? For the SM's please

I have no preference. It's best when they are together so no one get's confused as to what was said.

I don't care too much who approaches/contacts me first, but I do like to make sure they both know what they want.

I do prefer to talk to both of them together before meeting

I have no preference but I tend to reply to the M & F when communicating out of courtesy. I will also defer to a couples preference though. Respect given is usually reciprocated.

Robert

As long as both are aware, Iam not into that surprise stuff where one doesn't know until you go meet them, been down that road before An wasn't fun

I have had the pleasure of communicating both ways. Was absolutely comfortable with either one. When you treat people with courtesy and respect it should not make any difference.

For us we both play alone from time to time. She has a boyfriend and he is a great guy. If a single male does not reach out to me at some point in the talks with the wife its a no go. He should have respect for the both of you. When I reach out to a new couple ( playing alone), I always ask for both to be in the text at 1st. That way he knows I am not a dick and she can see that I care to get to know him has well.I will also bring my wife in to the text. I as a husband don't have to know everything they talk about, but if I want to know I ask. Just my two cent

I just go with the flow. Usually I ask who I am chatting with if there is no name attached. Most of the time it's the husband. After a few exchanges they usually give me the wife's contact info to talk and get to know her as well.

All too often contact and meeting which is driven solely by the hubby tends to lead to disappointment as I've gotten that all-too-often feeling that his lovely wife is just being pulled along by her hubby...which, to me, takes away from the pleasure and experience as pleasing the Mrs is obviously my main objective. So, to answer the question, I actually prefer contact me driven by the lady...that way it's clear what she wants, etc. I'm enough of a gentleman that I've had no problem whatsoever with making the hubby comfortable with whatever scenario unfolds. Meeting a couple where both partners are honest with each other, have good communication, respect and love each other enough to want to enjoy the other's gratification, is rare...

So, any couples/ladies out there in need of a fun, dynamic, and very personable 3rd? I give great pillow-talk as well as long, sensuous massages pre and post-coitus. ;)

I prefer both the man and the woman is you going to be talking to both of them and meeting up with them it is a dynamic that all three have got to agree. If the couple are truly legit 95% of the time the male is the initial contact after that if everything flows smoothly then the discussion will be with the female then on to text or email and phone and finally a meet

Thanks! I do what I can. She takes Great care of me and I take care of her.

I have no preference but most often it starts with the M and if all proceeds well, then the F is brought into the dialog -- before -- a live meeting takes place between all of us. And as I imagine is the case for all of us SM's, I have reached out more often than I have been reached out too.

I assume that initially it's the male-half making contact or responding to my initial inquiry, which is fine. I prefer, somewhere on the pre-date timeline, that I'm introduced to the female-half, either via text, email, or best case, by phone.

Btw, Mr. AsianMilf, though you didn't ask and probably couldn't care less, you're a good man.

BT

We don't keep our profile viewable to SMs because we're just flooded with emails. That's just plain annoying. Because of my current limitation (Due to a medical issue) we are now just looking for quality SMs to please wife in ways that I now cannot. (I.e.a Stiff Dick). We tend to stick with the same SM for as long as we can. We stuck with two SMs for quite a long period until they moved away or quit the LS. We use the search feature here on SLS to see who's out there then pick those that seem compatible and go from there. We now know and play with one SM that is very dependable and very competent In the bedroom. We would like to have another just for the variety.

I agree with NOVA. I don't get much contact with legitimate couples. The great majority of couples who contact me are down low bi married men whose wives don't even know that they are bi or bi-curious much less that they have placed phony swingers ads on this site or other sites. But I don't mind because my profile makes it clear I am bi and also looking for men.

Of the legit couples who contact me, it is most often the male half. But when it is the female half, like NOVA, there is much greater chance that they really want to meet.

i have no preference.

But, having said that, the only couples i have actually met and played with have been when i dialogue with the female. I am unsure of why that is. So when it's contact from the male-half i am a little more skeptical that it is legit.

We have had so many guys report the same thing. Lots of predatory gay guys out there masquerading as a couple.

I have been contacted by both. That being said, I find that the chance of a meting actually occurring with both partners is when the female is the one to initiate the contact. Too often I have agreed to a meeting in a public p;lace, only to have just the male show up and give some excuse why he needs to get together with me first. In those situations, I usually back away, because either A: there is no female to play, or B: the guy just wants male on male sex without ever having any intention of bringing the female into the mix. Being bi, that is not ordinarily a problem if there is chemistry, but I am cautious when a person, or for that matter, a couple, is less than honest in their intentions.

