Hotwife help

My husband and I swing together, and separately too. We have no issues with jealousy, but we always know what the other is doing. I don't just normally see the same man over and over, but we do have men that have become good friends and that I've been with many times. Respect for your partner is of course the most important thing, I wouldn't jeopardize my marriage for anyone. We know a couple where both of them have long term relationships with other people. They have date nights where they both go out with their respective friend, this has been going on for years. For them it works. While I know a few men that I really enjoy being with I don't date them exclusively. Talk it out with your partner, if they are not comfortable it's not worth it.

They definitely can happen but if they are very strong or long lasting this isn't the lifestyle for you. You and the Mrs. would be better off having fantasies and late night talks about it rather than living the experience. Your marriage is most important thing and this thing of ours should only be explored if it exclusively adds to it. I had had a few bouts of it myself but it was early on when it was an aggressive guy who tried to run the show. It might have been more about me not being in charge than being jealous but I have learned to relax since my biggest pleasure is watching her have fun.

Play it by ear and talk very openly with your wife about your feelings. It may be one or two small things that trigger the response but if you find it becoming overwhelming or the bad feelings getting stronger just stop for the both of you.

The OP stated that his wife and the other man met 3 times and he suddenly felt jealous.

One thing that can make this a little easier is to not focus on just one man. When a hotwife is having play dates with only one man there can be more of an issue with jealousy and temptation for feelings to develop.
The alternative is to establish more than one FWB and that way the focus is not on one man.

S
I agree with Pixie_Lust....shut it down with this guy. So much time has gone by now, since you created this topic, but I imagine you and the Lady are no longer together. But, maybe you are.

I think you should go with your gut feeling. I also believe that there is a certain form of to ltelepathy that exists between people. He's probably working on her to see if she'll see him without your knowledge. I'd end it "now". I'll check your later posts......

My lovely wife and I share our lovemaking with a friend or two on a fairly regular basis. We share everything. Sometimes one or another will sit out for a bit, watch, offer support, hold hands, fetch water, blow kisses. I get to watch her getting boned hard by a friend, and loving it! It takes my breath away every time. She is never more beautiful in my eyes. I get to see her with new eyes, fresh eyes - and she gets to see me that way too. And we fall in love all over again. I am so grateful. We got it good.

Now, I could be insecure, dwell on little details, make silly comparisons, etc.
I really could. It is a choice, a choice of perspectives.

I invite you to embrace a different perspective.
To find a way to see with better eyes, more generous eyes.

Over time, Jealousy / insecurity will diminish and go away.
With more Exposure these feelings becomes optional.
True with many phobias too. Just don't let it master you.
Take those feelings out and examine them in full daylight.
Compare your fears to objective reality.
Hint: She didn't marry the other guy.

As someone that has been in and out of the lifestyle my whole life I have to think that you need to be more selective about who allow to join your relationship. I have had several LTR (1 yr+) and never had an issue. From what I can tell everyone knows pretty quick what kind of match you are.

My favorite LTR were where the wife and I shared what I would call a bond for lack of a better word. It is not 'steal your wife' romantic but it's not 'just here to put my dick in her'.

It's the third time she's met with this particular guy? If the husband feels she is getting too close to the guy, I can see why he is a little freaked out. Most see this lifestyle as FUN ONLY... with no emotional attachments. If he feels she likes the guy too much, it's time to move on. If she refuses or resists... it's a good sign things have indeed gone too far. Both parties in the couple need to have 'veto power', and their partner needs to respect it.. or things stand a very good chance of going very badly. Good Luck

I'm jealous of our bulls thick hard cock. My wife likes to tease me about his skill.

This is normal. The wife must have a romantic attachment to the third party or this doesn’t work. Part of the fun is that it will prove she loves u more. Let it play out give them there time together and it will work out.

This is normal. The wife must have a romantic attachment to the third party or this doesn’t work. Part of the fun is that it will prove she loves u more. Let it play out give them there time together and it will work out.

I try an remember how good our bull makes my wife, Cathy, feel. I was uneasy at first too. I still find myself getting nervous before their dates after a little over a year of being a cuckold.

I think you just need her to try with another partner first and if you still feel the same way then i would ask you to allow her get a break from a third party.

