Not everyone is just interested in another lady. My desire is for the man first. If I find the lady attractive, and she is any shade of bi, then there may be some sort of interaction there. It's the man that will always quench my thirst though. I know I am not the only one like this, you just may have to look a little harder. ~N
Well said Fran.. and we LOVE our guys ... but they must have some class, game, look decent, not boring exciting in life... are they well dressed, groomed and smell good.. next can they communicate, dance , smile, laugh at themselves and show up when expected.. with good fun sex!
This topic has been talked about at length on boards.. and YES we love and enjoy our male half guys couples or singles.. !
Bifun: In short, yes, men very much matter in the lifestyle.
It seems to us, many, many couples start their journey looking for the elusive and endangered species called lady unicorn. Many couples move on to explore other areas when they get comfortable with the idea of sharing selflessly. That certainly has been our journey.
We in particular, really enjoy adding single guys, married guys with genuine permission, and groups of guys (though this last one is pretty difficult to set up).
Guys in the US have a problem right now, which for us means finding a nice gentleman is as tough as finding a nice lady unicorn. Men in the US have trouble acting, dressing, and behaving well in public right now. This causes many prospective guys in the LS to wrongly believe men are not needed/wanted/desired by folks in the LS.
Quite to the contrary is the actual need, which the fora here will show that many couples and singles really do want good, mannered, manly men in their play.
The guy who shows up to a date in a disheveled manner, bbq-stained t-shirt, and really poor language is a disappointment for all. This is the norm right now not only in the LS but in the larger society.
To end on a positive note, the guy or husband who shows up fit, well dressed, well-spoken, being chivalrous, and having something interesting to say will do very well in the lifestyle. We have been blessed to know many of these great guys. And these genuine men get repeated invites for fun and friendship with us....and many others.
FFM threesomes have to be one of the most common, if not the most common, sexual fantasies out there. Consequently, a large contingent of people in the LS are just unicorn hunting, and men don't matter to them.
However, there are plenty of LSers who are into group play, swapping, or even solo play with men or women. Men do matter in that case. I'm not trying to play nicely with a guy who I think is sketchy or a cornball, and my wife wouldn't either.
Even in scenarios where people do want men involved and look to qualify them that women very often drive decision making and initiating play.
My experience says that yes, guys really matter. I mean, yeah, I have definite opinions about profiles that only have public photos of her (I just say thanks, but no thanks, without explanation) and couples where she's clearly put in a ton of effort getting ready and he's in cargo shorts and a tee shirt (I just assume sex will be as slipshod as his attire), but in the general run of things, I want to be attracted to both of them, even if I'm not playing with her
" Do guys really matter in a couple? "
With the correct people, Yes.
Bifun, that isn’t too unusual with many pockets of folks in the lifestyle. Many are only looking for bi female play and there’s nothing wrong with that. So as a couple that doesn’t do bi female play our options are more limited. The big thing to remember is there are many full swap couples around and you can find them and there is a tendency for them to form their own party groups. If you are only looking online you should revamp your profile to make it a little more appealing. Also, keep in mind that as a smoker many will not want to play with you. Just keep at it and you should find some couples that you all mesh with.
So years ago when I as the male entered the lifestyle not knowing much just curious. I had a bi-curious wife. She tryed to find a single female to explore but always fell short. She stumbled into the lifestyle and that’s where females that played where. We meet quite a few couples but the females always told me of the couples the only wanted her not the males. I asked why that was? I was told from the females I already have a man we just want to play with her? So my question is why even bother going as a male of a couple if your not wanted. Just curious.
