Deceiving Physical Attraction

DsCoupleFun quote: I get that some people will angle pics in an attempt to put their best possible foot forward, it's human nature. Getting all butthurt about it, why bother?

Simply because I rather not get duped into meeting someone that looks nothing like their pictures. As much as people talk about personality, when it comes down to it, you are looking for someone to sleep with.

Some may turn a blind eye to sleeping with someone they aren’t attracted to, I rather not. Call me being shallow, but it’s my sex life. I know what I bring to the table, and if you’re contacting me then it should be reciprocated. I have my degrees of attraction but being upfront is always the running theme. My pics are simple and straightforward. Profiles without any pics at all and others with abstract pics of body parts, are deceptive in nature.

Considering most ppl these days rather not show up for a meet, having properly taken pics, besides video, is the next best thing. Again call me shallow, but I’m not trying to sleep with any and everything.

HV

Completely agree. Being fooled by great angles is becoming easy to do. If they don't show anything from the nipples down good chance it only gets worse further down. Where are the men? My wife loves women, and there are alot of hot bi women out there but..... she also likes more meat. If the mans pic is not present we tend to move on. We have never been surprised by a hot guy whose pic was not on the opening profile pics.

"...if you request me as couple/female to play, why can’t I get the same courtesy of you being upfront about your physical features."

The answer is:

You can get it, you should get it, and if you don't get it, you should assume that there is a reason...and that reason is not good for you.

Sorillo, all these prophecies are giving me a headache and making me nervous...LOL

Now, our photos are older...and recent, seems she just dont age! and the only time I use software on photos is to balance lighting and such...boy have I seen some really bad (poor quality) photos on here! I also agree that we have been surprised by the differences between shared photos and the reality of meeting in person...some good surprises...some very bad.

IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY

forget about pics they are all a lie and just meet for a drink. at this time you will get to know the people who you might be fucking

So many couples and singles get caught up in trying to put the image forward that compliments them the most.
We have had couples that seriously airbrushed their photos as well as doing the magically slimming style of taking pics by holding the camera over your head.
Truthful its very frustrating. So much of this lifestyle is about attraction. So just post a normal pic thats honest about your figure and unedited by software settings. Its the initial attraction that makes people reach and and say lets meet for dinner or drinks.
However as much as we want this and think its common sense. It has the same chance of happening as finding all the profiles suddenly have pics of both partners in the public folder or private folder.

Attitude is far more sexy than a perfect beach body IMO. I get that some people will angle pics in an attempt to put their best possible foot forward, it's human nature. Getting all butthurt about it, why bother? I've met people I thought were not very attractive and was pleasantly surprised that their pics didn't do them justice, as well as others who openly defy the laws of physics if you believe their stats.

To me, it's all the same- life is a box of chocolates and all that. If someone finds me attractive and wants to play, I'm generally open so long as they aren't dirty or smelly, and are generally chill, polite, and are sex positive.

The only surprise I've really encountered here is people who judge harshly when you aren't into exactly what they are, and the men here who treat their women like trading cards- I'm sorry but your mickey mantle card is not worth a babe ruth card; she's (mickey mantle) a wonderful person married to a scumbag looking to trade up.

I try to keep fairly up to date photos available in my profile, but I also keep many of the older ones to indicate things I have done and enjoyed in the past...

We decided from the beginning when getting our profile together that the pictures would be an accurate representation of us at this time. There would be no question who we were. We’re not supermodels, we are just an average couple. We have great personalities and we love to have fun. That seems to make up for a lot. That’s fine. I will agree with many on here that there does need to be attraction. Otherwise it will not work, regardless of personality.

We met a couple at a restaurant and the man went to the restroom, We told the lady immediately, sorry not interested and left before the guy came out of the restroom, we wouldn't have even be able to sit at a table and eat with them, both so unattractive.....

Pcbguy: the jilted party comment; “useless SM”

I agree.

As a single male, it’s a if you’re supposed to take what’s offered you and deal with it. If you decline then something is wrong with you because you don’t want to continue the interaction. Telling another man that you don’t want to sleep with his wife, is probably embarrassing as hell for the husband.

By denying his wife, you basically say that his wife isn’t good enough for you, and from that he feels as he has to defend her honor. Either he berates you in public or behind close doors.

Couples reject single males everyday,and it’s nothing; but when a single male rejects a couple, it’s totally different.

In both scenarios the single guy is the issue. He’s the asshole. Or he’s too picky. Or as PCBGUY said it: useless.

HV

As polite as we may want to be, there is no polite way to say "the desire ain't there" Couples are especially challenging as too often the guy tries to either close the deal for the gal, or takes offense. As so many here have said, all you can really say is " I've enjoyed meeting you both and wish you the best in your search . . . ". With single women I have found that often if there is no chemistry it is mutual, and we just part ways. However when she wants to and I don't feel it (or other red flags starts flying) I have found it best to simply part ways saying a white lie like " I like you too much for this type of relationship" or if necessary to be painfully blunt and say " you are very nice but I regrettably do not want to proceed . . . . ". I always assume that when it does not work out the "jilted" party will simply chalk it up to me being another "useless SM". As I said, there really is no polite way.

As a male, I think it’s easy to turn down a couple if you’re not interested. Options are:

1. I can’t perform without attraction.
2. The wife isn’t what you expected
3. Based on pictures, you feel as if they misrepresented themselves

HV

Thank goodness we are busy with some things and for no things for the next couple months and are in absolutely no hurry to be disappointed; it helps prevent us from being superfluously judgmental against the 99% of the community that misrepresent themselves.

