Orgasm

My wife will gush with every new guy she is with. Just from the thought of being naughty . After she has had them, the next time with them is hard for her to get the big O at all. It takes work....

Well said Moon

Whether you orgasm or not will not matter to anyone but you. We suggest that you don’t worry about it and just have fun. We know each other’s bodies and likes and what it takes to make the other happy. It’s not always the same with new partners and you may get different results. Mrs. Moonlight is always multi-orgasmic at home but her results vary in the lifestyle. While she cums easily and often with most, it doesn’t always happen that way. It doesn’t mean she is not having fun or feeling pleasure.

We know a male friend who cannot orgasm by another woman giving him oral. It only happens with his wife (and now with Mrs. Moonlight’s skills). That doesn’t mean that he does not enjoy oral from another woman because he can’t get enough. It also doesn’t mean the women giving him oral is offended or disappointed either. If you feel comfortable about talking about it, just put it out their with your partners. Just relax, have fun and let it all play out.

Agree DTH.. wife is a shallow moaner and you will know it as she holds on to ones back butt or whatever is available.. ... but with the right guy also has very "WET".. orgasms !

As we say.. Its All Good!

One - The squirting would probably do it for me too. So long as there is some indication she's having a good time, because for me, there is no point if the woman I'm with doesn't at least appear to be enjoying it.

I am all about hygiene being paramount and then getting lost in the moment. The need and urge to have an orgasm is secondary to being lost in the people I am with. Whether exploring, touching, caressing, kissing, licking, sucking, fucking, cuddling, it is being in that moment that the focus is on pleasure, fun, laughter, being playful, and being conscious of the pleasures of those around me.

Being vocal is fine, being quiet is fine (one can sense by the way the body reacts if you what you are doing is bringing or not bringing others pleasures).

Whether a person is vocal or their body reacts to the pleasure, both are hot and add to the sexual experience

Mayhem. We played a number of times over the course of a year with a couple where it seemed no matter what I did I couldn't get the woman to be vocal. She would cum and squirt so much the bed and me both would be soaked but nothing coming from her mouth. Her hubby had the same problem with her. Now my wife is very vocal. Everyone knows when it feels good for her.

pussy is like pizza. I have never had a bad pizza or bad pussy. just good pizza and great pizza.

I'm also in the "So long as people are having fun" camp. It can take me a long time to cum with someone other than the Mrs as well, but I definitely enjoy it regardless.

I also try not to treat it as a challenge if I know this going in and it's more just a matter of enjoying the moment. So long as the woman I'm playing with is having a good time, it's all good as far as this guy is concerned.

One thing that I would have a hard time with is if a woman didn't orgasm AND there was no audible feedback. I play with a woman regularly that has a super hard time cumming with someone other than her hubby, but her happy sounds let me know that she's having a good time.

Flip the question: Would you (the female) be disappointed if the guy did not have an orgasm?

This is how I think of it: My favorite is hot pepperoni pizza. If I was offered a slice of delicious hot pizza without pepperoni , that smelled awesome and tasted fantastic, I would still enjoy it immensely.

I, for one wouldn't mind knowing up front.

The one time I was told that, by the lady after we were both naked and horizontal, worked out well. I just told her "challenge accepted" . She laughed . I laughed. Both of us relaxed and took our time. It took a while but it was worth it.

Some times I think that this type of worry, much, like worrying about not being able to rise to the occasion, is a self fulfilling prophecy.

I as a man would appreciate knowing that and it would not deter me.

I think everyone has answered but if you are actually worried, maybe have the husband let the other guy know on the side that you might not orgasm and that it's fine as long as everyone has fun. Just an idea .

@musicalPair-
I love this! What a great adventure your wife must have had. Great scenario!

We were a couple of years into swinging, and my wife had never been able to orgasm with another man. I wanted to change that, so I set up a 3sum with another guy. As the other guy was licking her pussy, I kept kissing her, and gently whispering, "Let him make you cum. I love watching him lick your pussy. You can cum. Let it happen." Well, that did the trick. She was able to relax with it, and realize that I wouldn't get jealous. Now, she may or may not have an orgasm with certain other men. Depends on the situation.

As far as how I'd feel if a woman doesn't get off... Eh...

For a lot of couples, swinging is foreplay for them. The truly good sex comes after the swap is over.

I'm sometimes a stubborn orgasm myself, and can emphasize. I do think it is good courtesy and practice to let partners know ahead of time. Usually, women are either ambivalent or willing to go the extra innings. Some really like cum though, and can be a bit disappointed if it doesn't happen.

After 20+ years with my wife, I've learned a lot of what makes her click. As others have said, it's not like flipping a switch. She doesn't orgasm every time either, but it's still an amazing experience and she loves the feeling of me being inside her.

I hope this helps, and good luck.

I agree with not bring afraid of communicating what makes you feel good, Everyone has different pleasure zones that work for them, so letting someone know what turns you on only helps them to help you. I would add that anyone in this lifestyle who has been it in a while knows that the big "O" is not the primary focus. If your primary focus is that you MUST achieve an orgasm or people will think you did not enjoy yourself, you will miss out on all the pleasures around you. If you approach it with the intent to enjoy every sensation, every new feeling, and feeling the intensity of sexual pleasures in and around you, chances are you will not have an issue reaching an orgasm.

I see a couple on a regular basis and there are times when one of us may not have an orgasm and this okay! Then there are times when we meet and all three of us will have multiple orgasms and are totally spent. The point here is to just let yourself go, focus on being in the moment and the pleasures you are giving and or receiving. Let the mind go and let the body take over!!!.

Great advice HB.. second that!

Don't worry about it at all. One thing you absolutely don't want to do is apologize before, after, or during play for not achieving the big O. The simple truth is that when you meet couples you will meet men who aren't going to do much at all for you and then others who, as referenced, will rattle your bones and everything else. What you do want to do is tell any potential play partner what you like. Most of us have a default play mode and that doesn't always work great and other times it may. Also don't be afraid to give direction during play to help get you to the O. Relax and have fun and don't feel like you have to perform at an orgasmic level.

25M0re,

You have a legitimate concern. You will run into some men who will be disappointed if you don’t cum. It’s an excellent idea to set the expectations early, although you’ll still find guys and women who will see you as a personal challenge. They’ll insist that they can MAKE you cum.

Most experienced swingers will know that a woman’s orgasm is not something you can flip on like a light switch; that’s one of the many reasons why we prefer to avoid newbies. Real swingers will appreciate you for the whole you, not just your orgasm.

By the way, it’s not just women who sometimes take a long time to cum. If I’ve popped a blue pill I may not cum all night especially if I’ve come close a few times but successfully pulled back from the edge.

We have discussed me getting off with other people and my husband really wants it to happen and if it does will be very happy for me. I enjoy sex very much and have learned that my body is the way it is and I'm fine with it. I'm honestly just concerned about the reaction from other men if I don't cum.

My wife has the same problem when it comes to having an orgasm. She can have them, and they can be extremely intense. So far, I'm the only one that can get her there, but It takes time and a lot of oral. Others have made her cum, but not with the intensity that I can. Can it be a turn of to some? I'm sure it is. We always tell the other person, not to be disappointed if she doesn't cum, because she doesn't care, as long as she's enjoying it. As long as you and your husband understand that the both of you will react differently with other partners, you should be fine.

I think we all enjoy a challenge. The bigger question, because you’re new to this, how will you husband feel if another man rattles your bones and has you screaming like never before? You guys should discuss exactly that before jumping in.