OP, there's no way to tell for sure, but you can experiment by asking your wife not to see this particular man again and then seeing if the next one causes similar feelings.

My former partner never had a problem when I played alone with strangers, but he got a little squirrelly if they stuck around for awhile. It had nothing to do with what I could or would do, but it was really uncomfortable for him.

If you have been with this woman a while, you know when shit ain't right. Don't worry about what anybody else thinks, go with what your own head is telling you.

Firdbird. It isn't like you were picked last for kickball. Then you'd have some real shit to be traumatized about.

OP: Define "normal" ;-)

I did notice you have been members for over 5 years. When we first started out that sense of "fairness" Firebird mentioned did come into play, but that was short lived and not even a thought at this point, so I'm guessing that's not it.

The idea behind this (for most) is that it enhances your sex life with each other. It sounds as though that's happening too.

Is your wife especially infatuated with this guy or is sex with him replacing sex you'd otherwise have? Whatever the case, IMHO I would view jealousy/insecurity as at least a yellow flag and something that I would discuss with the Mrs as it would not be "normal" for me to feel this way. It would be helpful if you could at least have some idea going in as to why this bothers you, but I doubt you'll find that here.

We are in a different situation than you because as close as we get to a "regular" guy are couples that we see frequently. If we did have a single guy over the Mrs prefers that I also be involved (MFM).

I'll echo that communication is a good thing, both in and out of the lifestyle.

I've never much participated in the "that's not really swinging" posts.

We think that whatever your kink happens to be is all good with us as long as everyone is consenting. We may not share your kinks, but we don't have to play with you either.

So talk. Figure out what you want. Make some rules t hat work for you. And go have fun...

“the opinionated respondents launched a personal attack.”

FB: As I recall, you were complaining in multiple threads about getting no pussy or it sure seemed that way.

Anyway, hope you two are doing well, haven’t seen you around in a while; how’s cucklife treating you lately?

~Allen

Pretty normal (within the subset of “normal” lol).
Just don’t post stuff about “fairness”—-you’ll get the hardcore life stylists on your back.

Everybody has his or her opinion but i offered a similar situation only in my situation, i wasn’t allowed to play with other females. Needless to say...the opinionated respondents launched a personal attack.

Communicating with partner can not be overstated. Good responses here also regarding security in your relationship

Wellllll, you asked this question a month ago, received some advice, but it looks like you never checked back in to discuss details. So I'm thinking that you already have an answer to your question in mind, you're just waiting for someone to state what you're already thinking.

Or I could be full of crap. The chances of either are pretty even.

Y'know, I used to play with a couple who handled that issue by having the husband contact me to set up a date with his wife (and now that I think of it, she would always contact me for an MFM date). We'd already played together as a threesome first, and by having him do the arrangements for wife's alone-with-Sorillo time, he was always involved and fully informed. And that made me extremely comfortable as the SM in the mix, so that I never felt like I was coming between them in any way.

You might consider discussing a similar arrangement. I suspect that it would be a big help.

Everybody will have different feelings about what goes on in this lifestyle. Jealousy, I think, would be common and natural at the start. Just how uncomfortable this gets may depend on how secure you are in yourself and in your relationship. Sharing isn't for everyone. We are a very secure and comfortable married couple. I know that I won't be the best looking, most fit, best lover etc that's out there. I'm confident and secure enough personally and with our relationship that I'm not afraid or jealous if she gets excited with an opportunity to get "better". In fact, thats the part that excites me - it's a gift to her that says "hon if you get a chance to play with that hunk there - go for it! You deserve it." How many women have turned your head at a bar? Wouldn't it be awesome if your wife said "If you can get her good for you - have fun." Knowing that it's all just for a thrilling encounter but nothing more meaningful beyond that.
I still get those anxious knots in my stomach as my wife flirts, teases and has the attention of another man. But that feeling is what excites me about her being a Hotwife. She's very confident in telling me "OMG he was good. Can't believe how much he pleasured me! Thanks hon that was awesome". She's enjoyed herself, she's happy, she had fun - now brings her excitement back home for our pleasure.
Maybe a bit of a ramble. Hope it helps a bit.

I recently was having a great experience with my wife meeting up with a guy I they met 3 times then out of nowhere I feel insecure and a little jealous . Is this normal I want to continue but not sure why I feel these feelings out of the blue. How do you get past them