Deceiving Physical Attraction

Extreme camera angles, body part photos, 0 lbs, no photos etc. The common thread that I see isn't as much deceit as a cripplingly neurotic lack of self-confidence. That's seriously un-sexy, a total boner-kill.

Look, if I had to state a physical preference, I'm partial to tall, athletic brunettes. But there's also a lot of mutual fun to be had with a chubby, happy, confident woman who simply doesn't care what people think. Personality goes a long way.

Don't get me wrong, I ain't no saint. Any tall, athletic, brunettes who also happen to be neurotic with a no self-confidence? If they're actually willing to have me, anyone who pulled me out of her would be crowned King of England.

Couples that send inappropriate emails on the first exchange never hear from me. Lol

But that breakdown of it being the husband sending those messages, is eye opening. I thought the point of swinging was for a husband to see his wife be pleased, not for the husband to be pleased while watching the man sleep with his wife. Too many times (for me) has it seemed as if the husband was more turned on about seeing my member than he was about his wife’s orgasm. That’s disturbing especially if the husband claims that he’s heterosexual.

I never seem to have trouble with couples where the wife is actively involved, it seems. Info is forthcoming and more accurate.

I guess it’s something to think about.

Thanks goodgolly

HV

I agree be honest. Now I don't immediately as for pics but I've been disappointed in person before.

"I don’t know how it is for single females, but I know that for me that game is played. I get requested to send pic after pic, or video of me in “action”, and for what? So the husband and wife can have something to look at? But they can’t deliver on my request.

The same inappropriate emails that wives/females get from single guys are the same ones I get from couples. “Show me what’s hanging mister” or “Mama likes what she sees, can I see”. I get it. I get the short end of the stick. I’m a single guy, whoopty doo."

I'm going to guess that 99 out of a hundred of those requests are generated by the husband and driven by a thing I will never understand, which is how some straight men are fascinated by other men's dicks.

When I get emails from couples where the profile does not include a photo of him, I just politely decline. Same for profiles where the only photos are of a woman in pieces. Bathroom selfies or those that sport boxer briefs and a hard on get the same treatment. It's not the content or lack thereof that drives that automatic decision. I've just learned that those are markers for couples or singles with whom I won't click. So, thanks but no thanks.

Any demands in any email, even if I think the chemistry would otherwise be awesome, result in either a lack of any further responses or a yeah, never mind, turns out we wouldn't be a match.

And that's all a roundabout way of saying that instead of thinking they should give something approaching what they're demanding, you might consider that you've just been saved some time and energy deciding if they're a match, because they aren't.

Goodgolly

I totally understand your point. Some qualities that may seem unattractive maybe the same qualities that you fall in love with or wind up enjoying in the end.

That happens. I have been in situations where one woman’s personality overshadowed her attributes over another who physical features were more appealing. But in those cases, I had a good representation of how they looked beforehand and “I”made the decision to see who was a better fit for me.

Being courteous should be a given. I’m not asking for ‘pic for a pic’, but at least one current pic should be enough for me justify whether I’m willing to move forward with the interaction.

I don’t know how it is for single females, but I know that for me that game is played. I get requested to send pic after pic, or video of me in “action”, and for what? So the husband and wife can have something to look at? But they can’t deliver on my request.

The same inappropriate emails that wives/females get from single guys are the same ones I get from couples. “Show me what’s hanging mister” or “Mama likes what she sees, can I see”. I get it. I get the short end of the stick. I’m a single guy, whoopty doo.

But if you can’t provide a visual of what you have to offer to a potential partner, why are you here?

Yes I can be picky. But so can anyone else. I do believe if you’re open about you have to offer, you easily put yourself in a position to be picky. No one wants to take one for the team on their own accord. And why should you.

This is your sex life. Lol

HV

I can sometimes tell when I won't be attracted, but I can never tell from photos if I will be. I once worked with a man so beautiful that women walked into things when he was around. He was even smart and funny. Nothing. As far as my brain was concerned, he didn't exist. Instead, a few months later, I got a new co-worker. Blue eyes (no, please), snub nose (ditto), pleasantly ugly face. I married the second guy,and resigned myself to blue-eyed children.

To your point of "shouldn't it go both ways," maybe. But not for reasons of reciprocal courtesy. Instead, consider using it as one of your sorting factors and nope out without any discussion on any potential playmates where that information is not forthcoming or seems unreliable.

Being black, hung and having a beautiful body means you have some advantages that will allow you to be super picky (while remaining courteous to those who don't make the cut) and still have a pretty full calendar. So, maybe do that.

And develop the skills that will allow you to meet a couple and then politely decline if you aren't feeling it.

