Code of Conduct?

To the original poster and subject, Yes there are lots of book on the subject but you have to look for them. SLS forums is not the best place for lifestyle advice

To add to your bag:

If YOU require non-latex condoms (I do, I'm allergic), bring BOTH sizes. Swing tends to have guys who require Large sized condoms. You don't want to have to pass bc you don't have the right size glove. Most guys who wear Large only carry Latex. Just my experience.

A camomile tea bag or two. I know I get nervous. A quick cup of tea can easily calm your nerves. It's a thought.

If you have food allergies (and jeez, I DO), bring your own food, it may be the only thing you can eat.

Consider:

People tout the Golden Rule, "Treat others as you want to be treated." But really, that's not the way to do things. Treat others as THEY wish to be treated. Some people require handling with kid gloves, because for one reason or another, they are fragile. Other people are hail-fellow-well-met and don't need such a careful touch. Its worth the time and effort to find out what each person needs and and then treat them according to their needs, NOT according to YOURS.

"Joking aside follow the Golden Rule. “Treat others as you want to be treated.” and you can’t go wrong."

I do that. When it works, it's great, but it often doesn't work. I like it when people are brutally direct and don't bullshit around, but it puts a lot of people off.

Bring extra cookies. I have a few friends here, who feel the same way about Girl Scouts' moms ;-)

BT

I was a Girl Scout mom for many years and I haven't been to NOLA since I was a child. Might be time for a visit again.

I like Girl Scouts' moms... Why lie.

I was a Weblo (for you Catholics out there who aren't familiar with the term, its like the purgatory between Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts). I was kicked out because I didn't, wouldn't, and won't. ...not that there's anything wrong with that...

I have to apologize for being a part of this thread's hijacking. I'm not very good at linear conversations.

OP- if y'all were a SM, I'd direct you to a book- available as an eBook on those flat things...tablets.. via Nook (not sure about the other services) called Swingland... It was written by a guy by the name of Stern. ...Irish guy, I think. Very funny, but I would say its a pretty thorough Must read for the newbie SM... I'm not sure if there's any meat (pardon the pun) in it for couples, but it was an enjoyable, insightful, and definitely humorous read.

I could lend you my copy, but you'd have to fly to New Orleans.

Happy Friday Y'all!

BT

Scout's Honor, I have a "No Soliciting" sign on the front door of my office that says "No Soliciting, except for Girl Scout Cookies". I'm a sucker for some girl scout cookies, just sayin...

Gentlemen when it comes to cookie taste-a-thons I may have the upper hand (tongue) as I have something unique in common with Betty Crocker, Mrs. Fields, Margaret Braun, Juliette "Daisy" Gordon Low, and Ms. GGMM.

"A Girl Scout is ready to help out wherever she is needed. Willingness to serve is not enough; you must know how to do the job well . . . "

I was chairman of cookie sales when my daughter was in girl scouts, when we lived in Washington. That should count for something, right?

I'm definitely pro boner and these days Girl Scouts are selling Trios, so we're good there too. ;-)

I love girl scout cookies. :)

I realize that the job is voluntary - with no pay. ...Pro Boner, if you will.

BT

I'd be willing to make myself available as the official palace cookie tester/taster... Just for safety sake, don't you know.

BT

I doubt that cookie is stale.

Apparently the market for stale cookies is a little limited.

I'm catching up on my fora reading and found this thread.

For the life of me, I can't believe no one, male or female, picked up on that last comment and offered to eat your cookies!

BT

Despite them being 43 days old...

I was a Girl Scout. ;-)

Always being prepared, I see Ms Good Golly ;)

It's fine to approach a couple. Just make sure to give them time and space if they need to discuss (that's the one disadvantage to doing your own hunting). And, yes, approaching her first is your best bet.

I always have hair ties, a comb, bondage tape, condoms, lube, and breath mints, plus lip balm, a change of clothing, either my phone or a pen (the club I go to doesn't allow phones), and usually a glass or metal toy.

Cheeky, definitely be proactive when going to parties and clubs. Insecurity hinders most would be successful outings. If you are only looking for female play with a given couple be upfront about that pretty early into the conversation. Some couples can be pretty sensitive if at the last moment you let them know you are only interested in one of them. We have seen this play out poorly multiple times. But definitely work into the conversation how you play fairly early on. That way you can not waste time on people you aren't compatible with. Be sure you have lube in your bag and take extra condoms. Probably the worst rookie mistake would be letting someone talk you into something you don't want to do.

OP, thank you for posting this. I was looking for exactly this thread. I've been to two parties as a guest and before I head out stag I want to make sure I don't make an ass of myself if possible.

Is it considered rude, as a single female, to approach a couple, or should I wait to be approached? My personality would lead me to approach the female of the couple first out of respect.

What are items you being with you in your "ho bag?" So far I've found I needed an outfit to change into later, bath wash, my own towel, non- latex condoms, a bottle of water for the ride home and puddle pads. Any other suggestions?

What are some 'fucking newbie!' Mistakes to avoid?

"Don't touch without permission" is gold. Both of us have had this happen to us in playrooms and at parties. 90% of the time it was someone who was new and just thought it was OK. Talk to more than just people you might be interested in playing with at parties or clubs. Be friendly and you can make some good friendships. Also be mindful that everyone plays differently so be sure to discuss things in depth. Don't try and talk someone into going to a playroom if they only play in their room or behind closed doors.

I come from a different "lifestyle" but some of the protocol holds true in this one also. With that being said, just a few off the top of my head.... If it is not yours, do not touch it without permission. Of course No ALWAYS MEANS NO. Being polite will get you a lot farther, and more friends than being a rude ass too. ~ N

Thank you for all your responses. I (Mrs. Stell) am learning that finding the right connection is going to be a more tricky than I was expecting. I know the right couple exists. I just need to be patient enough to find them.

My first contact with a couple that reached out to us through this site was unimpressive. Simply based on their pictures they were attractive and both my husband and I would have been very open to becoming physically intimate with them. However, based on their intelligence level and their approach to courting a couple I became uninterested very quickly.

I need to do more looking to find a group of like minded couples who have a similar set of standards as my own. I might even need to create my own group on order to attract the types of couples I wish to connect with.

I can see how this Lifestyle is going to be an investment of time for me. Fun and exciting but more of an effort in time spent researching and courting.

Being patient is not my strongest skill. I guess I will need to treat this beginning part of the journey as extended foreplay!! Wink Wink :)

Don't take any of this stuff too seriously.

The relationship with your partner is much more important.

This is the frosting. The cake might be better with some, but eating just frosting is unhealthy.