Bi Sexual Men

Travel: "I only spoke to those who don’t want to advertise that, because they are seen as the bottom of the list (in regards to where they are invited or allowed).... If those people want to tell you in private. Again TELL YOU. Be open. Be up front. Directly to you.

Well then I don’t call that a liar. It’s not their responsibility to tell every stranger everything in some big announcement. I don’t deem them liars or untrustworthy."

Let's swap the term HIV+ for bi-male and see if you think it's dishonest or lying. Is it OK for someone who is HIV+ to "not advertise that" so they can get invited to a party? What if they decide it's ok just to feel you out to see if you sway that way? Do HIV+ people have a responsibility to "make some big announcement" knowing that it may cause you to decide against having sex with them?

2much: you keep repeating this and you're not reading the response: we're talking about people who don't reveal their orientation in their profile, during chats or conversation, but then during actual contact they decide that it's acceptable to "test the waters" with someone who has repeatedly and adamantly said they do not want that interaction. The fact that so many here are defending that and saying that to not accept the approach is hateful or demonstrative of some irrational fear is very telling. Go back through and count the uses of the word "hate, fear or phobic" and tell me I'm wrong.

Yes, we have conversations, and yes, we have had guys who have attempted to initiate male to male sexual contact afterwards. That is why we feel that it's an issue worth taking a stance on. If you don't like the stance that's fine, disagree all you like, have sex with all the bi-guys you can find, it doesn't matter a bit, but don't try to convince me that my preference is incorrect or that I don't have a legitimate right to express my opinion.

Comparing gay people coming out of the closet with bi guys in the LS lying about their preferences is apples and hand grenades.

I don't care if a coworker or neighbor is gay or if they are "out", I don't plan on having sex with them so there is no honesty issue. It's none of my business and their sexual oriantaion is irrelevant.

However, the orientation of the male half of a couple we meet for sex IS relevant and it is their responsibility to let us know, either in their profile or in correspondence before we meet.

I can't believe this is still up for debate.

~Scamp

Do you guys really not have any conversation about your ground rules before you get naked with people you just met?

I’m very specific in what I said.

First off, I have stated many times that if they lie to you, then you have every right to be mad, not like that person, or even go further. If someone did that to me, we’d be having a physical altercation. I see NOTHING right about someone trying to fool you into sex or essentially raping someone by hopping on your dick without consent.

I only spoke to those who don’t want to advertise that, because they are seen as the bottom of the list (in regards to where they are invited or allowed).... If those people want to tell you in private. Again TELL YOU. Be open. Be up front. Directly to you.

Well then I don’t call that a liar. It’s not their responsibility to tell every stranger everything in some big announcement. I don’t deem them liars or untrustworthy. I don’t let that fact trickle down into “oh well what else would they lie about?” The same way I don’t do it when women bullshit me about being bi. Then I bring a friend for couple play and oops, she’s not really into anything but touching. Shit that’s tricking us for sex. But I don’t see the threads on that topic

I will always have my ears up naturally when I see a group of people picked on. Every bi guy isn’t the bi guy who hurt you (not you per say). Some of them are truly scared to make that announcement and aren’t trying to rape their way to your husband.

And why does this hit me so hard. Cause I watched my gay sister spiral into turmoil cause she had fear of coming out. To think someone would have called her a liar and questioned her integrity because of it is shameful in my eyes

Rider, are you str8 or bi?

@travelvet

Others have used "hate" and "disgust" and "phobia" in their replies, you stated "...maybe we shouldn't be trying to condemn them as pieces of shit...". Where have we condemned or hated on anyone for being bi?

It's the dishonesty that bothers us. Period. Some want to compare this to people lying about their weight or age and that is also annoying but we can see those physical attributes when we meet and make a decision if we want to get naked or not. A bi guy who says nothing until play has started has been intentionally dishonest and that is beyond annoying.

Oh and the suggestion that it is our responsibility to ask the guy if he is bi is absurd. "BTW, I see you list as straight but I thing you are a liar."

But hey, maybe it's just us that think honesty is important.

~Scamp

2much: maybe you haven't noticed that nearly every post contains the words hate or fear?

Its pathetic. Stop projecting, be who you are and move on, the proselytizing is ridiculous.

" I do not consider someone NOT posting as gay/bi to be a lie to you."

Well, I guess we can agree to disagree. I think someone posting as straight and then feeling free to suck my dick without asking is both a lying motherfucker and a creepy motherfucker.

@Rabbit
The first problem here is I never once used the word HATE nor DISGUSTED... not a single time. But you said something about hate twice, back to back.. Sooooooo a little freudian slip maybe?? LOL

I said exactly the words that I've seen here. Liar, untrustworthy, if you'd lie about this than....... And to me.. If you think someone is the type to lie about anything, is untrustworthy and is trying to trick you into believe they are straight to sleep with women, then yeeaaaaa. That person is generally a piece of shit.

I cruise the forums more than anything. This bi thing comes up in like 5-6 categories. Like it's an epidemic. And the threads are usually some of the longest. And even when that person is up front, they still are told "well if you hide this, then you are untrustworthy and what else will you lie about. So we don't want you around"

So you don't want them around if they announce it, you don't want them around if they tell you, and you definitely don't want them around if they surprise you mid act.... Seems people just don't want them around. Only men. Everyone loves bi women. I've only seen one thread on why women fake bi to get couples sex.

So therefore, I can see why they wouldn't want to broadcast that on their profile. You don't have to like ANYONE. I'm a single male, who is black. You think I don't go on pages and see "no black men. no single men. no interracial. same race only" Of course. I understand. What is strange to me is someone loving everything they see, everything they hear, until they say, "I kissed a guy in high school" then they are suddenly disgusting to you. The only preference there is preferring they not be gay/bi

DNLB:

If a person shows up to a M&G and looks like Sasquatch the couple would feel deceived and that the offender has lied to them.

