Bi Sexual Men

Isn't it the bi fluid what the straights averse to Bi males are trying to avoid? Of course condoms would help there, but you know...just sayin.

"At what point in life did curiosity end and aversion begin?"

For me the lack of curiosity ended when I discovered, around twenty, that the possibility of sexual interactions with men held no excitement or interest for me. The idea that the end of curiosity necessarily leads to aversion is just, in my view, silly. The only aversion I've experienced (I would use the words annoyance or resentment) came from the dishonesty involved and unwanted/uninvited touching. But then it pisses me off when anyone around me is the object of unwanted touching.

" So who is more likely to be honest, with himself and with others: the man who says he is straight but isn't "that straight"? or the one who claims he isn't even curious?"

Trick question. Neither. They're both liars, assuming the guy who "claims he isn't even curious is in fact curious. . What you seem to be losing in all your talk about dogs and cats is the fact that not everyone who "claims he isn't even curious" is, in fact, even remotely curious.

I cannot imagine never being curious. At what point in life did curiosity end and aversion begin?
It's almost analogous to people who like dogs, and therefore they cannot like cats. They can't just like dogs more than they like cats. Seems if you like animals that like people, you could like both. So who is more likely to be honest, with himself and with others: the man who says he is straight but isn't "that straight"? or the one who claims he isn't even curious? If you had a bad experience with a cat or a dog or a man or a woman, you may tell yourself you don't care for that, but eventually you might get over it.

I think the problem arises when people mix concepts which the vast majority of people recognize as subjective (such as "low drama" , "down to earth" "open minded", "experienced", "low circulation" etc.) with concepts that most people consider objective, or binary (such as "Caucasian" or "35 years old" or "condoms are a must for penetration" etc.). Despite the fact that there are some men on here who suggest they are "...straight but I just like to suck a guys cock from time to time.", the vast majority of people would consider them something other than straight, and frankly liars if they presented as straight. This seems to be the issue.

Good news! even SLS offers another choice: namely "Bi curious". For most people this is a subjective, not objective term, like "soft swap". Like "soft swap" it invites (or demands) further conversation. Maybe there are better or more politically correct terms they could use like "bi fluid" or some such. But bi curious is available, opens the door, and the discussion of a possible middle ground where some people will be comfortable and some won't.

I forgot to mention. Though it may harch but If we are not going to meet you our sexual preferances and prictices are really not your business. You can say anything you want about open and full disclosure but that can be in the first email.. You should be interested in people in your general area and the sex life of someone 1K miles away is not your concern. As I said, your profile is your advertiseing and if you list something you are not you may not be attracting people you are really looking for. I would not want to meet anyone who is phobic about bi men even if the play was to be protected hetero.

I agree, people should be open and honest with the first contact, As for the profile? well think of that as advertiseing, If you list as straight, don't be surprised if you are not getting many responces from bi people. If you list your wife as bi and she is not interested in other women, you need to correct that with first contact or be labeled a fake/ lier

I completely agree. 3 categories doesn't cover it but SLS insists on only giving us 3 categories to choose from. Since bi situation or heteroflexible aren't given as options on this site we rely on people being honest in their profiles or upon initial contact. It's the lack of up-front honesty that bothers us most.

~rabbit~

I agree with Vegascplexxx, you cannot put people into 3 neat little categories. I don't know what the answer is, but typical labels don't tell you much. People read into them what they want to.

Wow.

Defining human sexuality into 3 groups, hetero, bi, or gay is ridiculous. As humans, we are all uniquely different. It's really more like 50 shades of gray. There are a lot of people who even prefer to be denied sex, S/M. Then there are those guys who get off on girls popping balloons. You simply cannot put people into neat little categories.

What people say they are and who they really are can be quite different. There was a study done a few years ago where the connected men to electrodes and had them watch different types of porn. The men who were the most homophobic were turned on by gay porn. When you think about it makes perfect sense.

Then there is the Fear Factor. We all realized that many Americans have an irrational fear of something. The term for that is paranoia. Yes, there are STDs out there and you might catch one. The odds of an adult catching something at a swing party are astronomical, but certainly, it could happen. Unless you are participating in unprotected anal sex or shooting up IV drugs your chances of picking up something like HIV are extremely remote. There has to be blood to blood or blood to seamen contact. Do you normally bleed during sex? There has to be a way for the virus to enter the body. If you are staying up at night worrying about Herpies, you most likely have it! You just don't show the symptoms. In any case, Herpies is easy to control with medications just like most of the other STD's it's easy to cure with a few pills.

The real question is if you are living with this paranoia, why are you even thinking about being in this lifestyle?

And there you have it, right?

People are certainly entitled to their preferences. However, we should be careful about citing a percentage taken out of context while ignoring the overall numbers. Lumping gay and bisexual men into one category is also misleading.

