know where we live, work, kids names, etc.. That’s just creepy.
Exactly RonKathy! I'm not saying voice verification works 100%. It's just a tool to help you weed out those who will waste your time!!
We travel all over USA and this last week in San Antonio Tx Riverwalk.. flakes everywhere from talking on phone..to those we have thrown out while making out at our home taking clothes off.. demanding to know who we play with.. do we play with certain people etc etc..we want experienced fun people without drama.. and believe me many people bring drama to swinging and cant handle one going to bed with a wife or girlfriend..
Its Really Easy.. when you have been swinging as long as us you see all sorts of BS people..plus the great ones.. US we IM , be sure all on same page , set up a time to call each other and the vetting begins.. cell or hard numbers are easy to find out who you talking with and if its legit.. its what we do. We set up a meet at a bar/lounge and vetting continues.. to many say they have been swingers but dont have a clue how to act, behave in 3sums, etc.. general conversation works wonders.
if a couple you talk to both parties and be sure they are on the same page, photos current ( we met some with 10 year old photos) .. single guy ask if they can host , meet at various times vs only day time ( we get guys who are divorced with kids) ... questions work wonders and weed out many fakes.. YES its what we do and easy in this day and age to verify IP address and Phone numbers match to what they say... its what we do and have done for now going on 30 years swinging.
Not a snowballs chance in hell you can tell my ethnicity on the phone. If you think you can that might be the reason I ghost you.
“ Meaning people pretending to be couples, single, a women, or man, bi men pretending to be straight and even folk pretending to be black! I know that to be true because I have caught several. I was able to figure it out base on how they respond to my questions.”
Just wondering which types of questions you would ask to determine if somebody was lying about being single, woman, man, bi man, or straight? Same thing to determine if they’re black, obviously they can’t do the secret hand shake over the phone.
There are a lot of fakers on here. Meaning people pretending to be couples, single, a women, or man, bi men pretending to be straight and even folk pretending to be black! I know that to be true because I have caught several. I was able to figure it out base on how they respond to my questions. Once they knew the jig was up they would disappear. It's the nature of the internet these days! You can be who you want to be as long as you don't meet in person. It's just the times we live in. So, I voice verify specially if they live a great distance from me.
Perhaps it’s a regional thing then because your luck sounds horrible compared to ours. We’ve only had one person flake and not show up and I don’t see how a phone call could have prevented that.
Swinging well over 25 years mainly in south Florida.... Since on SLS We NOW always voice verify with BOTH parties or even singles when we were stood up or they had an excuse why they could never go back and party at their place.. always had an excuse ! Of course .. they were married.
We have met some couples.. and spouse had no idea he was on a swing site until we met and wanted "us" to talk her into swinging.. also we have had many fakes on SLS who had no plans to really swing but talk a big game on SLS and forums with one locally having 5 different profiles.. single, couples, and under various names..
Turns out our long time guy of 7 years.. something changed with him after our meet last month.. tells us he was recently married "over a year now" with his ex.. and still shows a single profile and tells us "yes" she wants to swing and then stood us up after we set a meet with what we thought was both of them.. for dinner and dancing with reservations !
Seems many should just use Ashley Madison... 3 guys last year all married but with single profiles.
Before SLS we always used word of mouth at clubs or events but since on SLS we have had fakes, flakes and picture collectors mainly after CL closed down. ! You lie to "us" we are done!
With all due respect, how often do you encounter someone having their arm twisted that you think you could verify it over a phone call? We’ve been in the lifestyle for over 20 years, and that is a scenario we have never encountered.
