Certs and how important??

“What’s my IP”

Never thought of asking for that.

Calcan,

Open up to single males?!? Oh, heck no! We ain’t crazy.

Even though our profile shows as no interest we still get occasional messages from single guys.
Got one this morning with the classic “Hey”, which is in some ways worse than the crass wild and sexy guy comments. At least the crass guys show some effort.

hotluvrs - understandable, but your profile also doesn't show any interest in single males. Open that up, and see if you change your tune on that.

Regarding the private image request, I’ve started responding with “thanks for your interest in our pictures/profile. We are open to conversation prior to sharing”

I don’t want to block people prematurely. Some of those folks requesting access may simply be new and may not know any better.

For "single guys", another method we use is wait until the chat gets going pretty strong and then ask them to screen capture what their "what's my IP" is on Google. Then look up whether or not they're just some slob living in their mom's basement thousands of miles away. If they take too long to come back with that after a rapid chat, then they're probably scrambling to figure out how to find a proxy or internet image they can use to cover their story.

It never ceases to amaze us how lazy and expecting people can be when it comes to basic communication and sharing of photos. Our profile is probably viewed by many as an overshare. We have plenty of detail, and plenty of photos. If we had a nickle for every profile over the years that has simply asked for more photos from us, when their profile has no info and no photos. To the original topic, the less a member has on their profile, the more important certs are to us.

hotluvrs -
-
Agreed. Seems there really isn't any perfect solution. We just have our preferences. As do others. Matching preferences, after all, is what sites like this are about. ;)

Mayhem - agreed on how to use that feature politely. We got an automated request to make privates available from a couple. They didn't send any other message and didn't have their privates open for us. They did look like a decent match and close by, so I opened one private gallery with limited pics in it and responded with a brief message and told them I gave them access to some pics. They responded with another automated request for private pics access and no other message. After that, I just removed their access to that private gallery and didn't respond.

@Couple - I think that's a button on the SLS App, but can't confirm because I don't have nor do I want that app on my phone.

Also, it's considered rude by many to "push that button" without having some sort of prior dialog. Some will block you for making a request like that with no prior communication of any kind.

Hey this is just a general question not related to this thread specifically, how do send a private image access request to another member?

We’ve asked people in the past for a “thumbs up” photo, or something similar. It’s mostly worked, although we have had push back from some grumpy couples. To us it seemed like a an easy and simple enough request, although for folks who only use SLS to communicate it can be a problem due to SLS’s photo policies.

Sorry, we stepped away and are just getting back to the replies!

hotluvrs:
Of course. We have many methods, but tend to go with photos most times. If a profile seems suspicious, we usually ask for a photo of the couple (together) or single giving a thumbs up. Corny idea, yeah. But those not willing to partake, we've found, are either fake, or perhaps have photos on their profiles that don't best represent their current appearances. And if they deny that request for other reasons, then no harm no foul. We're just not a fit. Moving on, and enjoy your lifestyle experience.

888eatme888:
Sorry for misreading your post! ;)

pcbguy01830:
To each their own. We're not judging. Just describing what we've found works best for us. As said, we haven't accepted many requests ourselves. You've accepted at least two (same as us), so maybe not so different.

Certs are so so. I avoided giving or receiving for years. Most confirm you showed up. But as many actually look at them I guess they mean something. That said my best experiences have been with SF and couples with none.

Bet this gets comments, smile

“ A cert or two, even from just people you've met at a party or something, goes a long way”

@Cal: I was actually in agreement with you in my previous post about meeting others in person.

:-)

~Allen

Calcan,

You say that you have other means which are effective. I’m just curious what those other means are. Do you mind sharing?

We always, always ask for all the things that verify validity before meeting. Especially since we usually meet separately. We hate video chat and group texting, but have other means that are just as effective.

NCSINGLEMALE and 888 -

In the 18 years we've been at this, we have a pretty solid vetting process. We're on several sites, including both having Tinder accounts, which are riddled with fake profiles and spam. We've become pretty adept at spotting fakes. The point is, we have plenty of options with singles and couples that we don't need to dig that deep to know whether or not they're legit. Why waste our time and extra risk on those we have to spend a lot of effort on to first gain that same initial level of comfort? Hard pass.

Group M&Gs can take care of validity in just getting out to meet others. Video or phone calls really don’t say anything like a good ole walk up, hand out for a introduction shake and a warm welcome; however, not everyone responds back as inviting, especially the conservatively nervous ones who think you’re there to immediately whisk them into a bedroom.

:-)

~Allen

Will have to say, that so many profiles ("single" guys especially) that reach out to us, and even many couples posters to these forums, need to consider improving the validity appearance of their profiles. A cert or two, even from just people you've met at a party or something, goes a long way in generating a little confidence up front that you aren't just a lonely husband living out a secret fantasy on your basement computer without the wife's knowledge.

We allowed a couple of certs here early on, but don't put them up anymore. We're on several sites and our certs and evidence of validity are out there for anyone keeping track. Having one or two certs is helpful in vetting a profile, but we don't feel it necessary to kiss and tell about everyone we've met or played with.

And when melted down, they're a floor wax!

They're a BREATH mint! No, they're a CANDY mint! STOP! You're both right!

Supply and demand and the minimal number of SF's versus couples and SMs that are looking for them make certs much less important for SFs. In my area, there were 26x more SMs than SFs and 2.5x more couples than SFs.

I'm sure there are exceptions, but as a general rule, I'm sure SFs can do just fine without them.

I personally don't want certs...i don't feel comfortable with them...but I have left certs...just my preference...

Frankly, too many certs is a turn off. A few quality ones ideal, but none is not a turn off. Discretion is important, but then I am only a lowly SM, lol