From the CDC, the number of bisexual men diagnosed with syphilis in 2017 was 1,783. That's in the entire United States. By contrast, 3,722 women were diagnosed with the disease that year. And Syphilis is treated with an antibiotic.

Compare that with herpes type 2 where 20% of the adult population by age 40 is positive for the disease. That's over 30 million people. And Herpes has no cure.

@funlyfriend I completely agree

LOL :)

Bisexual deranged syndrome

Directly from the CDC website:

"Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) have been rising among gay and bisexual men, with increases in syphilis being seen across the country. In 2014, gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men accounted for 83% of primary and secondary syphilis cases where sex of sex partner was known in the United States. "

Extrapolate anything anyway you like. I said 80% of reported cases of syphilis was from men who had sex with other men, please, point out my math error?

CurrentRider said:

“Gay and bisexual men to a high degree don't use condoms and gay and bisexual men, together with IV drug users are STILL, all these decades later the core of the HIV epidemic.

Please don't shoot the messenger regarding the last sentence above, which is fact no matter how baffling. Please do feel free to argue the following: I believe the prevalence of HIV among gay and bi sexual men is a very significant reason why many people are uncomfortable playing with Bi men.”

What I WILL argue is: “....Why is there so much negativity from men regarding condom use?”

I believe this is almost universally intuitive. Every man who uses condoms KNOWS THAT, all things considered, condoms reduce felt sensitivity during sex; vaginal or anal. Plus the “logistics” of condom use reduces the passion of the moment......that’s it, unless the issue of latex allergy blows the whole thing up (there are of course, non-latex condoms).

I’M NOT ADVOCATING abandoning condom use, I’m just saying that it’s no mystery as to why men don’t like using condoms when having anal sex with women or men.....reduced sensitivity and trying to achieve adequate lubrication. DO Use Condoms! With anal sex, even if men do not contract a STD, they have a high possibility of contracting some other, common “dripping-dick” urinary tract infection.

ALSO, DNLB suggests that:

“.......but according to the CDC 80% of men with reported cases of syphilis had sex with other men. Like playing Russian roulette with 4 in the chamber?”

DNLB’s comment SUGGESTS, or leads one to think, that 67% of all men who have sex with other men, contract syphilis. That isn’t what the CDC report says. Reread your statement, extrapolate from your example and do the math.

SLO

Finally... 'current'... has pointed out the elephant in the room. Why did it take so long people? So much dancing around it before. I've been waiting for someone to answer these threads with some truth. Thank you.

Considering that the topic is people's dishonesty one would doubt that anyone expected a bright, uplifting commentary, right?

This thread has become a real downer...I guess we all who are bi are like the plague.....

HIV is the scariest, but according to the CDC 80% of men with reported cases of syphilis had sex with other men. Like playing Russian roulette with 4 in the chamber? So when people are willfully and intentionally dishonest about their sexual preference or anything related, some people choose to avoid them, and are castigated for it.

"Fun couple...ever here about condoms? "

Once upon a time (and by that I mean back in the 1980s at the dawn of the aids epidemic) there were a few outspoken gay activists that suggested that condom use was an attempt to push back against the newfound open expression of consensual and free sexual expression (there was an overwhelming preponderance of evidence at the time that suggested condom use could reduce the spread of aids - cause unknown but then suspected as a virus). Once this attitude was unequivocally exposed as self destructively naïve it has always baffled me the extent to which gay men, statistically speaking, fail to practice safe sex. The self reported data un this is clear. Gay and bisexual men to a high degree don't use condoms and gay and bisexual men, together with IV drug users are STILL, all these decades later the core of the HIV epidemic.

Please don't shoot the messenger regarding the last sentence above, which is fact no matter how baffling. Please do feel free to argue the following: I believe the prevalence of HIV among gay and bi sexual men is a very significant reason why many people are uncomfortable playing with Bi men.

I'm all for whatever a person wants to experience in the lifestyle. My comment was not meant to be disparaging. If I were curious in experiencing MM activities, I would be most at ease with another married guy who didn't have a long history of sex with other men... especially anal... and those activities would likely be limited to oral. I have a feeling there are a lot of guys (and girls) who would feel this way.

Fun couple...ever here about condoms?

RE: Funcouple.. You said it perfect. Only thing most women like about me are my clothes and jewelry...Oh but what a wonderful weekend I had with them.....Mary Jo

Reason people aren't always attracted to Bi guys, is that many women find men who are masculine in the traditional sense attractive... and when she pictures a man with another guy... it's emasculating... and she's no longer attracted.

Plus, the most effective way of transmitting HIV is through anal sex... so guys who have sex with other men are seen to be a lot more risky than straight guys.

The double standard is indeed real. Men tend to think a woman having sex with another female is HOT! Women tend to think men having sex with each other is NOT. (with some exceptions of course)