~Allen

We have not really had an issue with this one. Although we have met couples and there has not been attraction with regard to one or more of the parties involved. Personally, this works in my favor since I am not photogenic. I look better in person.

I agree that people should be up front and present themselves as who they are and you are correct, you can filter out many flaws. I think though, that it is human nature to want to present yourself in the best light possible. I don't see any point in posting photos that are not flattering to either person in the couple.

Not certain what you would like people to do here---I would think you could only doctor up to 10-20 pounds. That isn't enough to make that big of a difference, and I don't necessarily blame people for not posting revealing photos or not sharing those type of photos up front.

Huh. I've probably gotten really lucky then, because there's only been one follow-up why that I can remember and he took it without further comment. But faced with any sort of whining, I would lose my very good manners quite quickly and default to being significantly more blunt than a hammer.

True story about misrepresentation: Once upon a time, I tried vanilla on-line dating. I don't remember the site, but the results confirmed my feeling that dating was a very inefficient way to obtain sex and therefore not for me. I had coffee with a man who described himself as tall and buff. He turned out to be about 5'5" and something over 300 pounds. I'm familiar with the way people can lie to themselves about their physical appearance, but how do you not know you're short? I have a good poker face, but when he waddled my way I had to cough into my arm to hide the laugh.

"of course there were the times people wanted to know why not. i learned really early on there simply is no graceful way to answer those folks. and the fact they would even ask “why not” was a huge red flag and never ended well."

Been there. Done that. Got the restraining ord....... errrr, T-Shirt.

But seriously, I absolutely agree. The "why not" question is a red flag. Every time I've been dumb enough to answer the question, I received invective and vitriol in return. It doesn't matter how polite you are, it's an invitation to foaming-mouthed obscenities, insults and screaming.

Personally, for us, its very simple...people are crazy, selfish and deceptive, now this may seem harsh, but no one is altruistic about sex and connections in the lifestyle, we all want what we like and dont want to deal with what we dont like, we all want, to some degree, to be wanted and desired, but "putting your best foot forward" and making that great first impression has gone to the extreme in all walks of life.
My wife is the picky one, me? I'm more accepting and open to "variety" within reason.
I guess we are exceptions to the rule because our stats are current and accurate, there are THREE photos with me (the husband) in our open gallery ;-), blurred faces are only in the open gallery (her rules) due to her profession, the first paragraph of our profile is (we think) open and honest about what we are looking for and also what we (she) is not interested in.
Despite our honesty and clarity and mostly full body photos, we still constantly get asked for access to the other galleries and contact/offers from those well outside our desired age and physical interests...yet they all claim to love our profile (and have 2 or less photos of their own).
We see the lifestyle as "sport fucking", we take our time, we are critical of our choices and never play on first meeting...to each their own, if we politely say we arent interested in you or you tell us you arent interested in me, her or both...it aint the end of the world, we move on and figure other grown ups should easily do so too.

Why not? "Chemistry is either there or it isn't and I'm not feeling any chemistry." It's polite, it's usually at least partially true, and it's fairly impersonal, which leaves everyone with an easy way to still feel good about themselves.

I do roughly the same thing as njny, saying I don't feel a three way match with a couple and that I'm not feeling a connection with men. I thank everyone for their time as part of it. Where I differ is that I'm quite blunt if I'm interested, saying I'd like to see them again if they decide they're interested. And then I leave.

Would you please indulge me for a moment? GoodGolly wrote: "And develop the skills that will allow you to meet a couple and then politely decline if you aren't feeling it." I'm interested in hearing how some of you (SM, SF, Couples) handle politely declining once you have met in person.

ROTFLMAO @ Sorillo... Aka, Sir Lance A Lot...or Sir Lance As Often As Possible, as the case may be...

BT

As for profile photos, in lieu of a puppet, or a lady friend whose mouth moves when you put your hand up her skirt, I recommend opting for the martini glass threesome.

The fact that often there are a million pix of the wife and almost no pix of the husband is an ongoing problem. Often there are zero to two pix total of him, and I can't really tell how fit her is or what he really looks like. Very frustrating.

"But there's also a lot of mutual fun to be had with a chubby, happy, confident woman who simply doesn't care what people think. "

Oh, good. That means there's hope for me. ;-)

"But that breakdown of it being the husband sending those messages, is eye opening. I thought the point of swinging was for a husband to see his wife be pleased, not for the husband to be pleased while watching the man sleep with his wife. Too many times (for me) has it seemed as if the husband was more turned on about seeing my member than he was about his wife’s orgasm. That’s disturbing especially if the husband claims that he’s heterosexual."

He most likely is heterosexual.

Men are interested in MFMs for a variety of reasons. A lot are probably into it for the same reason I loved watching my former partner - it's exciting watching someone you love please and be pleased. For others, they very much want their partner to be pleased and it's also important to have reclaiming sex after, a demonstration of sperm competition in action. For others, it's the humiliation and/or titillation of having your wife fucked by a man with a bigger dick and has little to nothing to do with her pleasure. Hell, maybe it's all three of those things in various concentrations, along with 86 other things.

Dunno. I only know that I'd bet a large chunk of my children's inheritance that 99 out of a hundred of those requests for photos and videos of you showing your business and what it can do are from men. I'd also make a side bet that most of those 99 get excited by knowing your dick is bigger than theirs.

Yeah, I was just looking for an excuse to use that King of England joke. Sue me.