But that is not the case here. To be more accurate in your analogy you are fearful that someone will show up looking all shaved and smooth everywhere and then when the clothes come off suddenly sprout hair everywhere like teen wolf (woo hoo 80s reference)

Bi guys don't look any different than other guys. There are really only three reasons why they are ruled out instantly by many couples:

1) They fear the bi guys will make a move on the man (this one happened to your guy and it is absolutely not cool)
2) If a couple is playing without condoms, there is a fear bi guys will be more likely to have a disease.
3) Some have an inherent dislike for bi or gay people and don't want to have sex with them because they do not approve of that lifestyle.

That being said, I have no problem with your preferences and no one else should either. You don't owe anyone anything. You do you.

Something one guy said almost a month ago in an internet forum is still grating on you?

Or simply respecting peoples preferences without calling it hate or fear?

How about just talking to people to make sure everyone's cool before the lights go out?

that7: "aversion to same-sex contact"

It's my preference, I have that right. When people label it as a phobia, fear, a prejudice or hateful discrimination in an attempt to make themselves feel better I feel the need correct them. If a lady isn't attracted to a guy or another lady because they are overly hairy that's acceptable. They often state that in their preferences. If a person shows up to a M&G and looks like Sasquatch the couple would feel deceived and that the offender has lied to them. This feeling can be exponential If the hirsute person has carefully hidden this attribute and ignored the preferences in the non-hair-liking persons stated preferences until the lights go out, and expresses that they actually like hair-pie but are in denial, and they would see it differently if they simply try it, which justifies their concealment of the fur.

If nominally hairy people were to join in and lambasted the person who prefers smoother pastures because after all, we all have some hair and shouted "how dare you hate people who are more follically flamboyant? " y'all would be laughing your ass off.

"those individuals were unforgivably rude and out of line"

I must've missed something.

Thank you for your reply and again those individuals were unforgivably rude and out of line.

No matter what's in (or not in) anyone's profile we make sure the rules have been discussed (in person) before the clothes hit the floor.

We've never had a problem.

Yes, at that time we would have met them. We played with couples with bisituational men before and everything was fine because they understood Scamp is straight.

We didn’t think at that time to ask either couple (less than a month apart) if the guy was really straight. We took them at their word.

We often bring up the subject now though since, apparently, it’s becoming more common to assume straight guys might like to try it. Even a lot of the guys that openly list as bi seem to have that attitude so now we avoid them altogether.

~rabbit~

I agree rabbit...those types of moves are fucked up and shouldn't be tolerated. But that upfront honesty you want can be given during the initial communication between you and the other party.

So why is it so vital that it be posted in their profile?

If it were in their profile with the notation that Bi play is excluded unless asked for by the other party would you have been open to meeting them?

TravelVet- you keep saying that people are angry at bi guys, hate them or think they are pieces of shit.

Where in this entire thread did anyone state they were angery, hated, were disgusted by, or said anything disparaging at all about bi guys?

You keep saying that people should only feel that way if they were lied to or tricked. We’ve been tricked twice by guys listing as straight and then putting the moves on Scamp after the clothes came off.

Guess what? We still don’t think bi guys are pieces of shit. We simply think they should be upfront and honest about it and actually take other people listing as straight seriously.

~rabbit ~

Give ya a different perspective (from a bi male). We’ve enjoyed an occasional MFM, FMF and rare MMF (always play safe) but our experience has been that ‘advertising the possibility of bi’ limits you opportunities with a straight couple/male. We respect EVERYONES boundaries. If we have common interests we explore them. No different than someone being into bondage but doesn’t ‘advertise’ it in their profile. Let’s all just have safe fun ??

@Rider

That's why I specifically said, I can only see the anger if you were tricked or lied to. I do not consider someone NOT posting to the world, that they are gay/bi, as a lie to you. If they message you, come out as bi or curious, then they'd given you the truth. So why people in this thread would then deem those same people as liar, untrustworthy, what else will you lie about, fake this and that.... It's a little telling on what the real problem is.

Nobody applies this to any other lies. Hey we had to tell the kids we went out to the movies instead of the swinger party... Oh well if you'd lie about that.............. Like the most recent poster said.. People are on their profile telling lie after lie after lie after lie. That is not your height, weight, looks, and your wife isn't even really bi.. But I don't see any threads about them lying their asses off and how you'd never play with someone who lied about their weight

All I'm saying is either be honest, or say you don't like gay people. We all know why they do it (hide)... They've been hiding in society since the beginning of time. And the reason why hasn't changed. There was a man from my hometown who killed himself this month after admitting he was gay on social media and being ridiculed.

All I'm saying is, maybe we shouldn't be trying to condemn them as pieces of shit UNLESS they are trying to trick you up

Well it's ok to lie just a bit about your precise location; and ok to not update your age right away, or a weight change; err high on your dick size and your stamina; and say you will gladly drive 3 hours with no expectations.

Some of these may be lying to oneself, I may be "curious" one day and not the next. Nobody blows up over any of this.
It's not about "honesty", guys. It is about your aversion to same-sex contact.

That is precisely why its an issue! Guys who are bi on the sly often think that things bumping in the dark are a green light and then it is ok if they stop when corrected.

We simply prefer to avoid any confusion, we can do that, we are clear about it, so if someone lies about their persuasions and that's revealed at an inopportune moment they will be made very aware of the seriousness of the situation. I really don't understand why anyone would think it would be ok?