Age Range On YOUR Profile

Thanks SLOtowner... we have met a few couples who were slightly outside the range and had a blast.

DMAN964, your recent reply is on the mark and reflects a maturity that is missing from a large number of couples who post and reply here on the forums.

Here's an excerpt from your reply (re: people out of your age range who contact who contact you.):
........"I guess they figure It doesn't hurt to ask. I don't mind"

Yes, we get quite a few from above the age range, not many from below. I guess they figure "I doesn't hurt to ask". I don't mind

I have to agree with Onearmbiker and the others that feel it's a compliment to be written to, even if it's outside your age limits. It's also a common courtesy to write back, like some have said here before a polite no thank you should suffice. I have written to many people on here not ever getting any reply, whether I was in their age range or not. I do respect ones limits and sometimes I don't write to them, but the ones I do write too is because there was something very interesting, or the sincerity in their profile that just made me want to write them. I have even wrote to people to compliment them on their profile just to tell them how attractive they are with still no response. People say age is just a number but apparently some on here don't think so.
Just my 2 cents

When someone reaches out to you, for whatever reason, regardless of posted limits, that's really a compliment. If you're not interested, just say no, or delete it with a smile. I can't see any reason to feel hurt.

Age range for us is a suggestion. I’ll usually turn down guys that are under 30 because I don’t want to risk that they don’t have enough experience and not interested in playing teacher.

However there are exceptions. A while ago a gent younger than I like sent a great email. I thanked him for the great email but turned him down because he was younger than I like. He took it well, we joked back and forth in email and that was it.

Until yesterday when he emailed again, said he’s a little older and would I please reconsider.

I’ll be accepting his offer this time. Charm and wit like his should be rewarded. Plus he’s got a smoking hot body.

~rabbit~

For us the age range is a preference. As long as someone is up front about any discrepancy it is not disrespectful, at least we know that they read it in the first place. We have met with some perfectly delightful people outside of our stated parameters.

RusticMagic,

I actually agree with SloTowner (I can’t believe I’m saying this because I really don’t like him at all). If someone out of our age range contacts us, I don’t automatically see that as disrespectful. It’s so easy to miss the desired age info on someone’s profile. A gently reminder will set them straight.

I do see your point that ignoring a request stated in a profile is analogous to ignoring the “no means no rule” at a club. If an age preference is clearly stated in the body of the profile, eg- wife will only meet men older than 50yrs, and a 25yr old repeatedly emails, I would see that as crossing the line.

Also, I know it's all about personal preferences, but seeing someone that is 50 and their age limit is 18 - 50 leaves kind of a bad impression. It is their choice and perhaps their loss, because we have found very sexy people in their 70's and the Mrs top 3 favorites are all 60+.

We have found and played with people at parties where we found out after the fact that we were outside of their age limit. Even though that has happened, I usually don't reach out to people online where we are beyond their age limit.

There are exceptions to everything and the one in this case is where it's pretty obvious they have been on here for a while and simply not updated their ages and it is likely they did the same with their age limits.

Worst case is that they think we're jerks and say No, but it is also just as likely they will be flattered and simply thank us for our interest.

Slo, as mentioned many times and you should have realized by now that preferences are not elitist arrogance. Ladies prefer what and who they prefer and the LS is about living out fantasies and preferences. Anyone will struggle if they continuously approach people who openly state they aren't interested in them. Many sm's send messages to couples who state things like, "If we want and sm, we'll find you.
Don't contact us." Then the sm is upset when they get blocked. Age is a preference issue and as mentioned most do not feel comfortable playing with people 10-15 years older than themselves. Do some folks age well? Maybe they do, but that doesn't matter because this realm is about preference. If a lady prefers men their late 20's to early 30's then that is her preference. Or perhaps a couple only likes a small age spread because they find it easier to relate to couples in their age range then so be it.

"Butt-Hurt"
Now THERE'S a term to make the user appear to be cool, superior and smarter than the individual that "they" (recent PC gender neutral replacement pronoun) are attempting to ridicule, and humiliate (supposedly for having hurt feelings).

Sounds as if RusticMagic thinks they are an amateur psychologist, too. Hey Rustic, I'll let you know if I wanna book you for telecon therapy sessions, okay?

Rustic is an example of one exhibiting the elitist arrogance I've mentioned previously.

The only accurate verbiage in Rustic's reply are the two words, "discussed prior". Do what ever you want Rustic.