Wow VL ... I think I know your guy ... different names and faces, but the very same guy at heart.

Still, I handle communications ... since this isn't "hubby's thing," I try to leave him out of that part of it. I'm nothing if not REALLY clear so, when a guy starts in with wanting to meet me one on one, or tries to slip me his phone number, or whatever, that's the end of it.

I make my own dates and pick my own Play Mates, but if my husband has a word, it's the last word. I'd never even consider playing with anyone that my husband had a bad feeling about ... especially if they did something that annoyed him.

Wow....pretty scary, Ms Vista.

Tramp

Thank you all so much for your input!
In our lifestyle rules it was decided that I (Mrs V) would do the communicating and vetting of potential SM's and any that were deemed to have genuine potential must be agreed to also by Mr V. He reads all chats and emails and then we discuss pro's & cons.
By this system we've so far met one for dinner w drinks that we both liked as much in person tho ultimately didn't end up working out on his end. No regrets and we consider him a friend now.
The 6 ft 250 lb "bullet" in question: I very freely admit to making Big (newbie) mistakes with as I took the 'fwb's' in the most literal sense (I've always had guy friends- Mr V has always insisted they all secretly wanted to fuck me) and he developed feelings for me, despite me never once being anything less than crystal clear about our marriage and devotion to one another. Still-I treated him like a Friend which in hindsight likely inadvertently sent him mixed signals. Mr V saw it coming as he read our chats- but stubborn as I am I argued he was wrong.
He wasn't.
This is a 'vacation MFM guy' for lack of better wording who I stupidly told where we were staying- though thankfully not the actual hotel. He Seemed accepting when I told him Mr V & I had talked and decided it wasn't going to work out after all..Till he sent us a joke on Kik yesterday followed by another apology, neither of which we responded to and then blocked him.
Based on how near frantic he got leading up to our decision-- 1st asking to spend a little one on one time with me alone prior to the 3 of us (I chalked it up to nerves-it set Mr V's teeth on edge) - asking multiple times if during our get together it would ever just be he and I, then realizing finally that was a mistake and asking to chat w Mr V who was furious and just wanted things severed-and then his rambling apologies trying to "set things right" and we're mildly to somewhat concerned he may stalk us now.

:/

I have no preference. However, in my experience, it has been split 50/50 in who reaches out initially between the husband and wife. After a period of time, my continued communication is more than 95% with the wife, as the comfort level and trust increases.

"I really don't have any preference about who does the communicating."

As Lady still patiently looks at her inbox.

Tramp

"Hopefully we've dodged a 6ft 250 lb bullet."

I did that once, at the FloraBama, flirting with a cute chick at the bar, and her flirting back without telling me that the behemoth Auburn football player who was her boyfriend would be back shortly from shooting pool with his buddies. He really, really wanted to kick my ass.

On topic: I really don't have any preference about who does the communicating. Have had great experiences both ways.

Hello again Ms Vista.

I know you're looking mostly for response from SM'so, but if you'll allow an Ole married fella a word...

I do the majority (but not all) of the forum and email stuff where we're concerned. However, we have found things to work out far better if I turn that over to Lady very early on in the case of a single or solo male.

Though we don't look for anything other than couples, there is absolutely no prohibition against solo males if they want to give it a shot. It's an often overlooked aspect to our profile.

All of that said, I've just found it infinitely more productive (especially to the solo guy) if he's allowed to communicate with Lady and not run everything through me. It just gives both of them a chance to feel each other out (see what I did there?).

And it's worked pretty good recently where 2 or 3 guys are concerned ;)

Tramp

Hello VistaLuv.

The short answer about preference of contact would be that I'm dealing with the person(s) doing the vetting.
I'll qualify that in a minute.

The key for me is that I need to judge several factors, in advance, before I'm willing to commit to anything more than a mail or two. The couple's experience, preferences and boundaries , ability to communicate, even their length of relationship come into play.

I've found that anything that might resemble a red flag needs to be drawn out into the light, hopefully with tact and grace, and and looked at carefully. Better now than later.

In my experience as a single, which is much less than a couple, I've had primary contacts of each gender without any real issues.

As far as the person(s) doing the vetting, I've found that technology is your friend. A phone set to speaker mode removes many questions instantly and usually speeds the process, one way or the other. Hearing is much more accurate than reading.

Seeking out the right single guy sometimes requires both a pilot and a navigator working together.
Target the right ones and choose wisely.

Bombs away.