We are in 100% agreement HV. For us it all starts with a physical attraction then personality can either seal the deal or send us packing. If a potential partner(s) pics are misleading or outdated or they refuse to reveal more than a picture of a random leg, breast or lip, we figure they are hiding something.

There are some couples who maintain the double standard that a SM must jump through hoops while couples deserve to be fawned over. We consider us all to be equal and only ask what we are willing to offer in return. Current face and body pics are provided and expected. Those not willing to do so will likely be a waste of time to meet.

~S~

As a single male (I can’t speak for couples), the biggest problem I have is with couples, where the wife may not be attractive or as appealing as described in the profile, and they aren’t forthcoming with info.

The profile consists of vague pics. You know them all to well: the close up of the breasts, the booty pic, lips, legs and feet, nails, or eyes. And not one decent pic of the wife/woman in a fitting dress or in something that gives you an idea of how she looks. But they’re requesting a pic of my “member”, body pics, and of me in clothing. Lol

Has anyone else dealt with this?

In honesty, I refuse to be bamboozled into meeting a couple/female that I have no attraction to, and feel trapped to speak with or sleep with.

HV

RonKathy

Some may not call SLS a “sex site” due to the negative connotation, but in reality that’s what it is. It a site that allows for couples to hook up with other couples and singles. Some couples and singles want friendship and all, but if sex wasn’t a factor they would be on a different site.

I agree with you.

You want to be physically attracted to the person you’re sharing your body with. I must be physically attracted to you to open up my schedule to meet you and I must be attracted to you to sleep with you. Physical attraction is in the mix.

So whether or not you decide to open up about your physical attributes, either benefits or hurts your chances of being with me.

And if you’re requesting me for fun, why is me asking for a visual of what you have to offer to me, a problem?

If you’re self conscious about showing what you have to offer, but have no issue asking for it, then why should I waste my time with you?

HV

There are so many factors that go into attraction. The problem with pics is that they are mostly not true and outdated. We have given up on pics and stats. In our day and age everyone les as a matter of course. The last tourist group party we went to showed pics of three fit women. In real live two where forty pounds over weight and one was twenty.

We have found that the couples with no experience and no certs all want body pics. It seem like the husband is trying to talk the wife into swinging.

We meet for drink after talking on the phone. This gives us the personally and confidence of the people before we meet and then its all about chemistry. One thing that is not attractive to women is if a man thinks he is gods gift to women because he has a big cock or he is black. Nice respectful men that worship women will get a man laid every time.

I’m not saying that going through pics should be the only way to seek attraction, I’m just simply saying that good pics allows others to get a better idea of who you are.

I have a pet peeve I guess: I hate when profiles say “she’s/I’m thick” but clearly they’re not. Or when the weight stat doesn’t match up with the pics.

If you’re planning to sleep with me naked, you look at my profile, have good idea of what I have offer; shouldn’t that go both ways?

HV

Goodgolly

I understand your point. Requesting for coffee would eliminate the need for pics, but if meeting for coffee was more convenient than going through someone pics, everyone would be doing it.

And I agree you can’t fully access attraction through pictures, but in my opinion you can gauge it in a sense.

That’s probably one of the reasons we prefer profiles with pics than a Gumby. But it allows to gauge some sort of attractiveness. But a deceiving pic is as bad if not worse than a Gumby, in my opinion,

HV

Are you wrong? No. Will your request sit wrong with others? Yes, some. Do you care? You'll have to decide that for yourself.

I can't determine attraction from a photo, so it's immaterial to me. Nobody has ever objected to a request to meet for coffee, even though I'm clear it's just coffee. The point is that I'm asking for essentially the same information - could I be attracted to you? - but doing so in a way that doesn't put anyone off.

You get to decide what suits your needs. Just understand that the choices you make can open or close opportunities.

"Where is the common courtesy"
It left by way of "common sense".

Physical appearance is very important to me. I have no desire to kiss or fuck a frog.

Physical attraction in the LS has importance. Depending on how important, is up to you as an individual. I believe in being upfront about my attributes and having my pics and stats reflect that. But what irks me is that if you request me as couple/female to play, why can’t I get the same courtesy of you being upfront about your physical features. On some these profiles people use angles and camera tricks to deceive, but can’t take a simple frontal-neck-down selfie of them in underwear/in their skimpies to save their life.

Am I wrong for asking for a body pic, if the profile doesn’t give any, after they requested me to play, after going through my profile and seeing what I have to offer from all angles?

Where is the common courtesy?

In my opinion, it’s fair to the other person, if you give them a good representation of yourself, and allow them to decide their attraction to you, rather than you deceiving them.

So many profiles have outdated pics and info, including angled photos that don’t tell the whole story.

Any thoughts?

HV