2muchfun,

We are the same. We wouldn’t care that someone out of our range is contacting us. The odds are definitely against them, but if we found them intriguing, we’d consider meeting.

SLOtowner it sounds as if you are butt hurt because you getting passed over because of being a single man at your age. There is a reason people have visible preferences. Some folks have a range from 18-99 some we have seen say 30-40. Respecting that or any preference goes a long way. You sound a lot like a guy that if he finally gets to the point there is going to be playtime with a couple suddenly disregards everything that has been discussed prior and is only concerned about what you want. That said you continue being you and disrespecting others and good luck with that attitude.

If someone is politely expressing interest we take it as a compliment even if they're not a match to what is expressed in our profile.

You have your opinion, I have mine.

"Ooohhhh! It's matter of respect! (You say.)
"NO! It's a matter of you posturing about, attempting to be in control!" (I say)

Essentially, it's an elitist and arrogant stance, pure and simple. People that don't buy into that, allow you to maintain that fragile status by either not contacting you, or likely just as often (my guess), by simply lying to you because everyone is here for intimate, skin-to-skin contact.

Hold your nose in the air and carry on, pard.

SLOtowner it is a respect issue more than anything else. If your preference is say 30-50 and people 65 or 20 are contacting you it is disrespectful of your preferences. If they are being disrespectful on first contact it says a lot about how they are likely to be if you meet in person much less trying to exceed rules and boundaries while playing. Simply put the first rule of sex (swinging or otherwise) is "No means no." If someone does not have enough respect to follow your preferences in regards to contact how can you expect them to respect anything else including that rule?

Our age range is there because we are uncomfortable playing with guys our parents age or our kids' ages. Not that we haven't played with young guys, just prefer to stick close to our age.

Frankly, I consider the age spread to be fairly fluid, and not a point of contention. Further, I think someone who gets heartburn simply because they receive a friendly inquiry from an interested profile outside their stated age range, is most likely someone I wouldn't care for, OR be interested in to begin with. So, if that's you with the heartburn, just give it a rest, will'ya?!!
slo

I'm an older single guy and do not respond to an ad when I'm significantly older than the listed upper age on a couples' profile. Sometimes the limit is just a year or two below my age and I'll occasionally give it a try; sometimes successfully, most times not. As irritating as I'm sure it is for couples to receive messages from people 10 or 20 years older than their stated preference, my complaint is the obverse of that. Far too many times I've contacted couples who list their upper parameter as 99, but then I receive a reply that I'm too old for them. Well I'm not 100 or above, so how am I too old? I'm in my sixties. It certainly would be nice if everyone respected the age preferences (requirements?) but it would also be nice if some people would give it a little more thought and not post 99 when they really mean 50 or 55.

We've got age ranges listed on our profile but consider them more of a guideline than hard and fast limits. For us it's more about attraction and compatibility.

You have to ask yourself why have a hard age limit set, themn ask you would see no exceptions to this. We have been in the lifestyle for 20 + yrs and things are ever evolving. We found the preferences on the profile are guidelines not written in stone when you set these up and have no wiggle your either new or not truely open minded in the lifestyle, or some may call it insecure, hypocritical, unrealistic or just far left lol. We're sure most seasoned swingers have changed their desires m preferences

I am in my 70s not many are that old.do I contact people in their 60s or just wait for some old people to contact me.how far down do I look for playmates.this is a swing site,people complain when somebody contact them.how would feel nobody ever contacted you.to all the complainters out there.this is a swing site quit complaining and deal with it.wawawa. I contact people who I think might be interested in me ,it’s all I can do.if they are not interested I go on my merry way.you it funny people will look at younger 20 years but hardly more then 10,mostly less. I will party with everybody at first then I decide if I will do it agin.am I wrong on any of this, I wonder

I am in my 70s not many are that old.do I contact people in their 60s or just wait for some old people to contact me.how far down do I look for playmates.this is a swing site,people complain when somebody contact them.how would feel nobody ever contacted you.to all the complainters out there.this is a swing site quit complaining and deal with it.wawawa. I contact people who I think might be interested in me ,it’s all I can do.if they are not interested I go on my merry way.you it funny people will look at younger 20 years but hardly more then 10,mostly less. I will party with everybody at first then I decide if I will do it agin.am I wrong on any of this, I wonder

I have occasionally written to someone outside my age but I always acknowledge that in the first sentence. I also give them a good reason why I have thought to contact them and that I understand if they are not interested. So far they have all wanted to meet and have all become ongoing playmates. Sometimes you have to take a taste before you know if you like what's offered.