Agreed whole heartedly. And what do they seek to gain, if we show up to meet and see something completely different than what was presented what do they think to accomplish. Present yourself, as yourself. We all have careers and families and limited time.
"wantonly cheerful"
love it
Y'know, I've had a bunch of times where folks have approached me because they liked my profile, complete with photos, even saying "and you're cute" (which is an utter lie, of course). But then they don't open a gallery, or they don't have photos at all, or the photos are obviously old, or so dark and grainy that you can't tell what they look like etc. Honestly, I don't bother putting any effort into trying to get to know them at that point, I'll just politely thank them for the compliment.
Why? Because chances are they're insecure, which is a total boner-kill. At that point it isn't necessarily about attractiveness. Someone with average or below-average looks who takes reasonable care of their grooming and wardrobe, but who is wantonly cheerful and comfortable in their own skin is plenty sexy. The most beautiful woman in the world is a confident, LAUGHING woman. I'm not qualified to comment on how a woman judges a laughing man's handsomeness, but I suspect that it's a similar situation for lots of women.
That's actually what I look for in photos. Confidence, humor, cheerfulness. Because that shit is sexay.
Awwww, squeeze chute. That's cute! Ms. Joe said if I ever use that term, she'll squeeze till something of mine falls off!
That was awesome, Allen. :-D
Yeah, not fake and won't exert myself one millimeter to prove it. Would I care if it meant a lost opportunity? No, we wouldn't click anyway.
Squeeze chute!? Lol
“have the person hold up a piece of paper with my name on it. The ones that don't are fake”
Not that people are fake, but maybe they believe your squeeze chute just isn’t worth jumping through hoops to get to.
BTW, welcome to the forums.
~Allen
Who said public?
No reason why someone can't post face pics privately and share them only with the folks they care to.
Unless you wear a mask we're going to see your face anyway when we get down to fucking.
Then you are missing out on the professional group of people that are the some of the best swingers. Those of us who have biasness or in management in private industry can not post pics. Period.
Since when has sex and swinging become a public forum? What happened to discretion and privacy?
After being burned with pictures that weren’t honest representations, as shallow as it may seem, we really want to see very recent pictures. I know it’s a shitty thing but we don’t want to go through what we have in the past. I have been purging old photos on our profile as we feel that the pics should give you an idea of exactly who we are when you meet us.
Ms. NJNY is correct, there is no right or wrong way with this, it’s what you feel comfortable with .
@Lovelyleesalincoln I like your ideas on getting a current pic. I will also add that getting on Skype or some other video chat program and seeing each other live and fully clothed might be an option too. I would only use that just to make sure they are who they say they are.
I hate deceptions, and once I catch someone in a lie, chances are I will not believe them about anything else. ~N
Ok.. admittedly we're still very new here. But of the folks we've met we generally don't have an issue getting pics or having the pics be representative of them today.
We have had a few folks refuse to send pics. That's a quick no thank you on our part.
We did have one experience where the couple claimed to have opened their pics but the gallery was still marked as blocked. Again, quick to shut them down and remove their access to our pics.
We get that every couple is different and respect that. But we have our requirements and won't compromise those for anyone.
I have had this issue as well. I always chat with the person on a chat site like Kik where it has nothing to do with swinging. That way there is no issue with sharing pics. I don't need a full nude pic but I do need current face and shirtless pics from guys. Attraction is a big part of this for us. And through chatting a couple days I can get an idea of their personality.
The easiest way to get a current pic or not get caught up with fakes is to get a live pic on the Kik camera or have the person hold up a piece of paper with my name on it. The ones that don't are fake and I have no need for them.
I understand the whole no pics on the swinger site but if you can't share a pic on a neutral non swinger site then You shouldn't be swinging at all.
We had one experience where within 3 seconds of walking into meet them we were like ‘hell no’.
Our pictures currently are ok, but we have both lost some substantial weight to affect how we look. Some of the new face pics are ok, but body ones need to replaced .hopefully we can get about a half dozen before I overhaul the compete profile and old pictures.
I am sure most everyone has heard "you eat with your eyes first" when referring to food. We believe that can also be used for swinging and sex too.
Physical attraction is very important to us, probably more so to me (the female). If we see a couple as physically attractive within our criteria of what we know turns us on, then we will meet to see if there is any chemistry and our personalities match. If there is not a physical attraction, we will not schedule to meet in person. Unfortunately we have been on the receiving end of deception by another couple more than once. Thankfully it has never got far enough to an actually meeting in person with them. I am very offended when a couple misrepresents one or the other, or most times both people. What ever happened to truth in advertising?
The scenario we have run into most often is thinking or hoping everyone is honest. We will generally reply to their message and start to chat with them based on their public pics, and written profile. Eventually they might open up their private galleries, or we will catch them on cam in a chatroom. Instantly their deception is unveiled. I then have to wonder when was the last time they updated anything in their profile, most importantly age, physical stats, and pictures. Do they really think their lie will be forgiven and we will jump in bed with them anyways? I wouldn't even want to be "just friends" with them now because who knows what else they are lying about.
I do update our profile regularly... written, body stats, and pictures. There are times when not many pics are available because I do take down old ones that do not represent us as we are today. I know a lot of people here do not do this. It makes me very leery of contacting anyone first. I really hate back peddling because of another couple's lies.
I do wish this site would do an automatic update for ages, and time stamping uploaded photos would be nice too.
It's human nature to look as good as possible. Unfortunately, some take this to far and cross the line to deception. All vanilla dating sites have this problem. SLS is no different. For me that's a huge red flag. If someone is dishonest about their appearance what else are they lying about?
There's no need to post old photos that don't look anything like today. The deception will be discovered eventually.
Robert
IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY
Out of all the people that we have meet and played with the only people that posted full face and body pics where govemrent unions workers with jobs that are impossible to lose.
And the narrative continues...IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY.
In the professional world you are easily destroyed by those that dig up your pics, only goverment unions workers dont see to care as nothing can get them fired or hurt their retirement in their fifties.
I agree with the others here, that meeting up for a drink beforehand is always the best policy.
While I'd love nothing more than to put up some pics, I can never bring myself to do it. I'm in the closet even more than your average swinger and you may find this surprising, but there's a bunch of groups out there that do nothing but dig up people's identities on sites like this, then blackmail or expose those people to their jobs, families, etc. and these people think they are some kind of moral vigilantes, which makes what they do even more fucked up.
It happened to someone at my job already, so damn right I'm not putting my pics on a swinging site for these whack jobs to find. I email private pics, and always meet people before play.
I get that some you have a minimum expectation about facial beauty and body type, and that's fine, but you gotta understand that people are fake, most everyone - Didn't you ever see that Chris Rock stand-up where he jokes about it? It's life.
A nice body and face with a shitty personality is not good either
I cold not agree with you more.
This is one of the many reasons that I by far prefer live venues. Many of the people present are already in the mood to make something happen, and everyone there can be seen and assessed in real time before deciding on whether or not to approach them.
You cannot fake anything when you are in front of a woman or couple one on one in person. Meeting one on one can be a completely different experience than interacting by email and looking at pictures.
NoHillcpl quote: If they don't show anything from the nipples down good chance it only gets worse further down.
I agree. Any pic that shows something while hiding another is becoming too common. Pics of the female bending over, showing her ass, while hiding her stomach, or pics from the nipples up.
Those are tell-tell signs that she doesn’t not have an appealing figure, most likely she has a stomach she wants to hide.
The same goes for men.
HV
